Chapter 2

Seto let out a disgruntled whine as he shoved at the door to his castle; it hadn't felt so heavy a few days ago. Then again, he hadn't been recovering from poison a few days ago. He glared at the door angrily, then punched it in frustration. He immediately regretted it as the unforgiving wood cracked his knuckles and caused his hand to throb. His glare at the door became more venomous. Then, faced with no other choice, he sighed and spread his wings. He was still weak, but he could make it to his window; he just didn't want to deal with the broken glass and everything he remembered there.

Flapping violently, he hovered for a few moments before swooping up to his window, already beginning to sweat from the exertion. He hovered outside of his room and frowned in confusion; his window had been repaired. Who had done that? Why? And it was open, so he didn't have to worry about getting inside. Who would have been so kind-? Because his mate certainly wouldn't—HIS MATE!

Seto dove into his room and tumbled onto the floor, grunting as his still slightly sore body collided with the hard stone. "Ow! Fuck—Damn it—" Curses trailing off into snarls and growls, he huffed and struggled to his feet, but he'd used up all his strength on the flight home, and then trying to open the door, then getting up to his room.

He huffed a weak sigh and sank down onto the floor, feeling pathetic, weak—he was a bad mate. He had left his mate to fend for himself for days, had just abandoned him without a word. If Joey wanted to beat him around, he supposed he deserved it. He'd raped him, trapped him, and then abandoned him, and now he deserved nothing less than being slapped around until he couldn't get up—maybe never able to get up. And then Joey would be free again and he wouldn't have to worry about making his Other unhappy.

He flinched violently as he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and groaned loudly in pain; his achy, stiff muscles were too tired to move anymore. He couldn't protect himself. He couldn't protect his mate. He was weak. He was pathetic. He was a monster for ever forcing Joey to be his. He should have left as soon as he'd seen him and—

Seto moaned weakly as he was rolled onto his back and looked up, frowning in confusion when he found worried, sad red-brown eyes gazing at him. "…Joey…?"

Joey stroked his hair out of his eyes and offered a small smile. "…I worried while ya were gone."

The brunet let out a low moan and struggled to sit up. "Get you some food then—"

"No, no," the younger boy assured quickly, lightly patting his chest. "I can take care of myself while you're gone. But, are you… are you okay?"

Seto sighed and closed his eyes. "'m fine. I'll… I'll get you something to eat soon. I just need to rest a little."

"You just rest, then," Joey replied, then stood up and grunted as he lifted the older boy from the floor, frowning when the brunet let loose a loud whine of pain. Settling him on the bed, he examined him from head to toe—as he'd fled without any pants, and had come back just the same.

The ugly forest green around the thick gash had faded to a sea foam color around a thin cut, but the slices from the broken glass had healed while he'd been gone. There were bags under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept well, so he could guess that Yugi had been using some sort of herbal remedy to make him sleep. He had bruises on his shoulders and arms that looked like handprints, too, so he must have tried to leave; then Yami had physically held him down against his will until Yugi was able to force the herbs into his mouth. His mate had probably struggled until he was too weak from the drug and just passed out.

Joey frowned as the brunet shivered and curled his wings around his body, rolling slowly to face away from him, but he supposed the older boy wouldn't know what else to do. He hadn't exactly been receptive to his presence. Sighing, he stood up to grab the two thin blankets to pull over him, then frowned again when he felt just how threadbare they were; they might as well have been full of holes and they wouldn't have been less useless. He looked back at the brunet as he began to tremble, brows furrowing together.

Even though he was still sick, Seto had refused to ask him for anything, even for something as small as a blanket. Being mated meant they should have had a partnership, but Joey had done nothing to show how grateful he was for all Seto had given up for him. He'd given up a comfortable bed, warm, thick blankets, lots of pretty things for his room. He'd made meals for him, provided a roof over his head. Joey had only taken and taken and hadn't even managed to spit out a thank you.

Joey was disgusted with himself. Why had he not realized how badly he was hurting the other man when he was trying to make up to him what he knew was unforgivable? Seto must have realized that there was the possibility that he'd never forgive him, but he still persisted. He was so cruel to him, had even injured him to the point of illness, and had done nothing to care for him. He may not have deserved to be claimed so roughly, but… Seto certainly didn't deserve suffering from illness and not being cared for by the person he'd tried so desperately to please.

