Pieces 2

The bench beneath me is beginning to feel hard and uncomfortable. I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here, hours maybe. Behind the tavern, I'm surrounded by Cyrene's herb garden. Delicious smells float on the cool breeze that tugs at my hair.

'Wanna talk about it?' Xena eases down next to me, a small smile tugging at her lips.

'It's all so much.'

'I know.'

'No Xena, I'm afraid of so many things, I just don't know what to do?' Xena turns, straddling the bench and facing me.

'Whatever you're afraid of I'll be here for you, mother too.' She reaches up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

'That's just it.'

'What?'

'Xena, I'm nothing but a burden to you now.' She shakes her head at me, nudging my chin to face her.

'You can never be a burden for me. Don't even think that.'

'But Xena, I can't travel with you anymore, and with a baby….?'

'Is this what's been bothering you?'

'Yes, among other things but mostly this.' I turn away, looking out over the horizon at the setting sun. Colors of orange, pink, and purple splash across the sky like a canvas.

'Gabrielle.' Xena finally says after a moment of thinking. 'How do I tell you this? I will do everything I can to protect you and your child. And I will not leave your side until the day you want me to. You mean everything to me; I don't want to see you hurting.' Such brief moments of genuine love always feel the most intense when expressed by the stoic warrior. I reach up, cupping her face in my hand.

'I could never make you do that. You aren't meant to be tied down, you're meant to be out roaming the countryside.' My thumb wipes away a single tear that slides down her cheek.

'Don't worry about what I should be doing. You have more important things think about. You're my best friend, I can't just leave you.' I give in. Leaning sideways, I rest my head against her chest as her arms wrap around me. 'We'll just take one day at a time.' She whispers against the top of my head.

'I don't think I can do this without you.' I confess, mumbling against her chest.

'You won't have to.' We watch as the sun slowly sets, dragging its myriad of colors down the sky as it goes. The air is beginning to turn cool, and I can hear the tavern start to liven up with people. Xena stands, pulling me up with her. 'Come on, you need to eat.'

We make our way into the tavern, finding a small table out of the way. The room is slowly filling with hungry farmers and traveling merchants. I don't think I can stand too much of a crowd right now though, I'm not sure I want to stay. Xena's hand covers mine, she tries to give me a reassuring look.

'Would you rather eat somewhere else?'

'No, I'm ok.' I smile as Cyrene brings us food and drink.

'You are looking better dear.' She smiles at me, clasping my shoulder. 'Will you two need anything else?'

'No, thanks mother.' Cyrene strides off as patrons demand her attention. The food is always good here, I've never been disappointed.

'I've got to get your mom to teach me how to cook like this.' The beef is practically melting in my mouth it's so tender.

'Hey, I've never complained.' Xena scoffs, her eyebrow raising up.

'No but if I could cook like this you'd probably let me sleep in more.' I smile, but it fades as I realize I may never cook for her again. Weird thing to be sad about, but I am.

'When are you going to tell your parents?'

'I don't know.' I sigh deeply. The thought of it right now, I just can't handle it.

We settle into our normal routine; eating in silence with the occasional conversation peppered throughout. Xena's not really into to talking when she can be eating; she finds it gets in the way of chewing.

After dinner I find myself in my room, sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the wall as Xena starts a fire.

'Hey, if you need anything, I'm right next door.' She says as she stands, dusting her hands off on her leathers. She's looking at me, trying to decide if she should say something or not. Hesitating a moment, she finally turns towards the door.

'Xena?' I stop her before her hand touches the handle.

'Yeah?' I look down at my hands as I rub them together nervously.

'Would you mind….I mean I don't really want to be alone…..it's just.' Xena stops my stuttering ramble by crouching down in front of me.

'Of course.' Her fingers begin to work on the laces of my boots, pulling them off one by one. I crawl under the covers, fully dressed as Xena begins to pull her armor off. She strips down to her shift and climbs into the bed next to me. Without hesitation she pulls me into her arms, allowing me to curl into her form.

Her fingers run through my hair as she kisses the top of my head. I feel safe, I always feel safe when I'm in her arms.

'Thank you.'

'Hey, I told you, you're my best friend. If you need something just tell me.'

'Just hold me.' She pulls me in closer. When I first met her, I didn't think Xena had much of a soft side. I knew the potential, saw what she could be beyond her reputation; but she made it a point to always appear hard in front of me. Slowly, the tension in my body leaches away, leaving me feeling calmer than I have in days.

'Sleep.' Xena whispers. My eyes close as I listen to the rhythm of her heart, and I become lulled into a state of sleep.