Author's Note: I hope you guys liked the previous chapter. I have been trying to make things a bit more realistic in my stories, and I don't know how good of a job that I am doing. That is something that you, the audience, will have to tell me.

My beta is back! I have missed you fulofhyperness! EVERYONE, GIVE THIS FANTASTIC LADY A ROUND OF APPLAUSE! SHE DESERVES IT!

Chapter 2: Absence

(Arthur's Point of View)

When Merlin told me about his magic, I thought that he had to be joking. There was no way that my manservant, a bumbling, clumsy manservant at that, could have magic. I tried to pass it off as a joke, even though the serious edge to his eyes had me worried.

When he conjured the blue ball into existence, I was shocked, hurt, betrayed, angry, and above all else, afraid. It came to me how easily it would be for Merlin to kill me, how easily he could overthrow everything that had been accomplished. It was then that I thought about what he had said about the hand he played in my father's death. That was what made me get up and grab my sword from my horse.

To say that I was surprised when Merlin stood up when I ordered him to, and look at me calmly wouldn't have been far off the mark. He even walked right up to me until the tip of my sword was pressed against his chest, right where his heart was. I was in hysterics, and I said the first things that came to my mind.

"You say that you have only ever used your magic for the good of Camelot. You say that, so why is my father dead? You have had magic this entire time, and you kept it from me, your 'friend'. I considered you my best friend and my most trusted adviser, when you were the one with the darkest secret." I said, panting with the effort of keeping everything inside of me.

"I am your friend, and my magic shouldn't change that. The reason that your father died is because someone planted an enchanted amulet on him that would make any spell worked on him reverse and do the opposite of what it was supposed to do and inflict the spell, or curse in this case, tenfold. I have only ever used my magic for the good of Camelot." Merlin said, and it caused me to get angry again, because I didn't know of a single friend that would keep something like this a secret.

"You liar!" I screamed in his face, watching as he lost his calm and collected air, and it was replaced with pure despair. He looked at me, and I saw the wild hurt in his eyes, which nearly made me flinch away. However, I remained strong and stood my ground.

"Would you rather me dead? Are you going to take me back to Camelot and have me burned at the stake?" He asked, and I could hear the fear of it in his voice. It made me think that he would do anything to cling to life. It was also then that I was struck with the horror of how far Merlin thought I would take it. I would never in a million years take his life, regardless of what he had done.

However, he took matters into his own hands, and started walking forwards again, walking right into the sword. I watched in mounting horror as the blade slid into his chest, and I heard his gasp of pain. That was what shook me to the core, and I pulled my sword away, being careful not to make the damage worse.

"Why would you do something like that? You could have killed yourself." I said, incredulous as to his reasons. He was crying steadily, and I saw as he took a glance at my face, and his features twisted in pain even more, and he took in a shuddering breath before answering my question.

"Because I have ruined everything... You will never look at me the way that I look at you again. I love you, and I have ruined it all. I will leave you so that you may move on with your life. I promise that I will not step foot in Camelot again. It would be best if you just forgot about me." He said, and started running in the opposite direction. I tried to call out to him, but it appeared that he didn't hear me.

I wanted to go after him, but my mind was on overload, and I couldn't get my body to function correctly. I felt wet streaks on my cheeks, and knew that I was crying. I didn't care at that moment, because the only thing going through my head was that Merlin loved me. He loved me, and trusted me with his darkest secret, and all I did was throw it back into his face. It was the realization that Merlin had trusted me with his secret that made me surge to my feet, looking wildly around.

I took off in the direction that he had disappeared in, and though I prided myself as a great hunter, I couldn't find his tracks anywhere. It was as if he had covered them so that he could get away, and that was probably what he had done, as I couldn't imagine he would want to see me after I had hurt him so badly.

After a few hours of searching, my mind had calmed down somewhat. I finally realized that I was wasting my time, and that Merlin didn't want to be found. And I couldn't blame him. I despairingly made my way back to the clearing that we were at, and tied the horses together, so that the one that Merlin had rode wouldn't wander off, and then I started making my way back to Camelot.

When I got there, I managed to compose my features enough that only those who knew me best would be able to tell if anything was wrong. As such, I was able to pass the gate guards without them being alarmed, though I did notice that they looked at the riderless horse next to me with confusion.

I managed to make it to my chambers without having to explain anything about my true emotions to anyone, which I was very grateful for. I didn't know if I would be able to hold it all in if I had to explain myself.

I closed the door, and eyed my bed with longing. For the past week and a half, Merlin and I had shared a bed. I desperately wanted him back, and after I had thought things through, I realized that it was true that Merlin had only ever used his magic for the good of all of Camelot. I couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of a burden it placed on his shoulders to not be able to tell anyone with the fear of being executed. I couldn't blame him for not telling me, because I literally told him to his face that anyone who had magic would be executed.

I sighed, my breath catching in my throat as I remembered all of the times that Merlin and I had been through. I always knew that there was something odd about him, but I never could figure it out. I thought that I was good at figuring him out, but he kept that secret from me for so long. I can only imagine that he kept it from me when my father was alive because he didn't want to place an unnecessary burden on my shoulders.

