Jim went to his quarters as fast as he could - quite fast since they were just about next to Spock's. Once he was inside, he locked the door with an override code and let out a long, breath. His legs wouldn't move, his lungs wouldn't work, his heart wouldn't stop pumping. He wouldn't blame his body if it just gave out from what a jerk he'd been to Spock.

Not just a jerk, buddy, a gigantic ass with a capital A. And you know what? You deserve a lot worst than your body giving out. That would only hurt Spock more anyhow. You deserve to live and see Spock find true happiness with someone who deserves him, someone who loves him back.

Not you, never you, he thought to himself, shaking his head slowly, because you are incapable of love. You say Spock can't feel? Guess who's lying to himself. You, that's who! You're the one who can't feel. The fucking Vulcan feels more than you do.

Not that you'll admit that because you are Captain James T. Kirk. The man who saved Earth from disaster, the man who beat the Kobayashi Maru, the man who stared down a deranged Romulan and offered him mercy. Where was that mercy tonight? Where?!

Jim slept a grand total of two point three hours that night. By the next day, Jim was feeling worst than he had ever felt and that included the day Sam had left him to deal with his stepfather alone. He had bags under his eyes, loss of coordination and he didn't eat or shower. All he could think about was Spock's stupid face, those stupid blinking eyes looking at him with those stupid lips that opened slightly. Jim was loosing his mind… and it had only been one night.

Nevertheless, he headed to the bridge for his shift. Once there, he mumbled a good morning as he walked to his chair. Already there was a yeoman with a pad in her arm. He could always count on the yeomen to distract him. And it worked… right up until Spock walked in.

Jim had a habit of turning to look whenever the turbolift opened. For a small second, as the doors opened, his eyes met the cold stare of Spock. For that moment Jim could've sworn he was looking at a bona fide android and not Spock. Jim broke eye contact first.

He was ashamed. He knew it. Spock knew it. No one else had to know it.

Spock went to his station and not once looked back at Jim.

At lunchtime, Jim left as Spock remained at his station.

Jim left the moment his shift was over.

Uhura was pissed. No, pissed wasn't the correct word. She was feeling absolutely wrathful. All day long she had seen the way Spock and Kirk had avoided each other. Not one of them had said a word all shift. The whole bridge was silent for the entire shift with nothing but mechanical beeps here and there. It was maddening. But then after shift, she cornered Spock in the Turbolift (after Kirk had practically ran out after his shift ended) and there is where she found out.

There was only one thing to do. She needed the Doctor.

Doctor McCoy was drinking on the job – not that anyone could see since he was in his office, the doors sealed and the sickbay empty. Today had been a slow day with just a few cases of paper cuts (Yes, these idiots come to me for papercuts. I'm a doctor, not their mother!), one extremely weird fellow who had turned his hand into an ice sculpture and an ensign with a previously unknown allergy to strawberries. But they were all logged, seen and discharged and now the good doctor was going to have a drink.

He was on his second cup when his door slid open and Uhura came through it like a tornado. She sat on one of the chairs in front of his desk, her long legs neatly together and her hands on her lap. What a lady! – He thought.

"What can I do for you -"

"Slap Jim upside the head."

"What that boy do this time?" McCoy asked taking out another cup and sliding it towards Uhura. He poured her a drink. "Did he flirt with ya again? I keep tellin' him that-"

"He broke Spock," Uhura said softly, her eyes watering slightly as she took the offered glass and took a sip. "H-he broke him, Leonard. Jim broke Spock."

"Like, literally or-

"Emotionally, literally, metaphorically, all of them."

"Ima regret this, im sure," he said. "But tell me everything."

Damnit Jim, McCoy thought as he made his way to Jim's quarters. After Uhura's tale, he had felt obligated to check on Spock but he was in the gym working out his aggression and McCoy didn't want to bring up Jim when the Vulcan was in deep ninja mode. He stayed for a few moments looking at the way Spock moved and trying to figure out why the Vulcan hadn't just slapped Jim himself by now. Hell, he'd choked him out a few months ago! What difference would a little slap upside the head make on their already fragile relationship?

He entered his medical override code to enter Jim's quarters with only a shout of 'Jim, you better be decent!' before walking inside. He gasped as he took in the state of the room. And right at the centre of it all, James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, laid with a bottle clutched in one hand and vomit spilling from the corners of his mouth.

"Jim… what have you done?"