3
Sarah POV
"I'll be packing, Professor." I said softly, stepping past my parents and walking upstairs. Now that I had been 'awakened' from my previous state, I could see just how messy my room was. I packed hurriedly though, haunted by what I'd done in this room, wanting out. Now that I was thinking clearly, I compared what had happened to me to the Imperious Curse. Bellatrix's possession had been slow and careful, so careful, in fact, I hadn't even noticed it. Trying to stick to what I liked, school, friends, I tried to think of anything to take my mind off of what had just happened. The last thing I did was rip a rectangle off my sheet and tie it hastily around my wrist, unable to look at the mark any longer. Then I carried my trunk and Joe downstairs. Moody was talking quietly with my parents, and he looked troubled, whereas my parents were stunned.
"Ready to go then, eh? Excellent. Come along then," Moody said, suddenly business like, urging me out. I didn't bother to say goodbye to my parents, instead, I let Moody shrink my luggage, then hand me a slip of paper. "Read it, memorize it, never tell it to another living soul. Got it?" Moody growled. I scanned the slip of paper. It was an address for a Grimmauld Place. "Good." He plucked it from my fingers and burned it on the sidewalk, then Apparated us away. We appeared on a dark, dingy street, and as I looked up, I saw the address I had just read appear out of two buildings. Before I could ask, Moody ushered me inside. I blinked. The place was dark and slightly musty, with dingy lights trying to take away from the gloom. Waiting by the door was Professor Lupin, who looked a lot worse than the last time I'd seen him. He looked much thinner, and his clothes were even shabbier than ever. The last time we'd seen each other was at King's Cross, and that felt like a lifetime ago.
"Sarah!" He exclaimed in surprise, taking me in, even as Moody pushed me further down the hall as he came in.
"Hello, Professor," I said softly. Before I got another word out, Moody was urging me down the hall into an open, stone kitchen. It was full of Order members, some that I recognized, some that I didn't. As Moody's loud clunking leg announced our arrival, the sound died instantly.
"Is Dumbledore here yet?" Moody asked, and he sounded surprisingly strained.
"He's coming." A short, plump woman said, looking me up and down, looking horror struck, which only confused me. Moody had looked troubled, and now sounded strained, when he never lost his gruff manner. Lupin had been shocked to see me, and now this?
"Sit," Moody insisted, pushing me to a chair and into it. "You lot, come on," he barked, and most of the members left, Tonks giving me a quick hello on her way out, her face somewhere between pity and sadness, which turned my confusion into fear.
"Can I get you anything?" A voice made me jump. I hadn't realized that someone was still in the room. In fact, I hadn't even noticed him, Sirius Black, lounging against the kitchen counter, his eyes tight as he looked at me. He looked furious. "You should have something," he said, almost muttering to himself, Summoning a kettle and a mug and pouring me a cup of tea.
"What's wrong?" I asked, and he looked at me sharply before looking even more miserable than before.
"No offense, but you look like hell. It's sickening that I let happen what happened to you." Sirius said through clenched teeth, standing stiffly behind the chair opposite me. I opened my mouth to speak, but Sirius kept going, looking slightly tortured. "I was dueling her, and I let her get to me. If I had kept her at bay…," he ended his sentence with a hopeless gesture towards my left wrist.
"Mr. B-Black, Sirius," I quickly amended, seeing a change in his expression, "you can't accept responsibility for this. The only one responsible is…is her." I stammered, wrapping my hands around the tea, even though I felt too queasy to drink it as I thought about Bellatrix, and, more importantly, the dreams I'd seen, which were even fuzzier now that I as mostly myself again.
"But the price you've paid…it's…wrong." Sirius struggled for the right words, and I looked at him, only confused, when someone knocked on the doorframe to the kitchen. It was Professor Lupin, with the same look on his face as Sirius, which made my heart beat faster. What did they see in me now that I hadn't seen?
"Dumbledore is here," Lupin said after a moment, and I stood up, taking the tea when Sirius insisted, following Lupin up two flights of stairs and into what looked like a very old office. As soon as I stepped over the threshold it was as if a great weight had been lifted off of me. Dumbledore had been seated in an armchair, but stood up as Lupin gently ushered me in and closed the door. Dumbledore looked furious, his eyes burning in his face.