I was so exhausted that I could barely stay on my feet any longer, so I stumbled to the bed and got in, hugging the pillow that Merlin used close to me. I took a deep breath in through my nose, and realized that the pillow still smelled like him. I fell asleep, holding Merlin's scent close to me, wishing it were the real thing, and not an inanimate object.

I was back in the cave where I had found the Mortaeus flower to heal Merlin. I realized too late that I had walked right into a trap, when the maiden that had escorted me to the cave said a spell and the ledge I was standing on crumbled. I managed to grab onto the ledge before I could fall. I looked at her, and saw the look of contentment in her eyes, knowing that it had been a trap from the very beginning. A giant spider approached, and the woman told me that it wasn't my destiny to die by her hand, and she walked away. It was then that a blue ball of energy formed right above my head. It illuminated the cave enough for me to see the flowers.

I quickly scampered up the wall and grabbed the flower, then followed the light up and out of the cave through an opening in the ceiling. I watched the ball for a second, and then it disappeared. I realized that it was magical, and that someone had just saved my life.

I woke up, gasping for breath, and remembered the dream that I had. The blue ball of energy had been made by Merlin. Even though he had been dying, he was still trying to save me. It really put into perspective how much he cared for me. I knew that I needed to find him, but there were only so many places that I could start.

I decided to start with Gaius, and when I made my way out into the open air, I realized that it was already night. It made it easier to go to Gaius's quarters without having to be distracted from my goal.

I got to Gaius's chambers, and hesitated for the briefest of instances. It was late enough that the old physician was probably asleep, and I felt guilty for wanting to wake him up. Then I remembered Merlin's heartbroken face, and my resolve hardened again.

I knocked, and heard shuffling from behind the door. There was a hiss and a flash of light, so I assumed that Gaius had lit a match to light a candle so that he could see. The door opened, and Gaius stood there, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he looked at me. He seemed startled at seeing me there.

"What's the matter sire? Are you hurt?" He asked, and I shook my head no. I wasn't physically hurt. No, the hurt that I was experiencing was far deeper and far greater than that.

"No, Gaius, but I need to talk to you. Privately, if at all possible. I'm sorry if I woke you up." I said. Gaius scoffed and shook his head, and I knew him well enough to know that it meant he couldn't care less if I had woken him up.

"Of course sire, come in. Tell me what's wrong, because you never seek me out unless you are injured or it has to do with Merlin. I'm guessing the latter, as you seem to be fine." Gaius deduced, and I was a bit surprised at how easily he could figure it out. I took a seat on a stool, and Gaius sat opposite me. I looked in his kind face, and found myself talking.

"Gaius, I fear Merlin may be gone. He left Camelot." I said, and there was so much emotion going through me that I was forced to stop, or I would have choked on it. Gaius looked at me shocked, and I could tell that he was worried.

"What happened sire?" He asked simply.

"Merlin told me a secret of his, and I said some very hurtful things to him. Merlin and I had been in a secret relationship, and I had asked him out on a hunting trip, just the two of us. It was then that he told me his secret. He was scared of my reaction, but not because he was afraid to die. No, he was afraid because he thought that he had ruined our relationship. He told me that he loved me, that he would never step foot in Camelot again, and that I should just forget about him." I said, trying to hide the fact that Merlin had magic, because I had no idea if Gaius knew or not.

"With the reaction that you just explained to me, I would venture to guess that he told you about his magic. Even if he hadn't, and this is the first time that you heard it, if what you say is true, than I have nothing to fear because, as you said, he won't step foot in Camelot again." Gaius said.

"So you knew then? How long have you known?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Ever since the first day that he came here, sire. And before you feel betrayed, the only reason that I found out is because, while I was looking through my books on the second shelf, I tripped in surprise when Merlin called out my name. The railings weren't strong enough, and I was sent falling to the ground. Merlin stopped time enough so that he could locate my mattress and slide it under me with his magic. He saved me, and I told him I wouldn't tell anyone about his magic." Gaius said, and I understood his position. He would have been harboring a sorcerer, but on the other hand, that same sorcerer had probably saved his life.

"Well, that makes sense then... How much has he done for the kingdom? I know about the hand he played in my father's death, because he told me, so could you tell me more about that? He told me about some amulet that had been enchanted to make sure the healing spell went bad, and I know that it was his light that led me out of the cave in the Forest of Balor on my quest to find the Mortaeus flower." I asked, settling down, because I had a feeling that it would be a long time before I got to move again.

"It was Merlin's magic that saved you from the vengeful sorceress and landed him his spot as your manservant. He had been told by the Great Dragon that it was his destiny to help you become the Once and Future King of Albion. He realized, after a bit of frustration, that being your manservant would be the perfect opportunity to protect you. He was the one that brought the snakes to life in your fight against Valiant. He saved you from the sidhe, and he also tried to trade his life for yours at the Isle of the Blessed. He has done so much for you and for the kingdom, all without having to be thanked. He did it because he believed in the great King that you will be one day. My bet is that he will still protect you, even if he is no longer by your side." Gaius said, and paused. He got up and got some water. He offered me some, and I gladly accepted, the feeling of the cool liquid a balm to my aching throat.

