Darkness' Claim, Shattered Heart
A/N Dating 13-02-2013 I started rewriting my other LOTR fic "Facing the Shadows - Loss of the Light" and came to see that this fic was nearly as popular. I can't divide my attention between both fics at the same time and rewrite (and continue this). So I decided for easier reading to at least throw a spellchecker over the fic as it is (I know, I was hasty and didn't have an english spellchecker in those days, I sucked xD). Rewrite of his and continuation probably coming after I finish on the other one.
First of All everybody, tomorrow I will be hospitalized for one or maybe two weeks, they'll tell me tomorrow, thus, I cannot post any new chaps until than. But as I told ya'll before, I will be writing whilst being there and the chaps will be lined up to get posted (I hope) when I get back. I can read my mail whilst there, but I guess they won't let me use disc's, u know, virussus and such. So if you want to know anything, please do mail me at janeheartilly .
~To my faithfull reviewers (for chap 5 & 6)~
Shelly Leblanc~ Yeee, funny to think people keep finding this fic :D Lol, Most wonderfull you like it!
Yami Kanis~ EEEEEvil Arwen and no, Aragorn's not doing the best he can either, gheghe, but I'll make him feel sorry before the end, whahahahaha
Fantasicat~ You really made me smile when I read your review, really, thank you so much!
Yami Meij no Minaraikou~ Yeee, remembered your name all in one time this time! Had it spelled right! Yeeee, normally I would have to look back a couple of times, but since you are such a faithfull reviewer, well, I can type it right in one time now!
Endurwen en' kalina~ Yes, Arwen is verrrry possessive, gheghe. Thnx 4 ur review once more mellon nin.
Cofi~ Legolas is standing by my side and accepted your hanky, he is a bit tired though, he goes to sleep now, with ur hanky! He tells me to thank you.
Lillybeth1~ Whoa, a superfan, gee, thnx *is blushing*, really Thnx!
~C~ Haha, thnx for pointing out the small mistake, cou;dn't find it though.. Hmmm. Anyway, here comes another chap, dunno if u reviewed chap 6, I'll see soon. Thnx anyway for reviewing 5!
Bradleigh~ Ofcourse I continue soon :D
Forsaken^On3~ Yeah, I will add more of that, once I stop lingering in Imladris... like the pretty elves so much!
Vrenda-San~ Owh and he will suffer...both of them actually, hmmm, but Aragorn will too, he will notice and suffer for it before the end! Whahahaha
Starlit Hope~ Gives her a hanky for sniffling :D
iopiopo~ Like HUH?
Yami Chip~ Nu-uuuh, you cannot harm me, pretty lovely Legolas is protecting me (even though he is asleep now...hmmmm) NO DON'T HURT ME!
RaNdOm Hp FaN~ Thnx for the Havo Dad!
Bradleigh~ Thank you, I hope everything goes well too, *shivers* tomorrow already!
Chibi Kitty~ what's UH? Dunno, anyway, next chapters are coming up!
VRENDA-SAN~ Yeah, me hopes to return soon as well and euhm, everybody wants Aragorn to suffer, and he will... hahahahahahahaaaaa :D
YAMI CHIP~ Yeah, but still dunno what I did wrong, hmmmm :D
Brilover~ Haha, a new reviewer, well, sorry, but don't need another Beta, Dinah is doing a wonderfull job at it. Am sorry, but if I write anything new and Dinah cannot Beta, then you are first in line!
Violettegal345~ Haha, anxious ghe, good thing you don't have to wait longer than a week, here's the next one and please do keep on reviewing!
Me~ Hi, new reviewer once more, thnx for pointing such things out, but I do not have a spellchecker, nor can I download one, for the program won't take it. But anyway, the movie quotes come straight from my television set, so I don't think anything is wrong with them, but I'll doublecheck.
Legolas19~ Thnx, so many people seem to know more elvish of the movie than I, wonder why...
