Jean awoke, that next morning. It being the 'next' simply on his own knowledge of time that is.
As soon as his emerald hues were mildly exposed to the shining light, was his arm swung over to shield his eyes. However, that brung a pain all of its own.
He gave a hiss, moving his hand to the back of his head, where bandages were placed.
"What happened... And, where am I?" Jean questioned himself, as his vision came into better focus, upon him sitting up in the bed.
The blanket over him, slipped down, allowing cool air to hit the top part of his chest that was absent of any bandage.
Jean hadn't a clue where he was or what he was even doing here at first.
His gaze went to a chair within the room, where his shirt and pants laid folded neatly with his shoes on top, his jacket being on the back of the furniture with his scarf lying over it.
Without giving it a second thought, he stood to his feet. His hand gripped the edge of the nightstand next to his bed as he regained his balance.
How could this be? Him this weak? He refused this!
He gave a grunt, jerking his hand away from the wood and stumbling over to the chair where his clothes laid.
He grabbed the shoes, sitting them down to the floor for the time being until he was properly dressed.
Jean slipped into the shirt, slow and careful to avoid as much pain as he could from injuries that he didn't know of until now.
As the shirt was being buttoned, he looked around the place.
It was familiar, and it came to him; this was the hospital he found himself at years ago. Whether he was in the same bed as his dear Fantine once laid on or not, he didn't know.
Oddly enough, that memory didn't stick very long however. No, as cold as it sounds, Fantine was hardly of his thinking these days.
His mind would always drift to Javert, just like now.
Jean stared out into the walk way between the beds as he finished up the final buttons and reached for his vest.
He remembered it clearly, their fight.. How much passion Javert seemed to have with each swing of his sword.. Looking back now, Jean wished he would've surrendered. If he knew what Javert would've really wanted of him, he wouldn't have ran.. Wouldn't have escaped in the ice-cold waters that night.
Looking back now, he wouldn't have done a lot of things and yet, there's so much he wished he would've.
The mayor took a deep sigh, trying to shake the thought of the man he missed most. Why couldn't he forget him like he forgot what happened to himself nights ago?
"Oh dear sir, you're awake!" The nurse exclaimed as she made her way down the rows of beds. "You shouldn't be up and about!" She added.
"Nonsense, I'am perfectly fine madam." Jean responded with a reassuring smile, throwing the coat on over his shoulders.
"I mean you no disrespect but you're not well enough to be walking around." She fought back.
"I appreciate the concern but, I feel nothing." He lied simply. "I must get home to my daughter, she's probably worried sick over me." He added, wrapping his scarf around his neck.
"Cosette?" The nurse inquired.
For a brief moment, the mayor's eyes widened. Not many knew her name for she rarely was out.
He gave merely a nod.
"She was just here. She left half an hour before you woke. She's been here every morning these past three days." The nurse spoke.
"Three days?" Jean asked quickly.
The nurse nodded once. "That's how long you were out. I didn't know if you were to wake up again or not. I never told Cosette that. I always reassured her faith, I did."
Jean took a moment's silence, looking down at the floor underneath his bare feet. "Say, do you know how I came to be here?" He questioned, his gaze back onto the woman.
"A man brung you here last Wednesday. He came, saying you had gotten into a fight."
"A man!? What did he look like? What was his name?" Jean pushed further. He had to know!
"He did not say his name. He came to me late that night.. His jacket and hands were stained with blood, whether it be yours or whoever elses, I don't know.." She trailed off, taking a look down herself to further gather her thoughts up.
"He looked to be up in his years judging by the grey of his hair and the wrinkles under his eyes. He also wore a blue uniform. I suspect he was an officer."
"I should've known!" Jean growled, taking a seat in the chair in order to rush his shoes on.
Javert was here, alive. Jean wasn't going crazy, he was here! Jean had to find him.
"He seemed to be rather worried of you. He didn't want to let you go when he brung you in.. I don't think he trusted us with tending to your wounds."
Javert care what they done? That seemed unlike him.
"He stayed and watched until you were safely in one of the beds and were being tend to. I looked back, going to urge him to stay but he was already gone, the sound of hooves echoing into the night."
Jean stood, now fully back in his clothing. "I have to find him, I must." With the knowledge that Javert was actually here and his sightings weren't just the ghost of a man he loved, he needed to find him.
"You need to stay here! You're severely hurt. You're all bruised up, with possible cracked ribs and a broken jaw, you need to return to bed."
Jean ignored her, making his way to the door.
There was only one thing on his mind. No person or injury would stop him from achieving it either.
As he stumbled out into the cold air of the street, he looked about, through the people trying to spot one in particular again.
With luck proving to be on his side once more, he spotted a certain dark bay horse that was carrying a certain blue clothed officer.
