8

Sarah POV

I woke up in the Hospital Wing, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't panicking, depressed, or waking from a dream. Someone had taken off my glasses, so the place was fuzzy and a little too bright. "I can tell already that you feel better." Dumbledore's voice made me start, and I snatched my glasses off the side table, pushing them up my nose, then batting hair that had come out of my braid out of my face, annoyed. Dumbledore was sitting in one of his squishy chairs, pressing his fingers together with a doleful smile.

"I do," I said, curling a long lock of hair away behind my ear. I hesitated, unsure what to say next, and if I could actually say it. Dumbledore smiled in understanding. "You're here to finish what we started yesterday." I chose my words carefully.

"I am. I must insist that we finish our conversation, and that you make an Unbreakable Vow. The entire future is resting on what I explained to yesterday. You cannot be tempted or, regrettably, forced, to divulge what we discussed." Dumbledore said gently, but I understood the weight that came with his words.

"Where would you like to start?" I asked, glancing at a window. The sun was just rising, but the light was on next to me, explaining the brightness. Dumbledore chuckled.

"I believe we were speaking of Mr. Malfoy before we were…interrupted. I can see your reluctance already." Dumbledore added when he saw me scowl.

"I don't think he can be helped, Professor. Even if he does abandon his quest, it would only be out of cowardice, not because he'd have a change of heart. Besides, I wouldn't be able to stand being near him." I made my point, even though Dumbledore was smiling.

"I believe I have an answer to that problem that spans to cover others." Dumbledore reached into his cloak and pulled out a long gold chain, and on it, was one beautiful vial full of what I thought was ashes. Seconds later, it formed into one brilliant red feather. Then it repeated it again, and I knew instantly what it was- a phoenix feather. "This is a phoenix feather from Fawkes. I feel it will raise your spirits and your strength for the times ahead." Dumbledore handed it to me, and I slowly took it, then felt my eyes go wide when I slipped it around my neck. All of the weight and weariness, all of the despair and anger vanished and I felt a real, true smile stretch across my face, an actual grin.

"Sir…" I started, but was at a total loss for words. What he'd given me- I couldn't imagine how I'd pay him back for it. I felt like he'd given me my life back. "I-thank you." I stuttered, quickly slipping it out of sight, behind my shirt.

"Now that you feel better, we must at least negotiate the terms of the Vow." Dumbledore said firmly. "You must not disclose Snape's position to anyone until he gives you permission to do so or he dies." He said, offering his hand. I gave him mine, with it being steady for once, and the glowing bonds sealed then dissipated. "You will not tell anyone of my plan unless the time is right. It will let you when it's time." He added, seeing my confusion. I hesitated. When he died, and I couldn't bear to think of that now, things would fall apart quickly, and everyone would be desperate for answers. If Voldemort got even more power- I would need to speak up. "This magic will not fail you, no matter what the future holds." Dumbledore said calmly, as if he knew what I was thinking. Not needing any further pressure, I took his hand again, and we sealed that deal. After, Dumbledore seemed a lot more relaxed. "Sarah…please, at least consider trying to sway Mr. Malfoy. It might do both of you good." He said mysteriously, standing up. "Also, Professor Snape will be expecting you for Occlumency this evening." He gave me a wink and a smile and then strode away. Halfway down the ward, the doors opened and Hermione, Ron and Harry came through, waited for Dumbledore to pass, then almost ran down the ward, skidding to a stop in front of my bed, looking surprised to see me smiling.

"Hey, guys," I said cheerfully, swinging out of bed and jamming my feet into my shoes.

"But-I-what-how-you look so much better," Ron, looking desperately confused, tried to express about four thoughts at once and failed miserably, making me laugh. The noise made them look even more shocked.

