26
Sarah POV
Without thinking twice, I shrunk my bag, shoved it in my pocket, and took off after Harry. I had to keep him from doing something stupid. By the time I made it into the corridor, Harry's robes where just whipping around the corner. Even though I was tired, I broke into a light jog, working to catch up to Harry without being seen. It wasn't fair that he had an Invisibility Cloak and a Map of Hogwarts, it made him impossible to track when he used both at once. Harry stopped once or twice to peek at the map, but then kept going, taking us to the fourth floor staircase when he disappeared and I swore. He'd put on his Cloak. For a second, I just stared down the hallway, fuming, before I realized that I could track him another way. The dark presence in him, his scar, was moving up the staircase, and a dark pinprick I'd associated with a Death Eater was on the floor above. Snape probably had a class, so it had to be Malfoy. Jerking to life, I slowly started after Harry, having to stop several times to focus on where he was going and keeping hidden at the same time. After mounting the stairs and crouching behind a decorative urn, I closed my eyes, tracking him by feeling alone. I was getting to a point where it would be better to track down Malfoy- the two dark presences had combined, they were too close together. But if I just got up, Harry would know I'd been following him. Waiting impatiently, I drew my wand, fingertips drumming on the handle. Ignoring my burning and aching left wrist, I moved farther down the hallway, listening, when-
BANG.
From farther down the corridor, inside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, the sounds of a duel started. I broke into a run, sprinting down the corridor and throwing open the door to the bathroom. Almost immediately a chunk of marble nearly hit me in the face. Malfoy looked rough- he was in his normal uniform for once, and his shirt was untucked, sleeves rolled hurriedly to his elbows. His tie hung loose, and it was unnerving to see him so unkempt. He and Harry were dueling in broad bloody daylight, and Moaning Myrtle was screaming. At once, I was furious. I'd told Harry to let it go, but he just couldn't help himself, could he? "PROTEGO!" Barely realizing that I'd casted the shield charm that now separated the two, I stalked out of the doorway, feeling my eyes flash dangerously at the pair of them. "What's going on here?" The dark, angry voice was back from the beginning of the year, making Malfoy's jaw drop and Harry look worried inbetween looking down at the floor, unable to meet my gaze. "You tracked him down. Again." The voice accused, and my irritation reached its peak as Myrtle kept screaming. "SHUT IT." I snarled in almost a guttural tone, and she whimpered and dove into her toilet, leaving us in ringing silence.
"Sarah, are you ok?" Harry asked in a very small voice, and I laughed mirthlessly, the sound full of bitter anger. I raised my wand right at his face; I was going to hex him and teach him a lesson, no one ever disobeyed me without paying the price. Harry's eyes widened, but he didn't move to raise his wand. For a moment, I only glared back at his bright green orbs before it clicked. I was losing my touch- Bellatrix's bottomless anger had swallowed me up again. Instantly, my posture relaxed and my jaw unclenched.
"Shit," I mumbled, and lowered my wand, squeezing my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose in defeat. This hadn't happened to me since summer, and I knew it wouldn't pass without consequences. "Dammit, Harry, why didn't you just drop it like I told you to?" I groaned, and dropped the Shield Charm.
"You should see Madam Pompfrey," Harry said quietly, sounding ashamed and I snorted, opening my eyes.
"She can't do anything and you know it. You should go." I said, my tone a clear dismissal. I was still mad at Harry for not trusting me after what I'd gone through to tell him as much of the truth as I could, but not enough to hex him like I'd been close to doing. I just needed time to calm down. Harry hesitated, clearly wondering about leaving me alone with Malfoy, but then he shoved his wand in his pocket and left, head bowed.
"You've got him well trained, I see." Malfoy mocked. I turned slowly and we glared at each other. It was like looking in a mirror- we were pale, exhausted and angry. I didn't know why he was so angry at me, I'd just chose him over Harry, something I thought I'd never do.
"Get out of it, I just saved your arse from my best friend." I snapped, and waved my wand, restoring the broken mirrors and sinks. There was a moment of silence.
"Why'd you do it?" Malfoy asked, sounding weary, but his tone was still aggressive. "Do you pity me or something? Didn't think I could take him?"
"For Merlin's sake, shut up before I hex you. I did it because I told him to leave you alone and he didn't do it. He's being an idiot, and you're being a prat. I know you've had a lot on your mind and for some reason you've had a rough week, but why the hell did you think you could duel in broad daylight?" I rebuked him in a hard voice, and he looked at me and then down. "It's being tricky then?" I added quietly after a second, reigning in my temper. I could see now that his eyes were rimmed red- he'd been crying. Suddenly, my dream from last night made perfect sense. He was under more stress than ever before.
"They're getting impatient," Malfoy said very quietly. "If I don't finish before the end of the year-" He didn't finish his sentence, his voice getting tight and strained. "But it's not working, and there's no other way to do it-" He stopped abruptly, his voice cracking. I hesitated for a second before walking over and giving him a hug. It was the only thing I could think of that would help him, at least in the present. Whenever I'd been super stressed and basically crying, I'd always wanted something to hold on to. Seconds later, Malfoy hugged back, hard, letting me know that he needed it. Burying his face in my braid and shoulder, his back trembled as he clearly tried not to cry. If he was acting, if this was all a ruse, I deserved to be fooled. There was no way that this emotion was anything but real.
"It'll work out," I whispered into his collarbone, trying to focus on him and not my own feelings, pain and exhaustion. I'd never willingly been this close to him before, and my left wrist was burning in terrible pain.
"No it won't." Malfoy's broken voice came from my shoulder, contradicting me in a 'little kid' way.
"Let me help you," I pleaded softly as he pulled back but didn't completely break our embrace. "Stop torturing yourself." I added as his angst filled eyes looked away, looking like the color of mercury.
"I can't. I know it's selfish to say that to you, but there's no protecting my family, not from him. You've tried so hard, but it's hopeless." His voice got stronger and more detatched as he spoke, and he let go. For a moment, I looked at him, horrified, as he glared at the floor. I couldn't let him give up and throw away his life- not after all this time. I took my hand off his shoulder and without hesitating slapped him across the face. He gasped in shock, cupping his face, looking sullen and hurt- just like a child.
"You coward." My voice was sharp and unforgiving. If I had learned anything about Malfoy it was that he was a child- he acted all independent, but he needed to be directed and helped along with everything. I grabbed his hands in mine, squeezing them and scowling right into his face so he couldn't look away. "You'd rather keep your pride than make things right? Draco, you can't give up. I know you're stronger than this." Draco swallowed hard but kept staring back at me- I had his attention. "Even if you want it to look like an abduction, the Order will protect you, and your family. Promise me that you'll stop this." I begged softly. Our eyes locked and we stared at each other for about a minute.
"I don't need the protection, but I won't go through with it." Draco said after taking a deep breath, averting his gaze.
"Thank you," I said quietly, and let him go. "I'll see you later, then." I continued, moving my left arm behind me, my general signal that I had to leave before I had a seizure. Draco understood instantly, taking a step back and moving his left arm behind him too. "Come find me if you need me." I ordered, then slipped out when he broke a tiny smile.
Draco POV
Once she'd left, I moved back to the sink, leaning over it with a low groan. Over the past couple days, I'd felt more and more trapped. Seeing Sarah with Potter only made it worse. I was jealous of their friendship- she had friends, people she could trust. That was something I'd never had before, and now that Sarah, someone who was putting it all on the line was trying with me, her enemy, I wanted it more than anything. It hurt more every time she helped me, because I knew I'd still have to betray her in the end. I wanted to pretend that I could keep the promise I just made Sarah, that at the end of the year I'd leave under Order protection and never be heard of again. It was my only avarice, wanting her friendship and safety. But if I thought about it, Sarah wasn't even a safe person. The way she'd acted just now, to her best friend, was shocking. She'd sounded so dark, so angry; it hurt just to listen to her. Whenever I thought about how deep her problems were, mine seemed nominal. Her allusion of cheerfulness, free of conflict, had shattered in my head- she was just as messed up as I was, and she didn't have a choice. Even worse; most of the time she picked up her mood and her problems like they were nothing at all and took them in stride. Raising my head, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and self-hatred instantly rose up to meet it. Sarah was right, I was a coward. I had options, options she was offering me at her own risk, and she had none. I had lied right to her face; and I couldn't deny it any longer, I loved her like a sister. There was something about her actions that made her feel like I'd known her forever. It didn't seem right to think of her as a romantic interest- I felt more like her older brother. I felt needed.
Now I'd have to betray her.
Sarah POV
I'd expected Harry to be waiting right outside the door, but he wasn't there. Chagrined for how I'd treated him and how I'd let Bellatrix mess with me again, I set out for Gryffindor tower. I owed Harry an apology. At the Marble Staircase, I hesitated. I wanted to tell Dumbledore immediately what had just happened, but I wanted to apologize to Harry. After a moment of deliberation, I set off for Dumbledore's office. I thought I'd be skipping, finally happy that I'd done what he'd asked. But I'd seen such sorrow and conflict in Draco- it was unnerving. It didn't help that I was worried about my state of mind- after all of my work, everything was falling apart. Instead of walking up Dumbledore's moving stairs, I let them take me to the top, too tired to get there faster. After I'd knocked and he bade me enter, I went in. Dumbledore had his back turned to me, reaching up to get a book off a shelf. "Hello, sir," I sounded tired, even to myself as I came further in and sat down. He turned around and quickly came over to his desk, setting the unmarked book to his left.
"What can I do for you, Sarah?" He asked carefully, sitting down. He looked at me cautiously, as if he was waiting for me to explode.
"He's agreed not to do it. However, Draco says that he doesn't need the Order's protection." I said almost sadly, and Dumbledore looked at me in surprise. The more I thought about it, the worse the situation seemed. I'd convinced Draco to throw away everything he'd ever known; going against everything he'd been taught. I suddenly felt terrible for making him do it.
"You're quite sure?" Dumbledore asked slowly. This changed everything he'd planned on.
"He promised me, Professor. I think he'll keep his word." I said.
"And you trust him?" Dumbledore questioned, and I felt a spark of irritation.
"There have been moments where he couldn't have been acting if he wanted to. I believe we've finally learned to trust one another."
"It looks as if it's cost you. Well done, Sarah. I never expected that anyone could do what you've accomplished. I suggest you rest now." He said, seeing right through my façade of sanity. He had probably already figured out what was wrong with me, which was more than I could say. I'd developed affection for Draco; he was like a sleeker and a more naïve version of Ron- easily offended but surprisingly loyal. He was like the sibling I'd never had, and it was a comfort to know that he had a more realistic idea of what I was going through compared to my friends. Our relationship was balancing on the tip of a knife- and it all depended on our trust for each other. Usually, I'd never let myself get into a situation like that- but things were different now. I was different. I had a feeling I wouldn't get back to normal for a long time.