I've pre-ordered my tickets for Star Trek Into Darkness (Fan Sneak in Imax 3D) for May 15th. Have you?

Jim had fallen to the ground, his knees buckling from under him and landing with a hard thump on the hard floor. His legs had splayed out in front of him, hands helplessly reaching towards the bed to catch himself but failing to grab on. His eyes watched Spock walk out, his usual confidence betrayed only by his clenched fists. He gasped, unsure how his lungs operated within the tight confines of his chest cavity, his heart beating rapidly between them and stomach flipping over like a damsel in distress.

Spock caused a certain reaction within Jim - that was not new. What was new were the wave of emotions, the sadness, hate and remorse, he felt as the Vulcan brushed past him, his lips so close to Jim's ear and whispered, 'I feel more than you know, Jim.' Maybe, just maybe, Spock did feel more than Jim gave him credit for. But that did not excuse going into his dream and invading his privacy. Nothing could excuse that breach of trust, feelings or no feelings.

How could he even trust what Spock felt? How does a Vulcan know the difference between love and hate? They closed themselves off years ago and being half human won't change the fact that half of Spock will always be in emotionless. And that was what Jim was most scared off. What if one day he woke up and Spock decided it was time to stop pretending to be human and go back to being a Vulcan? What if Jim gave in and discovered that he did care about Spock and it ended up being an experiment? How could he risk that? His mother had met the love of her life and, when it failed, look where that got her? Strings of lovers, each worst than the one before, none who really cared for her or she for them and yet she continued because there was an aching hole in her chest and nothing to fill it with. He did not want that.

He might have been in a coma for a few days but that didn't mean he didn't recall what happened. At first things were fuzzy, everything muddled together and nothing seemed real. Once he concentrated enough, sorted out what felt real and what didn't, finding that everything, in fact, had happened, he managed to piece together the events that led up to his coma. What had actually happened to give him a coma was still a mystery, blocked off by his mind as a coping mechanism, perhaps.

Jim concentrated on the facts, thinking back to the idiotic decisions that had led him to this point, on the floor, shaking and with tears threatening to spill. Only one word came to mind: Spock.

"Jim!" Bones continued screaming at his side. "Jim, are you okay?"

He grabbed on to the doctor, wanting something stable to touch, something tangible too feel against his skin, which felt red-hot. Spock was the reason for everything. He remembered yelling at him on the bridge, watching his neck and seeing a love bit marked on his pale skin. He remembered the rage he had felt, the need to rip Spock from his console and show him what a real love bite was. He remembered Bones dragging Spock away under false pretences and the look he got from the crew when Jim's eyes finally left the closed turbolift doors. He remembered feeling petty, wanting to rush after them and apologise to Spock. He remembered so many things and yet… he understood nothing.

"I'm fine, Bones," he replied with a wince, getting into the bio-bed with the doctors help. "I might have hurt my knees a bit, though."

"How's your head?"

"My head?"

"Yeah, that inflated thing laying on top your shoulders," the doctor replied sarcastically, pointing at him. "That head."

"My head is fine."

"That your new word? Fine?" the doctor cocked an eyebrow. "I don't know what the hell that green blooded hobgoblin was playin' at but, goddamit Jim, did ya have to yell at him like that?" Jim didn't reply, opting instead to look down at his trembling hands and wait for the advice and slap that was surely coming. The doctor delivered a moment later. "I don't know what the hell is going on with you two but damnit! We are on shore leave and we have bigger issues to worry about that a domestic fight between y'll. Get your shit together, boy. Or this this ship will be loosing, not only it's science officer but it's medical officer too."

Jim's head snapped to his best friend. "What are you saying, Bones?"

"I'm sayin' that if Spock leaves, I leave." The doctor shook his head, turning away from his patient and best friend. "I love you, Jimbo. You're like a brother to me but I can't keep doing this. I can't keep bringing you back from the dead whenever someone tries to get too close to you." He turned back, now at the foot of the bio-bed and looked at Jim right in the eyes. "I don't know what he saw in your head but, for a moment, when I walked in, you two looked so happy. Your arms were wrapped around him and this, this goofy smile on your face that I've never seen before. Jim, you were happy, happier than I've ever seen you." Dramatically, he walked to the door and said over his shoulder, "Stop kiddin' yourself and go to him before he leaves and your stuck with a whole bunch of what if's."

Jim returned to work the next day. How long could a star ship go on without its captain? He did not want to find that out. What he did find, however, was a nearly deserted ship with a skeleton crew and nothing to do. He sighed and wondered how long he had been in Sick Bay for. Shore Leave was nearly over and he hadn't enjoyed any of it. Spock had tricked him into taking leave and he had, due to a reason Bones was keeping a secret, fallen into a coma and nearly the entire five days had passed. Five days in a coma and he felt… fine, if a little pissed off for having missed leave and confused about the circumstances, which lead to the coma. Otherwise… he was fine. Now where the hell was the turbolift?!

He found it, thanks to a young ensign, and walked onto the bridge, head held high. What little crew was there looked up and smiled at him. He gave each of them a nod and a smile in return, making it clear that he was back to work and everything was fine. He saw himself as a friendly sort-of guy who had spent enough time with each and every one of his crewmembers to know their names and yet, these particular people were strangers to him. His smile faltered for the first time that day. Some had happened to him. He turned to look at Spock, his trusty sidekick, his eyes connecting to the back of a head and not the dark round eyes of the Vulcan.