"I've got a lot to tell you," I said, hooking arms with Hermione, who still looked stunned, and leading them back up the ward. I had to downscale everything, choosing my words carefully, but my friends didn't seem to notice. They were still baffled by my change in appearance and mood. All I told them was that I had been by Snape too long and I had been very tired, leading Bellatrix to mentally attack me, which led nicely into throwing in that I had Occlumency lessons with Snape now. That didn't go over quite as well, (with Harry, anyway) but they were more interested in the phoenix feather Dumbledore had given me. Once in the hallways, its power diminished some, I started to feel dark presences again, but it wasn't overpowering, and it took more of it to make me feel even the slightest bit ill. I told them nothing about my chat with Dumbledore, Snape, or Malfoy, which was the hardest part. I was still mulling over what Dumbledore had said: "It might do both of you good." What did that mean? We arrived at Gryffindor Tower and I freshened up hastily, braiding my hair with magic to save time, and seizing what ever parts of my uniform were clean and easily accessible. The feather continued to work it's magic, even when I finally had my first full day of classes and found out about all the work I'd already missed- I didn't feel bogged down or hopeless at all. It was wonderful. Best of all- the looks on everyone's faces. I found it hilarious, that I had messed people up that much.

But I didn't see a trace of Malfoy, not even in Defense Against the Dark Arts, where I actually participated in the non-verbal blocking and casting of spells. The look on Snape's face was priceless, even comical. However, my high faded after dinner, when I said goodbye to Harry, Ron and Hermione and set off alone in the dark castle for Snape's office. I knocked, and the curt, "Come in," was not encouraging. Only when the door closed behind me did Snape look up. The mark flared, as usual, but the undeniable urge to grab it and collapse into misery didn't come, and I was even more thankful for the feather around my neck. He went back to what he was doing.

"Good evening, Professor." I said politely, but without a speck of emotion.

"Sit," He flicked his wand and a chair appeared in front of his desk, black and ramrod straight. Only when I was seated did he continue, not looking at me for a second. "What do you know of Occlumency, Ms. Wimkil?" He asked in almost a bored tone of voice.

"It's the process of fortifying your mind against any kind of vulnerability." I said tonelessly, starting to feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. Snape's office, although no longer in the dungeons, was very cold and barren- full of dark presences. I still doubted Snape a little- and the atmosphere wasn't helping me think of him in a better light.

"Very well. I will try to enter your mind- and it is your job to try and block that attack. Once you have kept the attack at bay, you must disarm the attacker. A simple Shield Charm will do. Stand," he said, and I did. He Vanished the chair, and I backed up slightly as he raised his wand. Now I realized why Harry hated these lessons so much- I was already uncomfortable. "Ready," Snape said tonelessly, then cried, "Legilimens!" I frantically threw up my idea of a mental shield- an image of the thing in front of me at eye level- one of Snape's creepy pickled creatures, and tried to keep that in front of everything else in my head. It worked- for awhile. Then the strain of keeping Snape away and my concentration faltered as I started to feel worse and worse- as if the feather wasn't working under stress. Seconds later, he made it through.

"We will cast out the devil!" My father was bellowing, spit flying from his mouth, a firm grip on my elbow. I was eleven, and he was dragging me across the kitchen, my mom following and looking on- but doing nothing.

"Father- I'm not possessed- it's just a letter!" I cried, but he just snorted like an angry bull, kicking open the door to the basement.

"This is a sign of your compact with the Devil! We will release your spirit to God!" He roared, and I twisted out of his grasp. I made a move for it across the kitchen, but he seized my long braid and yanked, making me shriek. "You have written in his book! You do is work in the dead of night!" With an awkward sort of toss, he made to pitch me down the stairs. I seemed to slide forever, my spine aching with each stair it hit, until I did an awkward somersault and crashed into the shelving at the bottom. Old afghans and baskets fell off it, coating me with a shower of dust as Father slammed the door shut above, and the click of the lock was heard. "Call the Minister, woman!" I heard him bellow, and then silence fell. After I dug myself out of the mess, I pulled out the crumpled and mysterious letter I'd gotten in the mail- an invitation to a strange school called Hogwarts…

I was sitting on my heels on a cold stone floor, weeping into my hands. My wand was rolling across the floor, but then stopped when it hit something. My absolute worst memory- the one that made me cry at night- on full display for Snape to see. If Professor McGonagall hadn't showed up a day later…who knows what would have happened to me. I barely noticed when two hands picked me up by the forearms and sat me in a chair. After a minute or two, I finally controlled myself and sat up, hastily wiping under my eyes. Snape was observing me with a strange expression, which suddenly filled me with anger. That was none of his business- no one had ever seen that. "What happened?" Snape asked, and I never thought I'd ever hear that from him. I fixed my jaw, looking determinedly past him.

"My Father hired a Minister for an exorcism. Professor McGonagall arrived before the Minister." I said shortly, getting up and fetching my wand. Snape being able to see that only motivated me to try harder- to keep resilient and strong. He would never see anything that personal ever again- I'd make sure of that. "Again," I said lowly, Vanishing my chair. Snape rose, looking uncertain, but raised his wand nonetheless. To my dismay, Snape made it in within seconds.

Frantic, I turned on the spot, Apparating to behind Bellatrix. A spell whipped through the spot where I'd been and exploded a bench yards away. I was dueling for my life against her now- the 'play time' was over. She whirled around, a feral smile on her face, spells erupting from her wand. "Protego!" I bellowed, whipping my wand forward, and thanks to my verbal casting, a huge and strong shield charm that kept me safe, for the moment, appeared. Then I started firing jinxes and hexes left and right, trying and failing to hold ground as Bellatrix got closer and closer. My hip was aching from where I'd splinched, my ribs on fire from Flint's kick, and my braid was starting to unravel. My foot slipped on some of the broken stones on the dais, making me fall.

"Give me the prophecy and I just might let you live!" She called, laughing as I rolled frantically to the side, then desperately blocked four spells from her in a quick succession, trying to get up. Panting too hard to reply, I just shook my head with a glare, and her face got ugly fast. "IMPEDIMENTA!" She shrieked, throwing her arm out for more power. The spell was so strong; it collapsed my shield charm easily and blasted me off my feet, across the dais and to the other side of the arch. I heard something crack in my ribs and uncomfortable heat spread from the spot. I screamed in pain, stars bursting in front of my eyes. When they cleared, Bellatrix was striding over to me, wand raising-

"STOP IT!" I shouted, my voice terrible. Snape's office swam into view again, and I quickly turned my back to him, trembling. The mark was burning almost red hot, and I could feel Bellatrix even now, a smirk covering her face at my pain. I glared at a bookshelf in front of me, feeling my body tense as the fear faded. I was weak already, having let him in twice- and into my head during the two worst experiences of my whole life.

"It seems that with evil comes your strength." Snape said, and I stiffened further, turning to glare at him. My mind was fuzzy and aching, and I wanted to cause the bastard pain. His face swirled for a second, and harsh thoughts suddenly pounded into my brain.

He wasn't better than me, not with his history. He had practically begged the Dark Lord to save that Mudblood girl- and for what? She was already married with children to that Potter- the blood traitor.

With a tiny jerk, I snapped out of it, feeling my face scowl. "One shouldn't need evil to find strength, something I thought you'd understand. Goodnight," I snapped, turning on my heel and stalking out of his office, furious. As I got farther and farther away from him, it seemed that the feather seemed to kick back in, and eventually I stopped. Slowly, I reached down my shirt and extracted the gold chain. For the rest of my walk back to Gryffindor Tower, I held it tightly in my hand and didn't let it go, trying to soothe my headache. For a second, in his office, I was pretty sure I hadn't been myself, not at all. It was as if I'd had a reaction to what he'd said- but it was like I'd been Bellatrix, not myself. In the dimming memory, I thought for sure I'd heard the word 'Potter'…