Ziggy smiled to himself as Captain Kirk left his quarters. Everything was going according to plan – if a bit accelerated by Jim's discovery. He had intended to lead Spock on a bit longer, enough to form a real attachment to the Vulcan, before breaking it off. It would force him to confront Kirk whilst Ziggy watched on or was back on his planet safely away from retaliation. But now things had changed.

"No problem-o," he said to himself, sitting back down on his bed and running his hands through his sweat covered forehead. "Things are fine. I might just have to leave a bit earlier than expected. No worries. Mine is a large planet, easy to get lost in. Oh!"

It was then that phase three was brought into effect. Ziggy smiled.

Jim waited for Spock to speak but the half-Vulcan just sat behind his desk and looked straight ahead. It was annoying. Jim had been ready to leave, to just drop the subject for now and go back to his quarters and regroup, but Spock had called him back, and for what? To just sit behind his desk, his hands clasped together like Sherlock Holmes.

"Well, Spock, what do you need to confess?" Jim asked a bit concerned. When the Vulcan didn't reply, Jim turned back to the door and said, "see you tomorrow then."

"Wait."

The Vulcan's voice rang through the room, wavering slightly. Jim stopped but did not turn. This is it, he thought. He thought back to what Ziggy had said. So far no sleeping together had occurred and nothing, nothing at all, had been solved. It seemed like Ziggy was wrong after all so then why did Jim feel like he had lost as well?

"I think," the Vulcan started, "no, I know that for the last few days, five to be exact, we have been avoiding what happened down on the surface of Ziggy's planet." Jim turned. "I wish to confess that I have not stopped thinking about our shared dream where-"

"No." Jim blinked, staring at Spock as if he'd grown a second head. This was not the time to think about that. "Don't."

"Jim, we cannot deny what happened in that dream-"

"- And I don't want us to, Spock," Jim interrupted. "But we cannot- I don't want to talk about that dream."

"We spoke of it only a few days ago," Spock said standing up and coming around his desk to stand in front of Jim. "What has changed?"

"Nothing has changed-"

"Then why can we not speak of it now? I see no reason for you to avoid-"

"I am not avoiding this-" Jim interrupted again, only to be interrupted himself.

"I have not stop thinking about our actions within the dream," Spock said taking a step towards Jim. His usual distant almost cold voice replaced by something Jim could not, or would not, recognize. "I have to acknowledge that the night you appeared in my quarters and press your lips upon mine I very much wanted it, Jim."

Jim stared at the Vulcan for a long time. Inside, he felt his whole body trembling, his heart going a mile per hour and his lungs seemed to have stopped breathing. Outside, he clenched his fists at his side and said, breathlessly, "but it wasn't me. It was Ziggy."

"Yes, but I did not possess that information at the time and had no reason to doubt that it was you."

"You didn't find it weird that I showed up in the middle of the night and kissed you?" The Vulcan shook his head. Jim held out his hands and took a step back and away from Spock. The Vulcan took a step forwards, not taking the hint that Jim didn't want to share the same breathing space with him. "You know what? This is exactly what Ziggy wanted. And I'm not going to fall for it."

"I do not understand."

"Neither do I, Spock, but I know you well enough to know when you are not being yourself." Jim walked to the door, stopping just shy of the entrance. "This doesn't sound like you, Spock. You're a Vulcans; you can't feel as you've pointed out a few times before. You can't feel anything-"

"We both know that is not true," Spock interrupted. "I seem to recall you becoming captain because I was emotionally unstable."

"Your planet had just collapsed on itself, your mother had just died. It is not-"

"I also seem to remember it was you who elicited said emotional response from me." Spock took a step forward, enough for Jim to have to look up to see him. "I also remember the feel of your warm skin under mine as I held you by the neck and threw you against the console and choked you. I remember the memories that seeped through your skin and into my mind - impossible things that have yet to happen. The memories of my older self and his T'hy'la, his Captain Kirk and the lingering question of will we be that too someday.

"I may have embraced my Vulcan side but I am still half human and try as I might, you seem to be able to 'get under my skin' as you say. Try as I might I cannot help it, and I have tried, Jim. Which leads me to one conclusion and that is that I lo-"

"No." Jim said harshly. "You don't feel that, I don't feel that, we don't feel that, go it? No."

Spock could only stand in front of his door, mouth wide open as Jim left. As the doors locked behind him, Spock let out a chocked gasp that seemed to take all the air out of his body because he promptly fell to the floor. His knees connected with the harsh material, which seemed to snap his lungs into action. He stared at the closed door, unblinking.

So this is how it feels to be heartbroken, he thought, fascinating.