Disclaimer- I don't own any Miyazaki creation.
The cafeteria was packed and reminded me of the one at school. I tuned out the nurse beside me when this thought came about to dwell on it. It was an odd feeling knowing that I wouldn't see that school for a long time.
"I'm going to leave you here now. Kiki is over there at that table, looks like there's an empty seat too!"
"Okay." I said half heartedly in reply to her oh so smooth hint.
"I'll see you later sweetie."
I rolled my eyes at the nickname as she left before I turned to get food.
The woman behind the counter grunted at me before she put what sort of looked like a turkey sandwich in front of me. Or maybe it was ham, I wasn't sure.
I tried to thank her but she walked away before I could get the words out of my mouth. So I started on my way to an awkward experience being the new girl. Again.
Briefly I was reminded of a time when I had been rejected for smelling human. Kohaku had promptly pointed out that a few weeks of eating their food and I would smell like them. Looking at this food, I wasn't sure I wanted to smell like it.
A smile crept over my lips when I thought about this and the smile was convenient because I had reached my destination.
"h-hello there." I had never been very good at meeting people.
This Kiki girl looked up at me with an accommodating smile. There was nothing really behind it, just the pretty face bordered by short brown hair.
"Hello dear. You must be Chihiro. Sit down." She said calmly as I looked around the table.
They were round tables that held four people each, Kiki was on the left side of two other people, a boy and a girl.
The male was more a man than a boy but he had young features, he had thick dark blue hair that cut off at the nape of his neck. It looked feminine on him but I was slightly in awe at how handsome he was even with his femininity. I also briefly wondered whether they allowed hair dye or if he had smuggled it in. His clothes were old fashioned, and I mean really old fashioned. He wore a plain white shirt with puffy sleeves and very tight jeans, although he didn't seem too comfortable in the jeans, like he was used to something else entirely.
The second girl was a very light brunette, her hair cut off right above her shoulders and her eye's seemed black, giving her a wild look. She didn't smile and the way she looked at me was unsettling, it was like some instinct I had from before I could think for myself was telling me to be aware of her.
Kiki however seemed just fine as she sat next to her with a half eaten sandwich. "What's the matter? We don't bite." The girl said. I took another look at the girl next to her, (something told me that girl might) and then sat down.
"Um, so I guess I'm your new room mate." I said awkwardly, I wasn't sure how to start a conversation with someone who was supposedly crazy. "What happened to the person before me?"
"She had a nervous break down and tried to use a spoon she'd smuggled from that day's soup as a weapon. I wasn't in the room but apparently she took out four people using it before she was caught and taken to the maximum security ward."
"Oh." I said surprised, I knew that there would be crazy people here but I never thought that someone would try to hurt another person with a spoon.
The horror of that statement was just sinking in when the girl next to me started laughing.
"I'm just kidding you know. Gee I didn't think you'd believe me so willingly, she only got moved to another room. She's doing well, you know?" I wasn't sure how to respond to that so I just stared at her while she laughed a bit more.
Thankfully the man at the table spoke before the conventionally acceptable time for being quiet on my part was spent. "Kiki likes to joke." He sounded sort of annoyed. "My name is Howl, and this is San. Obviously you already know who Kiki is."
I smiled as he introduced himself and the others. "I'm Chihiro." I said quietly, I knew that my room mate had already said my name but I didn't know what else to say to people I had just met inside an asylum. Somehow 'hey how are you doing? Good? I'm glad to hear it, wonderful day isn't it?' didn't sound exactly appropriate.
"So what are you in for?" Kiki asked.
"Um, what?" She made it sound like we were in jail.
"You know, what made them decide you were crazy? Are you a schizo, or how 'bout bi-polar? That one's always fun."
"Oh. That, well I haven't exactly been diagnosed but that's okay because I'm not really supposed to be in here in the first place. I'm not crazy." They all exchanged knowing glances when I said that.
"Of course you aren't. No one in here is, it's just like jail; everyone is innocent." Kiki said with a laugh.
So this was jail.
"Okay, fine, what are you guys here for?"
"A little rude to ask, don't you think?" San snapped. There was the bite.
"Oh be quiet San. It's not like any one here cares how many times you've supposedly attempted suicide."
San stopped looking at me in order to glare daggers at my room mate. "Oh come on why the sour face. I didn't tell her anything she couldn't find out by asking a doctor."
Howl shook his head. "I guess if Kiki's going to say it anyway. I have MPD." I gave him a questioning look. "Multiple Personality Disorder." He reiterated.
"Oh." I said sort of to myself, and then I looked at Kiki. It was her turn to fess up after all. She had a sort of amused smirk on her face, like she knew something that I didn't and she was going to tell me that secret, and when she did, it was going to make my whole world spin.
