I know I usually don't post authors notes but this had to be said. Thank you guys soooo much! I really appreciate the reviews and I feel loved. And for all of my friends and family that are reading this thank you for the support!
Chapter 5
Wait…What? He thinks I'm not eating on purpose? Really? "Jace, I would eat if I could-" He cut me off. "But you can! We can get through this!" He appeared very desperate. Oh, just wait. "JACE! Just listen to me for a moment!" He appeared shocked by my sudden outburst, but nodded anyway. "Jace, I'm not anorexic!"
"But then why do you look weak, and looked like you lost a bunch of weight. And I know you're not eating." He glared me down. "Jace, I-I-I'm... uh." I stumbled on my words, not quite sure how to tell the person you love that you're dying. "Save it. It's obvious you don't feel comfortable telling me."
He started toward the door. "Jace, wait." He spun around just as a wave of dizziness washed over me. I collapsed on the ground as strong arms wrapped around me.
"Clary! Clary! Answer me!" I tried to sit up as the dizziness started to fade away. "Jace, I'm alright." I choked out, he let go even if he doesn't believe me, and it looks like he doesn't. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" His concern was apparent in his shaky voice. I nodded seeing there was no way out of this. "Jace the other day I went to the doctor's office."
His face went really pale before he started freaking out. "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE PREGNANT?" I gaped at him. Why does every man always jump to the conclusion that you're pregnant when something's wrong?
"No! Jace, how can I be pregnant? I'm still a virgin!" He immediately calmed down as his concern morphed into embarrassment. "Oh yeah…" He scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly. "then why did you go?" I peered at his golden eyes and relief washed over me. "I got this really bad pain…"
I explained the rest and by the end I was in his embrace, sobbing in his arms. He began to whisper soothing things in my ear, and after a while I stopped crying.
Once I calmed down he looked into my eyes and his were filled with pity. One tear trickled down my cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb. His eyes stared directly into mine. "Why didn't you tell me?" I almost broke down again because the pain was so overwhelming in his voice. "Jace, I love you, I really do, but I just thought that is would be easier for you if I just slowly eased my way out of your life."
He stepped back as if almost not expecting that answer. "Clary, you think that if you just 'slowly ease out of my life' that I will be ok? That I won't be hurt by it or that I can just live with it wondering why you broke my heart. You act like that if you just walk away from my life I can move on. I can move on if my cat dies, hell I could move on if Maryse dies. But you, you are a part of me. If you die a part of me dies too, especially if I didn't know you were even dying."
I ran up to him and kissed him with all the passion I could muster, as a thank you so much. He responded and put his hands on my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and tangled my hands in his soft, curly hair.
We broke for air and I disappeared into his eyes which were filled with burning love, and with no surprise a hint of lust. I gave him a quick peck on the lips, before I grabbed his hands in mine. "How much time do you have left?"
His question brought back the memories of this week as I was remembered what it was filled with. Hell. I mumbled, "They don't know."
"Did you tell your parents?" I bit my lip and looked down at my shoes, as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. "Clary, you didn't tell your parents?" The confusion was evident in his voice. I shook my head; I didn't think I could find my voice. "Well you have to tell them. Speaking of which, where are they?"
His voice was stern almost trying to be my superior. I almost laughed at how funny it was; he defiantly was not the boss of me. "They're not here."
"No, really? Is that why their car isn't in the driveway." His voice was dripping with so much sarcasm that I could practically swim in it. "They never are." He spoke the last part so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.
"Jace, I haven't been able to tell them." Confusion portrayed his eyes. I repeated "They're not here." Something must have clicked because I could see disbelief written all over his face.
"Do you mean they left…And you're living… alone?" Anger brewed behind his eyes and it came bubbling to the surface. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ALONE?" He wanted to punch something, I could tell. When he's this angry he always wanted to punch something. At least it's out of love.
"It's uh….been a year…I think."
"And you didn't even think to tell me until now?... all those times when I hinted that I wanted to meet your parents…you didn't think to tell me that they're gone?"
"Jace, I-I-I'm sorry." I stuttered, pretty much on the verge of tears.
"Any other lies you want to share? Oh wait I forgot, I make you 'uncomfortable.'" He paused and turned towards the door. "Bye, Clary." I couldn't even comprehend what he just said.
Once the realization set in, my knees buckled underneath me and I dropped to the floor. He left me dying on the inside, all alone. But I kept reminding myself, it was my entire fault to begin with.
