The Importance of Being Family

PG (occasional language)

So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They do have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two.

Beta: Random Flyer did a wonderful job editing this chapter, thank you very much!

Chapter 6: Frail, pt. 2—Iruka's still vying for Konoha's good Samaritan award.

"I have been here over a week. I'm fine. I'm not going to keel over and pass out the moment I leave the hospital." Kakashi tried very hard to sound even tempered and reasonable as he didn't argue with the matronly medic-nin fussing with his charts at the foot of the bed.

He was rewarded for his efforts by impatient "tskk-ing" noises. They seemed quite out of place when accompanied by the background sound of Naruto animatedly supplying sound effects as he re-enacted a key battle of the Second Shinobi War that he'd learned about at the academy recently.

"I don't think so, Hatake-san." The homely woman said with false cheer as she patted the leg which currently lacked a cast.

Kakashi tried again, appealing to logic, "All that's left is for the bone to heal, that's just a waiting game—"

"Exactly, it's a waiting game. I know ninja, you'll 'wait' much better right here."

The peppy tone cut through Kakashi's words and Kakashi could feel a nervous twitch beginning to develop in his good eye as the soundtrack of his life was punctuated by a particularly loud "And they were like BLAM! SURPRISED!" and a "SHH! Not so loud Naruto-kun…"

Kakashi sighed, much more of this and he'd be reduced to begging. He caught the woman's wrist as she moved to check his IV. He'd have to use that look. Women loved that look. He carefully arranged his face and made sure to meet the woman's eyes. " Please—"

"Oh no, Hatake-san, I'm much too old for those puppy dog-eyes to work on me."

The copy ninja felt slightly miffed as the woman patted his hair indulgently before continuing her lecture.

"Now, I'm sorry, I'm well aware of how you feel about hospitals, but it's my job to look out for your best interests. Can you honestly tell me that you aren't going to sneak off and try your own rehabilitation methods once you step outside these doors? I'd give it one day before you decide you know what's best for your leg and then on your next mission you'll break it again and be right back here for an even longer term."

She hmm-d slightly as she moved back to the end of the bed and made some notes to the charts before continuing with the rehearsed speech that Kakashi had been treated to every time he'd asked to leave for the past week and a half. "Trust me, what's best for everyone is that you have supervision to hold you accountable to the therapy regimen—"

"Excuse me…"

The medic blinked in surprise and stopped mid speech. "Yes…ummm," she hesitated slightly, as if uncertain how to proceed now that she'd been thrown off rote.

"Iruka Umino, ma'm." Iruka's polite introduction didn't prompt the medical authority to continue, so he boldly inserted himself into the conversation. "I just—if he had someone to watch him at his apartment and keep him from training, would you let him go home?"

She eyed him dubiously. "Don't you teach at the academy during the day?"

"Well, yes," Iruka responded, "But it won't be any problem for Kakashi-san to join me during the day when I teach. I have one of the youngest classes and we're only doing basic conditioning right now, really the most stressful thing he could encounter is the kids hitting him with dull practice weapons."

The woman didn't look convinced. "Are you teaching them jutsu at all yet?"

"No!" Interrupted Naruto with a pout and a scowl.

Iruka shook his head, "We're working on basic chakra control exercises, they haven't even moved past meditation yet."

Pursed lips parted with a reluctant response, "Well, I suppose…if you promised to monitor him…"

Kakashi felt his spirits lift in faint, tentative hope.

"But you'd have to watch him like a hawk, the nurses have already caught him trying to sneak out several times this week." The woman emphatically gestured toward Kakashi with her clipboard. "No matter how much he whines, I don't want him doing anything other than mild exercises until he's been cleared for moderate duty."

Kakashi tried to appear slightly sheepish regarding the mentioned escape attempts, but really, he was more embarrassed over the fact that he'd been caught rather than the attempts themselves. He blinked as the woman's finger suddenly appeared far too close to his face, wagging viciously.

"And that's moderate duty Hatake-san, you won't be back to regular duty for at least another month—"

"Ah, I think I can handle it."

Kakashi had never been more grateful for one of Iruka's apologetic sounding interruptions. He leaned back against his pillows with relief as Iruka's calm demeanor soothed the threatening medic.

