A simple plan, as he had perceived it to be, a piece of cake took the whole morning to put up with his agents. His hand went to the back of his neck, trying to rub off the tension and weariness that had fallen over him, his eyes shutting against the winter sunlight bathing his office.
"Paul, are you listening?" The skinny petite Blonde threw at him with a mixture of amusement and worry.
"Yes Charlotte, of course." He spoke out in a sigh rubbing his eyes.
He lay back in his chair, a little puzzled by her sudden posture as she sat cross-legged on his desk. Paul had made it clear for her all over these last years that she would always be the kind and best buddy like friend to his eyes and it made him wanna smile at her stubborn nature. She was still determined to win him over.
Charlotte has been the partner agent, manager and pillar he had been sort of braced for when it came to his job, the woman who had overlooked his messy past and deeds, and was determined to get him where he is now. For all her support it brought out the best of him regarding the extent of his care for her.
"It's risky to exceed the budget" Paul decided finally.
"You should talk…you're all about risks" her playful mood made him smile and shake his head.
He rose from his seat, determined to catch a break for a little while. "I need to grab a bite. We'll talk about it after lunch."
She hurried to his side, taking his arm "or during desert."
Paul looked at her in a mix of suspicion and undeniable amusement. There was no way she meant that innocently.
"Charlotte, come on." He admonished, before making himself sound more serious, though the look on his face kept playful "don't you ever get tired trying your luck. It ain't getting you anywhere."
"You've known me for years, do you have to ask?" she spoke with a graceful proud look before speaking confidently "I still bet you'll come around."
He could see the scowl she was trying to repress. It wasn't really all that funny anymore, sure she was beautiful and undeniably attractive but when you come to know a person for years… He'd come to think of her as a buddy, could exceed shy-driven limits with her like he would with a buddy too. And then more as a little sister even though she wasn't a thing like Kristine. And considering the amount of dubious situations he'd gotten her out of he was surprised she didn't think of him as a big brother as well.
And even though he couldn't say he'd been flattered by the attention she'd shown him he knew he hadn't been a real jerk either. He had never taken advantage of her or even given her the one night she would have begged for, though the occasion presented itself more than once while he spent evenings at her place, because he knew she would have wanted more. In fact he considered that by enjoying her interest and never taking advantage of it but never really putting a brutal ending to it, he'd been half way between the good guy and the first class jackass.
With more consideration he would have observed that's where he'd been standing all his life, right between the good guy and the bad guy. And she – the one he unfortunately didn't consider as a buddy but whose attention was unavailable –deserved the good guy. The better man.
He was forced to pull himself out of his thoughts as he felt Charlotte's hand climbing on his arm, sort of dangerously nearing his chest, and for a second he was ashamed to realize he appraised her as if she was a dangerous wild animal as he thought of how to stop her, as he had done a couple of times before. It had just come out naturally: remove that hand from his body, restrict her at arm's length, and don't let her mouth come anywhere near. It would be a lot simpler than to simply worry about not hurting her feelings…