"Hello, P-Professor," I said, and his face almost got darker, and he made motions for me to sit, so I did, taking a sip of the tea. Its heat made me feel even better.
"Sarah, something very grave has happened to you," Dumbledore said finally, sounding very controlled. "Both Harry, Ms. Granger, the Weasley family, and Moody have written to me this summer, expressing concern about you, however, I did not receive a single word from you. And now I see why."
"Professor- I'm not exactly sure what h-happened. But I can tell you what I can." I offered, and Dumbledore motioned with his hand for me to continue. "I started having d-dreams, sir. About Bellatrix, about what she does from day to day. I feel better whenever I'm with good company, especially you. I was alone for so long, and…I didn't even notice I'd changed until this afternoon. I went to class and I was partnered with someone. He said something to me, and I nearly killed him. I used magic I d-didn't know existed. It's like I was her." I quickly looked back at my tea, unable to stand the look on Dumbledore's face. I could have sworn that there was a slight dampness to his eyes, but I must have imagined it, for when I looked at him again, it was gone.
"And can you tell me what you've seen in these dreams?" Dumbledore asked gently, and I looked back at the tea, trying to think. Everything seemed so disconnected and far away.
I felt my eyes close as I racked my brains, trying to remember even what dream came first. A spark of anger ignited in me when I was remembering things that I should have known instantly- Bellatrix had destroyed my last sacred place- my head.
"The first dream was of two women. Bellatrix, well, me, was referred to as 'Bella' by someone I called 'Cissy.' The woman was scared and sad that her son was going to become a Death Eater." I opened my eyes to find Dumbledore looking at me strangely. He hid the look quickly though, leaning forward slightly, pressing his fingertips together.
"The second dream was just me, I mean, her, laughing. She was happy, this person 'Cissy' was so worried about was a Death Eater. She was confident that this new Death Eater would ensure that a plan to kill you and Harry would succeed this year, and that I would help in that." My voice shook as I said the word 'kill', and I grasped the tea tighter, afraid to look up and see Dumbledore again. I couldn't ever picture him not in this world, nor could I ever cope with Harry being murdered. "My final dream was of the woman 'Cissy' on a street called Spinner's End. She was going to see someone that Bellatrix thought she couldn't trust. The door of the house they went to was opening when my mother's voice woke me up." I said, and I noticed that Dumbledore had stiffened slightly, but I didn't know what to think of it, so I ignored it.
"So you did not see who lived at Spinner's End?" He asked, and I shook my head at the tea. "Sarah, Moody talked to your parents and then briefed me and the members of the Order as to what's been going on, and I think I can think of something that may help." He said, and I looked back up, slightly ashamed. My parents probably raved to Moody about what had been happening in my sleep- and for everyone to know that was embarrassing. "It seems that when you sleep, and when Bellatrix sleeps, your minds tend to fall into each other's, producing those dreams. Unfortunately, she might have seen things you were doing, but now that you are 'in good company', I doubt she can see you." He said, seeing my alarm. If she ever knew about Grimmauld Place… "However, if you closed your mind before you went to sleep, it'd be harder for her actions to translate into your dreams."
"You mean Occlumens." I whispered, my stomach twisting at the thought, and Dumbledore nodded. "I-I don't think I could do it, sir."
"I wish for you to at least try, Sarah. I cannot allow what happened to you this summer to happen again. The effect on you is far too detrimental." Dumbledore said lightly, but there was a hardness to his words that reminded me of the fact that everyone seemed to think that something was wrong with me.
"I'll try. But if I have anymore dreams, should I tell you of them?" I asked, and Dumbledore seemed to hesitate.
"If you are comfortable, then yes." Was his answer, and he stood up and kept talking before I could question him on it. "Now, I think the best place for you would be at the Burrow, Mr. Weasley's house. They can get you to Hogwarts, and I daresay that your friends are most anxious to speak with you." He lightly put a hand on my back, gently guiding me out and back down the steps. "May I?" he asked, his hand lightly taking my left, and I then noticed his hand was blackened and brittle, as if it was burned and now dead. I hesitated. The last time he had seen it, he was trying to remove it, and I had instantly lost myself to Bellatrix.
