I am…
It's night out, the camp is almost deserted, everybody is resting in their tents, well, except for those keeping watch…
He's sitting by the dying fire…
However, that night he is not alone, his rival sits across from him, staring quietly into the fading embers…
"What's wrong?" he asks "It's not like you to be this quiet".
The east Khan pays no attention to his words, the blank expression on her face betraying no emotion.
"Are you going to give it a shot?" her sudden question takes him by surprise "If you really like her, you should say something".
A small chuckle escapes him "What's gotten into you all of the sudden, saying stuff like that out of nowhere".
Her gaze turns to him, staring quietly, waiting for a serious answer…
She was not a fool, of course she would not fall for that pathetic excuse to dodge her question…
With a defeated sigh he leans forward, resting both elbows on his knees, his gaze turning to what remains of the fire "No, It will be better to leave things as they are…" a sad laugh follows those words "I can't change the fact that I'm old enough to be her father, you said that yourself".
There's a moment of silence between them…
"Then you really are a fool, giving up without even trying…" the anger in her voice is apparent, still, he does not meet her gaze "You could die tomorrow in the battlefield, why give up for such a stupid reason?, at least the one you like is still single…"
And finally, at long last, the fire was no more…
xxxxxx
He feels the cold rain on his face…
The cold wind on his body…
He lies defeated, wounded and probably dying…
Still, he can only bring herself to stare up to the grey sky, watching the rain fall…
He has no regrets, he fought with all his strength and after many years he was finally bested…
There was nothing else to do…
"Get up…"
A soft voice reaches him…
She's there, standing by his side, staring down at him with those beautiful blue eyes…
Somehow, he brings himself to smile…
She's not real…
The rain still falls, but she remains dry…
She's nothing more than an illusion…
"You have to get up…"
But, her voice sounds just like her real self…
"Flavia was right…" he says with a painful chuckle "I should have said something to you…" and for a moment he is silent "…It is too late now…I really messed up".
And she smiles…
But there are tears in her eyes…
"It's not too late…please get up!"
He remains silent, transfixed by her tears…
Even if she's an illusion, it is painful to see her cry…
"Why are you crying?" he asks, even though he already knows the answer "It is because of me?"
She stays silent…
"All right" he says, slowly moving, the pain shoots throughout his body but that is not enough to stop him "If those tears are because of me…then you will never have to cry for my sake again".
And by the force of his will, wounded and tired, Khan Basilio rose to his feet again…
And she's gone…
Only the rain and the wind keep him company…
xxxxxx
He finds her one day...
She's helping the soldiers move the supply boxes, he surprised to see her lift such heavy load all by herself…
"Well, I see you are quite busy" he says playfully…
She stops for a moment, surprised to see him "K-Khan Basilio, good day!" she says, a pretty smile on her lips.
The warrior steps towards her "Why is a little lady like you carrying such heavy boxes?" with a quick move he takes the box from her arms, easily lifting the box and resting it on one broad shoulder.
She takes no offence by his words, instead turns around and picks up another box "I like to help" she turns once more and smiles to him "Besides, unlike most of the female soldiers, I'm pretty confident in my physical strength".
The Khan laughs loudly "Confident huh?" he says, a smirk spreading across his lips "Then how about a little competition? Let's see who can carry the most boxes to the carriages".
She nods and smiles…
However, for a moment, for a brief, he is lost in those blue orbs…
And that kind smile…
Life is cruel like that…
"Khan Basilio?" her soft voice reaches him snapping him out of his thoughts "Are you all right?"
This was the moment…
He could tell her right there how he felt…
But that was not possible…
She was old enough to be his daughter, in due time, she would find happiness with a young man…
And he was nothing more than an old warrior, a man who had dedicated his life to training and battle, leaving no time for a wife or a family…
It was too late now…
In the end he remains silent...
He turns a nods quickly to her "Don't worry…" he says "I am all right".
No time for regrets…
It was too late now…