A/N: It's been ages since I last put my fingers down to the keyboard, but I've had a hectic two and a half weeks of school and at least 2-3 hours of prep (homework) a night. Ahhh! KILL ME NOW! Anyway, don't own Twilight. We're back in Avery's POV by the way.
xxx
My words were incoherent, and I couldn't seem to form a full sentence without uttering curse words left and right. Brady just took it all in, completely un-phased by my choice of words. After ranting on about nothing much, as most words were followed by a 'shit', 'fuck' or 'crap', I let my arms swing aimlessly by my sides, waiting to see what he would say. Somehow, I got the feeling that he was a lot smarter than most of the people I knew, and yet he constantly hid it, as if he were afraid of letting us in on his knowledge. Now I needed him to break down his walls more than ever before though, I needed that calm wisdom that seemed to pour from his lips in every word.
Brady said nothing. He just continued to look at me, his brow slightly furrowed, as if he were debating the nature of my humanity in his head. I wished for once I could just read his mind. Life would be so much simpler, it seemed, if I could just understand what he was thinking at this current moment. My anger seemed uncontrollable, and after tensely waiting more than the socially acceptable time for him to speak, I practically screamed at him. "What!?" I yelled, trying to reign in some of my fury but failing miserably. He sighed and shook his head lightly, as if disheartened by my sudden outburst. A few more tense moments passed, before he came to his choice of words. "You should guard your thoughts more carefully. It was too easy to learn what you were thinking about." He said, before sauntering off back the way we came. I felt tempted to follow him and demand an explanation, but my guilty conscience held me back. 'He's right, all he had to do was ask and I practically blurted out my entire life story to him. Ugh! I must be such an open book, I bet every one knows.' I thought angrily.
I felt jealousy at Brady rushing up inside of me. 'How does he do it? No one knows what he's really thinking ever, and yet he makes it look so simple. What's the secret to getting it right?' I thought enviously, staring at the place where he had once stood, spouting forbidden wisdom. No matter how much I investigated my mind for the key, the right answer, it wasn't there. I slunk down to the floor, and let the guilt build up in my throat. The salty tears were soon brushing against my cheeks, and I tasted one as it reached the corner of my lips. 'Life would be so much simpler if he were here. If he was holding me, if he was brushing away these tears, if only.' I thought, my emotions verging on suicidal depression. 'But he's not here, and he never will be. It will never work out for you, because you are Avery Uley, a weak anomaly, someone whose not even supposed to exist.' The more I thought, the more I realized how true my adopted status was.
I was never supposed to exist. If I didn't exist, Sam wouldn't have to worry about protecting his annoying little sister all the time, Seth wouldn't be caught in this imprint which was playing on his emotions, and the pack wouldn't have to deal with an annoying girl who made things awkward all the time and who hated everyone. 'Great, what does this mean?' I thought, knowing the answer. My nonexistence would be better for everyone around me. It would probably make them happier, healthier, better.
I hugged my knees even more tightly with every more morose thought that arose in my mind. Soon they were squeezed against my chest, and my arms were both slung around my small body. The tears no longer ran, but I could still feel the marks and trails they dotted over my face. My throat felt sore and ragged, and I could still distinctly make out the large lump that threatened more tears. I could feel that my eyes were red and raw from the unusual amount of crying I'd done in the past few days. Overall, I felt like crap. "Still waiting for my Romeo to come and save me I guess." I thought ironically.
xxx
I didn't get home to late at night, and of course Sam was up worrying like the overprotective fool of a big brother he is. "Where. Have. You. Been." It was more like four separate sentences than a question. I winced at his harsh tone, but bitchy Avery had to take a stab back at him. "None. Of. Your. Business. Twat." I said. As soon as the last word was out of my mouth, I regretted it. Even though it was my bitchy alter-ego who said a bad word to my anxious big brother, it was my ass that was going to get in trouble for it now.
He froze, one hand still caught in his hair as he was brushing it back, his breathing stopped, and I swear the house became so silent, you could hear a pin drop in it, no extra senses required. "What did you just say?" he asked, his tone cold and malicious. I clamped my mouth shut, afraid I would say something else to bring more fury upon myself than already. "AVERY ULEY, WHAT DID YOU SAY?" he yelled so loudly, I instinctively took a step back and wiped the spit from my cheek. This time he really had pulled my inner-daemon out. "I said: None of your business, TWAT!" I practically screamed at him. We really went at it then.
Twenty minutes later I sat on the couch crying, trying to remember what profanities I had screamed at my brother. I vaguely remember telling him that I wished he were dead and that he'd never been born. It was stupid, and I regretted, but my pride and ego needed some good old wallowing in self-pity, something I found myself doing an awful lot as of late, before I could go and even attempt to apologize to him. He'd stalked up stairs to be in the comfort of Emily. I felt the bile build up in my throat at the notion of him having what I could not. Life wasn't fair. I guess I should know that by now.