Shadow41~ Well, look at the bright sight, if you had followed it from the beginning, you would have to wait for the nexst chaps, like you have to now. Haha, please do review each and every one :D
Kelly L.K.~ Short, but good information, though so many people have already told me, thnx anyway!
Forsaken^On3~ There you are again, haha, thnx! Owh, but the A/L will drop in sooner or later, so please do wait.
Emme1~ Owhkeej, I'll keep your words in mind, but if you have read 6 anyhow, you might have read some new lines, but I'll really keep it in mind for upcoming chaps.
Starlit Hope~ Tells her she can keep hanky now, she probably needs it :D
Yami Meij no Minaraikou ~ Yeah, but they only banished me for a bit, I changed the date, so I thought it was first of March, but it was the third of Januari! Stupid me! But in Holland we write in differently
The-Serious-Padfoot~ Alright! Another new reviewer! Thnx 4 reviewing and please keep on doing so.
Yami Kanis~ *Blushes again* Dunno what 2 say but thnx...
Lady Darkness13~ Alright, I have never done it before, but me likes it. Anyhow, the quoting will get less since I do not have the DVD right next to me anymore in the hospital. But thnx for reviewing none the less, I like to know everybody's opinions!
Phew, that's it, DONE! Haha, please do read and review this chap everyone! Those who might not have read, the next update will be in one week or two counting from tommorow! Please do wait for me and mail me if you like to :D.
~Disclaimer~ Any idiot who actually thinks I could make my dream come true of owning LotR and who actually needs this disclaimer so they will not sue me, is an idiot who makes me cry, 'cause remembering me my dreams of Leggie and Aragorn are only dreams, makes me sad beyond.
~Summary~ Legolas and Aragorn go on the journey to destroy the ring, but things happen and both realize they are more than just friends. But what will it take to let Aragorn realize it in time? A/L Slash.
Chapter Seven, Crumbling Heart
~Legolas POV~
Something was amiss I could feel it everywhere. It was not the Ring's power that awed or scared me, but there was something uneasy and negative in the air, tension... Things had not been the way it should have between Estel and I. Of course, I felt the unease in my heart every time I saw him with Arwen by his side. The future scared me as well, would she always stand in between us? I did not blame either of them, but it hurt me subconsciously every time. I pushed it to the back of my mind and heart, into the darkness, where in my dreams I would meet them.
But Estel, he did not know I had seen, or that I minded that he stayed with Arwen. Perhaps out of guilt... no, it could not have been. Estel was being as distant as ever, I truly did not understand why. Maybe he was angry with me for leaving so suddenly. Even at the council, he was not himself, or so I felt. I could feel our friendship fading in some way and I did not know why...
Ever since the council had been held, I had been taken aback by Aragorn's reaction. In some way, I felt guilty for revealing him before he wanted too, but in time he will understand why I had to do it. The glances he had cast upon me where not those of caring, they looked and felt rather like betrayal... Did he know? I quickly cast the thought aside, of course he did not know, it was impossible!
The council had ended now and I was officially part of the Fellowship of the Ring. Of course I was eager to join, not only because it would mean some time at my friend's side, but also... it would bring meaning to his life, knowing it would end before all would become peaceful again. What did he have to live for now? If he had not joined, he would have gone home and died there, slow and painful. Now, he would die with purpose, knowing he at least brought something good to Middle-Earth. Besides, it would take his mind off his suffering; it would help him push the pain, memories and longings to the darkness in the back of his mind and heart. They would only greet him when he slept, and he preferred not too... he had no reason to sleep, except for the strength needed in battles.
I walked through the halls of Imladris, not going to bed to sleep, or wandering into the beauty of the gardens. No, I was here to look for a certain person, hoping he would be alone, so I could ask what ailed him. I needed to know before we left for the quest. I needed to know if I could depend on him as my lifelong friend, or as someone I had just met the other day. I did not why that would be an option, but then again, I knew not of Aragorn's strange behaviour, so I would be prepared for anything, and I was as I continued searching.
