Hey peoples sorry about the wait, I've been super stressed lately but now summer is here and I'm going to start writing more.
Since poor faith had collage finals I decided that instead o waiting to just go ahead and submit the piece and I'm sure this wont be the last unedited ch
please enjoy and be tolerant to any grammer or spelling errors in any of the langues
Peace off
What Ever You Do: Don't Panic part 1
"Alright" Azul said with her portable mark board resting on her lap, "Get Redonna on the phone so we can go over the plan"
Icefire nodded with her communicator call TBNL on speed dial, "Hello" her voice said sleepily, her eyes darted to the open window to stare at the newly woken sky.
"Morning Ice, My niece didn't cause much damage up there yet" A deep voice responded with a Bristol accent, basically alittle bit slower than Azul's more generic British one. Although Azul sometimes spoke with a more posh accent when wants to act more leader like.
"Bob you do know I had it on speaker right?" Icefire said through a yawn and thought Great first Azul wakes me up at X'hal knows what in the morning I now I have to deal with her annoyed. How is it that Bob is all ways so chipper in the morning anyway?
"Yea tío, and don't forget out of them I'm the good one" Azul said smugly in her exaggerate posh British accent, although her first 2 words were in a thick Spain Spanish one.
"Good is more of a relative term for us" Icefire said dryly, "although that statement could also be taken as it is our relatives more than us that good applies to"
"True" Azul nodded as she continued to speak, "We haven't caused any damage yet and they still don't know the whole truth yet but I'm sure we'll tell them when the time is right."
"You waiting for Ayame to blow your cover now ain't ya" Bob laughed whole heartily, and grew louder as he heard Icefire snoring in the background and his angry blue accent switching niece yelling at her to wake up.
"What huh What…What is that you want now?" Icefire responded is a drowsy stammer.
"You fell asleep" Azul growled as she quickly went back on talking with her Uncle Bob, "We haven't caused any damage yet, tío could you get Redonna on the phone please? I just want to make sure the rest of them don't cause any harm."
"I'll get her if she's awake, but I'll have to sacrifice someone else to wake her if she's not. It's safer that way…for me" Bob gulped as he remembered how many times he had to wake one of the teens up, only to nearly get burned to a crisp, frozen in time, turned into a popsicle, stabbed with a sword, hit with a 2 ton roman shield, clawed, or the newest one almost getting crushed by a boulder. He was terrified for when the new dragon teammate from Liverpool was going to show up. Please god, make him a morning person! Bob thought nervously as he walked into the ship's library. "Redonna? You in here?" he called.
"What do you want Bob" An annoyed Japanese accent returned.
"Phone call from Azul" Bob said still not seeing her. How hard is it to spot her she is light red! He thought slightly annoyed with himself.
"I'm right behind you" Redonna said flatly.
"There you are I was just about to hand you the-" Bob looked and saw the phone was gone and looked around alittle only to see it already in Redonna's hands. "How did you? Never mind" Bob laughed at himself for almost asking a stupid question.
"Mosimoshi Azul" Redonna said slightly annoyed that her reading was interrupted.
"Hey Roja is Spata behaving himself around are new teammate?" Azul laughed already knowing he'd become a love sick Italian puppy dog.
"Oh please he's acting like a perfect gentlemen, he's been waiting on her hand and foot!" Redonna sighed as she shook her head. The only thing he's missing is the butler's suit, and a sign that says "feel free to walk over me" she thought.
"That must have been annoying" Azul snickered and thought of Spata carrying Terra around and then waving a giant fan while sitting at her feet.
"Actually it wasn't all that bad, I even got him to fetch me some stuff."Redonna chuckled, remembering his slightly annoyed face.
"Anything happened besides that when I was gone" Azul asked happily, still amused by the thought of butler/man servant Spata.
"Yea Bob and Prometheus had a contest to see who made the worst food." Redonna sighed then turned slightly green remembering the traumatic events from yesterday.
Azul shivered at the thought of Prometheus' awful cooking but got even more scared at the thought of her uncle's bland British food. "So who won?" Asked genuinely curious.
"We don't know we didn't eat them but their dishes tried to eat each other," Redonna's voice mixed with nausea, disgust, and fear.
"What happened to the dishes?" Azul asked concerned, that she'd have to go save them.
