Chapter 15: "I had no choice!"
"Absence from those we love is self from self - a deadly banishment." William Shakespeare
"River," the Doctor exclaimed in relief. He rushed to hug her and then stopped abruptly. "It is you, isn't it? You see, I've imagined seeing you again so often I could very well be conjuring you up. You look real enough but I suppose everything in this place does."
River approached, her movements all deliberate as she strolled towards him and then, with no warning, slapped his cheek.
Hard.
"Two years!" she shouted. "You left me here two years ago and you haven't been back since!"
"Really?" the Doctor gaped, astounded. "Two years? Blimey, no wonder you're angry."
"Too right I'm angry," River agreed grimly. "Whatever possessed you to do such a thing as transfer me here, into this …" she struggled to find the right words, "illusion?!" She spat the last word out with a grimace, as though it left a bad taste in her mouth.
"I had no choice!" the Doctor all but yelled. "Believe me, if I could have done anything differently I would have but I couldn't because he already did this," he gestured around in disgust.
"He?" River blinked. "You mean your younger self?"
"Yes!" the Doctor insisted. "When it became clear to me that the next place you'd go – well at least the next place I thought you'd go; shame on you for lying about Darillium by the way – was here, there were so many other ways we could have done this, none of which would have resulted in you being stuck here."
"Then why?" River said, her tone shifting from angry to despairing.
"I don't know," the Doctor insisted sadly. "I don't River. It wasn't my choice even though at the same time it was. I can't explain it. Surely you realise I wouldn't have done this if there was any way around it."
"Do I?" River questioned. "Because I've had a long time to think too and it seemed clear that putting me here solved a lot of problems for you but absolved you from the guilt of just letting me sacrifice myself for you. Oh, how it must have bitten you in the backside that I was the one in that chair!"
"River!" the Doctor protested, horrified at what he'd let happen. She was so angry and too close to the hatred he'd talked with Amy and Rory about. She sounded bitter too and it gave her a hard edge it hurt his heart to witness. He deserved it, there was no question about that, but in his heart he'd hoped it would take longer for her to fall out of love with him and into so much hate. What was he to do?
"River," he tried again in an almost whisper, pleading this time for something he knew he didn't deserve – a chance to explain … and more than that, a chance to fix things.
"Um, excuse me," Anita broke in hesitantly.
"What?" the Doctor and River both turned as one and shouted their response in unison.
"It sounds like you have a lot to talk about but I don't think now is the time," Anita said quietly. She pointed over their shoulders. "I thought you might want us to do something about that first."
'That' turned out to be a distortion at the edges of the green, presumably the edge of the illusion field CAL maintained for her bodiless friends.
"They're trying to break through," the Doctor commented, his argument with River dropped for the moment.
"Is that possible?" River asked, easily falling back into the sidekick role with her husband.
In truth she probably welcomed the distraction as much as he did. It saddened the Doctor to realise the unknown aliens were less of a problem than the ruins of his relationship with River. "It shouldn't be, but then getting into the planet itself shouldn't be possible either," he replied.
"Who are they?"
"I don't know," the Doctor admitted. "Their ship wasn't one I'm familiar with. Given their quick grasp of the 53rd century technology the library uses I'd place them well in advance of that, say another five to ten thousand years into the future."
"What do they want with my Library?" CAL asked.
"Nothing," the Doctor replied. "They want what River has, inside her memories."
"Me?" River frowned. "What do they want that I could give them?"
"My name."
"That again?" River scoffed incredulously. "And there's me, thinking being dead would be the end of those kinds of problems! How the hell did they find out I was even here?"
"That's not really important, is it?" the Doctor felt the flush of embarrassment on his face and cursed the pale complexion of his eleventh persona. "Best we focus on fixing the problem at hand, don't you think?"
"Are you embarrassed?"
For the first time River looked almost happy he was there – perhaps making a total fool of himself would pave the way towards her forgiving him. He filed away that knowledge for later consideration.