~ Aragorn's POV~
Legolas... I did not understand and I felt myself torn between two fires. He had left - he had just left Imladris. Perhaps he needed some distance, perhaps he... I did not know why he had left. I had seen the sadness in his eyes, once I left with Arwen, but he had made my decision. Just like he had at the council. I was angry with him for taking that particular decision; it should have been my decision and not his. I was and I am not ready for the great responsibility that comes with one of a King. I do not want that power, nor did I ever desire it and I still do not, but what choice do I have left now? I do not, because someone took it for me...
Last night, Arwen had declared her love for me. She had done it with all the passion and love she felt within herself. She had given me her immortality, her love... she said she was not bound to me forever, until I would die and she would fade away... I did not want her to do that, it felt wrong, but was I to reject her? Stray away, even though I loved her so much? I guess I should have, but these are thoughts that always lingered after making wrong decision's... Nay, I had to stick by it now, I had her love and life and I would not fail her, ever.
But also she had asked me a most peculiar question; I truly not understand why, but I had agreed to it nonetheless. Perhaps I had agreed to it a bit too fast, for now I lay in torment over what I had promised her. She had asked me to break the special bond I had with Legolas. She told me she felt as if she could not hold my entire heart, if his friendship was to be there. She feared I would leave and see him for many years and she would be left behind, all alone. I said I understood and I promised her to distance myself from him. I had not promised to break the bond, I could never do that, for that the elf meant too much to me. But to please her, in perhaps the last days we would spend together, I promised to distance myself.
Now, I sat alone in a dark room, only lit by few candles and I felt so terribly torn. Arwen meant the world to me, she was the one I loved so... But Legolas... he had been my friend for so long, being my teacher, my confidant...my soul mate.
The elf always knew what thought was in my mind and he always knew how to counter my hurtful feelings, my insecurities and pain. He had healed me thousands of times and I found him protecting me with his own life in battles when I was injured. He had been there always... always... I knew he felt the same way, but how was I going to do this?
How in the name of Valar was I going to distance myself from him? Acting as if I had never created such a bond with the elf. I could not, it was impossible... but I had to, for Arwen I needed to do this. I needed to respect her wishes, thinking these might be our last days and nights spend together. If I perish in this upcoming war, I needed her to know she had my entire heart and my last thoughts would be with the one I love so dearly...
Soft footsteps in the hall broke my chain of thoughts. They were so soft, none but an elf or Dunédain, such as I, could have heard it. I felt a smile creeping onto my face and a warm feeling entering my heart, the elf had not left once more, he had stayed in Imladris and I knew he searched for my approval of what he had told everyone at the council.
A sudden chill went up my spine; I needed to act the right way now, to please both sides. I needed to let Legolas know I was still one he could depend upon. I needed him to know I was still his friend. I also needed to act so Arwen would understand my heart was hers. Of course, my heart had always been hers, but apparently, she did not see that. I could act the way I wanted towards Legolas, but I knew Arwen would know, somehow she would know...
I could explain to Legolas, he probably would understand why I had to do this. It seemed the right way, I could not lie to the elf, nor could I lie to Arwen. I needed both to know the truth and I needed them both to understand. But Arwen did not, so I had to carry out her wish and I could only hope and pray to the Valar Legolas would understand.
A knock at the door made anxiousness and fear crash upon my heart. Now was the moment of truth...
~Normal POV~
"Be entered Legolas" Aragorn spoke.
"Mellon nîn" Legolas entered and whispered the words, whilst bowing a bit to greet the man.
"You have been searching for me," Aragorn spoke, trying to decrease the tension in the room.
"I have, I need to know if you are at peace by the revelation I made against your wishes. I am here to ask of your forgiveness".
A pang of guilt entered Aragorn's heart, did he really needed to tell the elf before him that he was taking his friendship a few steps down? Here the handsome elf stood, asking his forgiveness as a true friend.
"I felt it was not necessary Legolas and it grieves me you took my choice away from me. I no longer can decide whether I claim this right or not, you have done so for me... But there is naught to be done about it, so you are forgiven".