He was angry, but mostly because of his ignorance of the brunet's true unhappiness.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto frowned as he felt something damp and cool brushing against his forehead, then ducked back down beneath his blankets, nuzzling lightly into the warmth. His frown deepened. That wasn't right. He should have been cold, trembling, not warm and comfortable. Opening his eyes slowly, he was perplexed to find his mate sitting on the edge of the bed with a bowl in his lap, a washcloth in one of his hands. He looked up at him, licked his chapped lips, and tried to speak, but his throat was scratchy and dry.

Joey brushed his hair out of his face and sighed. "Don't try t' talk. You've still got a little bit of a fever. Ya shouldn't have strained yourself; you'd be healthy by now."

The brunet let out a displeased rumble; making the other boy take care of him would not win him any points. Joey would just resent him more now.

Joey huffed and glared at him for a moment before sighing and dabbing at his warm forehead. "At least ya got someone t' take care of ya. I didn't know you'd never had any contact with dragon poison before."

Seto sighed and let his gaze drift away in shame. He was probably making his mate very upset with him because of his feebleness and inexperience with dragon poison, making him hate him even more.

The blond frowned as the older boy looked away from him, then bit his bottom lip; even though he wasn't being mean, the white dragon was still feeling guilty for not being a good mate. "…I… I brought some blankets for ya. Ya looked a little cold." Apparently, that was not the right thing to say, as the brunet curled up tighter and lifted his wing to cover his head. "Seto…"

"…'m sorry," Seto whispered weakly. "'m a bad mate."

Joey sighed and tilted his head, brows furrowing together in frustration. Maybe he'd hurt the other boy more than he'd realized; he was acting like everything that came out of his mouth was hurting him. He pulled lightly at the edge of the brunet's wing. "Seto, I need t' be able t' see your face."

The brunet didn't move for a few minutes, but eventually, he lowered his wing and sighed. "'m sorry."

"I said not t' talk," the black dragon reminded gently, dabbing at his forehead again. "At least until you've had somethin' t' drink. …I'll be right back."

Seto watched him go, then sighed again. He should be taking care of Joey, not the other way around. What was wrong with him, making his mate take care of him when he wanted nothing to do with him? He'd be lucky to get the blond to even speak to him after this! He groaned weakly as he felt tears forming in his eyes; he couldn't make his Other happy.

"I don't really know what sort of broth a sick person is s'posed t' have, but people are always talkin' about chicken, so I— Seto? Are you in pain?" Joey asked in concern, frowning when he saw a tear sliding down the brunet's cheek. He laid the back of his hand against the older boy's forehead. "Your fever's the same. Do ya hurt somewhere else?"

The brunet slowly shook his head and sighed again, forcing back any more tears. He just wanted to make Joey smile—even once!—and he would never be able to do that.

Joey eyed him skeptically, then sighed and sat down again, using his tail to help the brunet sit up. "Let's get somethin' inside ya; I'm sure you're hungry."

Seto sighed and stared at the bowl of hot chicken broth the blond was holding listlessly. He wasn't really in the mood to eat. But he'd humor him, if only to keep him from getting angry again. He tried to reach for the bowl, but was distressed to find his hand trembling, so he let out a confused whine and looked up at his mate in concern.

The blond sighed and grabbed his hand to gently place it back in his lap. "Don't worry, I'll feed ya. You'd probably spill all over yourself anyway." He frowned when the older boy flinched and looked away in shame, then looked down at his own lap. "…It's nothin' t' be ashamed of. Lots of people are weak after the first time they're poisoned."

"…How many people are watched over by mates who hate them?" Seto whispered, then turned his gaze on the blankets. How cold was the blond without them? Did he even sleep comfortably? That was just something else to add to the list of what the blond hated him for, he supposed.

Joey stared at him for a moment, stunned. He didn't… he didn't necessarily hate him. He just… he just didn't like him right now! He was angry! He just needed time to cool down a little, and then he'd work on getting to know him!

Oh, who was he kidding? He'd done nothing to make Seto think he'd ever warm up to him. Not to mention that the brunet's mind had taken his disgust of him and twisted it into immediate disapproval. Nothing he did was right; he could only serve and hope for something that was not a glare or a snarl; he could never make up for the first time they met.

Sighing, Joey shook his head and turned to better face him. "Open your mouth."

Seto did as he was asked immediately, so as not to piss his mate off further, and couldn't help a pleased sigh as the warm broth slid down his throat, seeming to warm him up from the inside out. He ate obediently, trying to finish as quickly as possible, but the blond paused every few minutes to grab the washcloth and dab the sweat forming on his brow from his fever. He let his eyes flutter shut after a moment and leaned back against the blond's tail. He still felt extremely fatigued and weak.