"I'm eleven hundred and fifteen," he reminded her, deliberately pompous. "I've seen it all honey, and back again. I don't get embarrassed anymore." They both knew that was a lie – but he was the Doctor and it was a given that he'd at least try!
She laughed outright. "You are! You're embarrassed. Oh do tell! You can't leave a girl hanging like this."
There were so many suggestive places he could have taken her comment, and in the past he would have, just to get another laugh and a sexy swagger or teasing kiss from her. Not today though, not until he ensured her continuing safety, whether she wanted it or not.
"Later," he promised, meaning it. "For now, tell me what you know so far."
"Not much," River admitted, letting him off the hook. "Anita and I were talking with CAL when she detected the ship orbiting the planet. It bombarded her systems with enough force she only just managed to send out the distress call. I assume that's why you're here."
"I was already on my way, but yes, it certainly hastened my journey," the Doctor agreed. "How long did it take them to break through the planetary lock?"
"Not very long at all," River said worriedly, her eyes back on the distortion they were witnessing where none should exist. "It's getting bigger."
"I know," the Doctor replied. "So that's it, no warning, nothing done to draw attention?"
"No," River said at the same time Anita spoke up.
"There is one thing," she offered hesitantly. "Just before CAL detected the ship she was searching for the nearest satellite."
"She was?" the Doctor's brow rose as he put it all together with lightning speed. "You were trying to get in touch with the outside world?"
"Not exactly," River prevaricated. "We just wanted an update on the status of things. You have us locked away in here, sitting blind. Look how well that's worked out for us?!"
"Not blind," the Doctor disagreed. "You still have the Doctor Moon. Why didn't you engage with him to assure yourself about what's going on on the planet?"
"Because she wasn't interested in the planet," Anita said before River could answer. "She wanted news from further afield … about you."
River blushed, not something he saw every day … or ever really. "Do tell," he encouraged Anita with a pleased smile.
"Oh, don't go getting all full of yourself," River said irritably. "You have a knack for trouble – I just wanted to find out how much of it you'd managed to get yourself into in the two years and five months since you abandoned me."
"Ouch," the Doctor winced, putting his hand over his hearts. "Your callousness wounds me wife," he quipped. River was close to smiling – he saw how she struggled to maintain her stern façade and was encouraged. Maybe things between them weren't quite as bad as he feared. Maybe she still held some love for him alongside her anger.
"Do you think scanning outside the Doctor Moon's zone alerted the aliens that we're here?" Anita asked.
"In all likelihood yes, although I suspect it merely speeded their arrival. They were in the area and since the only thing interesting for light years is the Library I've no doubt about their intentions. Charlotte's father chose this location for his tribute very carefully. The relative dearth of other life in this part of space must have been one of the draw cards."
"What can we do then?" River asked.
"We can't defend the Library, not from within the system. I need to find a way to get you out of here, take you with me," the Doctor announced as though he were talking about going to the local shop for bread and milk instead of something the next side of impossible. "At the very least that will draw attention away from the planet and buy us some time to work up a more permanent solution."
"So now you're going to take me with you?" River asked too quietly.
"Yes, and before you point out the inconsistency, let me remind you of something," the Doctor said, meeting her eyes. He let her see the intensity of emotion still swirling inside him and she reeled, instinctively moving closer before she stopped herself. "You weren't my wife then River, not in my heart … you are now."
She let out a sigh and nodded.
"We'll talk about this after we get you out of here," the Doctor promised again, taking her hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "For now I need to leave – just for a short time to allow me to work out how I'm going to create a portable version of the system of sufficient size to contain one such as you."
She smiled at the implied compliment in his words. "Be sure you get back here quick smart this time, mister," she warned.
"I'm with you to stay," he promised, meaning it not just until the crisis was past but forever. He wasn't leaving her behind again, not now that he'd seen her and witnessed just how hard her illusionary life had been. When it came to River Song he already had too much on his conscience.
Back in the core, the Doctor hurried to check on the status of the Library at the information station. "Show me how many life forms there are in the Library, excluding the Vasta Nerada, and where they're located," he requested of the system, thankfully still in operation despite CAL being inert.
