Chapter 11

What does she mean she doesn't love me anymore? Spike clenched his jaw in frustration. It was good timing but…what did I do to make her stop loving me?

It was pissing him off not knowing. Hearing her say that…it had hurt more that anything… but he was still so shocked that it almost didn't seem real.

He wandered back to his crypt vaguely wondering where Drusilla had gotten to. Not that he cared. What do I do now? How do I go on living, when my raison d'être ceases to exist?

I guess it's a good thing I'm already dead.

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"Buffy! What's wrong?" Willow gasped as she opened the door to find her friend standing there, tears streaking down her face.

"My mother doesn't know who I am!"

"OH!" Willow pulled Buffy inside. "I'm so sorry, I was just so relived to see you return safely, I forgot to tell you all about that!"

Willow sat Buffy down as if the slayer was too sick to be standing up for long periods. She was starting to get annoyed with people treating her like that.

"Buffy…you were gone for such a long time that I had to do a little temporary 'forget' spell on your mother so she wouldn't worry about you."

"WHAT!" Buffy screeched leaping to her feet.

"I didn't know what else to do. Don't worry Buffy, it's supposed to wear off by itself, it will probably be gone in a week or two and then you can return as if everything was normal. You can stay at my house while your waiting."

"Okay, thanks Will." Buffy sighed, staring at the ground. She was angry, but knew her friend had only been trying to help. "I think I'll get some sleep now, I know all I seem to have been doing lately is resting, but suddenly I feel so weary."

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"Spike my love…"

He looked up, expecting to see Drusilla. Instead he saw Buffy.

She glided over to him. "Come play with me Spike, now we can be together forever." As she emerged from the darkness he noticed her face…

She laughed. "Do you like it Spike? Angel sired me. He sired me so I could become a vampire and stay with you…I never realised how much fun I was missing out on." She looked down at the blood on her hands. "The taste of human blood…snatching away an innocent life…it's so much more invigorating than dusting walking corpses."

"No…no!" Spike shook his head, backing away. "What did you do? What did you do with her?" My sunshine, my golden girl …how did she become so dark? How could she become so cruel?

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her demon face still showing, her soulless yellow eyes staring up at him. "Isn't this what you wanted Spike? I did it for yo-"

She burst into dust in his arms.

Spike looked up slowly in horror to see Drusilla, a stake in her hand, grinning wickedly and standing where Buffy had been just a moment before.

"BUFFY!"

Spike jolted awake, realising it had only been a dream. He shivered as he thought about how real it had seemed.

Buffy I just want you to be happy…

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"SPIKE! NO! Spiiiiiiike!"

Willow got out of her bed and padded over to where Buffy was sleeping to see what was wrong. The slayer was covered in sweat, her sheets tangled around her as she thrashed about. Her fingers dug into the sheets, tearing them with slayer strength. "NO!" she cried again.

"Buffy," Willow said gently, unsure of what to do. "Buffy, wake up, it's only a dream." She reached out slowly and laid a hand on Buffy's arm.

The next thing Willow knew she was thrown across the room.

"Don't hurt him!" Buffy yelled, and sat up.

Then she blinked. "Willow? Oh my god – Willow! Are you okay? What happened?"

Willow told her.

Buffy's eyes went wide. "I … I don't remember what I was dreaming about. But…I think it was an effect of some of the stuff I heard, some of the stuff I saw when I was in that different world…"

Willow crawled back to Buffy, wincing a bit, still in pain from being thrown. "That will probably happen for a while. The nightmares. But you're really strong Buffy, not just physically, but mentally. When I think about all the things that you have been through…all the things that are part of your history and you can't forget…the fact that you manage to get through each day… that you still manage to find happiness and joy…its truly amazing and I will always admire that part of you."

Buffy blinked. "Willow, I'm far from amazing –." How could she say it?

It wasn't me. It was Spike. He's the amazing one. He's the one who kept me going. The one who made me laugh when I was sad, the one who erased all the pain of the past just by holding me…

"You must really love Spike." Willow said, smiling softly. "To go that far from him…it's really beautiful. I know I don't express it much or always trust him…but Spike's a pretty amazing vampire too."

Buffy burst into tears. "Willow! I broke up with Spike – except …except…he didn't want to be with me anyway!"

"Huh?" Willow looked at her, shocked.

So Buffy explained, she explained why she had gone to break it off with Spike and then what had happened. "I never expected him to say that. Willow, he promised me he would never leave!" She knew she sounded immature but she couldn't help it.

Willow tried to think of the right words to say, tried to comfort her friend, but she too was confused. She expected Buffy to burst into more tears, but suddenly the slayers tone changed.

"That bastard! How DARE he do this to me? You don't just tell someone that you can't be with them anymore, out of the blue just like that! Not without a good reason!" Just as suddenly as her tone had changed, she sighed. "It's Dru…it has to be. He wants to be with her and he realised that…don't listen to me Willow. I shouldn't be acting like this…all I wanted was for him to be happy."

Buffy lay back down and turned her back on Willow. "I'm sorry I woke you up Will."

Willow watched as her friend fell asleep again, a furrow of worry over her brow.

"But Buffy…what about your happiness?" she whispered.

Okay, only one more chapter:P