Edward watched from his window a moment, forlorn eyes watching Kim as she spun in the garden, the soft white snowflakes falling into her still softer golden hair. He stood impossibly still, his watery eyes following her, the only movement he made as the light winter breeze picked up her hair. He missed her
His metal fingers clicked together, the sound echoing through the room and adding an eerie sort of music to the winter night. She was quiet as she spun, and he felt the sadness inside of him growing. She was just as beautiful as the last time he saw her, a year ago, a terrible night, which ended his chance with her. All one lonely year ago.
It was about a week ago, that she had started to come up to the house, and dance in the snow. Her breath, like milky lace, spinning in the air as she exhaled. He watched her every time, and she would twirl around the gardens in the snow, but she never came in. She never tried the door, never dared to look at the windows. She only danced peacefully, a bittersweet happiness with her as her fingers traced the dying roses.
Finally the snow began to slow, and Edward watched her face one last time before returning to the sculpture he was making of her, carving with extreme care her loving eyes, and her delicate hands, even a few, thin strands of her hair, flying around her. He returned to the window, watching as she began to rub her arms, urging some warmth into them before she glanced once more at the house, her eyes not focusing on any one spot before she began to step away, on her way back to a warm house.
Raising a scissored finger to his face, he wiped absentmindedly at a single tear that began to crawl down his face. He didn't bother to jerk his face away as he sliced himself again, only a small cut and he held the hand away from him, watching the tear sliding down towards the blade. It met with the thin strip of blood, and then a single drop fell, feet and feet and feet until it splattered below him, the smallest red stain in the perfect white snow.
And she stopped.
Kim turned as if to glance at the window, but her eyes only passed over it for less than a second before she looked back to the drop of blood, a little way in front of her. She stared at it, almost shocked, before she walked to the house, leaning against the door and pressing it open with all of her weight before making her way up the long staircase, jittery with excitement but still walking slow, terrified of being let down.
"Edward," she called out softly, her low voice resounding through the empty mansion.
When she reached the door to his attic room, she pushed it open gently, entering calmly and looking around the empty room. "Edward," she whispered. He stood in the shadows, almost hoping she wouldn't see him, afraid to say good-bye again. "Edward, I know you're in here," she whispered. Her eyes searched the room for him and saw the glint of metal in the full moon-light. "Edward, I can see you."
"Hello Kim," he said softly, the shy tone still coating his voice.
She ran forward, her dress billowing around her legs and she threw her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest. "I miss you Edward," she sounded ready to sob, but she held him tightly. He put his arms around her carefully, not quite touching her for fear of hurting her at all. She just stayed that way, her arms around him tightly while he almost held her for a few minutes. "You can't stay," he murmured softly, his voice never very loud.
"I don't want to go back," she whispered. He did his best to gently stroke her hair, his fingers bent as best he could away from her, trying to comfort her. "It's no the same without you, I…I had to come here. To be near you. But I—I was so afraid, Edward. I could never, never come inside because I—I was terrified that if I looked for your face in the window…that…it wouldn't be there."
He stayed silent, regretting never saying something to her, regretting the pain he caused her. But…she couldn't stay. No, she would get sick, or starve or someone would come looking for her. Nothing could ever go right for the two of them. As he thought, she seemed to come to the realization herself, loosening her grip around his waist to step back and look up at his face. "I love you," he promised her.
She nodded carefully, licking her lips and looking at the floor for a minute. "I can't come back again," she muttered, more reminding herself than Edward. She wouldn't be able to do this again. Every single time, both of them would only fall harder. She stood on her toes, kissing him on the lips before silent tears began to crawl down her face but she didn't let go. Kim slid her arms around his neck, clinging on to him while the tears ran down her face. "Don't make me do this, Edward, please don't make me go."
Desperately he tried to think of a way to calm her down. "You're cold, Kim," he said, the concern returning to him as he felt the side of her head against his neck. "I don't want you getting sick," he told her.
"Edward please," she begged him, "don't do that. I'm happier to be with you, I'd rather die with you than live out my life never knowing you were here!"
Using his arms, he squeezed her tight against himself and gently let her go, pressing her shoulder to have her let go of him. Edward looked at her, knowing he wasn't making the right decision. They couldn't ever get away with this. "You can stay," he said softly, "I'll make a fire. You can't get cold."
Kim nodded, pressing her lips together a second as she crossed her arms, running her hands up and down to warm herself. Edward came back up from the basement, fumbling over the logs as he tried to place them on the fire. "Oh!" He cried, sharp but low and Kim rushed forward as he tried to roll his shoulder up to hide his face.
"Edward," her hand pulled at his shoulder so that he turned and she could see the inch-long cut near the right side of his nose. "Oh dear," she bunched up the hem of her skirt as she sat next to him, gently dabbing at the blood that came out. "It's okay," she soothed, smiling. The pain was nothing to Edward, he was growing used to larger cuts as well and he smiled as Kim sat next to him, doing her best to comfort him.