He watched the screen as a schematic appeared, showing multiple blue dots, grouped in two locations, before displaying the words "49 life forms present".
So, excluding himself, there were forty eight unknown assailants for him to deal with. They weren't good odds, especially since he had no intel on what he was up against. Looking at the map again, he realised that one of the groups was closing in on his position, too quickly for him to come up with a plan to stop them. Since information was what he lacked, even though it went against the grain, he decided hiding was his only option. Aiming his sonic at the wall, he opened one of the locked access ports – the one he's previously used when he was fixing the library systems so the problems Charlotte experienced wouldn't happen again – and quickly folded himself inside. It was cramped but sufficient. Of course it wouldn't work if these aliens used any kind of technology to search for life forms as he'd done, but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.
Moments later the sounds of boots hitting the floor reached him, followed by the leader issuing commands.
"Access the records. Find the woman."
Peering through a small slot in the wall, the Doctor craned his neck to catch sight of these mysterious people. All he could see was what looked like armoured boots and lower legs. They reminded him of the Judoon with their single minded purposefulness.
"She's here."
"Show me," the leader demanded, the boots the Doctor could see shifting away.
He had to wait a few moments – agonisingly slow moments assuming all kinds of things about what they were doing. He was pretty sure he'd made it impossible for them to just delete Charlotte's illusionary world, but he's also learned that impossible was more a concept than a concrete actuality.
"You are correct. This is the woman we came to find," the leader announced. "Prepare the transfer."
"Transfer", the Doctor mouthed. What transfer, and from where to where?
"The victory of the Kelad is at hand," the Leader roused his troops. "Trenzalore calls. Soon we will have the means to answer."
"Sir, we have activity," another alien announced. "A large group, eighteen in all, coming in from the adjacent tower. They're approaching our location and will arrive in approximately 15 minutes."
"How long do we need to complete our work here?" the Leader demanded.
"An hour Sir," the other alien answered their leader. "The transport device was prepared as much as possible but there is work to be done to align it with this system."
"Very well. You will remain here while we attend to this latest problem."
The sound of twenty nine sets of boots exiting the room was very loud. Once the noise died down the Doctor peered out through the grate again but was unable to see anything. Cautiously pushing open the panel he crept out, keeping low.
At the central console, a lone soldier stood, his back to the door as he worked. At his feet was a large cube, about half a metre in each direction. It looked to be made of a transparent material that allowed the Doctor to see the intricate circuitry inside. Bright blue light glowed and seemed to move through the internal conduits, like blood through a living being. There was etching on the outside as well and the Doctor suspected it served a purpose rather than being an embellishment for decoration.
Shifting back, the Doctor considered his options. He certainly had plenty of intel now – the library had been invaded by not one, but two separate parties. In all likelihood one of them was Madam Kovarian and her cleric soldiers. The other was a race he'd not heard of. The Kelad. They were highly advanced judging from the technology he could see as well as what he understood of the complexity involved in doing what the one before him was currently doing. They seemed to be warrior like in their approach as well, which was the only reason the Doctor hadn't jumped out to introduce himself. Highly advanced he liked, highly militarised, not as much.
He'd promised River he'd return but it looked like that was going to be later, rather than sooner, because the opportunity before him was one he couldn't pass up. He'd had no idea in practice how to remove River from the Library system while still maintaining her consciousness … anything he came up with would probably carry a worrying level of risk that it wouldn't work and he'd lose River forever. Now, right in front of his eyes, was an advanced race who'd spent who knew how long developing the very thing he needed, and the means to make the transfer. All he had to do was wait for the Kelad in front of him to finish the job and hope the rest of his crew didn't defeat Madam Kovarian too quickly.
The Doctor would overpower the alien … somehow … steal the cube and escape in the TARDIS. They'd all follow – they'd have to, leaving the Library and all her occupants safe once again.
As plans went, this one had quite a few holes, but it was the best he had. River would understand the delay, just as soon as he managed to find a way to talk to her again.