A/N: I own nothing.
As Jasper started his car, my mind was full of anticipation for what was to come. I had never actually been on a road trip before.
I remembered back in college when going on a road trip was the "cool" thing to do. It seemed as if that was the only vacation option for some people. I preferred the solitude of my dorm room. Luckily, we weren't actually forced to leave for breaks.
As we turned out of the apartment complex and hit the road, I looked over at Jasper from the corner of my eye. He seemed so relaxed, a stark contrast to the anticipation I was feeling. It was as if he had done this hundreds of times before. Maybe he had.
"Hey Jasper," I began, not actually sure of what I wanted to say next.
"What's up?"
"Where are we going?" I blurted out. Well, it was as good a question as any. I looked around to see if I recognized any of the stores or landmarks we were passing. I quickly gave up when I remembered that I almost never went anywhere that wasn't the diner.
"Where do you want to go?"
"I told you, I don't really know. I haven't ever been…" I stopped myself before I embarrassed myself even further. Telling Jasper that I haven't been outside of the state before probably wouldn't impress him very much.
"Have you ever been to the beach before?" Jasper asked, glancing at me for a brief moment before returning his eyes to the road.
I decided against lying to him. Even if I wasn't about to come right out and say I've never actually been anywhere, I'd answer his questions truthfully.
"Um, no I haven't."
"Do ya wanna go?" I could see his lips starting to quirk up into a smile.
"Sure I guess, but I don't think there are any good beaches here." I didn't actually know anything about the beaches in Washington, but both the prospect of seeing Jasper shirtless and being shirtless in front of Jasper made me somewhat anxious.
"We're not gonna go to a beach here Eddie." I cringed internally at his use of that nickname. I hated being called Eddie, but I decided I'd let it slide for now.
I looked at him questioningly, and I saw his brow furrow when he looked back at me again.
"Sorry, do you not like being called Eddie?" He asked as he once again returned his attention to his driving. "Edward it is then. I wanted to go to a beach in California, we should be able to get there by tomorrow night. Is that alright with you?"
This man just continued to amaze me. I didn't make a single indication of my dislike for that nickname, but from a quick glance in my direction he was able to pick up exactly what I was feeling. Though I wasn't about to tell him this yet, I would gladly follow him anywhere.
"Sure, that sounds fine." I looked down at my lap, unsure of what to say next. If there was an award for creating the most awkward silences in any given conversation, I would win it hands down.
"Hey Edward, tell me about yourself."
My breathing nearly stopped at his innocent question. My life up to this point truly was the definition of boring. I had no idea what to tell him.
"I… um… well," Great. I couldn't even manage to stammer out a sentence.
"It's alright if you don't wanna talk about it, Edward. We can turn some music on, instead," Jasper said as he reached for the radio control.
"Wait, no it's just… um, can you go first?" I could feel my face turning red now. I was secretly hoping that his life would be just as boring as mine, but I already knew that wasn't the case.
"Well, what do you want to know?"
"What do you do for a living?" I hoped he wasn't planning on returning the question. I didn't really want to tell him that I worked in a diner. I mean, sure he already knew that, but I didn't want to actually come out and say it.
"I don't." He responded simply.
"What?"
"I don't work. When I was a child, my parents were murdered in their sleep by burglars. When I woke up that morning, I found them lying in pools of blood in their bed. I don't really know why they didn't kill me too.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I looked over at Jasper. I was ready to cry from hearing his story, and yet he didn't seem worked up about it at all. Before I could say anything, he continued.
"Once the guys were caught, my family received a large settlement from them. Apparently, one of the robbers was rich and only stole because he was a kleptomaniac. My aunt kept the money until I turned eighteen, at which point she handed it over to me. It's more than enough to sustain me for the rest of my life and then some."
I decided it would be rude to ask him exactly how much he had received, though I was curious.
"I'm sorry about… your parents. Can I ask you something though?"
"Sure."
"Why is it you don't seem upset about your parents?" I immediately regretted asking the question, and hoped that he didn't get too offended.
"It was sixteen years ago, Edward. I've come to terms with what happened. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
I snickered at his quote and he smiled as well.
"What about your parents?" he asked. I sighed at the question. I didn't like thinking about them, even though they had been nothing but caring.
"I haven't talked to them in a few years. We don't keep in contact." I hoped he would leave it at that, but luck was rarely on my side.
"Why's that?"
"I don't really want to talk about it," I murmured.
"That's fine," he replied as he moved to turn the radio on. I was grateful for distraction.
As we drove over the border between Washington and Oregon, I found my thoughts drifting back to what Jasper told me earlier.
