Disclaimer: I do not own Xing Cai, Guan Ping, Liu Chan or any other characters who are mentioned without names; they belong to koei.
Love and Loyalty
"Cai!" Guan Ping shouted his best friend whom he had been looking for well over an hour; she was walking past the southern fields. "You did not stop by to watch me training this morning, it's Friday." he told her. Xing Cai heard this and turned around to face him, he gasped at her tear-stained face. "You've been crying?" he stated quizzically.
"Yes." she mused for a while before continuing "I'm sorry for not watching you train this morning darling," He was taken aback because she'd never called him that before but he didn't get the time to ponder because she rushed up and hugged him, she started crying again. Guan Ping thought this was odd , Xing Cai had never cried in front of him before, she'd always been so strong willed.
He didn't try to stop her from crying because although she may have appreciated it he wanted her to stop completely before talking to her. He wanted to know why. Eventually she prised herself away from him but she didn't make eye contact with him. She was talking to herself inaudibly but she did seem to say 'sorry' a lot. Ping decided it was time to intervene, "What's wrong?" he asked her.
She looked up and smiled but she still didn't make eye contact. "Liu Chan has" she paused, she saw Ping's reaction at the mention of his name and knew this would be a bad idea. "Liu Chan has done what?" Ping said in a demanding tone, feeling a slight remorse for being cruel in his friend's predicament. "He asked me to marry him!" She shouted angrily. "Zhuge Liang advised him to, for the future of Shu."
"That isn't obligatory!" Guan Ping told her, "Why should you marry him?" Xing Cai laughed this one off, she finally made eye contact which Ping broke off. "Exactly what I said" she spoke cynically, not in agreement. "But it's what you want of me isn't it!" She shouted, Ping was taken aback.
"You know that you're better than Liu Chan!" he shouted angrily as he turned away from her.
Xing Cai whispered back in response "But not good enough for you." Ping turned around to consolidate her but she'd already ran away towards the forest. He thought about what to do and he really wanted to chase after her but he remembered his father's advice. They were marching to war in less than a week and he needed to keep his strength up; he couldn't spend time running around the forest. But it was dangerous. "Cai, why must you always allure me to your love?" he sighed and proceeded towards the forest.
"There you are" he smiled but she looked away upon hearing his voice. "I never said that you weren't good enough for me." Guan Ping told her politely, sitting on the stump of tree next to her.
"You don't love me!" She turned and faced him, she'd been crying furthermore and her eyes were rimmed in red, Guan Ping couldn't help but think it defined her eyes. "You look stunning even when you have been crying" he told her.
"Don't change the subject!" She shouted at him in despair. "You do not love me Guan Ping, why do you just not admit it, at least I'm worth that much, surely?" her voice was growing weaker.
"I do love you" he began "why do you think I've been here for you for the last ten years, always?" he didn't wait for the reply "why do you think I pursued you into this dangerous forest?" he asked, waiting for a reply but not wanting one for that particular question.
"If you love me then why do you condemn me to men like Liu Chan?" She asked, not knowing what was going on in Ping's head at all. "I am a man of Shu" Guan Ping began "Love and loyalty are totally different" he looked Cai in the eyes, he saw that she acknowledged this so maybe she'd believe him. "I am loyal to Shu and I must go out to fight with my father in the Jing province in less than a week." She nodded and waited for him to continue.
"That isn't your world." He said blatantly "You know me better than anyone else and I know you better than anyone else, do I have to say more than that?"
"No." Xing Cai smiled weakly, "I understand that you don't want me." Ping nodded angrily and slammed his fist down on the ground, scattering leaves. "You know what I mean but you refuse to accept it, go on. Tell me what I mean." He smiled but she didn't see the amusement in it.
"You're always away fighting and training!" She said in a mock voice as though she disbelieved it "I would be better with a husband who can be there for me all the time." She said in sarcasm but Ping decided blatantly to ignore it. "That's true, I am fighting a lot and he'll be there for you every single day."
Xing Cai nodded in disbelief "I don't want Liu Chan every day. If I could have you just one tenth of that time it'd be one hundred times more magnificent." She smiled but Ping still looked solemn, "You're not always fighting and training! Only when there is a battle to commence and the last time you fought was three years ago, we have plenty of time together!"
Guan Ping nodded in disbelief "You need someone to be there for you Cai, I could die any time in battle. Liu Chan is incompetent, he'll never be in battle and he'll be there for you forever." He told her but she nodded at him in disbelief. "I don't love Liu Chan, I barely even know him." She mused "You said yourself that you knew me better than anyone else." Guan Ping nodded and moved her hair out of her face.
"That's true" her face lit up "But I'm your best friend, not your boyfriend" he felt sad to see her glum again. 'Could this work?' he mused to himself.
"We worked once upon a time!"
"That was years ago." Guan Ping shouted her down "There was no war and turmoil then, we can't have that again." He told her but she laughed him off.
"You made me happy and you do that when you're not here, even without you I feel loved but I feel nothing for Liu Chan."
"You're just saying that" Ping assured himself more than he did Cai, "You want me just because you don't want Liu Chan but you haven't even thought about this. He can provide you with a home, I'm son of the Great Guan Yu but how can that compare to the Shu-Han ruler's son?"
"You're a greater man than Liu Chan will ever be!" She shouted "You proved that in battle and you will do this week."
He opened his mouth to speak but Cai hushed him and spoke for herself.
"Touch me Ping" She whispered softly in his ear.
"What?" he asked, taken aback.
"Touch me" she repeated.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because you know you want me." She said. Ping knew that he shouldn't but she was so beautiful and he'd already doubted. 'Could this work?' he mused again.
Without another sound he pressed his lips against Cai's and they seemed to kiss for ever. Eventually she pulled away and smiled "See, I told you that you wanted to." She smiled.
"What?" Ping laughed. "We only kissed!"
Cai smiled at him "You're a man Ping" she giggled, almost hysterically. "You were touching me everywhere while you did that and you probably didn't even notice it." She laughed "That's why we kissed for so long."
Ping laughed almost inadvertently, looking down in embarrassment. Xing Cai met his gaze and fell on the floor laughing. "I told you that you wanted me." She smiled and he smiled back.
"I still think that" he began but she cut him off by kissing his lips softly.
"You want me and you know it" she said seductively.
"Okay then" he succumbed. "I want you and I know it" he said before cuddling her close to him. He looked up at the stars "It's already dark!" He noted.
"Let's go back to my father's home then, he'll be out drinking until the early hours if it's Friday." Xing Cai smiled and he followed her back home.
"I will love you forever" Xing Cai said with rasping breath.
Guan Ping got up from under the covers and held her close to him. "I know that you will wait for me forever." He smiled at her and she smiled back, disbelieving almost everything that had happened today, she'd smiled more than ever before.
"Marry me!"
Guan Ping wasn't shocked by this after the day's events but he still had his concerns. "What about Liu Chan?"
Xing Cai simply laughed and gave her briefest response, Ping would understand because he knew her better than anyone else.
"Love and loyalty are different things."