Chapter 9

So I'm using FANgirl's idea, because I liked it, I'm going to change it up a bit, since I realized that Clary is very frustrated and needs to let her frustration out, but just remember, she is the in the hospital, dying...so she really can't do anything too serious...yeah. Thanks so much for the reviews! I really love them and they help with motivation and sorry it took so long to update, this school week is over I become way less busy, soccer and volleyball end, but play practice starts (if I get in) but I will try my hardest. Oh, and I don't know how long I should make this story...I could make it like 30 chapters or like 15..so let me know! Sorry for the long authors note! ENJOY! (:

Clary's POV

"What do you want Jace?" I hissed, not to thrilled to see my boyfriend or ex-boyfriend or whatever the hell we are.
He was nervously playing with his hands and guilt was written all over his face. "I know I haven't really been fair-"

"Do you think?" I threw my hands up in the air. And all of my anger, even I didn't know I had exploded out of me, "Jace, I'm freaking DYING! And you think it's alright to come waltzing in here after the way you treated me this week! I've been ALONE for years and that included when I still lived with my mom. When we started dating I thought, 'hey I really like him, maybe, I don't have to be alone.' But you sure as hell proved me wrong!" I huffed, all the while glaring into his golden orbs. I almost gave in then and there, but memories of our fight flooded my mind and I could feel my eyes turning into ice, not letting him break me further, you can't break what's already broken, I reminded myself.

I mentally signed, realizing I let a boy break me, when I was still picking up the pieces of my own life.

My phone buzzed signaling I had a text message, but not being in the mood to talk to anyone… I ignored it. My head inched up and my eyes were met with balls of golden honey, and instead of them wearing cockiness he had a bunch of different emotions swimming before me. As I searched them I came to turns with how bad he really did feel, but that doesn't make up for what he did, but it did make me soften, only a little.

He opened his mouth to say something but then the door burst open, and in walked Simon, with a nurse lady following him. "Sorry we were coming to ask you, but he ran to your room and got in before we could stop him." I giggled, only Simon.

"It's okay." She nodded and left me in a room with the two most important guys I know. My eyes lit up when Simon came into the room and out of the corner or my eye I saw Jace's jealous expression which only proved my action. "What are you doing here, Si?"

He walked over and sat down in the chair next to my bed. His face showed disappointment, he mock sighed "Clary, you have a phone for a reason, use it. I swear, sometimes it would be the same if you carried a stick around instead." (A/N My sister and I say that all the time with my dad. Hehe.) I shoved him, but my eyes were playful, his mirroring mine. "I didn't get your message."

He rolled his eyes, "I gathered that. Anyway, you didn't come to school and Jace, and I were freaking out." Simons eyes met Jace's and they seemed to be having a silent conversation without me, Jace's eyes evolved and now were glistened with gratefulness.

Simon nodded and turned his head back to me, "I think you two have something to discuss." I sighed; it was going to eventually happen anyway. He got up, but I stopped him, "Wait! Before you go, can I ask you a favor?" His face betrayed fear, but nodded anyway. "What?" I waved my hand and told him to come closer. Once he was close enough, I whispered something in his ear. He pulled away, and now his eyes were full of mischief. He nodded and made his way over to Jace, where he proceeded to smack him upside the head, repeatedly.

Jace's hand whipped out and he turned while punching Simon in the face. His head flew back and he fell on the ground. "JACE, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" I screamed, my face matching the color of my head. He looked toward Simon. His eyes screamed guilt and fear. Then it dawned on me, when Jace was little this is what his father would do to him.

*Flashback*

Jace and I were at my house in my bedroom, where we proceeded to make out. My hands made their way to the hem of shirt, and started to pull up when he pulled away and backed up against a wall in my room. He was terrified, and seemed to be having an internal fight. Jace was visibly shaking, when suddenly he snapped his eyes shut. His knees gave out underneath him as he slid his back down the wall. I gently walked over to him and sat in front of him, but he didn't even notice I was in front of him. He pulled his knees to his chest and started rocking himself back and forth, mumbling things to himself.

Why was he freaking out?