"I am a pathological liar." She said it in a very self satisfied way. That sat in a very uncomfortable place for me. My roommate; the liar. I guess I could deal with that, I had known some people who lied all the time. I wouldn't say they had a disorder but they were easy enough to deal with. At least I knew she wasn't going to try and attack me with a spoon. Although she might say she did.
"Um, okay." I said awkwardly. There wasn't much else to say so I took a bite of my turkey/ham sandwich. The taste didn't answer the mystery of what kind of meat it was.
The rest of lunch went surprisingly smooth. I didn't say much and didn't need to. Howl and Kiki made most of the conversation. Every once in a while San would interject when she didn't like what was going on but for the most part she stayed quiet. Once in a while her gaze would land on me and I couldn't help but look away because of what those black eyes held. It was like I was looking into another world completely.
Instead of concentrating on that, I started to pay attention to the conversation. Well, less the conversation than the way things were said. I noticed Howl had a very flowery way of speaking, when he talked about something he liked his whole body would light up and move, like he was dancing. I liked watching him.
Kiki was interesting. I couldn't pick out her lies, if she was lying, but she had an odd nature to her. I didn't want to necessarily trust her, but at the same time I did. When she actually smiled it was like she knew something I didn't, and when she asked me questions it was as though she was laughing at a joke I didn't get. Or maybe the joke was the fact that I didn't get it. I wasn't really sure I liked my room mate, but maybe tomorrow I would wake up in my bed and this would just be a bad dream and I wouldn't have to worry about liking anyone I met here.
By the time lunch was over I was sort of hoping that it was a dream. A bell rang and I was sure I was in school. Next I would be going to fifth period. English. I loved English, the books; it was like being sucked into another world that I didn't have to come out of until it ended. The nice thing about books was it always wrapped up in a neat and orderly way. There were no loose ends, no "What happens tomorrow?" Just this is what happens, and then they live happily ever after. Like that.
It was a guarantee.
But I wasn't in school, and I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to read books or watch movies that would let me get away from this place and the what if's of tomorrow.
"Hey, your clothes are probably here by now. I'll help you unpack." Kiki's voice shattered through my thoughts and I looked at her sort of dumbfounded.
"But don't you have things to do?"
"They gave me the day off to make you comfortable." She said. "If you don't believe me you can ask a nurse." She seemed to be used to mistrust.
"I believe you." I said. It wasn't that I necessarily believed her; I just didn't exactly care whether or not she was skipping some sort of class. I know that sounds mean but it wasn't any of my business now was it?
We made our way down the corridor where all the rooms were, in an awkward silence. When we were half way to our room Kiki spoke up. "You know San? I was talking to a doctor the other day, and apparently she's a feral child or something. Like they found her in the wild, with wolves, isn't that cool?"
"Um, I guess?"
"See all I knew about her was that she had tried to commit suicide a lot. Like running off of buildings, getting into fights, stuff like that. As you can probably tell she doesn't talk a lot. Howl and I kind of took her into our friendship without her permission." She laughed at that part.
"Okay?" I honestly couldn't think of anything else to say. I felt like I was sinking in some awkward tub of molasses that was shouting at me: "you really can't think if anything more creative than 'okay'? You realize she's going to think you're an idiot, right?"
There was a moment of silence.
"You know, I'm not a pathological liar. The doctors just find it hard to believe that I can fly on a broom stick and understand my cat."
"You understand cats?" I said, honestly interested but still sinking in molasses.
"Not all cats just mine. Although I don't know if I could anymore." She sounded far away when she said this.
"But don't pathological liars believe their own lies?" I asked trying to pinpoint what was a lie and what wasn't.
"That's true, but I know exactly when I lie and when I don't lie. You don't have to believe me, but the doctors were wrong."
"I'm pretty sure that the doctors know what they're talking about." My case excluded.
"Well not the one's at the other ward I was in. They didn't want to let me prove to them what I was saying was true so they named me a liar and shipped me here. The doctors here are better but they don't really pay attention."
"So then why are you still in the rooms down here? If you're not a liar then shouldn't you be doing well?" I asked feeling the molasses slipping away.
"If I keep telling the truth they thought was a lie in the first place I'm not getting better in their eyes." She told me as we reached our door.
"Oh." And it was back.
We went into our room and unpacked my clothes, our talk had faded to idle chatter about what we liked to do, something surprisingly normal considering where I was. The rest of the day was spent in that room. I took several naps in the hopes that I would wake up in my real bed but it never happened.
I guess it wasn't a dream after all.