"After all, I have a lot of experience handling whiny ninja."

Hey now! Kakashi blinked, recognizing that he should be offended by the statement just a tad too late.

"Hatake-san, would you agree to Umino-san's supervision and follow his orders as long as this allowed you to be home?"

Interrupted in the midst of his indignation, Kakashi let out a flustered mix of words along the lines of "I am an adult—don't talk…like I'm a child, right here!" which ended with a groan and a "yes, fine" as he flopped back on his pillows.

"I'll go get the paperwork then," said the woman in a huffy tone, flouncing from the room with her clipboard clenched tightly in hands.

An hour later found Kakashi creeping along the streets of Konoha at a snail's pace, headed toward the safety of his apartment with his strange yet familiar entourage.

"And then Sasuke said "you're a moron!" and I was all like "nuh-uh, you are, you stupid head!" and then Shikamaru-kun started moaning and I—"

"Naruto-kun, why don't you run ahead and open the door—make sure all your toys are off the floor too, so Kakashi-san doesn't trip on them ok?"

"Ok!"

And like a yellow flash, he's gone! Kakashi chuckled at his own joke, drawing an odd look from his chūnin companion as they enjoyed the now quieter stroll…er—hobble, really, even though Kakashi thought he was quite graceful for someone bound to crutches.

As they approached the building Kakashi had long called home, the jounin gave a half-hearted nod of acknowledgment to the other man. "I appreciate the gesture."

"What?" Iruka started, apparently lost in his own thoughts.

"Speaking up." Kakashi raised one eyebrow when he was still met with a blank gaze. "To get me home, back there at the hospital."

"Oh," Iruka cleared his voice as they headed toward the back of the building. "That…well, you were obviously uncomfortable there…"

"Ahh." Kakashi readjusted the crutches as he eyed the back porch speculatively.

A few moments of silence passed before Iruka hesitantly asked, "Can you handle the stairs?"

"Slowly." Kakashi moved to tackle the first step as Iruka followed behind.

Thirty minutes later, Kakashi settled gently onto his couch, ignoring Naruto's whines about how he'd been taking forever, could have cooked five bowls of ramen by now, and some other under the breath mutterings which Kakashi chose to ignore as he was fairly certain one of the phrases contained the words "old geezer."

"I'll be fine now." He ran a hand through his hair and stretched his long arms along the back of the couch. Naruto curled into a ball against his ribs, blinking up at him with large blue eyes.

Kakashi blinked back. "You have dirt on your nose," he observed.

Trying to get the kid to hold still while he wiped the brat's face, he only half-heard Iruka saying something about making lunch. Naruto escaped with a howl, before having a mid-flee epiphany and running back into the living room. Grabbing a stack of papers from under the table, he clambered back onto the couch, preventing Kakashi from preventing Iruka from taking over his kitchen.

"You really don't have to make lunch—"

"It's not a problem!"

"Look," Kakashi grunted and bit back a hiss of pain as Naruto decided that Kakashi's lap made a better seat than the couch.

"Iruka only let me bring ten of my pictures to the hospital, but here are all the other ones I made for you, see, this is Chougi and he's eating chips, and this Sakura—her hair is pink!—and that is Chougi eating Kiba's lunch, and that is Kiba giving Akamaru Chougi's chips, and that is Shikarmaru but I only have one picture of him because he never does anything else and…"

Overwhelmed, Kakashi could just nod until Naruto ran out of air and had to stop and inhale. Then, with a high-pitched cry of "Food, finally!" Kakashi was abandoned for more rewarding endeavors.

When Iruka came to retrieve the dishes Kakashi used for lunch, Kakashi woke from his light doze and rose awkwardly to his feet, intending to see the younger man to the door. "Ah, thank you, Iruka-san. I really will be fine, you can leave now." Kakashi strove to look confident and stern, and was slightly puzzled when the chūnin's response was a roll of the eyes.

"I'm not stupid Hatake-san. And you can't bully me away."

Kakashi opened his mouth to protest, but was cut short.

"However, I do have some errands to run. Naruto-kun, come here, I want you to take this."

The academy teacher knelt to the floor and tied a simple, dull braided bracelet around the child's wrist.

