28
Sarah POV
"It's about time you got here, Bellatrix." Barked Fenrir Greyback as Bellatrix hauled me up the last stair. We were surrounded by Death Eaters on all sides, their dark cloaks blocking out all light. The pain skyrocketed, and I slumped in the prison, gasping. My whole face tightened and I felt my temperature plummet sharply. The coldness emanating from me didn't bother the Death Eaters at all, in fact, they crowded closer, looking curious and downright smug. They all must have known who I was.
"I was a little busy," Bellatrix said gleefully, pulling me forward. As the Death Eaters parted, starting to laugh, Dumbledore came into view, and worse, Draco. Dumbledore was slumping gradually down the battlement, pale. He looked terribly ill- something was wrong. I immediately looked all around for Harry. He was nowhere in sight, and I prayed that he was safe. Dumbledore saw me and got whiter, if possible, looking at me in shock. Draco was standing in front of him, looking like he was going to be sick. His hair was in a disarray, hands trembling. He lowered his wand, looking at me in fright and horror. Traitor! I screamed at him in my head, trying to get up. Trembling, I collapsed back down, fighting back a fit. There were so many Death Eaters- "Well done, Draco!" Bellatrix continued, leaving me and striding over to him, kissing his cheek, leering at Dumbledore. "What are you waiting for? Do it!" She hissed when Draco didn't look away from my blank face, looking tortured. He stared deep into my now coal black eyes, searching for a spark of myself. His eyes widened further when he realized that he wasn't going to get one, that she'd caught and possessed me completely.
"He's weak, just like his father," A Death Eater taunted, and Draco turned, a snarl growing on his face from the insult. I knew that cut him deep- in our meetings this year, he'd mentioned his father very little but with the utmost respect. Both of us had made it clear that we shouldn't talk about our parents.
"We're wasting time. Just do it, Bellatrix, Merlin knows the boy can't." The same Death Eater said from the back, sounding bored. As he spoke, Dumbledore's eyes flicked from Draco to me, looking not at all surprised that he'd betrayed me.
"No! The Dark Lord wants Draco to do it," another ordered, starting an argument. While they bickered, I only had eyes for Dumbledore, who was watching me with a pained expression. His presence did nothing for me; there were too many Death Eaters around. He was probably wondering if I'd gone over willingly, and if I'd ever resurface.
"Enough! She'll do it for me." Bellatrix said suddenly, putting an arm around my stiff shoulders. The Death Eaters started to hoot with glee as I staggered to my feet in my head. No, I can't. I WON'T. I swore as Bellatrix removed her arm and said, casually, "Kill him. Now." Fighting as hard as I could, my body started to take its eerie, jerky steps forward. Bellatrix pulled Draco out of the way as I passed him, taking his spot. I ground to a halt, and then, to my horror, my wand arm started to rise. Half blind with pain, I threw myself at the walls of the prison, beating on it with my fists. Bellatrix gasped behind me, then snarled something unintelligible under her breath. Dumbledore slipped a little lower as my arm froze halfway up, trembling. Seeing him like that gave me strength, I wouldn't let Bellatrix break me, not now, not ever. I heard Bellatrix stumble as I started to claw, ripping away the wall.
"What the-" A Death Eater shouted as I tore free, whirling on the spot and raising my wand fully to level it right at Bellatrix's face.
"Proteg-" Before I could finish my spell that would separate Dumbledore and I from them, Bellatrix, as strong as ever, tackled me in my own head, making me groan, folding over myself- I wouldn't let her get me again- I fell to my knees, fighting what I knew was a losing battle. Bellatrix roared something unintelligible in real life, beating me down in my head, making me cry out. Moments later, she had me again; the wall resealed.
"She's stronger than she looks, Yaxely." Bellatrix panted through a feral smile as she made me stand up rigid again then come beside her. "But if I can't make her do it, than I will." She strode forward, wand raising-
"No." Snape's curt voice came from behind the Death Eaters, and they parted like the Red Sea. He strode forward, and in the prison, I bowed my head to the floor, wishing that I didn't have to see this. I'd known it was coming since the beginning of the year, but I couldn't accept it- "Avada Kedavra." He barked, and Dumbledore, blasted off his feet by the green light, fell off the Astronomy Tower.