Then his voice rang throughout the silent house. "No dad, please stop! Please stop!" He started whimpering and hyperventilating. So this was about his dad, this must be why he never talks about his family, if he has one. I leaned over and softly put my hand on his shoulder. Something seemed to snap in him and his hand came out and slapped me across the face. I pushed back and put my hand to my cheek. It was stinging, and I was hurt, not by what he did but why? Why would he slap me?
His head snapped up and looked directly at me. He saw me cradling my cheek and it seemed to click in his head what just happened. The expression on his face shouted horror, and a touch of guilt. He stood up quickly and stumbled to my door, and tried to escape me house. Yeah right, I was defiantly going to let him leave without an explanation. I bolted after him, and yanked his arm back before he could open my front door.

His eyes were roaming around the room, trying to find something to look at other than my face. I let go of his arm and grabbed his head, "Jace, look at me." He shook his head and I could see that the water works were about to explode.

Even if he still didn't want to I made him turn his head to look at me. His face made my heart shatter, all this time I thought I was broken when my parents left and he was picking back up the pieces, but it turns out he was broken, more broken than me. His head slowly inched up until his glassy eyes met mine.

I moved my hands and wrapped them around his neck. He leaned into my touch, and this seemed to calm down his shaking. After a few more minutes of relaxing, I picked up his head and gazed steadily into his eyes. "Jace, what happened?"

His laugh was so cold; it sent chills down my spine, and not the pleasant kind. "What hasn't happened?"

I stared at him with a silent look, egging him to keep going. He caught my silent plea, "Clary, if I told the reason I am like I am today, you would be disgusted."

I shook my head, "Your problems are my problems Jace. Trust me, it can't possibly be that bad."

He shook his head, but took a deep breath anyway, "Clary, my childhood wasn't the best." I titled my head to the side and my eyes were lit up with questions. "What do you mean?"

He took another deep breath before saying, "Let me show you." His hands made their way to the hem of his shirt and hesitated for a second before slowly lifting his shirt.

Underneath his shirt was scar after scar. They lit up his entire shirtless form and everything clicked inside my head. "And that's not even the worst."

He turned around and lifted the hair in front of the nape of his neck. A small gasp erupted from in a side of me. It was completely white with crisscrosses' here and there. I touched it, and smiled when I felt him shiver beneath my touch.

I whirled him around. His eyes immediately found mine and were intensely searching them. He closed his eyes, "Please just tell me how weak I am, I can't take the suspense. Just say it already."

I was outwardly shocked by his assumption, "Just say what already? That I love you no matter what? That you think this changes anything about how I feel about you? Jace, I love you that will never change, not even if I wanted to."

His eyes suddenly burst open, and were immediately searching mine, for any lies or doubt, but I knew he wasn't going to find anything. He wrapped his arms around me and I was engulfed with warmth, not that I'm complaining. His hands found the curls on top of my back and started toying with them. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?"

I laughed, "No, but I'm pretty sure I just did." He chuckled and returned to my hair. He leaned his head in my shoulder. "I love you," he muffled in my shoulder and I smiled knowing how much closer we got, that it proves nothing can break us.

*End of flashback*

I looked at Jace and nodded, while opening my arms up. He stumbled over to me and sat down in my bed while I held him. He was shaking considerably, and talking to himself. All the while I kept telling him, "Shh, you're not like him. You are strong, you're not like him." He didn't sob, just gripped me, as if he was thinking I would slip through his fingers. I slipped my fingers under his chin and pushed his head up until his glassy eyes met mine. "Jace," I said sternly, "You. Are. Not. Like. Him."

He stood up and I glanced behind at Simon who was giving the most confused look I have ever seen. I cracked a smile at this and just gave him a look that said "not now." He nodded and turned to leave, telling me some excuse about having to do something important.

Jace sat down in the chair next to me and grabbed my hand, rubbing circles with his thumb. He quirked his head towards me and smiled, "You were strong for me, and now it's my turn to be strong for you." I gave him a heartwarming smile and gently squeezed his hand. He returned the squeeze and I fell asleep to the gentle touch of his hand.

Yea, not much violence but I wanted to explain Jace's back story, because no one is that cocky and rude without having some sort of issues, no matter if he is a fictional character or not. Also Jace is not living with his abusive dad anymore, he moved out since he is 18, Clary's 17 by the way. R & R Please! Love you guys! (: