... You guys are gonna LOVE this chapter.

If I say so myself, I mean... X3

... I can't explain how much FUN this story is to write. I think partially it's because it has no real "plot" ... it's just goofy ridiculousness. And I LOVE IT!

And I can assure you that there will be at least one more chapter with the doctor playing Zombies.

At least. ... At most, he's gonna go pro. XD

Flipnotes: Hmm… Perhaps I'll write an "Insert Yourself" story where you can go on a date with the doctor. XD … The gamertag shall be revealed below! And YAY! I'm so glad my stories can be an inspiration! C: I hope you enjoy this update, my dear! Thank you for the review!

M3D1C101: Ohoho … I do believe you are correct. X3 … Oh, Richtofen. If only you knew how many fangirls you had… XD

Rose of Dusk: HERE! TAKE THE UPDATE! TAKE IT! :D And awww thank you! C: I'm glad you enjoy my writing, my dearest!

Decepticon-silverstreak: And doesn't he know it! ;D

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Between Two Realities
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

CHAPTER FIVE

der Doktor ist nicht erfreut
"The Doctor is Not Pleased"

The doctor held the controller awkwardly, his long fingers curled around it like spider legs.

"Vhat do I do vith zhis?" he asked, grimacing.

"Just hold on a minute," muttered Jake, setting up his Xbox.

We were in the common area of his apartment, where he'd installed his enormous new TV and sound system. I had to admit, I was excited to see how the game looked on the huge screen. Almost excited enough to forget that the actual Doctor Richtofen was sitting in the room with us.

It was so weird to see him there, hunched in the middle of Jake's worn-out blue sofa. He looked completely out of place. And the fact that he was holding an Xbox controller was simply ridiculous.

Sure, he didn't look exactly like the Richtofen we played from behind the screen. I scoffed, rolling my eyes. We'd established that quite clearly at the Bean Machine. And the T-shirt and sweatpants weren't quite as terrifying as the Nazi uniform. But those were definitely the same cold green eyes I'd faced every day in the real Kino. They flashed threateningly out at us, like those of a cornered animal.

"Zhis is very upsetting," he announced, scowling at me. "I vish to know ze purpose of zhis device."

"It's the game controller," I grumbled. "Just wait. Jake has to get the console set up first."

I watched as the person in question hooked up various HD cables and turned on his speakers. They thumped with air, and Richtofen's eyes darted over to glare at them. "Now vhat is happening?" he asked, his voice rising in pitch.

"That's just the sound system warming up," explained Jake, nonplussed. He was totally absorbed in the process of hooking up his electronics. I grinned. He was kind of a technophile. When it came to technology, he spared absolutely no expense; and I had to love him for it. Gaming at his apartment was always an experience.

The doctor made a noise of frustration and leaned back against the couch, frowning at the ceiling. He was still holding the controller awkwardly away from his body.

I bit back a giggle. Finally, I could appreciate how hilarious this whole situation was.

Unsurprisingly, he noticed. His eyes moved over to me, narrowing. "Vell, at least someone is amused," he muttered humorlessly, running a hand through his dark bronze hair. It was dry now, and slightly wavy, which surprised me. I guess without his hat and whatever he used to slick it back, this was the way it naturally looked.

He made a face. "Vhat?" he snapped. "Shtop shtaring at me."

My lips quirked into a grin before I could stop them, but I looked away.

He inhaled sharply. "I really vant to hurt you vhen you do zhat," he growled.

"Okay!" Jake said brightly, backing over to the couch. He plopped down beside the doctor, completely nonchalant, like he wasn't sitting next to a madman. I pursed my lips. This was all still a game to him. He hadn't realized that this was really Richtofen. Of course, he also hadn't seen him in action, killing zombies for days on end like I had.

I sighed.

Jake looked up at me with big brown eyes, grinning. "You joining us?" he asked.

I edged over to the couch, ignoring the feeling of the doctor's cold eyes watching me. He was sitting dead in the middle of the sofa. I sat down as close to the arm as possible.

"Alright," Jake said, reaching down to pick up his controller. "Here we go."

He mashed the center button and his Xbox flared to life.

The opening screen flashed up on the TV, and Richtofen twitched, staring at it. I listened to the dulcet Microsoft theme tones, trying not to get too excited, but it was hopeless. Even after experiencing the horror of the real thing, I was still pumped to play me some Zombies.

Jake found his LIVE ID and signed in, DesignatedJMan88.

"That's my gamertag," he said informatively, glancing at the doctor.

"I know vhat zhey are now," Richtofen hissed, annoyed.

"Alright, alright," Jake said dismissively. He leaned over, looking at me. "You want to sign in with your tag for the doc? Or do you want me to put him on my guest account?"

I grimaced. But before I could say anything, Richtofen interrupted.

"I vant her to sign in," he said, grinning.

I frowned at him, which only made his smile even more wicked.

"I'm not going to," I muttered.

He moved toward me, completely aware that I was trying to stay as far from him as possible. I winced in the opposite direction, looking away from his face. Holy shit. I could actually feel his body heat. "You love Ze Doctor so much you name your alias after him," he murmured, his voice terrifying, "Und yet you vill not share it vith ze real man?" He tutted.

I blushed. "Get the fuck away from me," I grumbled.

I could feel him smiling at me, but he backed off.

Jake was quiet for a moment, staring at us. "Uh… okay then." He reached for the doctor's controller with a hesitant hand. "Wanna give me that so I can sign you in?"

Richtofen obliged wordlessly. Jake put him on a guest account, handing the controller back.

Then he selected the Black Ops logo on the main screen, and the Treyarch intro credits started rolling.

A notification flashed up on the screen. Two of Jake's friends were playing Black Ops. He mashed his home button to check who they were, and the dialogue scrolled up to show his friends' recent activity in the game. Only two were online, the two announced in the message. Everyone else hadn't played in hours. Someone named MrGr8Fantastix was online two hours ago; POWAb17CH was online three hours ago.

And ZeDoctorIsPLZD was online eight hours ago.

What? How was that even possible?

"Hmm," Richtofen mused, stroking his thumb along his bottom lip. "I believe I have found Kazhleen's gamertag."

I frowned, sinking back into the couch.

"Alzhough," he murmured, "Vhat is ze significance of ze lettering at ze end?"

"I think that's her version of chatspeak for 'pleased,'" said Jake informatively, making me frown even deeper.

"Ah. Und so ze alias is 'Ze Doctor is pleased.'" He chuckled. "Indeed."

"Okay," I grumbled. "Can we just get on with the game?"

Jake pressed start and scrolled down to Zombies on the opening screen. The familiar creepy music started playing and my heart leapt in a happy reflex. How could I possibly miss this game? I was literally just in it. … And apparently was online playing it eight hours ago, even though I knew I was in Kino eight hours ago. The real Kino.

As Jake selected Kino der Toten, I groaned.

"Vhy do you keep groaning?" asked Richtofen, annoyed.

I glared at him. "Just leave me alone."

He grinned. "So testy," he murmured, savoring the word. "Your anger is delightful."

We turned to watch the screen, waiting for the lobby to fill with players. Some annoying kids were screaming into their mics, so Jake switched out to try a fresh group. Again, everyone with a mic was way too loud, so Jake sighed, giving up. "It's probably a bad idea to go straight to multiplayer on LIVE anyway," he said, laid back as always. He talked to Richtofen like he was just another guy learning how to play the game. "We'll do two-player first, so you can see what it's like."

He scrolled back to the Zombies menu, hit split-screen, and selected Kino.

The comic book opening screen flashed up on the TV.

Before I could stop myself, I started to recite the doctor's diary. It was a habit.

"Entry seven four one zero TWO-" and I choked on the words, stopping mid-quote and staring in terror at the doctor.

But he hadn't noticed.

He was watching the screen intently, his face twisted into a frown.

"… zhis station vill hold ze key to ze real goals of group nine-three-five. I still do not trust my unconventional allies, but zhey are of great use to me. BUT, I digress. Who vould have zhought the M.T.D vas capable of time travel? How many stations does zhis group have? Vhere did zhat little girl disappear to? Only time vill tell vhat new questions avait us in zhis...THEATER OF ZE DAMNED!"

And then I heard the all too familiar sound of the teleporter, zapping us into the first round.

"Well well well," grumbled game-Tank, and the sound of his voice made my heart ache. "Looks like there ain't no power."

He was still in that other reality. Did he even know I was gone?

Richtofen made a noise of disgust. "Dempshey," he spat.

That made Jake bust out laughing. "Holy shit," he said. "You really hate him?"

Richtofen glared at him.

"Jake," I muttered. "Why don't you explain the controls?"

"Oh, right," he said, leaning over to point stuff out. "This is how you walk, and this is how you look around." He demonstrated on his controller, making Tank walk upstairs. "And if you push on this stick, you sprint. It kind of takes some getting used to."

I watched the doctor's surgical fingers toying with the controls, making Nikolai spin around on the bottom screen. He grimaced. "Zhis is nauseating," he grumbled.

"Yeah, you just have to mess around for a while to get the hang of it," said Jake, looking apologetic. "I wish I had some kind of magic way to teach it to you."

"I am capable of teaching myself," Richtofen snapped, glaring at him. Then he turned back to the screen. I watched as he made Nikolai walk slowly across the teleporter pad, trying to figure out the dual control sticks. That was when the first few zombies started moaning and ripping off boards.

The doctor twisted around on the couch, his eyes wide. "Impossible," he hissed, staring out at the room.

"It's in the game," I said quickly, touching his arm. "The zombies are in the game."

He looked at me for a moment, silent. "Ah. Indeed," he mumbled, turning back to the TV.

"Woah," said Jake. "You guys are really paranoid now, aren't you?"

Richtofen ignored him.

Unconsciously, I reached up and rubbed my scar through my sweater.

During that first round, Jake showed the doctor the ropes. How to shoot, how to stab, how to look around a corner; it really took me back. I used to suck at playing Zombies, and watching Richtofen fiddle awkwardly with the controller made me frustrated on his behalf.

The third time the doctor was downed, he hissed in irritation and threw the controller at me. "I vish to observe," he snarled, furious. I stared at him for a moment, then picked up the controller, pausing and setting my options. The plastic was warm from his hands. I tried to ignore that as I unpaused, running Nikolai over to board up a window.

Jake and I made short work of the remaining level one zombies. Then when two was halfway through, the demonic announcer shouted "Insta-kill!"

Richtofen winced. "Scheiße," he muttered, pressing a finger to his temple. I frowned at him, and he turned to look at me. "Ze voices," he grumbled.

I frowned deeper. "Insta-kill?"

Now he was frowning. "Did you hear it?" he asked, tentative.

"That was the game," I gasped, my eyes widening. "That's what they sound like?"

He stared at me. Then he muttered something so fast in German that I couldn't even make out hypothetical words. "Zhis is beyond comprehension," he hissed. "How can ze manufacturers of zhis … game … know vhat ze voices sound like?"

"Hey, Kitty," Jake muttered. "You wanna help me out here?"

I checked the screen, and saw that he'd been downed. Three zombies were closing in on me, so I dodged them, leading them away so I could revive him. "This is so weird," I mumbled under my breath, watching the orange triangle over Tank's head turn white and eventually disappear.

"I'm not turnin' now, am I?" asked game-Tank, and I shivered. My face crumpled.

I could feel Richtofen's eyes on me, calculating. "Zhis makes you miss Dempshey, ja?" he asked. His voice sounded strange.

I shrugged. This was getting way too bizarre. I killed all of the remaining zombies with angry stabs of Nikolai's knife, and he growled, "No, it's my vodka! Mine! My own!"

The doctor suddenly laughed, high-pitched. "Oh, zhat is so gloriously Nikolai."

"Wait till you hear yourself," Jake said, waggling his eyebrows.

Richtofen frowned again.

"Why don't we just do single-player and restart until we get him?" I suggested, desperate to avoid hearing Tank talk again. "I mean, that's why you brought him here, right?"

Jake grinned. "That's a good idea," he said. He paused the game and quit, exiting back to the main screen.

"I have a feeling zhis vill not please me," grumbled the doctor.

"Uh oh, Kitty," said Jake, joking. "Looks like you've gotta change your gamertag."

I scowled at him.

He selected single-player mode, and the opening screen started up again, with the doctor reciting his diary entry. Richtofen grimaced.

Then the teleporter zapped again and we were back in the theater.

"There is no power now," noted Takeo's voice, stern and measured as always. "Perhaps there never was."

"Ah, ze monkey bomb!" exclaimed the actual doctor, and I snorted. I couldn't help it. He literally just said one of his funniest game quotes.

"Guess I'm gonna have to look at the portraits," said Jake, also laughing.

Richtofen glowered between the two of us. "I vant to shtab both of you," he grumbled.

Jake restarted the level. This time, Nikolai's gloves were holding the pistol.

"No power," Nikolai said happily. "Just like home."

Jake restarted. Nikolai again.

"Maybe someone should go turn on the power now," Nikolai grumbled.

Another restart.

"We need to bring light to this dark place," murmured Takeo.

Restart.

"Aw, are you freakin' kidding me?" Tank groaned. "No power!"

Restart.

"I think we need to do something about the power," said Nikolai, blunt.

Jake groaned. "This is so fucking annoying," he grumbled. He restarted again.

Another familiar voice spoke. "Zhere is no power… how suspicious." There was a pause. "Or OBVIOUS!"

Before I could stop him, Jake restarted again.

"Jake!" I hissed. "You had him!"

He looked at me in confusion. "Oh, shit," he muttered. "I just got used to it…"

Luckily, as the teleporter zapped away, I noticed it was black gloves again.

"I cannot torture my minions wizhout power," muttered the game. "Dempshey, you go turn it on."

Richtofen barked a laugh.

"He likes it!" Jake yelled, triumphant.

Watching the doctor's face, I wasn't too sure he liked it. He seemed more curious than anything. And of course he was still angry as always.

Jake ran across the room, stabbing zombies, and the game-Richtofen shrieked. "Ze BLOOD! Ze beautiful BLOOD!"

The doctor frowned. "I vould never say zhat," he grumbled, pouting.

I stared at him. "I've heard you say that," I said, incredulous.

He grimaced at me.

Jake looked like he was choking back laughter.

"Did you feel it? Oh, I hope you did," moaned game-Richtofen, shooting a zombie.

The real doctor scowled.

"Oh, come on," I muttered. "You love pain."

He pressed his lips together. "You have played zhis game often?" he asked. It was more a statement than a question.

"Yep," Jake answered for me. "And she always plays as you."

I groaned.

Richtofen's eyes flashed. "Und so you have heard all of zhese zhings zhey make me say," he extrapolated.

I stared at him, strangely pissed and embarrassed. "Everyone who plays Zombies has," I grumbled.

"Everyone loves the doc," Jake agreed.

"Don't tell him that," I muttered.

But Richtofen was still scowling at me. "You are avare zhat zhis is shtill only a representation of me, ja?"

I frowned. "You're really getting on my nerves with all this 'representation' shit," I hissed.

"Vell, I do not appreciate zhis game assuming it knows everyzhing about me," he snarled.

"Look," I muttered. "Obviously this," I said, gesturing to him in disgust, "Is the real you. Not that," I said, pointing at the screen. "So just let it go."

"I vant to know ze extent zhey presume to know me," he snapped, defiant.

"Then we'll have to go on the internet again," Jake groaned.

"No," I objected. "We're not doing that. It'll take hours, and this is already stupid enough." I sat up on the couch, scooting back to perch on the arm. I scowled at both of them. "What I really need is a way to explain why he's here, and find some way to … shelter him or something." I grimaced. "I really don't have time to watch you play Richtofen while Richtofen watches you play… Richtofen." I huffed.

"But I shtill vant to learn how to play zhis game," complained the doctor, stubborn.

"Later," I hissed. Then I frowned. "Wouldn't reality implode or something if you played as yourself?"

He gave me a deadpan look. "Don't be daft," he growled.

"As far as somewhere to stay," Jake muttered, looking tentative, "My roommate's gone for the semester."

"Here?" I raised my eyebrows. "Jake. Do you really understand who this is?"

"You do realize I am sitting in betveen ze two of you," grumbled the doctor.

"Yeah, sure," said Jake. "I mean, you wouldn't really murder me, right?" he asked, looking at Richtofen.

The doctor thought about this question for a moment.

Jake started to look panicked.

"I suppose not," Richtofen finally mumbled, disappointed.

"See?" I said, horrified. "You can't let him stay here."

"Well, you can't have him at your parents'," Jake countered. But he was horrified, too. "I see why this is such a problem now, though."

Richtofen made a noise of exasperation. "I vill not kill eizher of you," he announced, frustrated.

"You can't kill anyone," I snapped, glaring at him.

He pursed his lips.

"You'd get arrested," added Jake.

"Ja, ja," Richtofen grumbled. "She already explained zhat to me."

"Okay," Jake said, thinking about all of this. "Then … why can't he stay here?"

"I guess he can for now," I muttered, not sure what else to do. "But I don't want you here alone with him." I ran nervous fingers through my hair. It had dried into a mess and I was kind of embarrassed that Jake was seeing me like this. He'd only ever been just a friend to me, but still. I liked to be presentable if I could.

"I guess you can stay here too," Jake suggested. "I mean, you've stayed here before."

"Yeah," I conceded. "And I've already been dealing with him for the past few weeks or whatever it was in that reality."

"I am shtill here," Richtofen growled.

"I know!" I hissed, frowning at him. "You think I'm blind?"

"Does he have clothes and stuff?" Jake asked.

I shook my head.

"Nein," said Richtofen, giving me a dirty look. "I can answer for myself."

"Guess we better take you shopping or something," Jake muttered.

"He can't wear his old Nazi uniform," I agreed. "He's got on my dad's clothes right now, but … they don't really fit you, right?" I asked the doctor.

He scowled. "Zhis clozhing is strange und ugly," he said, picking at the baggy sweatpants.

"So that's a yes on the shopping," I muttered.

"You get to play dress-up with Richtofen!" Jake teased, batting his eyelashes.

I frowned. "Every girl's dream come true," I said in a sarcastic monotone, and the doctor turned his scowl on me.

"Probably some," Jake noted thoughtfully.

I sighed. "Okay so, he's gonna stay here," I said, beginning to list. "We're getting him clothes somehow, with all the money I don't have." Jake nodded. I continued. "And I'm going to stay here too, and make sure you don't become one of his experiments," I finished.

Richtofen scoffed. "I cannot perform an experiment here," he said, scandalized.

Jake grimaced at him. "Should we start with the clothes then?" he asked. "Maybe a thrift store?"

I chewed on my lip. "I never thought I'd want to shoplift this badly," I grumbled.

"Turning to crime is a bad idea," Jake scolded.

"Not alvays," muttered the doctor.

I was tense, trying to figure out how we were going to afford clothes. "Maybe someone else we know has old stuff that would fit him?"

"I can ask around," Jake suggested, thinking aloud. "But that probably won't do us much good for now."

I sighed.

Suddenly, someone's stomach made a loud noise.

Judging by the look on his face, it was Richtofen's. "I suppose I am hungry," he noted, surprised.

"Food's a good idea," said Jake. "Let's go get some." He gave me a comforting look. "I'll treat him. And I'll cover the clothes if I have to."

I shook my head. "That's ridiculous," I said, blushing. "I'd feel like shit if you did that."

"Hey," said Jake, refusing to listen. "You've helped me out before. And besides, you're a good friend. I want you to know I'm here for you, too."

I smiled warmly at him. "You know, I really would've missed you if I'd been trapped in Kino forever."

The doctor got to his feet. "Zhis is all very sveet," he grumbled, stretching. "But I vould prefer finding somezhing to eat."

I got off the arm of the sofa. "Alright," I said. "But let me use the bathroom first."

"Oh, how pleasant," said Richtofen, sarcastic.

I ignored him, walking down the hall.

After I did my business, I washed my hands, examining my reflection. Yes, I was a mess. I shuddered to think what I'd looked like before my hasty shower. Now, I was clean, but my hair was frizzy, and there were dark circles under my eyes from the strain of the past couple of weeks. Weeks that suddenly didn't exist. I shook my head. After an unsuccessful attempt to smooth down my hair, I left the bathroom.

I almost smashed into the doctor, frowning. "What are you doing here?"

"Nature calls me as vell," he snarled, pushing past me and slamming the door at my back.

Weird to think he had to piss just like me. I chuckled, walking back into the common area.

"What do you want to eat?" Jake asked as I returned.

Suddenly, the thought of food overwhelmed me.

Real food. Food that wasn't from a can stolen in Germany.

My stomach clenched.

"Anything," I murmured.

"How about a burger?" he suggested.

And that sounded great to me.

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Once again, Thanks to Zombiegirl777 for the suggestion that they all play games together!

Hehehehe ... Fun times with Ze Doctor!

... This story is WAY too much fun ...

I hope you guys are having as much fun as I am. XD

Does anyone else have suggestions for things they want to happen? Because ... believe me, I'll have a BLAST writing them!

(And like I said: Don't you worry... the doctor's not finished playing Zombies! X3)

Ze Doctor Says: "Zhis does not amuse me. MY VOICE IS NOT ZHAT HIGH-PITCHED. ... ... not all ze time ..."