"Terra caught them and put them in the incinerator" Redonna's voice returned to its normal Japanese monotone.
"In other words you burned it Miss Pyro" Azul laughed, knowing she just ticked off Redonna.
"You do know how lucky you are that you're not here right now" Redonna growled, very upset that of all people Azul managed to slam her.
Azul could feel the fire in Redonna's voice, Icefire would have laughed it off but Azul was smarter than Icefire and changed the subject.
"Do you remember our agreement?" Azul said sternly using her leader position to get leverage over Redonna and win their argument.
Redonna sighed on the other end cursing in her head, "Yes don't do anything to cause any sort of disorder or draw any attention to ourselves."
"AND….." Azul nagged using her posh I'm better than you British accent.
"No stealing, mugging, conning, or robin hooding of any kind" Redonna said in one breath as she thought of a plan to get Azul back.
"Good now I have to call Nightmare to see how things are going on his move." Azul sighed happily
"Fine I'll hang up so you can call your beloved dragon with shining scales" Redonna teased, hoping to get a reaction.
"Bye" Azul said calmly knowing it would annoy Redonna if she showed little reaction, even if she was cussing in her head. "Icefire call Nightmare's cave….Icefire?" Azul sighed seeing the Tamaranean girl asleep again, "WAKE UP YOU STUPID carámbano!" (carámbano = icicle)
"I'm up" Icefire yawned tired from being woken up for the 3rd time in a row.
"Call Nightmare's Cave RIGHT NOW!" Azul barked
"Funny you've been dating him for what a month and you still don't have his cell number" Icefire grumbled sourly.
"I have his number" Azul shot back her Spanish accent becoming stronger.
"Then why don't you call him" Icefire retorted sleepily, a small smirk formed on her face.
"I WILL" Azul roared at her once again sleeping teammate. She quickly hit the speed dial on her phone, and then suddenly realized she'd been duked. "maldita sea that stupid carámbano!" (maldita sea= Damnit)
"Hello Azul darling, how are things up at the tower?" A cheery Liverpool accent greeted her.
"Hola mi novio, estoy enojada con mi témate Icefire." Azul's voice calmed happy to talk to him.
"Why are you angry at her love" Nightmare asked sweetly hoping to calm his girlfriend down.
"She is STILL asleep and Had the NERVE to use reverse psychology on me" Azul whined.
"Sorry Love do hope things get patch up around there" Nightmare smiled until he heard a clash coming from the library.
"So how is the packing going?" Azul asked British accent now full taken over, well at least for the time being.
"BLOODY HELL, you sent the most useless and annoying people on your team! They both decided to call me puff but because of their accents it sounds like poof! And Ayame has locked herself in the library and refuses to leave or pack until she has read every single book! Do you know how big a library I have?"
"I did not know it was so big" Azul said in a suggestive tone.
"YOUR SICK, and stop it Scudo already flirts with every breathing creature that walks by my cave, I'll never be able to get my mail AGAIN" Nightmare ranted.
"Hold it your mail or…your male?" Azul said the last part somewhat suggestively.
"Wait, what, I don't get it" Nightmare said totally confused.
"SHE'S ASKING IF YOUR GAY" Ayame yelled from inside the library.
"KEEP READING! AND as for you I'm not gay, Scudo's the one you should be questioning" Nightmare growled.
"He's completely straight have you not seen his porn collection?" Ayame wondered loudly.
"KEEP READING, and I doubt it because over 75% of the dragons he flirted with were guys. And have you seen his porn collection?"
"Wait even the pink one?" Scudo cried.
"HE WAS MAROON! And seriously have you seen his porn collection?" Nightmare asked confused and frustrated.
"I'd say he was more magenta. And ya I've seen it, I walked into his room once and they were all over his walls, under his bed, in his pillowcase, under his mattress, in the shower, in his hamper, and one in the library. He even labeled his favorites 1-100. His favorite is the Tamaranean version of playboy, the second favorite would be censored on porn channels." Ayame said completely calm, "It keeps any girl way that would do anything so it's okay!"
"And YOU'RE THE ADULT of the team, no wonder Azul is as crazy as she is" Nightmare concluded.
"What do you mean CRAZY?" Azul growled, although sleepy laughter could be heard in the background.