Still mad, I see, Jim thought as he sat on his chair, loving the way it automatically felt like a second skin. Doctor McCoy's words came back to him; they had vibrated inside his head for hours after the doctor had left his room. He was right, Jim decided at the end. He looked back at Spock and wondered, if I talk, will he turn around and look at me? Maybe if I feign being hurt, he'll offer to take me to sickbay and we can talk on the way. I have to do something, anything. If he won't make the first move then I have to-

"Captain," Spock's clear, curt voice rang out on the bridge, effectively shutting Jim's internal voice up.

"Yes, Mr Spock?"

"I would like to get some work done," the Vulcan replied. Jim waited for him to continue, turning around in his chair to get a good look at the man at his console. His back was straight as an arrow, his broad shoulders tense in a way that made Jim want to go over and – "I cannot do my work with you staring at the back of my head."

"Oh." Jim blushed, turning away from Spock and avoiding his eyes for the rest of their shift together.

During the silence, Jim made a plan. He would ambush Spock after their shift, demand that they speak and clear the air once and for all. Spock, however, had other plans. The moment his shift was done, the Vulcan left the bridge. By the time Jim had turned to dismiss the crew and welcome the next shift, Spock was gone, in his place another senior officer. He cursed at himself for not being quick enough to catch the half-Vulcan as he left the bridge and got set for plan B, which, as he got down to the mess hall.

Another failure, he thought looking around the room and not seeing Spock at their usual spot. He resigned himself to eat by himself, waking to the food generators and punching in his code only to find that his usual serving of old Terran 'fast food' had been replaced by a salad and milk. Odd, he thought, Bones didn't say anything about changing my eating habits… well, not this time at least. He would have to change back the settings from his quarters without anyone looking. He wasn't a bunny, damnit! He needed real people food!

For now, he would have to settle. Jim loaded his tray with his food and turned, scanning the room once more. His eyes snapped to a lone figure in the back, hunching over a PADD and looking mighty agitated. He would have glanced at the man – if he was a man – and deem him unimportant, if it wasn't for the pointy ears at the side of his head. But he knew better. Jim smiled. Gotcha!

Spock had left the bridge the moment his shift was over. He made his way to the mess hall, needing to observe his fellow crewmembers in order to determine the effect the captain's absence had cause on them, Doctor McCoy had asked him for the brief study and Spock, too interested in the results, had obliged. Jim was a social captain, one who prided himself in knowing everyone and being a friend to all.

As illogical as it sounded to Spock, he made for an interesting case subject. Inflated ego, narcissism and stubborn were three key characteristics Spock would use to describe Captain Kirk. The fact that they were not the top three of an infinite list of traits meant nothing - even if the first ten or so were more observations that actual traits. How his hair turned blonde in natural light or how his eyes resembled sapphire stones when light was shown directly at them, for example, made the top of his list but that had no meaning in a study such as this.

For science, he told himself. I must remain objective and-

"Hey, Spock. Mind if I join you?"

Jim could honestly say that what he saw in Spock's features as he sat down without an answer was nothing short of surprise. The look a five year old would get at opening a birthday present and finding the last PADD with software meant to be on Starships. Wide eyes, lips parted and body tense as if about to jump up at any sign of danger.

"So..." Jim started. "How'd you sleep last night?"

Spock's hands left the table, dropping the PADD in his hands with a loud crash. Jim watched, fascinated, as the Vulcan's sat up straight and looked over Jim's shoulder before answering.

"I did not sleep, Captain."

Jim stabbed at his salad with a fork and sighed, ignoring Spock's formality. "Me either. I kept having this horrid dream. Wanna hear about it?"

"I don't think it would be appro-"

"You see..." Jim started, interrupting Spock and leaving no room for complaint. He was using his Captain voice now and god help Spock if he didn't shut up and listen to what he had to say. "It starts with me and you beeping down to this planet, right? It seems perfect in every way. Except that there is this sneaky alien who tries to get me and you to hook up, how odd is that?" Jim asked bringing the fork to his mouth. He watched Spock's eyes follow his movements, stopping at his lips. For the hell of it, Jim quickly finished chewing and licked his lips, a satisfactory smirk on them as Spock followed his tongue. "I think, Spock, that this dream I had tried to tell me something. Wanna know what it told me?"

"Captain, I-"

"My dream ended happily," Jim interrupted. He pointed his fork at Spock. "Wanna know why?" Spock remained still, not moving an inch. Jim smiled, shaking the fork between them and responding to his own question, "we ended up together." He paused, eating another forkful of salad. "How is that a horrid dream, you ask? Well, I'll tell ya, Spock." He leaned in close, pushing his tray aside. "Because it's not real. Not yet anyway."

"I must go, Captain," Spock said quickly, getting up from the table and going towards the door.

"Mr. Spock!" Jim called out loudly, not moving from his sear. The entire room quieted down, everyone stopped eating and turned to the Vulcan and Jim. "I wasn't finished."

"I do not wish to hear the rest of your tale, Captain," Spock replied, not moving another inch. His body stilled, he willed it to move but it would do no such thing. Jim had too much power over him - that was clear now.

"I've yet to dismiss you, commander. Sit down so we can discuss this situation further."

Spock took a deep breath, steadying himself before replying with a clear, "No."