Darkness' Claim, Shattered Heart
A/N Dating 13-02-2013 I started rewriting my other LOTR fic "Facing the Shadows - Loss of the Light" and came to see that this fic was nearly as popular. I can't divide my attention between both fics at the same time and rewrite (and continue this). So I decided for easier reading to at least throw a spellchecker over the fic as it is (I know, I was hasty and didn't have an english spellchecker in those days, I sucked xD). Rewrite of his and continuation probably coming after I finish on the other one.
Anthem82 ~ Well, posted chap 2 that day as well, please r&r that and this chap please. :D
Legolas19 ~ Well, ASAP is not really possible, I would lose my fuel (read: reviews) by doing that, but I won't keep ya waiting any longer, so here it is :D
Nife ~ Thnx again for reviewing the second chap, I try not to make them Ooc, thnx for telling me I did a good job at it :D
Endurwen en' kalina: Thnx again for reviewing the second chap, I am real glad you like it and I can get you this hooked, gheghe
Yami Meij no Minaraikou ~ You made me laugh and your puppy eyes worked, gheghe, I thought the three hours to be long at times as well, but when I watch while typing, it does not seem that long.
Pon ~ thnx for reviewing and being so postive about both, don't forget to review the other story!
Rath ~ I know, me lazy 2 log in sometimes too and thank you so much for telling me what Sam said, I'll change it right away.
Well everybody, thnx for reviewing! Here's the next chap, don't forget 2 review as well and do y'all have any idear on how to get more readers and so reviewers? Perhaps u all can help me :D
~Disclaimer~ Any idiot who actually thinks I could make my dream come true of owning Lotr and who actually needs this disclaimer so they will not sue me, is an idiot who makes me cry, 'cause remembering me my dreams of Leggie and Aragorn are only dreams, makes me sad beyond.
~Summary~ Legolas and Aragorn go on the journey to destroy the ring, but things happen and both realize they are more than just friends. But what will it take to let Aragorn realize it in time? A/L Slash.
Chapter Three, Grieving Heart
~Legolas POV~
I looked gravely upon Estel, he had suddenly spoken to me, I had not expected him to speak at all, but to say the words he did now, I was prepared for even less. "You are needed in Imladris, talk to Thranduil, he will send you for a secret council which will determine the fate of all". I had asked him what he meant, how he knew and what this council would reveal, but Estel spoke no more.
I had a grave feeling when I descended from the tree, a deep depressed feeling and I felt it tugging at my heart. Indeed the days had grown darker over the past time, indeed I could feel darkness rise and I knew of the threat in the east. I knew what was to happen, I knew not how or why, but I knew. I casted my eyes upon my friend one last time, knowing perhaps this was the last time I would see him. I walked slowly, unsteady even, in thought of darkness I had no grace I normally had as an elf. It occurred to me this was the time Estel, Aragorn, had to claim his birthright, perhaps it would even be time for myself to reach for the throne...
I had known it, yet casted it to the back of my mind, not wanting to know of it. I had been foolish, not thinking about it would not make it go away, it would only leave me unprepared, I should have realized that.
The ground beneath my feet seemed to whisper, the tree's humming their bad omens, all seemed different and aware of the darkness and danger now I had opened my soul to it. I cursed myself silently for being so naive, it was so unlike me. I felt myself lost, I was unwholesome, naive and I seemed to be misplaced in this world. Perhaps this council would rid me of the dark feeling that grew within me. Perhaps then I had purpose and would I find out what to do...
I briefly wondered of Estel, he had left me four weeks ago and it had torn my heart. He had left to his lady Arwen, he had told me of his love for her many times and I felt happy for him, yet I felt something amiss. I wondered if something told me she was not the one for him, I wondered if I was afraid to lose him as a friend. I always felt grieve when he left me and the joy he brought me every time he went to visit me enlightened me always.
A thought crossed my mind, perhaps I did not want him by Lady Arwen's side, perhaps I felt wrongly about it, because somewhere my heartfelt I belonged in her place. I quickly shoved the thought aside as I did always. I loved the man yes, but as a friend, it could not be any more than that, I should not be...