The man was stopped at a fruit stand, looking over the options.
Jean didn't care about that though.
"Javert!" He exclaimed despite his discomfort, gaining the soldiers attention briefly.
Before another word could leave Jean's lips, Javert gave a kick to the horses sides and he was off.
"Oh no you don't, this time you're mine!" Jean growled, taking a look around at what was in front of him.
A horse was tied to a post just outside one of the buildings. There it was, his chance. Finally!
Jean ran over to the creature, climbing up into the saddle.
"Hey, that's my horse!" Came the shout from a man who ran out of the building.
"Don't fret, I'm briefly borrowing him. I'll return him to you by the end of the day." Jean responded, taking hold of the reins in both hands.
All further shouts of the stranger was left behind within the click of metal against brick as he chased after Javert.
The hunter now being the hunted, Jean never thought he'd see the day but he had to admit, it was thrilling.
Having the wind clash against him, following wildly through the horse's mane and his hair as both hearts raced was a rush.
It gave him energy he'd never known, gave him his strength back.
He wondered if this is how Javert felt all those years ago, with every chase.. When he finally caught what he wanted.
Jean wanted to experience that, the feeling of adrenaline pulsing rapidly through his veins from a long-awaited victory.
As his horse closed in beside the dark bay, a smirk came forth from Jean. He was so close! So painfully and excitingly close!
"I've got you now." He spoke, with confidence burning strong within him.
Javert gave merely a glance back his way, before scouting out a new route.
"You underestimate me." His words were nearly a whisper, as he leaned slightly forward, giving another kick to the horse.
Jean's eyes widened, as Javert once again got a head of him.
"I've wanted this too much, I'm not letting you get away!" He roared, not caring who would hear. After all, they wouldn't know what he ment. As far as their concerns went, he could've been after this man to kill.
Javert clenched his jaw as the younger closed in once more. Why was this man so persistent? What did he have to gain from this?
"Learn your place scum!" Javert shouted the insult, stirring his horse to the right, clashing into Jean's.
The mayor was in a brief struggle to keep his horse balanced and staying on a straight path but like all things in his life, he gained the control back.
"I need to talk with you!" Talk? Ha, if Jean wasn't caught up in the moment, he would've let a laugh out. More like, tie the man up and force him to listen.
"I don't long to waste a moment's time with such filth as yourself!" Javert shot back, with a harsh glare.
Jean nearly gasped. Why not just take the sword and stab him in the chest? What's gotten into this man? He was suddenly back to him old self.. It shouldn't be a surprise but it was.
"I'am the law, and the law won't be seen with the likes of you." Was Javert's final statement as he neared a clear shot to an alley way.
Before Jean could speak a word of response, Javert had gotten further ahead of him and took the turn.
"I refuse to let you get away!" The mayor pulled right on the horses reins, in hopes of staying on Javert's trail. However, to his misfortune, it had rained that morning and the streets were wet.
With the quick change of direction, his horse slipped and lost his footing. Down they went.
"You stupid beast!" Jean growled, as the horse fell to the side, trapping his left leg.
"My horse, what the hell have you done!?" The stranger from earlier asked in panic at the sight of his animal down.
"It was not me but your horse! This creature is useless!" Jean snapped, attempting to move out from under the animal.
His gaze went to the alley way right off and there he was, horse standing still and he sitting as straight as ever, as if mocking Jean.
"Forget me, 24601!" Javert yelled, before rearing his horse up then disappearing into the shadows of the alley way.
Jean gave nothing more than a groan of frustration, bringing a fist too collide with the brick road.
"Papa!" Suddenly, Cosette's voice rang through the street, snapping Jean out of his focus on Javert.
"Are you alright?" She asked as the horse was now being took away.
"I'am fine." Jean answered, placing both hands against the road, to support him as he stood.
Cosette leaned down, placing an arm around his, offering her help.
Jean jerked away from her. "Get your hands off me! I don't need your help, I don't need your sympathy."
Cosette's eyes widened in shock, as she took a step back. She wasn't use to this personality.
"Papa, what's become of you? I don't know what to do.. This person I've never knew, this person that is you.. You're somebody new.. Somebody who's grown cold.." She trailed off, watching as the man stood back to his feet.
"I fear, secretly in my heart I do. I fear this harsher man that's come to be.. I try to help, I try to please.. Yet, you're always angry with me."
Jean stared at her, momentarily. He couldn't believe what his daughter was saying.
"My dear Cosette, is that what you see? Is that what you really think of me?"
Cosette nodded.
"I assure you, my child, you have done nothing wrong. You have nothing to fear, nothing to worry. It is not you, but a man who has angered me. This man, I want so bad to see, to speak with.. But he always runs, he always flees.." He couldn't find it in him to look her in the eye, only stare at the shining brick under him.
