15
Harry POV
"She said she couldn't tell you?" Ron asked in disbelief, ignoring the sprout he was supposed to be peeling in his hand and staring at me openmouthed. A mountain of sprouts was on a chair between us, and we were peeling them all by hand with knives. Snow was falling steadily outside the window, and Christmas was right around the corner. "What's her problem?" Ron demanded, nearly cutting a sprout in half when he went to peel it angrily.
"Ron, don't you get it! She's trying to tell us something without telling it to us!" I said, and he stared at me blankly, not understanding. "Ron, look, has Sarah ever hesitated in speaking her mind before? Something's up. We have to find out what."
"You know, I don't understand girls. Why the secrets? Why is everything so difficult?" Ron grumbled.
"I suppose it's because you have no brains," Fred said, coming into the kitchen, his twin following. Both of them were wearing identical evil smirks. Once they left, Ron and I huddled closer around the sink.
"Will you help me? Sarah knows something about Malfoy, I'm sure of it. If she won't tell us, I doubt she's told Hermione either." I told Ron, peeling a sprout. "But she has to tell us. This is really important, Ron."
"Yeah, I'll help. I just hope she doesn't use one of her bloody hexes on us. I saw what she did last year to Marcus Flint." Ron muttered, grabbing another sprout.
Christmas came and went. I thought almost constantly about Snape and Malfoy's conversation and, of course, Sarah. Her comment still puzzled me. She couldn't tell me? Why? Was she trying to protect me, or did she simply not want to tell me? In the time I'd known her, she was nothing but smart, outspoken once you got to know her, and loyal. This year, she was refusing to accept that Malfoy was a Death Eater, wouldn't talk about it, and was keeping secrets. Something wasn't right. I wouldn't call it perfidy, we all would have known if Bellatrix had completely taken over her and made her a Death Eater, but Sarah wasn't being honest either. The only major events that really happened over Christmas was Rufus Scrimgeour trying to recruit me for the Ministry, which I refused outright, even showing him the back of my hand and mentioning (thinking of Sarah) that I wasn't the only one who it'd happened to; and my conversation with Lupin about Death Eaters.
When Ron, Ginny and I got back, only Hermione was in the Common Room. Ron was instantly taken over by Lavender, and Ginny went to see Dean (much to my displeasure). But it left me a moment with Hermione to talk about how our Christmases went. I told her all about Scrimgeour, and we had a long bashing streak over the Ministry. As we settled into comfortable silence, the portrait hole opened and Sarah ducked in, books under her arm. "Sarah!" Hermione called her over, and she hesitated for just a moment before coming over and sitting on the edge of a coffee table to join our conversation. I glanced at the books under her arm, and noticed that she was reading the tome I'd gotten her for Christmas. Surprised again, I barely paid attention to her conversation with Hermione. If it upset her to talk about it, and she wouldn't accept it, why would she be reading about Death Eaters? That made no sense whatsoever, deepening the mystery.
"Harry, tell Sarah about Scrimgeour." Hermione's voice made me snap out of it. I looked up quickly from the stack of Sarah's books and didn't miss the look on her face…almost pained? I hastily explained about what he'd tried to do, and Sarah's right hand clenched into a fist. Her scars had never turned white, they were too deep. Instead, they were a dark brownish-red, never totally healed.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I take it the rest of your Christmas was alright?" She asked, looking disgusted over my shoulder to see Ron and Lavender snogging rather heatedly.
"Yeah, it was great. Lupin was there." I said, leaving out our conversation entirely. I didn't want to start a new fight, and maybe, just maybe, if I regained her trust, she'd just tell me what was bothering her. We chatted about Lupin for a moment, then Hermione announced proudly that Sarah had her Apparition license already. "Was the test hard?" I asked, truly curious, examining the license when she handed it to me. It was a small shiny green strip of what felt like plastic, with her name and picture on it. Sarah shrugged dispassionately.
"They almost didn't give it to me because I broke the law last year." She said dryly, but her eyes tightened. "But the test is relatively simple, especially because they were offering it to students in the Great Hall. They'll be lessons for everyone soon enough."
"Where'd you Apparate to?" I asked.
"Godric's Hollow." She replied, and the name stirred somewhere in my memory. "Well, I'm going to call it a night," she said, gathering up her books. She was very detached- like a robot, so I knew right then and there that getting whatever she knew out of her was going to be tough. Bidding us goodnight, she vanished up the girls' staircase.
"Oh, Harry, I almost forgot. From Dumbledore," Hermione said, fishing a scroll out of her pocket. Upon opening it, I discovered that he wanted to see me later tonight. That was perfect, I wanted to ask him about Snape, Malfoy, and Sarah. An hour and a half later, I was knocking on the door to his office. We talked about Scrimgeour, and he flatly turned me down when I mentioned Snape and Malfoy. Then I asked the million dollar question.
"Sir, have you talked to Sarah lately? She seems troubled." I said carefully, and I noticed Dumbledore's expression change for a fraction of a second.
"I'm afraid not. But I was aware that she fainted after Slughorn's Christmas Party, with no serious damage done yet." He said, sitting up straighter.
"Yet, sir?" I asked, confused. He just waved a hand, picking up a lemon drop, so I continued. "Professor, I've tried to talk to her about…some things, and it really upsets her when it never used to. She won't talk about it, not even to Hermione. I was just curious if you knew what it was about." I tried to construct my sentences carefully, but Dumbledore saw right through it.
"I'm assuming you've asked her about Mr. Malfoy." He said, tone distasteful, and I nodded. He leaned forward, expression serious, and said, "Harry, Sarah is under a multitude of stress this year. No matter how odd her actions may seem, you must trust her judgment. Do you understand?" He asked, and I realized that somehow he was in on it.
"I will, but do you know what's bugging her, sir?" I asked without thinking. Dumbledore sighed, standing up.
"Harry, I know Occlumens, but there are some private things that even I won't spy upon. You'd best leave it be." He said firmly, then diverted my attention by showing me another memory from Voldemort's past…
OoOoOoO
Two days later, a notice was posted on the boards in the Common Room about getting Apparition Lessons. All the sixth years were talking excitedly, jostling around the notice to sign up. Hermione bugged Sarah at breakfast for tips about Apparating, betraying how nervous she was. "Look, Hermione, it's really easy if you don't stress about it. Lots of really nasty things can happen if you do it wrong, but it's all about trusting yourself." She said with a hint of impatience as Hermione fidgeted anxiously.
"How'd you learn?" she asked. "With a teacher from the Ministry?"
"Merlin, no." She laughed, then laughed harder when she saw the scandalized look on Hermione's face. "Madam Marchbanks was bored one day in Dueling Classes, I must have been what, thirteen? But she insisted that she teach us about Apparition. Then we did side-along Apparating, then more theory…considering she was pretty much deaf back then, I'm surprised she answered questions correctly." she said, grinning at the look on Hermione's face.
"But that's so unsafe!" Hermione cried, and she snorted with laughter, patting Hermione on the back.
"Just relax, and trust yourself. Treat it like a homework assignment. Good luck, you three," she grinned wider, getting up. "Focus less on the teacher blabbing away and more on your own self. It'll help, trust me," she said, picking up her books. Younger and older students were leaving the hall, Apparition lessons were due to start soon. "See you later, then," she said, smiling at Hermione's worry, and left the hall, looking more carefree than I'd seen her in awhile. During the lesson, I heard Malfoy tell off Crabbe and Goyle for not being good 'look outs'. It made concentrating on Apparating ridiculously difficult, not to mention that the normal theory itself was impossible. It planted an idea in my head- why not look at the Marauders Map and see where he was going? Then I'd be able to spy on him and see what he was up to. I was still convinced that he'd been responsible for the cursed necklace and Sarah's seizure at the beginning of the year as well as her fainting after the party. Now I'd be able to see where he was going, all the time. After lessons, I raced back to Gryffindor Tower, got the map, and called Ron back into the Common Room. We found a deserted corner and spread out the map. We scanned for what seemed like ages, but I couldn't find him.
"Problem?" Sarah's voice made my head shoot up. Her books were tucked under her arm, and she was leaning against the wall next to us, still looking cheerful.
"Sorry, mate, can't find him," Ron muttered, getting up and leaving. He brushed past Sarah and left without a word.
"Oh, I thought you were doing homework. What's up? How were the lessons?" she asked, taking Ron's spot.
"Fine," I said, still gazing over the map. To my astonishment, Malfoy was no longer on the map, and Crabbe and Goyle were in the Slytherin Common Room. I tapped the spot with my finger, confused. That wasn't possible- the map never lies- and he couldn't just disappear.
"The Slytherin Common Room? Who are you looking for?" Sarah asked in what I supposed was supposed to be a truly curious voice, but her voice came out sharp. I felt kind of bad, we'd been on good terms for awhile, but I'd have to destroy them again to tell her the truth.
"Malfoy." I said firmly, looking right at her. "But he's not on the map. He's vanished." Sarah stared at me, clearly irritated and torn. I knew that she was now beyond curious- the map had always fascinated her.
"Can't you just let this go?" She asked quietly, getting up from Ron's spot.
"No, I can't Sarah. Look," I shoved the map in her direction, and after a second, she sat back down and scanned over it. After a minute of her flipping through the map progressively faster, she dropped it. "See. He's disappeared." I said accusingly.
"So that's my fault, is it?" She asked strongly, standing up again. "And don't ask," she said coldly as I opened my mouth to do exactly what she'd said. Irritated that she read me so easily, I watched her storm away, and I heard the door to the girls' dormitory slam. With a sigh, I wiped the map and shoved it in my bag, fuming. Over the next few days, I watched the map, even had Ron watch it when I was with Dumbledore. It soon became clear that Malfoy vanished all the time, only to reappear several hours later at different places in the castle. It was mind boggling. And then, even worse, Sarah started leaving the Common Room at night, disappearing for long periods at a time. It was bizarre, she'd always reserved that time for doing homework or talking with Hermione. When I asked Hermione if she knew where Sarah was going, she said she was spending time in the library. But when I checked the map, I found that she was walking in the hallways, always the same course. She'd go to every floor, go through secret passageways, then she'd return late. It was like she was searching the castle for something- but for what?
And most importantly, why?