"Why? What happened?" Mom never asked me to come home early. Mom and Glen loved having the house to their selves.
"Guess who's coming to dinner," she said. "Your sister. Just before Glen and I were about to leave, she busted in with your father." She sounded very perturbed. Every time she mentioned my father she sounded perturbed. I sighed and fell back into Owen's leather seat. Great, that's just what I needed. "Apparently, she's been staying with him for three months." I knew that, and I hadn't called Dad because of it. How can he make room for Darcy and not me?
Well, she always was the favorite child. That precious firstborn- the one who gave up her life to do Christian mission work, while I quit going to church and dated a baby daddy, a step-brother, and a bi-polar artist. I can't say I blame them for caring about Darcy a little bit more than me, but I don't know how they put up with her attitude. Ever since she decided she was going to donate her time to Christ, her 'holier than thou' attitude has gotten worse and worse. Now that Mom and Dad are divorced, and I'm, as she said, drifting among sinful boys, it's like holy world war three in our family.
I comforted myself by thinking that if we were poor Chinese, we would both be useless girls, instead of just me being useless.
"I'll come home," I said. I couldn't leave Mom alone with Darcy. That would be a capital familial offence.
"Thank you, sweetheart. Can you stop somewhere and pick up some stuff for me? I was going to order pizza," I loved pizza, "But Darcy is insisting on a home cooked meal."
"Yeah, what do you need?" I asked. Being at my mother's beck and call wasn't my favorite thing, but she sounded distressed. Darcy could make anyone pull their hair out. Mom listed about fifteen items, which I tried to commit to memory. I couldn't. I wasn't good at remembering things in order, or in a list, or with a pneumonic device or song. "Mom? Just text me a list, okay?"
"Okay, but I'm not good with those little buttons on my phone," she said. Mom was kind of new to the texting thing. Ever since she broke a perfectly manicured nail on her Blackberry while sending her very first text message, she abhorred texting.
"Just have Jake do it, alright?"
"Alright. I'll see you when I see you," she said. "Be careful on the bus with those groceries."
"I'm not taking the bus," I said.
"Oh, honey, don't try to walk with all that stuff-"
"Bye Mom," I said right before I hung up. "I know what we can do, Owen." I said.
"What? It sounds like I need to take this little girl home to see her mumsey," he said.
"You can take this little girl to the grocery store first," I said. "Mumsey needs some stuff."
"Sure, as long as I don't have to pay. I'm kind of broke," said Owen.
"No you're not," I said. "But I've got the bill.