"I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish" Nightmare said quickly.
"I was speaking ENGLISH YOU F…."Azul was cut off by Nightmare hanging up his phone and swiftly throwing the battery out his window.
"Five bucks says she was about to say fire truck or the f-word" Ayame's cheery French voice rang from the library.
"Ten says it was fool" Scudo shouted at the library door.
"YOU KEEP READING AND AS FOR YOU" Nightmare roared at Scudo "LEARN TO READ BLOODY ENGILSH YOU PORN LOVING FOOL!"
-back at titan tower-
"HAHAHAHA….Oh man….oh..I can't…breathe….hahah" Icefire roared as she fell off the bed.
"NOW YOU'RE AWAKE!" Azul scolded really pissed that she had been tricked twice by Icefire.
"Who's to say I wasn't awake the whole time?" Icefire laughed as Azul growled and flipped her off.
"WHY YOU….ya know let's just get some breakfast." Azul said as she headed down stair, Icefire followed her.
"There's nothing in the fridge, well besides some blue stuff" Icefire said with disgust and fear.
"Let's just buy something at the bakery" Azul sighed as her stomach growled.
"But all we have is yen, British pounds, and Euros" Icefire said sadly as her stomach rumbled.
"No remember that little donation Steve gave us before his passing, and the one we got from MySpace. And the money Google owed for the idea Ayame gave them, and the money we got from Facebook, Microsoft, Yahoo, and Apple…..again" Azul smiled evilly, remembering the money her team "got".
"Oh ya lets eat!" Icefire smiled as she danced out the door.
"You've got mail." A monotone voice said coming from her phone.
"Who's emailing?" Azul asked Icefire, hoping their ordeal with their team was over.
"Ayame" Icefire sighed as she read the message. Bonjour glace, scooter parle that tu regarde something in his room while he was reading his porn? What happened si vous plet?
Icefire's face turned bright red and she replied I'm pretty sure you KNOW WHAT I SAW!
Are you 100% sure I mean je suis trés stupide. Haha inlighten moi! Ayame texted by smiling evilly.
Icefire growled as she texted back Think you stupid frenchie what guys do when they read porn alone…
Ayame giggled to herself and texted pour qui françaises garçons don't stoop to those levels!
Well apparently Italian guys do, well at least this one does Icefire's eyes were now solid blue.
"Whats wrong?" Azul asked curious to why Ice was pissed off.
"THAT STUPID FRENCHIE IS PLAYING DUMB…ER" Icefire shouted.
Je ne joue pas stupide ! do you think puff does that? Ayame laughed coyly.
Azul stood on her tip toes to read the messages, fury then filled her eyes, "LEAVE MI NOVIO OUT OF THIS YOU PERVERTIDAS" Azul growled and texted.
Je suisun pervers, et alors? beaucoup d'hommesaimentça de moi! Je adore tu bleu. Exclaims Ayame (this is what she said " i'm a pervert, so what? many men love that about me! I love you blue")
"That's it lets just ignore her texts and get food" Icefire said as they started to walk to the bakery, "HEY wait did you call me a pervert too?"
"ummmmm….Lets just go get the food" Azul said quickly trying not to make eye contact.
-in Nightmare's cave-
"Oh scootair!" Ayame yelled in her think French accent "oh! Scootair, j'ai un mission for tu!"
"Che cosa è la mia amica?" A heavy Italian accent responded.(this is what he said "What is it my friend" and this is Scudo but Ayame calls him Scooter and misprounous it)
"je need tu à sexte Glace" Ayame laughed with a sterotipical french laugh. (Glace=Ice) (sexte=sext)
"Sì, questo è il giorno più bello della mia vita" Scudo cheered happily(this is what he said "Yes, this is the happiest day of my life")
-bakery in jump city-
"Welcome to Great Harvest Bread Co., What would you like a slice of" A cheery woman asked as Azul and Icefire entered.
"Is a slice of everything an option?" Icefire eyes twinkled at the loaves of fresh bread, drool apparent on her chin.
The woman put her hand on her chin and actually took time to process the answer to the question, her eyes widen as she looked at the teen titans poster on the wall. No, they can't be...can they? No they aren't the titans but they look like them, if they are related to the titans I better be nice to them. The woman smiled at Icefire then nodded as she began to slice a loaf.
