letters to cam

by oliviasaundersxx

"I feel alone here, And cold here, But I don't want to die" - Cut, The plumb. Two weeks after cam's death, Dallas isn't dealing with it well, He's becoming a stranger to himself. Not showing up to hockey, drinking and skipping classes. He starts writing to cam, will it help or just lead him farther down the same path that cam took?.

2. Chapter 2

22nd April 2013

dear cam,

i don't think im capable of feelings anymore

i can't smile, well i can, but not realistically, i can't even smile at my son.

Vanessa stopped coming over, she said that i can see him when i get myself figured out because the negativity is unhealthy for her and rocky, after she left i broke down crying.

did you see me, cam?

i went to school yesterday, people we're staring at me, a total of four people actually talked to me.

drew, fiona , luke and

ali.

she asked me how i was doing. but she knew the answer, everybody knew the answer, i wasn't doing.

i had managed to attend two days of a five day school week, get detention twice, and come to school drunk.

what happened to me?

i'm grasping onto reality cam, when you jumped off the school did you think that this would happen? probably not.

" guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death "

cam, i feel guilt, it runs through my veins like a drug, it is like pain, this familiar pang hits me when i hear you're name or see a picture of you.. it's guilt and it is slowly eating me away.

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i don't want to die cam.