"What is it?"

Kakashi scowled at the scene. Seriously, he was old enough not to be babysat in such a manner. It wasn't like he planned on running laps round Konoha the moment that Iruka left the house.

Iruka ignored the sulking jounin and continued his conversation with his student. "It's a summoning bracelet."

"A what?"

"Well, it's a very weak version of one, but if you cut it with your kunai, I'll feel mine warm up. So, if Kakashi-san needs something, I want you to cut it and I'll come over right away, ok?"

Naruto nodded to his teacher's smile.

"This really isn't necessary," Kakashi mumbled. At the most, he was planning on some push-ups and some upper body therapy.

Iruka shot him a suspicious gaze and Kakashi was grateful for the mask which hopefully dampened the undignified glower that he was leveling at his house guest.

"Naruto…I need you to trust your own judgment on that ok? Do you know what that means?"

Naruto shook his head in the negative and Iruka tapped him gently.

"It means that even if Kakashi-san tells you he doesn't need me, but you think he does, you break that bracelet. Especially if Kakashi-san tries to leave here."

"Look, this is really thoughtful, but I'm not on house-arrest—"

"But why?" Naruto's curious voice was almost smothered as Kakashi tried to push Iruka toward the door and Naruto further into the apartment at the same time.

"Iruka-san's just being a little over-protective, he really doesn't need to be bothered with little things…"

Iruka dodged Kakashi's hand and knelt down, tilting Naruto's head so that he focused on meeting Iruka's eyes.

"I won't be bothered," assured the child's teacher. "But I will be…" Iruka stopped, struggling for the right word, "I'll be disappointed if you don't notify me."

Well, shit. Kakashi had to hand it to the chūnin, the man knew how to throw a verbal punch. Naruto's eyes went impossibly wide at the mention of disappointing Iruka.

Now that the teacher had the child's undivided attention, he reinforced his orders with sound reasoning. "As to why, well, you see, he's a bit sick right now..."

Kakashi stuttered a protest of being fine, but Naruto didn't look like he was buying it. Traitor.

"… and when you're sick, you don't always think as well or make as good decisions as you do when you are healthy. But you are healthy, so I need you to look out for him, and even if he tells you someone told him he could leave, or someone told him he could do the big-Ninja stuff he normally does, I want you to know that you should get me anyway, ok?"

"I'm right here." Kakashi started to wave his arms, realized how juvenile his behavior was becoming, and instead retreated to the couch with a resigned huff.

"After all, we all want Hatake-san to get better as fast as possible right?"

"Right!" Naruto crowed his agreement and cheerfully yelled farewell to the chūnin.

The door closed and Kakashi sank further into the couch cushions. The blond brat turned to face him, and they each regarded their opponent wearily.

Suddenly, Naruto's face split into a rather feral grin.

"It's just you an' me now Kashi-ni-san, what should we do?"

"Well," Kakashi said, mentally weighing his options and deciding to test the waters, "I could always show you a new chakra exercise…" A few hours of trying to slice a leaf and the kid would be out like a light.

Naruto frowned, "I don't think you're supposed 'ter be doing that…" He put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "I know, let's play doctor!" Naruto jumped up and ran toward the bathroom.

"We just left the doctor, I don't need a doctor, Naruto." Kakashi sighed and propped his foot up on the couch.

"Its pretend Ni-san, it's a good game, trust me."

Kakashi lay down fully on the couch, fluffing a pillow behind his head. "What if I don't like that game?"

"Well…sucks to be you, you're kind of stuck aren't you?"

Huh, Kakashi thought, that was unusually bold of the brat. He opened his good eye and narrowed it in a warning. "Naruto…"

"You could always get me a puppy."

The boy's cheeky suggestion almost made Kakashi laugh, until he tried to envision life in a one-room apartment with both Naruto and an untrained nin-puppy.

"…no."

Kakashi resigned himself to the brat's torturous plans as he felt small hands tugging at his arm.

"Oh no, Ninja-san, you were ambushed by Iwa-nin and broke your arm? That's ok, I can fix it!"

Kakashi made a mental note to guilt Iruka into buying more toilet paper. Kakashi wasn't sure there was going to be much left after Naruto finished the "cast" on his arm.