"Charlotte," he repeated, a bit more serious this time, "seriously, you – you gotta quit this…like… now" he turned his half professional smile towards her.
But apparently she wasn't so sure of his true thoughts, considering the genuine surprise on her face when he firmly removed her hand – maybe he'd just been too brutal, or maybe for the past seven years he just hadn't been brutal enough. And that look on her face, maybe it was his fault deep down, because he'd never put a true end to it. Had it been this stupid? Couldn't he have seen that it was crueler to let it go on? After all, it hurts to stick around for years and to realize the feeling will just never be mutual. And again he found himself thinking of Sara, a bit annoyed. Did he really have to think of her now? Did he really have to think of her all the time? He was facing a woman he cared about, a woman he spent what felt like an eternity with, pouring out his thoughts and moods to her, the woman he knew he was about to hurt and all he could think about was Sara. At least she'd had the decency to be clear, she'd told him to stay the hell away from her, when it had first started. He'd chosen to stick around anyway. Maybe he had this coming, he helplessly thought, looking back at Charlotte.
"Look, Char." he said and there was nothing but clarity in his voice, "after all we've been through together I'm pretty sure you know we are only friends to each other, that'll never change in my book, so please give it a break woman." he felt like the word buddy might have been too cruel, "it's how I feel, how I always will feel, I'm sorry if I led you to believe otherwise."
"Otherwise?" She repeated with a humorless chuckle of – he couldn't quite place his finger on it – disbelief. "Paul, where is this coming from?"
"It's not coming from anywhere, Charlotte, it's the truth." He was careful with his words, careful to sound just brutal enough so this little game wouldn't go on anymore, also careful not to sound the slightest bit compassionate – if she noticed one bit of pity in his voice she'd slap him and be out the door without leaving him the time to realize his mistake. "It's pure fact." He finished placidly, but he knew she could hear the emotion in his voice she had learned to distinguish over the years, "I'm sorry." He added.
She chuckled again, still mirthlessly, a bit sarcastic now though.
"Honey," she said, "I'm gonna be a real pain here, but this really isn't the impression you gave me when we first met."
"And it's probably not the impression I got in the first place, because then you were an attractive woman I didn't know and now you're Charlotte. You're my friend, I care much about you."
This time he detected an ounce of humor in her voice.
"Meaning you reject me – because you care about me?"
He chuckled too, about as joyless as her.
"Well," he shrugged, "didn't know? I tend to destroy everything I care about."
They both remained silent for a while, until he wondered.
"Was I really never clear?" He asked, genuinely curious.
"Honestly?" She said, "No. It just always felt like the two of us were playing mouse and cat and eventually one of us would find the other. That's how I've always felt about us."
"Well I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. Know why?" He gulped at her smirk; her apology was of full determination "if you want me to stop, than you'll have to kick me out of your life. I stood a chance in the past and I believe it's still there somewhere" She simply stated.
"Charlotte, that's not –"
"It's the truth," she simply stated, "you might have not wanted something serious before but you wouldn't have minded taking me out on a date, or the way that date would have ended, trust me. Something changed you in between."
He would have left it there, maybe taken her to have lunch so he could make it up to her but she was faster than him, taking him by surprise.
She pondered on a random number, "four years ago, if I'd made a clear offer you would have taken it."
"Okay," he sighed, complaining "good. Now I've had it. Nice seeing you Charlotte." He headed for the door but by the time he'd turned around she'd already spoken.
"It's that woman, isn't it?"
He should have kept walking away but instead he found his hand freezing on the doorknob.
"The one you exonerated." His friend went on, no longer resenting though, or maybe a tiny bit resenting, he decided as she laughed, "That'd just be so you Paul, to fall for the one woman you made sure could never love you."
He turned back to face her, just so maybe he could let go of that freaking knob, "I hate to be rude, Charlotte, but since this is my office you're gonna have to head out too."
"You know you can kick me out, Paul," she shrugged, "it doesn't mean you won't be calling me drunk in the middle of the night two months from now, or maybe even sooner."
"Funny, usually you're the one who makes the drunk-late phone calls." He couldn't keep off the joking tone he always used with her.
"What goes around comes around, Sweetie." She flirted sashaying his way.

"Sure thing. See you around char." The tender brotherly stare his eyes threw her way, kept her standing there. Although she did get what he meant by the door he held open until she let herself out, only turning back around to add one more thing, "You know you ruined it with her," she simply said, "and it's so much like you to destroy all the chances you get of happiness that I'm not gonna take it personally. But as your friend, I'll give you an advice." She leant in closer to him and he would have pulled away if he didn't know for sure she wasn't that desperate, instead he kept still and she simply pressed a light yearning kiss on his cheek, before she finished. "Maybe it's time you stop running after what you know you can't catch and seriously consider moving on."
He intentionally let her words float in his head as he watched her walk away and close the door behind her, before he let them flow right out of his mind.

…

The street and traffic lights, the noises of the cars and taxis hooting and flying past her made Sara walk faster with Kristine by her side, she hadn't been down town for almost a month, let alone spending an evening there. Accompanying her friend to that fundraising gala dinner had been a tough decision to make, after much insistence from Kristine and after finding a trustworthy babysitter for M.J, her colleague finally talked her into tagging along.
Upon entering the gate of that fashionable place, her slight premature regret vanished as the doorman gracefully offered to take her coat. She looked up the enormous place. This was no dinner. That was definitely a modern like ball in which the people present were dressed like royalty.
"I did you get yourself invited to this kind of event?" She couldn't help ask her friend who smiled back proudly, unwilling to reveal who demanded their presence. Sara's guess was that it had to do with Charity offered to the hospital or something, 'it must be,' she thought. In any case, she was more than glad to have chosen this fantastic dress to appear in.
Not a soul she knew though. Kristine was kind enough to introduce Sara to a group of her acquaintance. Sara's face changed color at the mention of her stained past and the role Paul Kellerman played in it. She couldn't deny how odd it felt to hear only good about the man, the man she somehow couldn't erase from her thoughts.
Not one day had passed where he didn't cross her mind. For mere minutes, she had let him linger in her thinking before angrily fighting the bizarre demeanor she had developed when it came to Paul, ever since her exoneration.
Her eyes fixed on the buffet not too far away, distracted by the abundant beautifully presented food left for the guests.
Her appetite suddenly vanished, turning into an initiating nausea caused by her instant nervousness. The sight of the last person she expected to see standing by that table froze her in place. A sheer tiny voice wondered who the petite blond woman was. She had never seen her before. It was stranger still to see the emotions she seemed to draw from Paul, he had never looked more at ease than he did now. The intruding voice of Kristine, entered her mind as she took in the words coming out of her. "Didn't I mention it was Paul who set this entire dinner party up?"
Sara slowly shifted her eyes to glare at her playfully treacherous friend and was satisfied to see the utter unease and comprehension don her face. "He doesn't know I invited you over…come on. I know you're not the best friends in the world but at least you can be civil to each other."
Self-consciousness crept on Sara like a sliding snake, making her realize how nicely she got dressed, and for what? So that the man she was so confused about could find her there right in front of him.
What she feared most followed immediately. His smiling face turned to her direction. Her breath hitched at the changing expression from joy to startle than utter dazzle.
She almost turned to her heels and ran off as he muttered words of excuse and started slowly towards her. Instead of acting on impulse, her feet just wouldn't move, keeping her fixed in place.
She took the glass of whatever beverage Kristine offered her, not really caring if there was any alcohol in it, unconsciously aware she was in need of some right now. She watched in silence, the man who had once been her enemy number one and was now… some type of riddle she couldn't figure out her own feelings for, greet his sister quietly with a peck to the cheek before her friend purposely left them alone.
"Wow you look…different-truly elegant." He spoke uncomfortably, glancing at her with unhidden dazzled eyes.
She cleared her throat, forcing her body to recover before taking a sip of the thick white cold drink. "Thank you." She muttered lowly, looking away, willing to flee.
"So what did it take for K to drag you down here? Never thought I'd see you around any time soon."
"Yeah well neither did I." The retort escaped her before she could have a handle over it, still resenting him for not showing up after their last encounter in his office. One peek at his face and she knew the blow was equal to a slap on his face.
"It might sound as a lame excuse but there was no free time for me to show up at your doorstep," he spoke freely, no longer trying to speak in codes and had no more patience for reading between lines either.
"Don't feel like you have to, Kellerman," she shot coldly, another slapping blow after the latter "you've done your part, right." She finished her drink in one gulp and rudely walked away before she heard him coming right behind her, complaining.