"Who is this person you speak of? He must be like a ghost in the night, for I have never seen him. What is he to you? What has he done? Why must you be so persistent of chasing a man that's always on the run? He clearly wants not a thing to do with you, so why continue to go after a lost cause? I don't understand.. Why you're this tenacious over such an uncaring man."
Jean gave a sigh, meeting unsure eyes again. "I can not explain my sweet Cosette, this is something that's personal, this is my own mess. Do not worry though, I will be alright. I'll make it through this fight." A fight it seemed, indeed and he was struggling to win, like before in his fight for his life.
She was still unsure and full of worry, Jean could tell. His poor daughter, he was all she had. He understood where she was coming from but this was his battle, she need not concern herself with it.
"Come, let's go home and rest. Tomorrow's another day, a new adventure." He instructed suddenly.
"But papa, your leg.. You should let the nurse check it out." Cosette frowned.
Jean gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, it's nothing I can't handle." He replied with certainty in his voice.
He wasn't fine, he knew that but he wasn't going to be stuck in some hospital for days when he had a mission.
The girl nodded.
There was no arguing back.
Cosette placed an arm around her fathers waist and one of his around her neck in return. He didn't like it, but he didn't wish to hurt her again thus he allowed the aid as she led him to an empty carriage.
Jean took his place on the right side of the carriage, his attention focused on the world outside even as the horse begun to trot off.
Cosette gave the occasional glance toward her father, still worried. She would always worry. But she said nothing. It would be a lost cause.
Jean was a grand man, but he kept so much hidden from her and she knew this but she would never force it out of him.
The night, after checking on Cosette, Jean got ready for his own comfortable bed. Still, in the warmth of his home his thoughts did not leave him.
He was so close, it was surreal that Javert escaped. All because of some stupid clumsy horse.
Jean Valjean was a good man yes and he didn't wish for anything bad to come to anyone, not even those who had harmed him years ago but he would've loved to see that horse get a good whipping of some sort. All because it blew his chances.
Jean gave a sigh, unbuttoning his shirt.
"24601, is that all I've become? Is that all I've ever been to you, Javert, my friend.." Jean begun, staring down, watching as the water poured from the bathtub faucet.
"I thought there was more, that night we were together.. I thought you felt what I did, I thought compassion and ever lasting love lied there, hidden within such a brutal man.. I thought finally, you cared... But no, it was all show.. You care? You couldn't, you wouldn't even dare." He slipped the shirt off.
"Jean Valjean, does that name mean nothing? Am I still not a man, not a person, just a slave to you? 24601, with that number you continue to dig my grave.. You continue to kill Jean Valjean.." Jean took a deep breath, feeling the tears already about to fall.
"Try as I may, fight with all my might, I'm losing this battle.. This game of cat and mouse.. I've never been the victor, not then, not now.. It will never differ." He frowned.
"You are the law yes, but what reason does that give you to treat me less than a human all because of this? Our mess... You claim you're so brave, so strong.. Yet, you run, you cower away when things go wrong.. You're no less scum than me, no more than just a rat out on the street. Everytime I think we can come see each other again.. Everytime I think I can learn the feelings of a closed up man, you run. You don't wish to face what's put in front of you. You don't wish to face what is real." He took a look around the room, spotting the one thing he thought that could only bring him relief at this moment.
"That's alright though I suppose. I'm nothing to you, just a one time thing. You can not feel love, you're just a heartless creature.. I was a fool to think I could change you, into someone different, someone new." He made his way over to the sink, picking up the razor that laid upon the edge of the porcelain.
"I'll let it go, I won't no longer care. You'll never be here so why should I worry? I'll surrender this fight. I refuse to go on living as your slave, I refuse to continue to wear these heavy chains of love, knowing it's only a one way street.. I'll surrender my fight, and with this, I'll surrender my life tonight.. The life of a dog, it means nothing after all. If I can't have you Javert, I have not a thing to live for." He moved the razor inches above his wrist.
"24601, with that number you continue to dig my grave.. You continue to kill Jean Valjean. This means nothing now! 24601 will be dead, Jean Valjean will be no more!"
"PAPA!" Cosette exclaimed just before he gave the flick of his wrist.
Jean jumped, startled and within the process the razor was flung across the room, landing under the bathtub.
"Have you gone mad!?" The woman asked in shock and even rage that her father would think of such a thing.
"Cosette.." That's all he could speak, her name. He had not a thought of what else to say.
"What's going on? What is wrong?" She asked, frowning.
"Nothing of your concern. More importantly, what are you doing in here at this hour? Aren't you suppose to be in bed?" He questioned.
