I sat on the edge of the curb listening to the guys talk. I didn't say much, not anything, really. I was quiet, even around these guys, and they were my only friends. I don't know why I was so quiet. Maybe cause most times I said anything at my house I'd get hit or yelled at. It makes it hard to just be so talkative, like Two-bit. I wished I could be like all the other guys in different ways. Sometimes I wished I could be funny and outgoing like Two-bit, or strong and sure of everything like Darry, or smart like Ponyboy. Or like Dally, you know, cool and tough and everything. But I wasn't, and I knew I wasn't. I tried not to let it bother me.
Dally handed me a cigarette and I took it, feeling like I could use a smoke. I was a little shook up about Ponyboy getting jumped. I knew what would have happened if everybody didn't show up when they did. I struck a match and cupped my hand against the wind and inhaled, feeling a little better already. From the corner of my eye I watched Ponyboy, and he seemed to be calming down. He wasn't shaking anymore or crying. He'd be alright.
Dal said he was going to the movies on Friday, and it was funny, this thing. Darry couldn't go since he was always working. I couldn't remember the last time I saw Darry just hanging out. He was always going to work. He worked at two jobs to pay for everything for Soda and Pony. Well, Soda worked, too. Pony was too young, but work wasn't the thing for him. School was. I was serious when I'd said how smart he was. He got put up a grade and everything. I thought about how I could sometimes hardly understand anything at school. It was like I'd almost get something and then they'd rush on to the next thing. And at my house my folks always said how stupid I was, and I guess they were right.
So Dally wants to go to the movies, and Soda and Steve have dates or something, and Steve kinda glares at Ponyboy since he doesn't want him tagging along, and that gets Pony mad. And Darry looks like he wants to go and have fun for once but he can't ever have fun now, not since his parents died and all the responsibility for everything is on him. And Two-bit says he's gonna get drunk that night but maybe he'll show up. I'm just listening, not saying nothing.
"Me and Johnny'll come," Pony said, and asked Darry for permission. I didn't need permission to do anything. My parents didn't give a shit if I ever came home. I was planning on going to this movie before Ponyboy said I'd go with him, there was nothing else to do, plus I liked hanging out with Dally. He was cool.
Everyone kind of drifted away. Maybe Steve and Soda were going to hang out with their girlfriends. Two-bit was off to get drunk. He was at least funny and nice when he drank, just goofy. My old man, though, when he drank, he was so mean. That was when the worst beatings ended up happening, when he was completely drunk. Dally took off, too, and it was anybody's guess where he was going.
Darry called from inside the house saying that Ponyboy had homework to do. We were sitting on the porch and I was kinda sad that he had to go, since I had nowhere to go. He stood up and rubbed his arms in the sudden chill as the sun set.
"See ya, Johnny," he said.
"See ya," I answered, watching him go into the house. I stood up and kicked a can that was in the weeds, watched it roll away. It was getting kind of cold and this jean jacket was never warm enough. I took off, feeling in my pockets for some money. I had some, a few buck and some quarters. It would be enough to play pinball at the pool hall for a while.
It was getting late, I'd played pin ball and pool for hours. I should be doing homework like Pony was, but homework gave me a headache and I hated reading all the words that would get all jumbled up and backwards, sounding shit out like a little kid. I'd just go into school with nothing done, that wasn't new. The teachers didn't expect nothing from me, anyways. It wasn't like the heart attacks they'd have if Pony didn't do his homework.