The blond gave him a few more spoonfuls of broth before finally deciding he'd had enough. Setting the bowl on the bedside table he'd dragged in, he lifted his hands to brush the hair off the brunet's damp, warm face as he eased his tail out from under him, allowing him back into a lying position. "Get some more rest, Seto."

Seto purred weakly and lifted his own tail to gently curl around the blond's waist. He gave him a small squeeze before sliding his tail back under the blankets. His brows furrowed as he felt the blond's cool hand on his forehead, and he felt even more confused when he felt his other hand grasping his own. The hand left his forehead, but the one gently holding his did not. Instead, he felt the blond's thumb gently rubbing over the back of his hand in small circles. Despite not wanting to anger his mate, he couldn't help the corners of his lips quirking upward.

Joey couldn't help a smile of his own as the brunet's purr faded, but the small smile on his face lingered. He wasn't so bad, really. He just wanted a kind word, or a small show of approval. He supposed he didn't mind giving those to him after all he'd done for him.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey jerked awake as he heard a roar, sitting upright in his chair as he looked around for the threat. It turned out he didn't need to worry about a threat, however, as he looked to the brunet writhing violently on his bed.

Seto was grabbing at his chest, sobbing helplessly as his shoulders and chest convulsed. He thrashed his tail and let out a pathetic whine, twisting and curling in on himself as he dug his claws into the healed, unblemished skin where the poisoned cut had been. His face twisted in pain as tears began forming in his eyes.

The blond grabbed his shoulders and forced him down onto his back. "Seto! Seto, calm down! It's okay!"

"Hurts—burns—so cold—" The older boy's chest jerked upward as he gripped the blankets tightly in his hands. He gasped in a wheezy manner and jerked his shoulders against the blond's hands weakly. "So cold—warmth—never be warm again-!" Seto screeched and surged against the blond's grip again. "Hurts—alone—always alone—stop hurt—please stop hurt—"

His back arched violently as he shook, body frozen in place for a few tense moments, before his muscles relaxed and he fell back to the bed bonelessly. His head fell to the side limply as his hands released the blankets, leaving red spots from where his claws had broken the skin and bled into the fabric as his fingers smeared blood from his chest across them.

Joey stared at him, still holding the brunet as if expecting him to start thrashing as soon as he let go. After a few moments, though, he allowed his grip to loosen. Then it hit him.

Seto had been asleep the entire time. It had been a nightmare. He'd been thrashing because he'd remembered the pain of when the wound had first been inflicted. He'd been alone to deal with something new and painful—scary.

He'd probably been terrified, not knowing why his body was reacting so strongly and why his wound felt so hot while the rest of him was shivery-cold. He'd tried to be strong, to muscle through the illness, but had eventually given up and struggled to Yugi and Yami's den to get help, because his mate was the one that had hurt him and obviously wouldn't want to take care of him.

Joey felt guilt forming in the pit of his stomach like a stone. Seto had obviously never experienced anything like this before, and had forced himself to stay silent through his own fear and suffering to keep from making him, the cause of his pain, angrier. That… that didn't seem fair, even to him, and he was still angry about the forceful mating. He should have at least taken care of him so he knew he'd be okay, instead of suffering and wondering if he might die—and if he did, then if he'd be alone.

That wasn't right, especially when Seto had only ever tried to serve him to the best of his abilities.

Sighing quietly, the blond grabbed the damp rag and dabbed at the sweat that had formed on the older boy's brow during the struggle. Once that was done, he lifted one of his hands and began cleaning the blood from his claws and palms. "Why do ya gotta stay so quiet?" he asked softly, frowning. "Why can't ya just get mad and demand that I appreciate ya like a regular sire, huh?"

He knew why, though. Seto believed he had no right to demand anything from him—and rightly so, at least up until this point. After all, he'd raped him, and Joey had wanted nothing to do with him.

But… he could have at least come to him for help. Yes, he may have poisoned him, but if he'd known it had been his first experience with dragon poison, he'd have nursed him through it. …Not that he'd done anything to make Seto believe that.

Joey winced slightly at the thought. He'd figured that, with all of the other dragons pining after him, Seto would have had tons of fights on his hands from other jealous suitors and thus have experienced poison. Once he'd experienced it once, his body would have built up an immunity for it, and he'd have only felt a burning, sizzling pain until the wound healed over. He'd only wanted him to suffer for a little while for daring to touch him after raping him, maybe twelve or fourteen hours.