After Icefire devored her samples and Azul ate her own, the two then bought every loaf of bread the store had, as well as jams, jellys, butters, and pretty much anything else they sold.
"Wow" the woman smiling from ear to ear I can't wait till Friday thank god I get paid by commission! She danced around in a circle as the bafled store manager saw the sence.
"Ashely you are now promoted to assistant manager and in charge of all sales involing superheros" The manager said when he finally stopped gawking.
Icefire and Azul then made a quick stop at the cave TBNL was parked and dropped off the majority of the food, that is to say the majority of food left Icefire didn't eat on the way there, and the rest that made it back now lined the Titans' shelves.
Azul sighed as she and Icefire went back to Azul's guest room so they could talk things over, with out having to worry about their titan relatives.
"Oh X'halthat Clorbag Varblernelk!" Icefire growled as she read the text messages on her phone.
"What did Scudo do?" Azul sighed while thinking and why do i know Ayame had something to do with it.
"Just look" Icefire said before she started cursing in Tamaranean.
Azul took the phone and began to read, her eye twitched and she dropped the phone faster than her brother says tofu. "GOD that Italian, and Nightmare thought I was sick"
Just as Icefire grabbed her phone, Azul's started to ring.
"Hola" Azul said surprised by the call, slightly worried.
"Bonjour bleu, can I speak to mon petit frère s'il vous plaît ? " Ayame's voice sang sweetly in to the phone. (for those of you who don't speak frenglish here's what she said "hello blue, can I speak to my little brother please?")
"No, Ayame he'll kick us out if he finds out about you, if we wait till everyone else gets here then they only way they'd get us out is by force. And God knows the titans couldn't kick all of us out if they tried, we know everything about them thanks to the internet and snooping, and they don't know a thing about us, so there would be no way they could win a fight against us. Plus we can hide easily and hack their security system." Azul smiled amused at the thought of the titans trying to kick them out.
"But why do we have to go one at a time?" Ayame whined wishing they could just all go to see them together.
Icefire heard Ayame's complains and took the phone from Azul "Because meeting more than one of the Z-team members at once is considered a health hazard and a good way to get a restraining order against us …..again"
"Mysteria and the other People" Ayame shot back loudly, due to the fact she shouted and Icefire had just put it on speaker.
Then from somewhere in the background on Ayame's end an Italian accent called out "Titans Europe."
"The Titan Patrol" Azul yelled back, thoroughly annoyed.
"Can I please talk to mon petit frère?" Ayame asked sweetly, hoping to get a different answer if they were distracted.
"NO KUPLJUF!" Icefire shouted in a rage. (kupljuf= Stupid, this is supposed to be Tamaranean, no Google translate for Tamaranean )
This continued for about ten minutes, till Azul stopped finding it amusing and broke them up.
"Fine you can speak to him Ayame but it has to be in French and you can only say hi" Azul sighed knowing she didn't want to deal with this for the rest of the day.
"MERCI BLEU" Ayame cheered then addressed Icefire, "stupide nosicle"
"kupljuf frenchie" Icefire returned in a voice similar to how you would treat a hated co-worker in front of your boss.
Azul and Icefire then walked into the titans living quarters and found Robin sleeping in his investigation room. Azul then smiled evilly and turn the in-call volume all the way up and placed the speaker by his ear. Icefire held in her laugh and texted Ayame that she could say hi now.
"Bonjour, petite Richie" Ayame greeted happily (in case you're wondering Richie is what Robin used to go by as a child till he went to Wayne Manner and wanted to be called Dick for some reason) (if you haven't caught on yet here is what she said "Hello little Richie")
Robin began to stir and Azul and Icefire decided it was now a good time to split before he puts one and one together.
Shortly after the girls left Robin was having an awful nightmare, he began to mumble in his sleep "No Ayame I don't wanna wear that dress…no…stop…help….AHHHHHH"
Starfire heard a scream from the investigation room and immediately flew to Robin's aid. "Robin, what is the cause of your distress?" she asked concerned.
"It's nothing Star I just had a nightmare about a demon…but she is safely in France" Robin reassured her.
"Do you have the phobia of demons? If so are you scared of friend Raven?" Starfire asked confused.