I was having trouble understanding how someone who had gone through so much as a child could turn out to be the person that he was today. He seemed so sure of himself; he was confident and content, and seemed to know exactly what he wanted out of life. I wanted to ask him what his plans for the future were, but I didn't want to overstep any boundaries.
I also wondered how the money he received affected him. I would've thought that somewhat with enough money to avoid working would be immensely spoiled. But while Jasper's car was definitely nice, it didn't look overly expensive.
I snuck a look at Jasper and was absolutely astounded by what I saw. With the wind rushing through his blond hair and his vibrant blue eyes fixed on the road in slight concentration, he truly looked like an angel sitting next to me. I almost expected him to sprout wings at any moment.
"See something you like?"
Damn. Apparently the look I had intended to sneak turned out to be a full fledged stare. My face turned red and I turned my head down to stare at my lap.
I heard him chuckle but was too embarrassed to say anything. I leaned against the window planning to feign sleep, but soon enough I had actually fallen asleep.
I woke with a start, momentarily unaware of where I was. I remembered getting into Jasper's car this morning and heading off, but now I was in the car alone. I looked around and saw Jasper outside, leaning against the car while waiting for the gas tank to fill up.
I calmed my breathing and checked the clock. It was already past five; I had no idea why I'd slept that long.
"Sleep well?" Jasper asked as he got back in the car.
"Um, yeah," I responded, still a little bit embarrassed that I had not only fallen asleep, but had slept for something like four hours.
He flashed me his brilliant smile briefly before starting the car and turning to face the road ahead of him.
"Don't you get sleepy when you're driving for this long?" I asked. I had never actually driven for more than half an hour at a time. I didn't understand how someone could do it for this long and not get tired.
"Not really. The scenery keeps me busy enough."
His answer confused me. I couldn't imagine we had passed anything worth looking at yet. "We haven't passed anything that interesting though." I mentally kicked myself for saying that when I remembered that I had been asleep for the majority of the drive so far.
"It doesn't have to be some kind of spectacular view to be beautiful, Edward."
I didn't have a response to his answer, so I turned to look out the window to see if I could find the beauty that Jasper seemed to so easily find.
After five minutes of failing to see anything even remotely fascinating, I settled to getting lost in my own thoughts. Before I knew it, we were pulling up to a hotel.
As Jasper motioned for me to get out of the car, I wondered what the sleeping arrangements for tonight were going to be. Surely he wouldn't expect us to sleep in the same bed. Wow, was I having thoughts like that already?
I followed him inside and quickly realized that this was no ordinary hotel. It was an expensive one. Very expensive. I was pretty sure that the tiles on the ground were actually real gold and not just painted the same color.
"Jasper, isn't this hotel a little pricey?" I asked, my mind once again wandering back to the unasked question of just how much money he had received from that settlement.
He smiled at me but didn't answer my question. I watched as he walked up to the front desk.
"Well hello there Mr. Whitlock! The usual?" The receptionist said as she greeted him.
I think my jaw dropped to the floor. How often did you need to visit a hotel before you had a "usual" room? I wasn't sure I could afford one night here, let alone however many times Jasper had been here.
"Not tonight, Victoria. As you can see," Jasper replied, motioning over to where I was standing, "I have company this time around. Do you have any double suites available?"
"Anything for our best customer!"
Best customer? I didn't even want to think about what that implied. They chatted for a few more minutes before she handed him the room key. I followed him into the elevator with more than a few questions running around in my head.
"How many times have you been here?" I asked.
"I honestly couldn't tell you. I stay here every single time I travel, and I travel a lot."
"Wait, but this is a very upscale hotel. How can you possibly afford to stay here that much?
He looked confused as he answered my question. "I told you I got a lot of money from my settlement didn't I?"
"You did but..." Before I could finish my sentence the elevator door opened. If I had to guess, I would've said we were on the top floor. I followed him down the hall and watched as he went to open the last door at the end.
I thought I heard him murmur "Never seen the presidential suite here before" as he walked in. That couldn't be right though could it? Surely he wouldn't have gotten the most expensive room here.
I walked in and froze. It seemed he would and did get the most expensive room in the hotel.
"How… why… did…" I desperately tried to form a coherent sentence and managed an entire three words. Now I know I didn't do well in college, but come on.
"Edward, I could afford to stay in this room for the rest of my life if I wanted to," he said nonchalantly as he wandered around the room, quietly remarking to himself about one detail or another. "I don't typically splurge when it comes to money, but there's something special about this particular hotel."
I couldn't quite believe what he said, and I decided that I would hold off on asking him what he meant by his last statement.