"I am sorry Aragorn, I had not meant to take your choice from you, but to me it seemed it was the right time. Men are in need of a good king, men are in need of you, Estel".
Aragorn only nodded at the compliment.
"I need to know about other things as well..." Legolas hesitated, but it showed not in his words.
"Those are?"
"You act as if you are a stranger to me Aragorn; you act as if you did not know me any better than you do Boromir".
"I...I have my reasons Legolas" Aragorn could not bring himself to explain after hearing the words of sorrow reach his ears.
"Your reasons bring sadness to you and I." Legolas spoke.
"My reasons are of promises I made towards the lady I care for".
Legolas nodded, it made since to him now. Arwen must have seen it in his eyes, as he knew the elders did, Glorfindel, Elrond... It suddenly dawned to him she might have revealed this to Estel, though he doubted she would. She feared to lose him. Legolas did not know why she feared this, since Aragorn would never chose him over her...
"The fair lady Arwen..." Legolas acknowledged.
"Yes, I cannot explain, but you and I must forget our feelings of dear friendship until we return from his quest" Aragorn spoke.
*To forget feelings, you know not how truthful your words are Aragorn. But am I so less important to the Evenstar? Had he not even tried to defend their relationship against Arwen's words?* Legolas mused. He was hurt, hurt deeply and he needed to know if his hunch was true. He needed to know if he chose Arwen easily, or if it truly was an ordeal to him. It was important to him, his heart needed to know.
"Lady Arwen, does your love for her rise so high into the heavens, it makes our friendship look like a mere unimportant dot?" he chose his words carefully.
"You must understand Legolas!" Aragorn began, the words his friend has just spoken had hit a sensitive snare. Of course, he did care for him! But he cared for the lady that gave him her immortality as well. He had to repay her somehow and if this was what she desired, then it was decided. The ordeal was big enough as it was; I need not for Legolas to accept this!
"You must understand, Arwen has given me her immortality, her love and life. I need to repay her, I need to accept her wish to..." Aragorn could not word it as he looked into the blue orbs and saw sadness.
"She is irreplaceable..." Aragorn whispered, lowering his head into his hands, the ordeal and torment of him being torn apart becoming to great.
"...then I take it I am" Legolas' words slapped him right in his face and he immediately raised his head from his hands and stood himself, trying to prove the elf otherwise. However, Legolas had already left, his own heart shattered. Not only did Legolas need to protect his heart from himself, but now he needed to protect it from the Ranger as well, seeing he chose to cast him aside, so he could live happily ever after with his Lady.
~ Aragorn's POV~
Here I stood, still alone in the dark room. I had made my vows to the Lady Arwen, but they were vows I simply could not keep... While trying to make the right decision for both sides, my mouth speaks words that taken wrongly, words I had not meant to speak. But it was too late, I had hurt my best friend in the entire world and I feared I had lost him. Moreover, it was my own fault; I chose to take him out of my heart so my love for Arwen could claim it. It was wrong, I needed to make up with Legolas and I needed to tell Arwen I could not fulfill her wishes.
Thus, I moved my feet and headed to Arwen's chambers, knowing I would probably lose her as well... I would end up alone, no friends, no lover...
~Arwen's POV~
I had seen it in his eyes, in the blue orbs that belonged to a certain young handsome elf. I realized my father had been right all along, it was not right to marry Estel, it was not right to give him my immortality and love... However, I cared for the man so greatly, I would not let him go. I would not release myself from him so the blonde elf could advance further. I will not let Estel make a fool of himself, a male human loving a male elf, it would be ridiculous and irresponsible to both. Neither of them made a worthy king this way.
In my heart I knew Legolas was not to last long, his feelings for My Estel being far greater than mine. However, I did not care, Estel was mine and he would keep his dignity, even if that would mean the fading away of the Mirkwood prince...