He hadn't meant to force him into bed for several days, alone and miserable and afraid. Joey remembered when he was a kit and had accidentally scratched himself with his own barb (a common occurrence, and usually expected for kits with poison barbs to make themselves immune to their own poison). His mother had watched over him for the week that he was bed-ridden, feeding him and making sure he got everything he needed while he was unable to fend for himself.

How hungry had Seto gotten? How thirsty? How hopeless did he feel when Joey hadn't come to check on him? He probably thought that he didn't care, something that Joey saw now that he really didn't need.

He hadn't heard anyone come to visit, hadn't sensed anyone else approach. His mate hadn't mentioned going to see anyone himself, and hadn't ever breached the subject of introducing him to his friends and family, which was something traditional and wasn't taken lightly, even if the mating was forced.

Joey could only conclude that Seto didn't have friends or family, which seemed sad, because he had been one of the most eligible bachelors before they'd mated. Then again, he'd probably never had friends, first from the customary isolation given to a dragon after a parent's death (both of his parents had died within months of each other) when he was only ten, and then keeping others at arm's length because so many people would just want the fortune he inherited or because he was just attractive enough for the shallower dragons.

The blond cringed at the thought of not having friends, as friendship had been the only reason he'd moved from his warmer climate up to this colder one; Yugi had suggested a vacant cave after he'd been thrown out of his parents' den. To think that the brunet had no one to depend on, no one to confide with…

Seto had said 'alone, always alone.' His sire was… lonely. And he probably wasn't helping with that, keeping him away and wanting nothing to do with him. Perhaps… perhaps maybe he should try getting to know him. He couldn't be too terribly horrible, insisting on making food for him while he himself had no strength to do so.

Joey waited until the scratches on his chest healed before wiping away the blood. His sire didn't need to feel any worse knowing that his dame had had to tend to him more than usual after his night terrors.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Seto, please—Ya don't need t' feed me—I can take care of myself!" Joey hovered over the brunet anxiously. It had taken a few days, but his mate had finally gotten well enough to move around for extended periods of time without risking sudden fatigue and falling into an ungraceful and more or less hilarious pile of cursing limbs.

And, now that he could, he insisted on feeding him like a good sire.

"I'm your sire. I'm going to feed you." Seto scowled and glared at the cookbook he'd been using to properly feed his dame ('Cooking for New Sires: Keeping Your Dame Happy,' under the chapter titled Apology Food). Unfortunately, he'd cooked through the entire chapter—and none of it had seemed to work! His mate still hated him and hadn't shown the barest hint of even thinking about forgiving him—even just a little!

Gah, the 'apology food' was useless. Not to mention he had to make up for forcing his mate to care for him during his illness now, too! Perhaps he had been a little too eager to get home, sending himself back into a fever, but could anyone really blame him for not wanting his mate to think he'd just abandoned him after forcefully mating with him?

Because he knew his mate would never discover they were Others. The most he could hope for was… not-hatred. If he could just get Joey to look at him with not-hatred, forcing himself to be content would be much easier. Maybe he'd even grow used to the dull ache that kept his chest tight and the hollow coldness he was left with when he was lying in bed, wondering what his mate was thinking at that moment other than 'that fucking rapist bastard should die.'

Joey tilted his head when the brunet only glared at the page he'd opened the cookbook to, then frowned as his mate's glare faded into a forlorn expression. He watched for signs of weakness or fatigue, but then Seto stood up straight and shuffled around the large kitchen, grabbing pans and various foods.

The brunet began chopping and cooking and preparing listlessly, and the younger boy's brows furrowed together when he realized that his wings had wilted and were dragging on the ground. Was he feeling weak again? Was he tired? Did he need to sit down for a while?

He frowned again when the white dragon abruptly folded his wings upward and out of the way, using his tail to grab various spice jars and measuring spoons. So he wasn't weak or tired, then. That only left… defeated.

Why should Seto feel defeated? He was more or less healthy now, and could sleep through the night without letting out shrieks because of phantom pains from his chest, where the cut had healed but the brunet still had nightmares about trembling in his bed, alone, as his chest burned in a manner so new and so painful that he couldn't even cry.

Joey flinched. He had felt so horrified when he was startled out of his doze by his mate's frantic screams, and had felt so horribly guilty when he saw Seto still asleep and clutching at his chest that he regretted ever poisoning him, even if he didn't want to be touched. No matter how hard he tried to get the brunet to relax, he thrashed until he wore himself out.