"Well how much did you pay for tonight?" I asked while pulling my wallet out. I wasn't expecting him to pay for me and despite how expensive this hotel was, I still wanted to pay half the cost.
"You're not paying for anything on this trip," he said without turning to me, as if he somehow knew what I was planning.
"It's not fair for you to shoulder the entire financial burden by yourself, Jasper," I argued. I didn't even want to think about how much this would set me back, but I would've felt too bad just letting him pay for everything.
I was still watching him when he turned around. On his face I saw the saddest smile I'd ever seen. My heart almost broke just looking at him. "I've shouldered far greater burdens than this, Edward." With that, he went into the bathroom and turned the shower on.
I had every intention of asking him exactly what he meant by that but decided that I wouldn't try to push the subject tonight. As it is, that sad smile would probably haunt me in my dreams. I wondered what could have possibly happened to him. I mean, I knew about the incident with his parents, but I couldn't help feeling that something else was the cause of his sadness.
I changed into some comfortable sleeping clothes and headed over to lie down on one of the two gigantic beds. I was still trying to figure out how to start a conversation with Jasper about this when I heard him come out of the bathroom.
I propped myself up on my elbows so I could look at him. I opened my mouth to say something and was immediately stopped by the sight of Jasper coming out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel wrapped low around his waist.
He was easily the most gorgeous man I had ever seen in my life, and I figured I watched enough TV to be able to make that claim. His hair was still dripping as it clung to his forehead and just barely covered his eyes. His body looked like it should have been immortalized in paintings and statues and the like.
He was my definition of perfect. He obviously worked out but clearly didn't overdo it. I wondered if he knew just how good he looked. He was confident but not cocky, the way I imagined someone who looked like him would have been.
I tried turning my head away unsuccessfully and just settled for praying that he wouldn't notice me staring this time. Fortunately, he seemed preoccupied as he grabbed some clothes from his bag and went back into the bathroom to put them on.
I flattened myself out on the bed and tried to calm myself down before he came out. Just as I did, Jasper came out of the bathroom and stood next to the bed a few feet away from mine.
"Don't you want to take a shower?" he asked, removing the sheets from his bed so he could get in.
"No, I'll wait until tomorrow morning," I told him. I didn't want to get out of bed at all right now. I was incredibly tired despite my nap in the car earlier.
He chuckled and I asked him what he found so funny. "Nothing, I just knew you were going to say that."
I still didn't understand why that was funny but decided that I had more than enough on my mind already.
I was lost in my own thoughts when I heard Jasper say, "Hey Edward, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why did you agree to come with me on this trip?"
I thought for a moment. I didn't really know the answer to that myself. I decided not to over think it and to just tell him the first thing that came to mind.
"I don't really know. You seem to know everything about me and I guess I just felt like coming with you would be good for me, that's all."
"Okay then, what do you hope to accomplish on this trip?"
He seemed to be prying for something; looking for some piece of information that I hadn't given him. I decided to play along for now. I didn't really have much to hide.
"Again, I don't really know. Maybe this will help me change for the better."
"Are you not content with your life right now? What do you want to change?"
His questions were starting to annoy me now. Not because he was asking them, but because they were making me think about my failure of a life.
I heard the faint sound of rain hitting the window. I turned my head and saw that it was indeed raining. I remembered Jasper telling me that rain was a symbol for change and realized that I had just told him that I had come on this trip in the hopes that it would help me change. I wondered briefly if this was some sort of sign but brushed it off.
I must have gotten distracted for quite a while because I heard Jasper clear his throat, reminding me of his question. I didn't want to deal with these questions right now.
"I don't know." I didn't believe for a second that he'd buy that as an answer, but I hoped that he would take it as an indication that I didn't want to talk anymore.
"Come on Edward, tell me," he implored.
I was a rather patient person, but I couldn't handle any more of this. I snapped.
"What do you fucking want me to tell you? That I hate my life? That I don't feel like I'm really even alive, that I just exist from day to day? That I'm a complete failure? If that's what you fucking want then there!"
Tears had started forming in my eyes while I was ranting but it wasn't until I had finished that I started sobbing uncontrollably. I hadn't noticed him move, but the next thing I knew, Jasper was sitting in my bed holding me tight against him. He cradled me in his arms until I calmed down.
"I… I want to live life the way you do," I managed to whisper into his chest. It was the truth.
I was drifting off quickly, comfortable in Jasper's arms. I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard him say "If you only knew." I wasn't even sure he had meant for me to hear that.
I was going to ask him about it but the comfort of him being so close to me was too much for me to handle. I fell asleep to the faint sound of the rain outside and the soft sound of Jasper breathing next to me.