"I heard you, singing.. I grew worried and came to check on you." She replied, her eyes connected with his.
"Have you been crying papa?" She asked, seeing the red over white.
Jean looked away from her, rubbing the tears that still lurked within his hues away. "No, I have not." He denied.
"Who is 24601? Who is Javert?" She pushed further.
Jean returned his gaze to her, surprised. She must've heard everything!
"My dear, you are too young to worry with such troubles I'am facing. They are my burden to carry, not yours."
"Do you love this Javert?" Cosette refused to give up.
It was a second of silence. One of which seemed far too long for a worried Cosette.
"No." Jean answered. A lie if he has ever told one. He could push it away, deny everything and put on an act like he use to but it was still there. His love. His stubborn heart refused to let go.
"It matters not to me if you love another man papa." She reassured.
Jean half way smiled. It warmed his heart, at least she'd not judge him. Still, there was nothing to confess, of a man who was not there. "I do not love him. I do not love for anyone, except you my daughter, my family. That is the only love I have ever known." He turned his smile into a full one just to better cover up the lie.
"Go back to bed." He ordered softly.
"If I leave you, will you be alright?" She questioned.
"Yes, I will be just fine. I just had a moments of weakness but you Cosette, have brung me back around to my old self." He continued to assure.
"Alright then. Goodnight." She turned, making her way out.
"Goodnight Cosette." Jean watched, until she disappeared into the hallway.
His attention then went under the tub. No. He wouldn't reach for the razor. What man was that? A weak man if there ever was one and Jean Valjean wasn't weak. He was strong, too strong for such tactics.
He walked over to the bathtub, turned the faucet off before discarding the rest of his clothing and climbing into the warm water.
It helped to relax him, ease his aches and pains from harder days and even his fight from 3 nights ago. Yet, he kept his stare to the other end. It would be nice, to have someone there, staring right back at him.
Javert gave a deep sigh with the first stroke of the brush that came in contact with his trusty steeds pelt.
It was dark, he got in late but nonetheless he wouldn't neglect his horse the grooming it needed after a hard days work, or a hard days running away. Away from what he wanted more than anything..
"Me in love, how can this be? To fall for a no one, to fall for the slave, the thief 24601.." He trailed off.
"This can't be real, what I feel I never have felt before.. Kindness, compassion.. That makes not for the man I'm required to play.." He moved the first brush alongside the stallions fur.
"Born in a jail, born with scum but raised from birth to obey, to do what I'am told, that was what I had learned from the first day.. That is me, all I'am, all I will ever be. I was trained from the start to not feel, to not have a heart." He moved the second brush over where the first had previously stroked.
"Yet try as hard as I might, I can't forget.. He's always there within my mind.. This love, I feel for him makes even the law seem blind.." He moved down to the horses back haunch, continuing the grooming.
"He thinks I felt nothing, he does not know that throughout these years I've missed everything about him.. His sweet delicate kiss, that is what I miss most of all." Javert finished up, sitting the brushes back on the wooden shelf. He gave a pat to the horse's neck, said his goodnight and turned to exit the barn.
"He thinks I didn't care,he thinks he has not the love of Javert.. If only he could know, to be with him one more time is what I've been wishing throughout these years I fooled him to think I had gone missing.." He entered the doorway to the rather large house he lived in.
"I use to think it was he who had sinned but, no it was not he but me by creating a mess that I feel can never mend.." Javert lightly let his hand glide along the rail of the stairs as he made his way up to his room.
"It is me who has fallen from grace, fallen from God.. All because every waking moment, I long again to see his face.." He closed the door to his room and begun to slip out of his jacket, then his shirt.
"That is what's wrong. I'm scared of what could be.. Scared of the Lord and the law. This, what I feel is forbidden.. To be with him would be to continue sinning.." He undone his trousers, letting them fall to the floor.
"But yet with that being said, I long to break the law of life even so, because of him, because of 24601.. Because of Jean Valjean.. Because of this thing called love." He reached down, grabbing the gown that was laid upon his bed and slipped into it.
"This is not lust like I intended. No this is not lust, to have him with me, in my arms after all these long hard years, it's a must.. For to live without him is my one true fear.. I need him here." Javert climbed into the soft feather bed.
"Yes, Jean Valjean - my friend, don't you worry, don't you fret. We will meet again.. And then, my friend I'll make the wrong right, with you again... With just one night, I will make it right. Until then, I hope you rest my friend." He leaned over to the nightstand, blowing out the candle.
With the darkness, came peace. Javert was wore and within no time did he find his well deserved rest.
Hope you all enjoyed it. :D
More to come, I promise.
And yes, the songs are once again mine. Damn, I didn't think I had that in me! Lol.
Anyway, thank you for reading so far. Stay tuned wonderful people.