"When did I become Kellerman again?"
"Look," she sighed out, whirling to face him "it was a mistake coming here. I won't be weighting my presence on you any longer"
"Sara," the tender whisper of her name coming out of him, sent a jolting shiver au her spine, causing her eyes to meet his unwillingly, "don't leave… please." She gulped in panic as she saw his offered hand, "It's an honor to have you here. Let's call this a truce… do you dance?"
She didn't know if she had been standing there for an hour or just a couple of minutes while he expected her approval but she could think of millions of reasons to say no, to spit some god-awful words to his face and turn down his offer right then and there. Instead, as if enchanted, her hand landed on his lightly and she let him guide her to the dance floor.
Her hand set on his arm. She let out a shaky sigh exhaling the smell of his cologne. His head inched away a bit to look at her, "will you stay for my speech?"
The irony of this entire evening drew a mocking laugh from her, "what's so funny?" he questioned.
"This I guess," she muttered amusedly. He faked a confused face, spinning her slowly around.

"Me giving a speech or us dancing?"
"I mean us, here together." She spoke outright and he smirked a bit, looking away.

"Is running into me such a bad thing?"
She shook her head with a light smile, avoiding his eyes, "remind me never to speak to your sister again."
"Kristine meant well. Would you have come if you'd known?" his piercing blue eyes were mere inches from hers, making her more tense by the minute.
Her eyes caught the look of the mysterious blonde, whose gaze predatorily hooked on Paul. "Your former company's waiting on you." She claimed.
He looked over his shoulder and pursed his lips to hide his amusement, "you don't say," he looked at her again, swiftly adding "Charlotte is…special" he laughed a little at the embarrassing misunderstanding donning her face. "She's a great buddy…she was there whenever I needed her. I'm where I am, a little thanks to her."
Sara nodded slightly, crushing down the tiny hint of annoyance she felt towards that news. She had never thought Paul could have a close female friend, not after all the bloodshed he had caused. The memory of this made her conscious of her comfortable state of mind and how easy it became to be around him. It almost turned out to be good. And that she failed to wrap her mind around.

-

The night breeze got colder as she tightened her coat around her and strolled with a look up at the clear star lit sky.
Paul walked by her side quietly, intending to accompany her to where her Taxi waited. "You still mad that I didn't come by?"
"There is no way I'm answering that, since you wouldn't say why." She retorted sternly.
With a widening smile he stopped in front of her, standing near the taxi. "You beat me to it. You already have the answer to that Sara." She ignored the affectionate whisper of his voice, refusing to let any emotion creep onto her.
"Do I?" she mumbled, looking him straight in the eye. He looked back with dazzling hypnotizing eyes that carried a meaning she had no power to handle "do you have to ask?" his eyes spoke volumes of humongous attraction and sensations she had never detected in him before. The kind that made her want to take a step back and flee the hell away as far as possible.
This was Paul Kellerman, not some date that had some superfluous chance to woo her over. That would be out of line for either of them. She could hardly deal with the thought of them becoming friends, let alone imagining just for a second…no, there was no way she would ever let that even cross her mind.
She inhaled in slight panic, clearing her throat "uh- I gotta go…I'll see you around? Tell Kristine, I'll meet her in the morning."
Without leaving him the opportunity to reply, her hand grabbed the handle of the car door and swiftly opened it, hopping in and missing the proud look on Paul's face.
He had read her like an open book. He had not planned to bring about any doubt into her mind yet he just couldn't let her go without letting her know somehow. With one last look at the car taking off, he returned calmly to his dinner party, a little hopeful of their next encounter.