Chapter 6

The next day I stayed in the room. I couldn't face anyone. I had this fear that Ron had told everyone and they were waiting for me to come down so they could question me. I was scared that I would have to tell anyone. Ginny knew the entire thing but I trusted her enough to not tell anyone. It would take Ron quite a while to figure out, this I was sure of but I was scared that Ron might confide in Harry and between the two of them they come of with some creative solutions to their dilemmas.

Ginny would not stop hounding me on telling Ron the truth. She was such a stubborn Weasley.

"Hermione, Do you actually want to carry this pain the rest of your life?" she asked for the millionth time.

"Yes! If it means keeping people safe, yes!"

"Hermione, think of your own happiness!"

"Ginny, I am happy that everyone is safe. I am ecstatic, actually so I'm not going to tell him. You might as well stop demanding this from me."

So she walks off frustrated at me. It would be comical, if the pain weren't so real. I decide that I need to leave tonight… I can't risk hurting Ron again. What if he decided to force the information out of me? What if he got hurt again? I could not, would not do that. I needed to leave as soon as possible.

Ginny comes into my room near dinnertime. "Come on Hermione, dinner is ready."

I put on my best smile and say, "No thanks Gin. I'm not hungry."

She looks at me incredulously and states "You haven't eaten all day! Besides, Ron left late this afternoon so you presence is required."

I stared at her. I was half overjoyed and half hurt at the same time. I wanted to say goodbye to him or him to me. I flushed when I realized that I still expected him to like me.

Gin saw the hesitation on my face and quickly said, "Great. Five minutes, 'kay?" She turned and walked downstairs.

I stood in the room a moment and realized how incredibly rude I must seem to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. I decided, since Ron wasn't there, that I would make an appearance and would leave as soon as I was able.

At dinner, everyone was seated at the table with delicious food all around them. I was sitting there with my eyes cast down and being very quiet. No one was asking me any questions, which was a relief. I was enjoying the conversation and stealing glances at Harry and Ginny. They were so comfortable with one another now. They held hands and I couldn't help feel jealous. I wanted something like that with someone! No, not just anyone… I wanted it with Ron. The thought instantly made me sad and I cast my eyes back down.

It was towards the end of dinner and everyone was enjoying his or her last piece of dessert when the door opened. I've decided that doors should have a one-way mirror to them so people could know exactly who's coming to your door. Once again the flash of red-hair and Ron enetered the Burrow again. This time I didn't panic. I just kept my head down, looking for a way out.

Mrs. Weasley jumped up and said, "Ron! Two days in a row? This is wonderful!Have you eaten yet?" She was up and ready to hand food to him.

"Yes, Mum thank-you."

"How about dessert?"

"Yes, Mum."

"Where and what on Earth did you eat?" she asked surprised

"At the Ministry they fed us, it was nothing like yours, Mum don't worry."

She was about to ask further when Fred chipped in to clear the table.

"I'll help you Fred." I needed an excuse to get away from the table. I was in the kitchen piling dishes into the sink when Fred came up to me and asked, "Any chance I can know yet?"

I smiled. "Nope. Not yet."

He sighed. "I am going to know eventually, you know that right? I always find out people's secrets!"

"I'm sure everyone will know eventually, Fred… Unfortunately."

I quickly got the dishes cleaned and back into the cupboard so I could make my escape into Ginny's room. I got everything ready to leave when Ginny came into my room and saw what I was doing.

"Leaving so soon, Hermione?"

"I have to Gin. I can't be here any longer."

"I don't think this is a good idea Hermione. You should stay and work this out. This isn't healthy for you or for me either!"

"No, Gin. I'm leaving and that's final. I need some floo powder, please." I turned my back on her and hoped she would do as I asked. I didn't hear her leave but I waited five minutes until I crawled into bed and fell asleep. My dreams woke me up and looked at the clock and it read 2:12. Perfect timing for me to leave. I saw that Ginny had left me some floo powder on the desk with a note on how to get back to my apartment exactly. I said a silent thank-you and I crept down the stairs towards the kitchen. I stumbled down the last two and made quite a noise as I tried to catch myself. You Klutz!I hit the floor with my bag when a head popped up from the couch. I froze. You can't let anyone see you!I pressed myself against the wall and hoped that they couldn't see me.

"Hermione? I know it's you come on out here, I need to talk to you."

Not Ron again! Damn it. Ginny must have told him I'd be trying to escape.

"Ron, please just let me leave. I have to get out of here."

"No." and he got up right in my path towards the door. "I 'm not going to let you go without me talking to you. The only way out is through the door behind me. You wouldn't want to hurt me again, would you?"

My eyes filled with tears as I realized that he was willing to hurt himself just to talk with me. I walked over and sat on the couch opposite of the one where he was sleeping. "There's nothing to say, Ron. I've said all I've needed to say and I am going back to the Muggle world for good."

"I think there is something to say." He sat down where he was sleeping and cleared his eyes. We were facing each other but I couldn't look him in the eyes. His shirt was lodged a little high and I could see some of his stomach muscles and… Oh my god, are you seriously ogling him right now? Get it together!

"Where to begin, hmm? Ah, why were you leaving me?"

I stared at him. Leaving him in seventh year or leaving him now? Either way I hesitated but decided on the safest answer I could think of.

"To get away from here, of course."

"Why?"

"Because I realized that I don't enjoy the company here. It's a little too crowded and I'd feel more welcome pretty much anywhere else."

He paused and looked at me. I thought I could repeat seventh year. I had to hurt him to save him.

"I'm going to ignore that, you know why? You're lying and I could always tell when you're lying. I thought all these years that you cheated on me. When I had tried to talk to you in seventh year, you ran the other way! I knew you were lying but clearly you didn't want to be with me anymore. So, now's your chance to clear the air. What happened?"

I covered my eyes with my hands and tried to find the resolve I had a few minutes ago. When he looked at me, he made me feel weak and all I wanted him to do was tell me everything would be okay and we could be together and… I knew it would never happen.

He came over to me while I had my hands covering my eyes. He kneeled in front of me and said "If I can do anything to help, please tell me. You know," he hesistated then, "I've thought about you a lot since seventh year."

"Don't, Ron. Please don't go there. You have no idea how much I think about you, about what happened and how much…I want to tell you. But I can't. You might try to do something rash or tell Harry and then both of you would be in serious danger."

"Harry?" he sounded confused. "What does Harry have to do with anything?"

"Everything! I'm trying to protect him!"

His face was lost in thought for a second then he grew angry. "You fancy Harry?"

I looked up at him. "Ron… no! Of course not, he and I are friends. Just, please. Talking with you after all these years has been perfect and I want to remember us as we are now. Safe, ok?"

As I looked down, he reached up to wipe away a tear from my face. I felt his warm touch again and leaned in. Then the tear turned electric and the Cruciatus Cruse tore through his body again. Oh my god, I've ruined everything!

When the curse had run its course he said, "Okay. I'm slowly learning if I touch you, I get pain. Let's avoid that, ok?"

But I wanted him to touch me. I wanted everything about him and I couldn't have him. I sprang up from the couch and on my way upstairs I whispered, "I'm so sorry Ron!"