"No I'm not scared of demons and I'm not scared of Raven…..most of the time anyway. I was talking about my sister and she's more of a devil than a demon when I think about it." Robin concluded.
"If she is a devil then is France another way to say hell or the world that is under? I also thought you had to undertake in the wrong doing in order to have a devil go after you. Tell me Robin, what did you do that was so heinous?" Starfire asked even more confused than before.
"France is country not hell, I'm not sure what I did to get stuck with her, besides the fact I was born into the same family." Robin puzzled mostly on how they got to this point in the conversation.
"So your sister was a devil sent to kill you for being born, and because of her actions she was sent to France." Starfire concluded.
"Yes…..well no she isn't really a devil she is a human that's really annoying, Batman sent her to a year around boarding school in France for gifted children when she was six, I haven't seen her since. I dreamt she was back and trying to put me in a dress and play "feeding time" with the tigers at our circus….again"
"What?" Starfire was so confused her eyebrows knit together.
Robin laughed, She is so cute when she's confused….and determined….and happy, she just cute in general. "Forget it Star lets go get some breakfast" He smiled and then gave her a sweet kiss.
"Robin after we are done with the breaking of the fast may we visit the mall of shopping with Azul and my sister?" Starfire asked giving him her puppy eyes
"It's fine with me, you have to ask them though" And just as Robin said that Starfire was off in search of Azul and Icefire.
"Hello Robin" a hard tone called from behind him.
"Hey Ice your sister is looking for you" Robin replied as he turned around.
"I am aware of that but I was looking for you, may we talk in….private" Icefire's tone was a little more expressive that monotone but was still heavily guarded and she would not me his gaze.
"Umm….sure is something wrong" Robin asked as he opened the door to the investigation room.
The minute both of them were in the room Icefire locked the door. Robin was immediately suspicious, but before he could do anything he had duct tape over his mouth and Icefire had an icy hand on his neck and had him against the wall.
"You listen and you listen good, that fact you are dating my sister without my permission had me pissed off, but since you seem like a stand up guy I allow it, but one false move, you hurt her in any way or she gets pregnant before you marry her I'll put you through torture that is considered cruel on Tameran and will make you wish for death even if its slow UNDERSTAND?" Icefire growled her eyes glowing in an intense stare down.
Robin nodded and the ice that held him to the wall retreated, his neck felt warm again and he fell flat on his face, Icefire showed no mercy as she ripped the tape from his mouth and used her hand to muffle his cry.
"Oh and as far as you know this never happened, unless you want to be a human popsicle?" Icefire glared at a still groaning Robin.
"I get it will you help me up my legs are still deforesting" Robin snapped. Stay strong their people respect that , plus then if I don't I won't be able to date Starfire , because I'll be dead or…worse he thought.
"Sure" Icefire tone soften and she smiled slightly, "Knork'gorb" (knork'gorb = brother in law in Tamaranean)
"What did you call me?" Robin asked suspiciously still alittle shaken after his near death experience.
"You worry too much Knork'gorb" Icefire giggled and left the room.
Robin sighed and left as well, and found his team eating various pastries and baked goods, that he was pretty sure weren't there last night.
"Where did this food come from?" Robin asked confused, although it was partly because the blue mold in the fridge was gone.
"Icefire and Azul did the shopping of groceries before we had awakened" Starfire smiled and handed Robin a muffin.
"We only picked up baked goods and a few jams, and we cleaned alittle" Icefire pointed out.
"You all have been very generous and kind, we thought we'd return the favor" Azul chimed before munching her cinnamon toast.
"Hope you don't mind Knork'gorb" Icefire smirked at Robin's "I'm dying to know what you said in English" face.
Before Robin could ask what that meant again Starfire's face light up "How wonderful my sister thinks kindly toward you, this glorious!"
"Well pending marriages always are wonderful" Icefire smiled broadly at her sister.
"WAIT WH.. what is going on?" Robin asked concerned greatly.
"You have not taught him much of our culture Koriand'r, I'm alittle surprised" Icefire said innocently, although was using all her strength not to laugh at Robin's face.
"Well on Tameran usually when a person dates a royal they considerate as if that person is going to do the proposing of marriage." Starfire said with an awkward smile at her very panicked boyfriend.