"YEESSSSS!" Bellatrix screamed in victory as Snape grabbed Draco by the collar, who still hadn't taken his eyes off me, and tugged him after the Death Eaters as they started to exit the tower. Bellatrix went to the railing and cast the Dark Mark, crippling me further. In my head, I was weeping, curling up on myself from pain and grief. If I'd been stronger, I could have told my friends, told others. I could've saved Dumbledore. This was my fault, all my fault. Self hate exploded in my head. Laughing, she linked arms with me and skipped us down the steps, blasting curses everywhere. As we remerged into the fight, I tried to get a hold of myself. This was my last chance to escape or I really would be hers forever. As Bellatrix darted and ducked, pulling me through the fight, I used the wall in my head to support myself and looked around the little prison. It was disconcerting, being able to see everything in front of me and the tiny little cell around me at the same time. There had to be a weakness in my cell somewhere, there had to be a moment where I could throw her off for good.
"Don't let them get away, they have Sarah!" I heard the voice of Sirius Black bellow from somewhere, and Bellatrix's face dropped to a snarl shooting curses behind us at him as she hustled me along, into the Death Eater ranks. Moving faster now, the Death Eaters pelted down the grounds, towards Hagrid's cabin and the Forbidden Forest to escape and Apparate away. Overcome by pain and grief, I barely fought her anymore- it was all too much. There was no way out. The Order couldn't help me now- no one could.
"Now, let's have some fun, little girl!" Bellatrix snarled, and spun me from her arm, throwing me to the ground. As I rolled, she relinquished her grip on me, Summoning my wand at the same time. Shuddering and gasping, I rolled to a stop, instantly trying to get up. "Crucio!" She spat, and then I was screaming, I didn't know where I was or why this was happening; I was thrashing in agony- "That was just a taster!" Bellatrix spat triumphantly, kicking me in the ribs so that I was on my back, lifting her curse. Blinking away tears and sweat, I looked at the starry sky, marred by the Dark Mark. And then she cursed me again. And again. And again. When she paused, raising her wand and looking thoughtful, I heard Harry yell out into the night.
"SNAPE! HE TRUSTED YOU!" He bellowed angrily, and I heard his feet pounding over the turf towards us.
"Go to your Aunt," I barely heard Snape mutter to someone. When I turned my head, I saw him striding out to meet Harry, his long robes billowing behind him as he raised his wand. Shuddering and panting, I tried to think. If he hurt him-
"Ah, Draco! It's time you learned how this works." Bellatrix said briskly as Draco appeared above me, his eyes boring into mine, growing when he realized I was myself again. Anger sparked in me as he looked at me helplessly, as if he hadn't betrayed me without a second thought. I glared at him, not breaking eye contact as Bellatrix's hand closed around my left wrist, and ripped my robe sleeve almost all the way off, then ripped the sleeve of my shirt. I choked, eyes squeezing shut. Her eyes looking at the mark was surely burning off my skin, it hurt- "It's very simple, really. Watch." Bellatrix said cheerfully. Seconds later, a scream ripped through my throat. Whatever she was doing, it was worse than the Cruciatus Curse. I couldn't breathe, or think; my lungs must have been exploding- "Now that we've moved it up, it has to be enlarged so that the snakes fit." Bellatrix was saying through the pounding of my head, and then the pain started again. Its intensity made me scream and writhe and jerk. My back arched as the searing icy pain pulsed through my body, again and again; I couldn't take it, I'd have to die before it would end, there was no way I could survive this. "There. Now, for the final touch." Bellatrix said smugly, and I waited for the pain to come, for her to make me a Death Eater. It never came.
"Aunt, I can't let you do this." Draco's voice cut through the silence like a knife. It was hard, cold, uncaring, almost scornful. "This girl is not worth it."
"This girl is very much worth it, Draco." Bellatrix said in the deep, dark, angry voice that had plagued me all year.
"She's a Mudblood." Draco spat back, and there was silence. In the background, I could hear Snape bellowing something about not being called a coward.
"No. NO!" Bellatrix screamed. This was my final play against her, I knew it. I'd fooled her already, and it'd cost her dearly. What this would cost her, I had no idea, but I knew I wouldn't survive. "You WRETCH!" She screeched, and then something was cutting my face, my arm, leg, back, stomach, everywhere. Panting furiously, almost sobbing, she slashed at me again and again. It stopped, and I heard her heaving for breath. "Avada-" I heard her start, when-
"Bellatrix! We have to leave! Now!" Snape barked, interrupting her. I heard a mild struggle, she must have been trying very hard to kill me. Bellatrix kicked me one last time, shrieking incoherently, before the sound of her died away, pulled away by Snape. Mind fuzzy, I barely registered someone tucking something into my pocket. It crinkled, like paper.
"I'm sorry," a familiar voice breathed, sounding anguished, and a cold hand lightly took the side of my face, a thumb brushing over part of my lip and my jaw before it vanished for good. For awhile, I just lay there. I could feel my own blood, warm, sticky and wet all over my body, slowly saturating my hair, which was halfway out of its braid. From somewhere far off, I could hear panting, and what sounded like struggling.
"Sarah?" Harry suddenly called out, almost begging for a response. When I only stirred slightly and then stopped moving, he called out again, sounding like he was struggling with more intensity, fright permeating his voice. Time passed… Sarah!" Harry was shouting, and I heard him scrabbling up off the ground as if he was suddenly free. He fell on his knees beside me, and a hand frantically brushed bloody strands of my hair out of my face. "Sarah, can you hear me? Merlin, Hagrid!" He called him for help, sounding desperate. His presence made my shame and grief worse- if only I hadn't been so weak, I could have warned him, warned everyone. If I'd been able to keep her out I could've fought for the Order.
"H-Harry," I choked out, my eyes fluttering, then opening. Everything was misty, I could barely see the stars and the Dark Mark in the sky. Harry's face was leaning over me, looking panicked. I blinked blood out of my eyes as he quickly looked in a different direction as thundering footsteps started over, then back to me. Seeing the helpless and scared look on his face almost hurt more than I did. "H-h-arry-y-" I whispered, feeling tears prick at my eyes and burn harshly in the cuts on my face. It was all my fault.
"Here, I got'er." Hagrid rumbled, and I moaned in pain when gentle, huge hands scooped me up.
"Careful, Hagrid," Harry cautioned as I cried out again when my sore body moved with his. The cuts on my back, legs and shoulders rubbed against the remains of my clothes and his giant arms, getting blood on his front.
"Harry, D-Dumbledore-" I started, but couldn't continue as grief pushed hard at my raw wounds, physical and mental.
"I know, Sarah." Harry said quietly. Grieved, I let Hagrid support me for a long time as I tried to wake up, to hold on. It would be so easy just to slip away and not have to feel my screaming body and my own self-hatred. Despite my best efforts, I knew I blacked out for awhile because when I came back to awareness, we had entered the school. We ground to a halt in what sounded like the courtyard. I could hear many people crying or sobbing-we must have been in front of Dumbledore's body. Slowly, Hagrid's shoulders started to shake, and huge tear drops fell on my face and body, washing away blood. As each fell, the salt stung in my wounds.
"I'll take her," said a bitterly sad voice I didn't really recognize, and I stirred, then groaned when I was transferred to a different pair of arms, ones that were human sized. I could hear Hagrid bawling behind us as the person carrying me started out for the Hospital Wing with a quick, loping gait. I barely remember the trip there, only Madam Pompfrey stifling sobs in a handkerchief as she worked, putting some kind of cream on the cuts all over my body from Bellatrix. When her fingers turned over my left arm, she wailed, dropped it, and ran away. Too tired to understand, I lay there for Merlin knows how long, fighting to stay conscious. After awhile, I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up, instantly gasping as pain flooded my joints.
"Easy, Sarah, easy," the voice spoke again, but I ignored it and forced myself to what was technically a sitting position with trembling arms, my shredded strips of my clothes sliding down to my shoulders. Looking up, bits of hair hanging in my eyes, I realized it was Sirius Black who was next to me. His whole body was tense, and a muscle was jumping in his jaw. His eyes held a sadness I'd never seen before. "Sarah," he rebuked quietly, but I still didn't listen, trying to push myself up straighter. In my pocket, something crinkled, but I ignored it. Instead, I slowly pushed away the ripped and torn sleeves on my left arm. To my surprise, the mark wasn't on my wrist. However, farther up my arm was the skull, but it was larger and darker. All that was missing was the snakes. Unable to look away, I stared at it, transfixed, until it was burning into my eyes, then my eyelids when I squeezed them shut. I'd been one step away from becoming just like Bellatrix, and one step away from her killing me. But why had Draco done it, why did he tell her the truth, especially after looking at me the way he did? Why was he playing both sides? You already know that. My mind told me silently, and I felt my eyes prick with tears. He was playing both sides because I'd let him play me. I'd trusted him too easily, assumed that sine he had seriously confided in me, he would side with the Order. "Sarah," Sirius said quietly, and he laid a hand on my shoulder. Choking back a sob, I let him embrace me, crying half from pain, half from sorrow.