Hurrrrrrr hurrr hurr oh sweet baby lambs.

... My brain is exploding as I continue this story.

I mean, after everything that's happened over in the other reality ... o.o

Decepticon-silverstreak: Maybe a torture daddy … ? …. … *cough* … yeah, that was a bad attempt at a joke. Und ja, ze doctor is fascinated by zhese snug trousers …

Zombiegirl777: Hahahaha … oh my gosh. No joke. … I wonder what it might be like (hence writing this story!). And TOTALLY taking up your suggestion by the way. … I absolutely cannot WAIT to write it! XD … I can't even imagine what all the quotes are going to be like … X3

NameUnimportant: I LOVE THIS SUGGESTION.

Snowstormcat: HAHAHAHA. Story of my LIFE! … oh god, poor Kitty; caught red-handed … And dude, brah … this chapter is kind of shedding some light on that … (of course, in fiction, you have to sometimes make stuff up that people wouldn't normally accept… .)

Rose of Dusk: I totally wouldn't! … but if they were insistent … and they shoved Richtofen in my face ...

WickedIntentions: HAHAHA GOOD! XD … Just wait till you see what the gamertag actually is … ;D … Of course, poor Kitty never expected the real man would somehow become a part of her life … X3 … As far as a little somethin'-somethin' … OH MY GOODNESS WHAT EVER ARE YOU IMPLYING? … c; … Hope you enjoy this update my dearest! *snugglecakes*

M3D1C101: HURR HURR HURRRRRRR.

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Between Two Realities
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

CHAPTER FOUR

keine Ähnlichkeit mit
"No Resemblance"

Now, all three of us were huddled around the computer at the counter.

I'm sure it was an odd sight. Jake, cool and relaxed in his Bean Machine uniform, clicking away at the screen; me, panicked and biting my lip; and Richtofen, taller than both of us and furious as always, hunching over to examine the machine.

"Zhis device is incredible," he murmured, touching the display.

"Hey, don't touch that," Jake said, frowning. "That could mess it up."

Richtofen glared at him.

"Just open the video so we can be done with this," I grumbled, glancing around the room.

"Geez," Jake muttered. "Hold onto your britches."

The doctor chuckled.

In the searchbar, Jake typed "Kino der Toten Gameplay," and a load of results popped up. As he scrolled down the page, I chanced a glance at Richtofen. He was staring intently at the screen, his face twisted into an odd expression.

"Vhat is all of zhis?" he asked, confused. "A public database?"

"Kind of," I muttered. "It's called the internet. It's basically infinite information."

Jake scoffed. "Or infinite shit," he grumbled. He opened a youtube video, turning down the volume.

Black gloves holding Porter's X2 Ray Gun moved calmly through the alley, shooting beams of red energy at oncoming zombies. One of them moaned, smacking at the player. He dodged skillfully, killing it with a well-placed shot. Just then, a yellow arrow appeared onscreen, a pale white message flashing. XxDJsnaZZyPants needs to be revived.

The player sprinted into the building, heading for the theater. XxDJsnaZZyPants, playing as Dempsey, was dragging his ass slowly down the aisle. As the first-person player headed toward him, a crawler grabbed him, and a familiar voice shouted, "Get off my leg, minion!"

"That's a gamertag," Jake noted, pointing toward the name above Dempsey's head.

Richtofen was enthralled. "Zhis replica of ze theater is incredible," he murmured, scowling. "How can zhey know zhis?"

All of us watched as the guy playing Dempsey was revived. Once up, he sprinted away from the first-person player, toward the stage. At that moment, a giant throng of zombies headed out of the dressing room, surrounding the Dempsey player. Our first-person Richtofen player taunted, "Oh, look at our brave American soldier, needing help from ze doctor!"

The real doctor jerked back, grimacing. "Is zhat vhat I sound like?" he asked, his voice sharp.

We both nodded at him.

He scowled. "My voice is not zhat high-pitched," he grumbled.

"Uh," Jake muttered, "It kind of is." The doctor glared at him and he quickly corrected. "Sometimes. I mean sometimes."

We spent the next ten minutes or so watching various clips of Zombies gameplay. Richtofen was enthralled. And disturbed. The likenesses of Nikolai, Takeo, and Dempsey made him upset because, as he noted, "Zhey are even uglier like zhis." And when we showed him a close-up of his own character model, he made a noise of disgust.

"Zhis offends me," he growled. "I am far more magnificent."

I bit my lip. It was kind of true.

"Well," Jake said, "Game models always look kind of weird. I mean, look at the models for Kennedy and Nixon. I'm sure they looked better in person."

Richtofen was still scowling at the screencap, leaning in close to stare at it. "Vhy have zhey made me so corpselike?" he hissed. "My face does not look like zhat. I am not skeletal. Und I am not zhis squat." He scoffed.

Jake shrugged. "I guess they wanted to play up you being a bad guy or something," he said, matter-of-fact. Then he looked the doctor up and down, glancing back at the screen. "It looks kind of like you," he muttered. "Kind of."

"Nein," he snapped. "I have eyes. I know vhat I look like. Und zhis is not an accurate depiction of me."

Again, it was kind of true. Sure, it resembled him; in the way Kennedy's model resembled the real Kennedy. It was like Jake said. The model was just … weird. Angles were sharper, features were exaggerated, and the Richtofen model was simply creepy. Light didn't reflect off of it properly, making its face look distorted.

The man himself looked like a man, not a zombie.

He gave me a strange look, and I realized I'd been staring at him. I looked away quickly.

"Vhat?" he snapped, addressing me. "Do you zhink I look like zhat?"

I frowned, looking back at him. "No, I don't actually," I grumbled.

The answer shocked him. I guess he'd been expecting me to say yes.

As he stared at me, uncharacteristically speechless, I continued. "You look more human than that," I said. "It's kind of like … a caricature of you," I muttered, finally finding the right word. "It's obvious that it's you, it's just not completely accurate."

He pressed his lips together.

"I totally agree," said Jake, grinning at me. "It's a caricature."

"Zhis subject is making me extremely angry," Richtofen announced, closing his eyes. He pressed fingers to his temple.

"We just said you didn't look like that," I grumbled, frowning at him.

"You said it vas not completely accurate," he corrected, grimacing down at me.

I groaned. Oh my god. What the fuck was my life? "Look," I muttered, also getting pissed. "It's not a big deal."

The furious look in his eyes suggested otherwise.

"Really?" I scowled up at him, running a hand through my hair. "What do you want me to say?" I snapped.

Jake just stared at us.

"Tell me vhy ze model is not completely accurate," he snarled, mocking me.

Rage flushed my face and I stepped closer to the doctor, invading his personal space.

"You guys," said Jake, nervous, "We are in a public place…"

I ignored him. "It's a representation for a game. Of course it's not accurate," I spat.

"I meant in vhat vay," he spat back, narrowing his eyes.

"It's creepy!" I said, exasperated. "You're not that creepy."

He scowled. "But it is an ozhervise accurate depiction," he muttered.

"No," I groaned, frustrated. "Why the hell are we talking about this?"

"So zhat is not how you see me," he clarified, continuing to frown.

I blinked. "Not since I met the real you," I said, my eyebrows bunching in confusion. "Are we done now?"

He was looking at me strangely again. "How does ze 'real me' differ from ze model?" he asked. Nope, not done.

I didn't know how to explain it. I struggled with the words. "The model is just … ugly," I finally managed, shaking my head. I looked up at his face, his real face, and frowned, trying to word it better. But that was the bottom line. The model was ugly, and he … wasn't.

It was weird to realize.

His eyes flashed at me. "Ze model is ugly," he agreed. Then he stared at me, expectant.

"And you're not," I added, humoring him.

Jake looked torn between amusement and confusion. "Are you sure you guys aren't dating?" he asked.

We glared at him.

"Excuse me," said a tiny voice.

All of us twisted around to see a little old lady at the counter, looking worried.

"I don't mean to interrupt," she continued, "But I need to pay for my coffee."

"Of course, ma'am," said Jake, bustling over to the cash register.

The doctor and I stood awkwardly by the computer, frowning at various things in the room. We avoided frowning at each other. When I frowned at a man in the corner, he frowned back, and I jumped, glancing away.

Suddenly, Jake was back. "Look, I get off in an hour. How about you guys meet me then?" He stared at Richtofen for a moment. "I have an idea of something we could do."

"What?" I asked, apprehensive.

The doctor just kept frowning.

Jake grinned. "Let's just say it involves my new HD TV," he said, waggling his eyebrows.

"We are not playing zombies with Richtofen," I muttered.

"Oh," Jake sighed. "I believe we are."

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herp derp derp ... lols ...

... I'm laughing like an idiot to myself over here. ...

But I'm seriouslah, the way I picture Richtofen in my head is TOTALLY different from the way his character model looks. (I'm going to have a draw a picture and link it to you guys). I mean, in game, sometimes he honestly looks like a zombie. But here's a close-up of all the character models' faces ... which I think is WAY more accurate (the 3D ones, not the creepy cartoons next to them. Dempsey and Richtofen look COMPLETELY WRONG UGH): http(colon)(forwardslash)(forwardslash)(i).(imgur).com(forwardslash)(y)(Tiya).(png)... Replace the colons/dots/slashes with their symbol counterparts, and remove the parentheses... And then you can see Richtofen's big pretty German lips. Hurr hurr hurr. Also ... in that screencap ... Dempsey looks kind of like my boyfriend ... o.o ... Except my boyfriend is all long-faced like Richtofen ... so imagine their baby. XD

... ... I'm not the only one who thinks Richtofen's sexy in that screencap, right ... ? D:

Thanks to Zombiegirl777 for the suggestion that they all play games together!

Ze Doctor Says: "Fine. I vill agree vith you ... *sigh* ... I am sexy. ... NOW LEAVE ME REVIEWS!"