Hearing a crunch, he jerked his gaze back to his mate sharply, fearing he might have hurt himself again. He was relieved to see he'd only taken a bite of an apple. He blinked as the brunet turned and set a plate of spiced chicken in front of him, then looked up at his mate in concern. "Aren't ya gonna eat any of it?"

"Actually, I didn't start cooking until I brought you home." Seto crunched through another bite of apple. "I didn't like to bother that much with food, really. I stuck to things I didn't necessarily have to cook for my meals." He twisted his tail around to grab a banana with it. "I only started because I'd be a horrible sire if I didn't cook meals for you; I still prefer raw foods myself."

Joey swallowed the mouthful of chicken he had thickly, feeling guilty all over again. "…Ya don't… ya don't hafta go out of your way for me—"

"Of course I do. You don't want to be here." The brunet peeled the banana and shoved it into his mouth, then tossed the peel into the compost bin with his apple core. "What sort of sire would I be if I didn't put effort into your meal, especially after I forced you to leave your own home? –A horrible one."

"But—" The blond cut himself off and frowned. "…Why do ya think you're a bad mate?"

Seto turned toward him and tilted his head, brows furrowing together in confusion. "…I just know I am, because you're not happy with me. I'm a bad mate because I can't make you happy."

It had become a basic fact to him, as if everyone should know it and the only reason they didn't question it was because the fact was absolute; the grass would always be green, the sky would always be blue, and Seto would always be a bad mate.

The brunet let out an anxious whine as he saw his mate wasn't eating. "Is the chicken bad? I can make something else. I haven't really cooked chicken before—should I cook it a little longer for you?"

"…I'm sorry. I was just thinking." Joey shoved another bite of chicken into his mouth and continued speaking around it. "It'th actually vewy delicious."

Seto stared at him for a few moments, as if unsure he could believe him. Eventually, though, his expression softened into a hopeful smile. "You… you really like it?" When the blond nodded quickly, his hopeful smile melted into one of satisfaction and pride. "Thank you."

The black dragon blushed and turned his gaze away quickly. Because Seto was really pretty when he smiled.

Clearing his throat quietly, he looked back up at him and frowned. "I… I noticed that I haven't met any of your friends or family, though."

At that, the brunet's smile immediately fell. "…Oh. Well, I— …I don't really have an excuse for that," he stated quietly, rubbing the back of his head as his gaze turned on his feet. "…My family… The family that I have… My brother and cousin really think too much of me. …It's cowardice, I guess. I don't want them to be disappointed in me when I tell them that I… that I… forced you."

Joey blinked at him for a moment, stunned. For the sire to openly admit cowardice was unheard of where he came from, but if it did happen, it was usually just before the dames smacked them around for not being proper sires. He knew it was different up here—that dames didn't necessarily punish their mates because they had not lived up to expectations—but he honestly didn't know what to do.

He couldn't just get angry because his mate had admitted to being afraid of his family's reaction to the news that their mating had been forced. He'd probably be a little nervous to tell his own family, too—if only because he knew his father would try to kill his sire in fury and his mother would be no help in trying to stop him. He didn't know much about Seto, but he did know that he really didn't deserve to die, no matter how much he'd hated him at first.

"…W-what about your friends? Shouldn't I meet your friends, too?" Joey asked after a minute, still frowning.

Seto looked back at him in confusion. Once the question registered, however, he turned his head away again. "…I don't really have any friends. Well, the friend I did have is technically my cousin now, too. I… I don't have a lot of people close to me. I'm sorry." The brunet sighed quietly. "I should have introduced you to them much sooner. Would you… would you mind if we waited a little while longer, though? It's not that I don't want to introduce you, I just…"

"It's okay." Placing his hand on the brunet's arm, Joey couldn't bring himself to be angry or annoyed with him when he saw just how conflicted he was. "If you're related t' Yami and Yugi, ya don't really need to tell them. I'll do it. And I won't even tell 'em that it was forced. They won't hafta know about that, okay?"

The white dragon took a step away from him and whined in confusion. "Why would you do that for me?"

The blond sighed. "…Because I don't hate ya nearly as much as I thought I did."

Seto bit his bottom lip, then hesitantly asked, "Do you think you'll ever… not hate me?"

Joey looked up at him and offered him a small smile; his mate hadn't asked him for something impossible, like actually loving him at some point, because he doubted he'd ever be able to forgive him completely. He could, however, learn not to hate him. "That's a possibility."