"Yes," I forced out, and he lightly undid the section of sheet, handing it to me, then cautiously turning my left hand over. His gaze fell upon the skull and I felt my whole body tense as the mark began to burn, but I tried not to flinch, seeing as Dumbledore looked very curious. His finger brushed it, and in a knee jerk reaction, I gasped and pulled my hand away, my hand curling into a fist. It was as if Bellatrix knew who was near me; the mark burned with anger she probably felt towards Dumbledore.
"I'm sorry," Dumbledore apologized, a strange tone to his voice, and he straightened, leaving me slightly dazed as the pain died away. Order members were standing silently against the walls and in doorways, watching us with furious eyes, and I knew the anger wasn't directed at either of us, but to the still burning mark on my skin. My fist slowly uncurled as the burning diminished further. "Here," Dumbledore plucked the sheet out of my fingers and tied it securely back around my wrist. Before I could react, he hand was to my back again, lightly leading me over to Professor Lupin, who was standing next to his friend, Sirius. Both of their expressions made me wonder once again why everyone was seeing something in me. "Remus will take you to the Burrow. I must return to Hogwarts. If you need to speak to me for any reason, do not hesitate to come to me. I will notify you when I want you to start Occlumency." He spoke quickly now, backing away, seeing the pain in my face no matter how hard I tried to hide it. Then he turned and strode away, out the door, and I heard him Disapparate before the door had swung shut. He was gone, and the new flare up was dying, but the weight was back on my shoulders now that he was farther away.
"Are you feeling alright? I'll take you tomorrow if you need to rest." Lupin sounded worried, making me come back to the moment, looking away from his chest region, frozen in thought, and up at his face. I could feel myself trembling again, which was probably what was worrying him. I shook my head.
"I can leave now," I said very quietly, even though I probably should have rested. "Goodbye," I almost whispered when Sirius suddenly shook my hand firmly.
"Take care," he spit out, his face aflame with anger again, and I turned away when Lupin guided me. He took my shrunken luggage from Moody, steering me out the door.
"Steady," Lupin said, and then we Apparated. I was now standing almost in a field, a very lopsided and obviously magical house yards away.
"Are you ok, Professor?" I asked, noticing how he looked even worse outside. I looked up and realized it was almost a full moon, no wonder. He blinked, looking surprised.
"Don't worry about me, Sarah." He said, an odd tone to his voice as he led me to the door and knocked before I could say anything else.
"Who's there? Declare yourself!" A voice demanded with slight nervousness, but I recognized the voice as Mrs. Weasley.
"It is I, Remus, bringing Sarah." Lupin said, and the door swung open instantly. Mrs. Weasley was drying her hands on an apron, and she started at the sight of me, and I almost flinched before she ushered us in.
"You gave me such a fright, Remus, we didn't expect- oh dear, Sarah, you look in a right state, oh for Merlin's sake," She said nervously, bidding me to sit. "Will you stay for something, Remus? We just finished dinner, everyone's upstairs."
"I'm afraid I can't." Lupin said with a hint of a smile, but his face still looked tight, despite his aura of calm. "Molly, Sarah, goodnight." He left, shutting the door quietly behind him.
"Now dear, here, eat. You'll feel better," she urged, waving her wand and in no time giving me a steaming bowl of onion soup. I sipped it slowly, even more exhausted than before. My stomach was still in knots over my talk with Dumbledore. "That's alright, you go on upstairs now, all the way to the top." Mrs. Weasley said, seeing that I had stopped eating with half the soup left. She was wringing her hands, avoiding my gaze.
"Thank you," I said softly before getting up and following her instructions, all the way up the stairs. The door I stopped at had a small plaque that said: 'Ronald's Room'. 'Blimey, I'm tired,' I heard Ron say, and I felt a twitch of a smile on my face as I opened the door and slipped inside.