"As to the hand he played in your father's death, he had no idea about the amulet. He wanted to save your father, even though if Uther ever found out about him, Merlin would surely die. I can't say what made him want to do it, though I suspect the feelings that he has for you are the likely cause." Gaius said and got up. I thought that he was going for more water, but instead, he went to one of his bookshelves, and brought down a wooden box. He sat back down and opened the box, taking out an amulet. He handed it to me, and I realized that it was warm, even though it had just come out of the box.

"That's the amulet that I found on your father's body. It wasn't hard to figure out who enchanted it either. It was Morgana. When you came back from fighting her, you were unconscious and barely alive. Merlin was in hysterics, and he told me what had happened. You had gone to face her alone, and once Merlin found out what you had done, he rushed to find you. When he got there, Morgana was already saying the words that would end your life. Merlin shouted at her, breaking her concentration, and he hurled her away from you. Merlin said that her back hit the ground hard enough to crack. He had killed her, and that thought repulsed him, but the thought that repulsed him more was the thought of losing you." Gaius said, and looked at me with sympathy. It was as if he could plainly see the turmoil going on inside of my body.

"I need to find him Gaius. I don't care how I do it, but I have to find him and turn everything right again." I said. Gaius looked at me thoughtfully, and I could tell that there was a plan forming in his mind. He sighed and shook his head.

"There is a way to make sure that you can find him. However, you are the king now, and you can't go traipsing off, even if it is after Merlin. You have duties that you need to attend to. Unless..." Gaius said, looking thoughtful once more. I grew impatient as the minutes ticked by without him explaining what was on his mind.

"Unless what Gaius? Whatever it is, I will do it without hesitation." I said sincerely. Gaius looked troubled, but I could tell that he had made up his mind. I wasn't the only one who cared about Merlin, after all.

"I know magic. When your father banished it, I was one of the only ones who was spared. I know of a spell that will allow me to become any person I choose, as long as I have a lock of their hair. As to finding Merlin, it would be more magic. There is another spell that will bind you two together so that you can always find each other, no matter the distance. I must warn you though, sire. The effects are permanent. You will always be bonded if you decide to do this. Also, this bond is made of love, so it would be best if you truly did love Merlin before consenting to this." He said. I didn't even need to think it over. Merlin was the only person that I wanted to be bonded to. I grabbed a knife from the table next to me and cut off a lock of my hair, handing it to Gaius.

"Do it. All of it. As soon as possible." I said, to which Gaius bowed, and went over to the bookcase once again, taking down a stack. He reached into the empty alcove and pulled a switch, causing a section of the bookcase to swing open, revealing a few dusty tomes. I could feel the crackle in the air, and I knew that they were magic.

"You need to be here for the bonding spell." Gaius said, to which I nodded. He opened the book, flipping through the pages before finally exclaiming once he found the right spell.

"All right, sire, I've found the spell. You will need to keep Merlin's face in your mind. The more detailed it is, the stronger the bond." Gaius said, and I immediately conjured up an image closing my eyes in the process.

It was as if he was right there in front of me. I could see his lean, scrawny figure. I saw the poor clothes he always wore, his jacket, his neckerchief, everything. But most of all, I saw his face. It was lit up in one of those smiles that he only seems to show me. I saw his high cheekbones, overly large ears, pale complexion, blindingly blue eyes, and the unruly mop of black hair. He was, in a word, perfect. I loved him, and I intended to let him know just how I felt.

"All right sire, I am going to chant the spell now. Keep the image in your head." Gaius said, but I wasn't really paying attention to him. My mind was focused on the image that I had created.

"Merlinus Arthuro nexus ut valeat aliquid, fortius vinculum caritatis vinculum mortale. Se dicant semper invenitur, quamvis procul in alterius semper arma." Gaius chanted, and I felt a strong tugging in my chest. I gasped, knowing that if I followed the tug, I would find Merlin.

"Go now sire. I will cast the spell on myself to make me look like you before sunrise. You don't need to worry about the kingdom. Just bring Merlin back with you, I beg you. He is like a son to me." Gaius said. I opened my eyes and looked at Gaius. He had unshed tears in his eyes.

"Thank you Gaius. I will never forget this. Thank you." I said, bowing down low to him. It was the only thing that I could do to show him how much I appreciated what he had done for me.

After I straightened back up, I didn't waste any more time. I strode out of the physicians chambers, intent of finding Merlin.

Intent on finding the missing part of me.

My heart.

Arthur's Note: I have no idea how to begin a spell, so I went to a translator, and typed in 'May the bond between Arthur and Merlin be strong, stronger than the bond of any love or mortal tie. Let them always find each other, no matter the distance, always to be in each others arms.' I translated it from English to Latin. It sounded magic enough for my tastes, so I hope you guys thought so as well. Drop me a review, letting me know what you think.