I had asked of Estel to release himself from Legolas, to break their bonds. Estel had seemed hesitant, but I managed to convince him to do this for me. It was the least he could do for me, I sacrificed my immortality, he needed to sacrifice his best friend, so I would not live afraid. Of course Estel did not have knowledge of this, he did not yet realize Legolas cared for him so... and he was not to find out either, I made sure of this after appointing this task to my meleth (Lover).
I was surprised when I found him suddenly behind me. I had been brushing my hair whilst sitting on the edge of my bed and being so deep in thought of the Mirkwood prince and my lover, I had not heard Estel walk in.
I turned and smiled at him the most seductive I knew how. "Meleth..." I started, but Estel broke the sentence.
"I can not Arwen" he only spoke, knowing I would understand, and I did.
"What do you mean, you can not?" I asked, maybe a bit angrier than I wanted too.
"I spoke hurtful words and he faded into the dark halls in grief. I can not do this Arwen; my heart won't allow me to continue what you have asked of me".
In his eyes I could see he meant it; he was not about to give it any more thought. I knew I could not dissuade him anymore, I could try my best, but he was simply incapable of doing as such. But my plan worked nonetheless, Legolas was deeply hurt as Estel tells me. It will not take long for him to fade and then there will be no other threats to take away Estel from me...
"Then you must not Estel, if it hurts you so, I do not want you to continue... Stay with me tonight, one last night?" Estel nodded, much to my pleasure, he was not about to forget me and his loyalty towards me for several weeks. He will not sway towards Legolas before the Mirkwood prince sees the end...
~Normal POV~
Legolas had retreated himself from the room quick and silently after the hurtful words were spoken. He felt overwhelmed by a throbbing pain in his chest, overwhelmed by the grief reality brought him. Estel had made it perfectly clear; the elf meant nothing to him. He was replaceable for all the Ranger cared. He needed to step aside, step downwards, so Estel could be happy. This he would do, he would respect Arwen and Aragorn's wishes, and he would not stand between them. Not as Arwen had done to him and Aragorn, he would fade quietly and alone...
Legolas took refuge in his bedroom, the aching pain in his chest had grown and all his head could think off were Aragorn's words, "Arwen is irreplaceable..." He was...he was replaceable and it hurt to know this, it hurt to hear those words part from Aragorn's wondrous lips. The lips he had admired and loved so much, had now hurt him beyond recognition.
The elf closed the door behind him and looked at his bedroom. It had a blue tint as moonlight softly trickled into it, just as sun gave it the warm yellow glance. The balcony doors were closed, but the window above his bed was open as always. He needed to smell the fresh air and the odors that came from the garden, he needed to hear the wind sing, to hear to tree's talk and sing as well.
He fell to his knees and let his face rest upon his bed. Tears fell freely from him, he did not care for the vow he had made to himself, this was more than he could bear. If the quest had not been of such great importance he would have faded right then and there, if only to be released of the immense pain he felt in his chest, which grew with each drawing breathe.
Suddenly he felt himself being overwhelmed with the pain, as if a great piece of his heart had just crumbled. He immediately sat straight up, surprised by the pain he felt. His breathing became irregular, his heart pounding loudly and pain as if a poisonous arrow had shot him. He grabbed his chest, tears stopped falling and he stared into the garden as if calling the trees for help. However, they did not answer, all they did was mourn. The elf could feel it in the air, in the wind that made its way into his open balcony doors. The trees mourned with him. Nevertheless, that would not help him and soon Legolas found his vision blurring and slowly fading into darkness as he lost consciousness and fell upon his bed...
A/N Dumdumdum, I know, short chapter and perhaps not as good as I intended it to be..., but I could not place the argument anywhere else... So that's why it's a chap on its own. Like it? Hope so; I know Arwen is a little Orc and mean, but I need to revise some things to let them fit into my story, you'll see more of that later. But will their friendship be restored? Will Legolas die over his grief soon? Or will he be able to withstand it? I know all of it, but do you? Haha, guess you do not, but you will find out... Review pleazzze