The silence in the house reached an all time low. If before I could hear a pin drop, now I could hear the activities of a mouse in a different room it was so quiet. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard small tapping at the door of the house. Recovering from the shock, and praying to god that Sam hadn't heard it and wouldn't creep downstairs to investigate, I stood up slowly and wiped my eyes. I hoped that whoever it was didn't know how to notice when a girl had been crying recently; I wasn't in the mood for curious questions.
I crept slowly towards the door, slightly dragging my feet so as not to make too much noise. I quickened my pace when I heard another quiet knock. Slipping towards the door, I pulled it open. My mouth dropped open, hit the floor, and rebounded, only to drop again. Standing there, looking like a knight in shinning armor, stood him, Seth. My eyes widened in alarm. It was several moments of awkward silence that passed between us before I spoke first. In whispers, my voice came out as hoarse and worn. "What are you doing here?" I whispered, deathly afraid that someone upstairs might hear even now.
He took a deep stare into my eyes before he spoke. I felt refreshed, just looking into his caring, deep chocolate eyes. Like all my previous emotions from earlier had been wiped away, I had been handed a clean slate, just with one look. "I need to tell you something. Something quite important, can I come in?" he whispered back caringly. I took a step back, inviting him in with my hand, but motioning with my finger to be quiet. He gave me a questioning look, and I pointed up mouthing 'Sam and Emily.' He nodded, and we crept toward the couch that had become sort of my home.
As we settled down, it seemed only natural that I sat apart from him. He didn't like this, so he pulled me by my waist and settled me leaning into his chest. I hesitated first, adverse to any sort of contact with other beings, but he didn't notice. So I took the opportunity and let m heart have what it wanted. He felt warm, and I got a strange high from simply touching him, like this weird buzz that made me feel like my life had a meaning. I felt each breath he held, and the soft purr of his chest as he exhaled. It felt so perfect, sitting together with him, like this. My heart felt like it was threatening to skip a beat, like all the girls complain about in every romance book you've ever read, which is stupid because that would mean that I'm going into cardiac arrest.
He spoke first. "I've missed you." I sighed empathetically. "I know. It sounds silly, but it…it's like I'm not whole…like I'm not really here when you're not." I said, letting my walls slide down, feeling an immense need to be as vulnerable as he was. He rested his head on mine, and took a deep breath. My heart felt like it was whole again, like all the wounds I had caused myself through the pain of missing him were healed again. All of the turmoil, heartbreak and salt-shedding I had done in the past few days were wiped aside, irrelevant factors, of what appeared to be someone else's life. My only reminder that it was my life was my raw eyes and the salt trails which still lingered partially on my cheeks.
"I've wanted to tell you something, ever since I laid my eyes on you in the clearing, I-" I turned around and put my finger on his lips, effectively shutting him up. "Don't." I said. "Don't say it, it'll just make it hurt that much more when you leave." I said, depressing reasoning trying to win him over. My heart was screaming at me to let him continue, but I knew I would just be even more of an emotional wreck if he said those three words. I removed my finger, feeling somewhat ashamed that I had let this conversation continue this far.
It was as I looked down at my legs, that I noticed looked awfully fat in the shorts I was currently wearing, that I felt his fingers brush against my cheek. He lifted my face again, so it was facing his, and reached in so I could feel his breath against my face. "But I want to. I love you Avery Uley." It was then that I cut him off by pressing my lips against his. His lips felt warm against my own, and I swear I felt sparks passing though my entire being. My arms reached up to wrap around his neck. I let my fingers lose themselves in his hair. This was accompanied by a soft moan from him, and so I continued to run my fingers through his hair. His tongue reached it's way forward to trace the lines of my lips as his hands cupped my face.
After a few moments, I granted him access to my mouth. He took dominance with confidence, and soon his tongue was exploring the contours of my mouth, playing with my own tongue slightly, and enticing me. Our breathing grew sharp and oxygen seemed suddenly hard to come by, but it wasn't air that I craved, it was Seth. I wanted every inch of him. I needed him. He was my other half. Without him, I was an empty shell of nothingness.
Somehow, I retracted my hands from his soft hair, which I knew that I could never stop wanting to touch, and down to his shirt. I pulled it up, and he agreeing with me, shrugging it off, breaking out passionate kiss for the briefest of moments, but it still felt like a lifetime. He returned to my lips with force, crushing his against mine. He soon regained access to my mouth, but I fought for dominance as well. In the moments where his tongue retreated back into his mouth, I attacked with my own and bit his lower lip softly. We fought this way for what felt like only a brief time, but I snatched a glance at the clock and realized that it had been 40 minutes since he had first tapped on the door. I guess time really does fly when you're with the one you love.
A/N: Question for this week is to you guys, do you have any questions, about the characters, past, present or future plot? I will answer most, as long as they don't give too much away about the ending. Again sorry for taking so long with this update, but school's been a hassle. Not much of an excuse, but I took advantage of this being a snow day (Yay!) and decided to finish this chapter. I actually started it a week and a half ago but the dreaded homework and writers block hit all at once. Any ways, I'm rambling, so bye!