I felt my heart fall when those words went through me, I knew... I knew deep within myself I loved the man, more than just friendship or brotherhood...I loved him.. I dared not confess it to myself, nor ever to him! I would ruin our relationship and he would be lost to me forever, I would never see him again and grief would take me to my mother then. I knew though, without telling him soon, the same would happen, slower and more painful, but eventually it would happen. I sighed at the thought of the handsome dark Ranger. How he hurt me, how he did not know, and the Valar forbid he would know. If I would tell him, I would upset his entire life, his love for lady Arwen he would question perhaps and I would hurt her as well. I could not live with the fact I would do as such, the thought of her and especially him upset and confused tore me apart... No, I would remain silent to the grave.
"Prince Legolas! We figured it had been you again, your father needs your presence!" The guard could not help himself smile at the event, but as dark as I felt now, I could not return his smile to him. The features of the guard soon fell and his eyes became those of worry, instead of laughter. "My prince, is everything alright? Has something befallen you?".
I shook my head in thought, I had to lie to him, what was I to tell him? That I was fading under a blanket of darkness, that I was succumbing to grieve because I loved someone unreachable? No, as I vowed, I would remain silent.
I were only times like these I would admit to myself I loved the man, normally I would say to myself it was but a mere crush and it was stupid, misplaced brother love. And if I would tell myself this over and over when he was by my side, I would start to believe myself eventually. I was good at lying when it was despite of my health, oh was I good at it, always been. I would not have anyone worry for me and my health, those were my problems and I dealt with them alone... forever alone...
My heart fell at the thought of being alone, actually there was nothing I feared more than being alone.. But it had been this way since my mother died and I had not been used to anything else but being alone. I knew both Estel's were there, not all the time, but they would be there... But it were those times I could not talk to them I felt lost. The grief of losing my mother had been with me always, I had found peace with it, a part of me did anyway, but somewhere, I missed her terribly and I needed someone help me with that, I needed someone to take the burden of my shoulders, help me set it down and leave it in the past.
But Estel spoke less and less and I felt I could not relieve my heart with him no more and Aragorn... he was a source of my grief, though unknowing to him.. And I did not blame him either, but I could not relieve myself at his side, I knew I would talk too much and he would eventually learn of my love for him, no, he was not an option either. My father Thranduil was no option either, we had been in so many fights, him in pain and letting it all down upon me. I forgave him a long time ago, yet I had not found peace with it and I knew he loved my little brother and sister more than he loved me. I could see it in his eyes, I notice it in his behavior, in the gentleness and kindness he divides so unequally. We would never have a great bond anymore, and he would think me weak if I emptied my heart with him. For years I had tried to please him whenever he would get angry for some stupid reason, it was because of this I turned out to be the elf most agile, the swiftest and the one with all the better warrior skills. I had tried too hard and still I felt unworthy in his presence, because he made me feel I was. There was no one I knew that would help me carry this burden and I felt alone for it, I felt abandoned and that only grieved me more. My unanswered love for Aragorn was just the last drop I could bear, soon I would collapse under its weight.
I entered the throne room, unknowingly I had passed through the gardens already. "Legolas" I heard my father address me and I turned my saddened look from the floor to his vision. "You look terrible, you should fix yourself before you leave. I will have no son of mine look this miserable."
I sighed and asked my father why he needed my presence, "A letter had arrived from the Lord of Imladris, a letter from Lord Elrond, he requests your presence at a secret council concerning Middle-Earth's fate. I do not understand why he choose you, concerning good thoughts and the better opinion of things I say he could have chosen your brother, but he insists you come. Perhaps he needs warriors who do not think for themselves, 'cause in that you beat your brother indeed. You leave immediately with an escort of two, that should be sufficient enough". The king motioned for me to leave. I had gotten used to it, but it still tore at my heart. I would leave now and if I was never to return... I was sure I was doing the man a favor, then his brother would be able to become heir and his father would be happy.
A/N I know, short chapter, but I needed to give you a little insight on Legolas' grief. Of course, proud as he is, no one knows of this, or could see it in his behavior, but it there none the less. I know the story will take a slightly different turn from the original one, but it is my fanfic and I can do what I want. Part of his feelings are autobiographic, so I know what I am talking about, how it hurts... so don't flame me for it being wrong.
I apologize for the faults in typing immediately, I have no beta reader and I do not want one, I take full responsibility for them, please don't flame me for it. But do REVIEW :D