"Like as if you gave her a ring of promise" Icefire smirked broader, still holding in her laugh, at Robin who was now as red as his shirt.
"Usually they are not viewed as that until another member of the royal family has told them they will be punished if they are doing the dating for the prospect of money or power, or the thing that would be the scandalous-" Starfire explanation was interrupted by her sister.
"Like pregnancy before marriage, the dumping of the royal, extra although this relationship is already Scandalous, a royal has doing the dating of someone common is thought of as such, let alone someone of a species, although humans and Tamaraneans can breed." Icefire said calmly, enjoying torturing Robin like this.
"Yes it has not happened, but since you have given your approval it will seem less of the scandalous" Starfire looked gratefully at her sister.
"Wait, approval?" Robin asked bewildered.
"Yes, as I was saying it is viewed as a pending marriage after a royal family member has told them the rules and approves of the non-royal member" Starfire replied happily at her soon to be fiancé.
"So you are saying that when Icefire tried to kill me a few moments ago she was testing me!" Robin roared.
"Yep, its tradition to grill 'em or in this case freeze 'em." Icefire laughed happily at the poor boy wonder she tricked, "Knork'gorb is Tamaranean for brother in law".
"When Icefire called you that she gave you her approval so now we are considered….how would you describe it dear sister?" Starfire asked unsure how to say it in a way that they would understand.
"Congraz, you're on the marriage proposal waiting list" Icefire cheered.
Robin was frozen by not enough not to notice the other titans and Azul had been watching and were now talking amongst themselves, while Azul made alittle pile of money.
-What they other titans were saying while the other 3 were discussing the pending marriage-
"pobre chico, engañado por que carámbano estúpida" Azul sighed, "Ay He's turning kinda red… five pounds says he faints" (this is what she said, "poor guy, tricked by that stupid icicle")
"I have 10 bucks says Icefire takes her approval back" Beast boy proclaimed as he slammed his money on the table.
"I'm placing my bet with BB, knowing Rob he's gonna say something stupid and get his approval denied." Cybrog threw a 20 in the pile.
"I place my bet with Azul, Robin will faint and he'll get revoke later." Raven placed a five in the pile. Robin's emotions are overflowing if he doesn't faint, then I'm not an empath.
"I'll go get some popcorn" Azul turned into a cheetah and ran into the kitchen.
"I'll go get some drinks" Beast boy also turned into a cheetah and followed his sister to the kitchen.
"Ya know I kinda feel bad for him, he didn't even see this coming" Cyborg looked down at the pile with a little guilt.
"Yes, but he should have seen some of this coming he over analyzes everything else and he did know she was a princess." Raven stated flatly as usual.
"Hey I'm just glad it's not me" Beast boy interjected as he walked in with a large tray of glasses.
"No kidding" Azul chimed as she handed Raven the popcorn, "What I miss?"
Raven began retelling Azul and Beast boy what happened and then they all turned back to watch.
-We have now caught up-
"Are YOU TAKING BETS?" Robin growled.
"Well, que no vi que se viniendo, I had nothing to do with this" Azul denied as she gave the others a look of disapproval. (this is what she said "well I didn't see that coming")
"You STARTED IT!" Beast boy yelled at her knowing that he would most likely be the fall guy.
"I DON'T CARE WHO STATED IT, YOU ALL HAVE ON ADDITIONAL HOUR OF TRAINING!" Robin shouted at the top of his lungs.
"YOU ARE NOT MY LEADER YOU ESTUPIDO GRINGO!" Azul growled him.
Robin now forgetting his teams crimes and realized he was being a terrible host, "Sorry Azul its umm…. Just I used to just us titans…..he..he" He laughed uneasily under her hard gaze.
"Please let us not fight, we are friends, lets journey to the mall of shopping to do the bonding" Starfire interjected all of them.
"Do they have a book store?" Azul asked happily distracted.
"Yeah I can show you" Raven gave a small smile happy to find someone who enjoyed reading.
"Alright, I can get some more parts for my baby" Cyborg smiled happily at the thought of his car.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Icefire chuckled at everyone's eagerness.
Next chapter
Things get worse and Azul first attempt at matchmaking! Plus Icefire forced to go clothes shopping with Starfire.
answer to last ch's question
Cypborg: Enough with the robot jokes already!(growls looking down)...yes