Kim sat near the fire warming herself when Edward finally returned from parts of the house, a heap of blankets in his arms. "Thank you," Kim said, calmer now she was allowed to stay. She wrapped the blanket tightly around herself until Edward finally sat, and she scooted next to him, pulling the blanket across his shoulders to share.
The fire began to dim, but Kim's eyes had already begun to droop as she leaned into Edward's chest. Eventually, he began to fall asleep as well, and shifted, careful not to wake her, so that he was lying with her close to the fire before he finally let his eyes close.
The next morning they were both woken by the sound of the door slamming, and the two scrambled up to hide. "Edward," Kim asked, slightly frightened, "what do we do?"
Edward was careful getting up, Kim clearly not paying any attention to his dangerous hands and he led her to the darkened corner of the attic, it being the only hiding spot left. Together they crouched down, Edward slightly shielding Kim, both hoping that they wouldn't be seen through the darkness of his clothes as the heavy door was shoved open by their visitor.
"Kim!" The voice snapped, and the door opened fully to reveal, in perfectly matching clothing, Kim's mother. Neither moved, no longer so much from fear, but a sort of relieved shock, as her mother went on. "Oh, Edward," pity was laced through her voice, and a bit of happiness at seeing him once more. "I can't believe you would put up with this." Slowly he stood up as she bustled up to the two of them, throwing her arms around Edward in a motherly way and holding him tightly before releasing him, and grabbing at Kim, pulling her to her feet.
"What's wrong with you young lady? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? Do you have any idea what you could have done to him? Hmm?" Her speech was a torrent of accusations, the duration of which Kim kept pleading her, "Mom!" to stop, but she was ignored until Peg finally stopped, breathing deeply and rolling her eyes at her daughter before looking apologetically at Edward. "Merry Christmas, Edward. Kim, you're sure lucky I was able to get everyone at the party believing me that you went to your aunt's, now let's go before you can cause any more damage." She grabbed at Kim's wrist, and a soft but bitter smile crossed her face as she glanced to the helpless Edward. "I'm sorry for this."
But Kim ripped her hand away from her, stumbling backwards to Edward as her mother's eyes flew open in surprise. "No!"
Slightly irritated, her mother turned around, her voice firm. "Kim, don't do this to me. Don't do this to Edward. Do you know the trouble you two could have been in? Do you know what could have happened? You could have had him killed, Kim, do you understand that?" She paused, waiting for her words to take their full effect before reaching to grab her daughter again, but Kim still ripped herself away, backing further away so that she was up against Edward.
"No. I'm not leaving Mom. I'm not leaving him."
Peg sighed, almost defeated, and she looked between Edward's helpless and loving eyes to Kim's defiant face, and the way her hand clung at Edward's chest, and how safe she looked with her other hand so close to his own dangerous one, where he was trying desperately not to let her hold his hand. "Kim—" she started, her voice strained, but she didn't know what to say. What could she say? Don't fall in love? What mother told her daughter that? She sighed again, and looked at them, helpless herself now. "What will you two do? They'd look for you here, Kim. They know we can't afford some fancy boarding school."
Edward opened his mouth, no doubt to reluctantly agree with her, because he knew Kim wouldn't be able to even visit. It would be much too suspicious for her to come to the manor with any sort of frequency, but Kim still cut him off. "We'll run away."
Peg was taken aback for a second, but she shook her head, clearing any possibility of agreeing and leaned forward to reach for Kim, trying to pull her from Edward, who stood somewhat unsure of himself, and shocked at the entire situation. "Kim, be reasonable—"
Kim seemed surprised at herself, but she wouldn't let her mother pry her hand off of Edward's chest, and instead looked to his face, sounding almost breathless with a sort of hopeful excitement. "I'm serious," her eyes started to glow as she looked, almost begging, at his face. "I'll run away with you. Edward, run away with me."
He could feel a mix of emotions flooding him –joy, fear, excitement and so much more that he couldn't even start to name, but he was still able to just manage an affirmative nod and a soft, almost inaudible, "Yes."
"No, Kim." Peg began to sound impatient, and was frightened at her daughter's determination to stay with him. Instead of pulling at Kim, she pushed Edward back, knowing he wouldn't resist for fear of hurting either of them and grabbed Kim's wrist to pull her away before she could run to Edward again. "Think Kim, what will you do with your life? Hide, forever?"
"What about Edward mom?" Her voice sounded almost accusatory, "Do you want him to hide here forever?" Fuming, she tore her hand from her mother's wrist, but didn't move towards Edward again, as if trying to be somewhat mature would force her mother to see what was happening.
After a few minutes of silence, Peg finally sighed somewhat brokenly. "What am I supposed to do Kim?" She paused, taking a breath to prepare herself for the explanation she would have to give. "What will the neighbors say? If you disappear, they'll all go looking for you. They'll know you're with him if they think that you just ran."
Kim swallowed, her voice somewhat desperate as she glanced towards Edward before looking back to her mother. "We could take him home again, we could hide him there."
"Kim," Peg said soothingly, seeing the sorrow starting to build in her daughter, "would you really want to put Edward into that sort of danger? If we leave now they'll all assume you were just…looking. That he really is dead." She seemed to almost choke on the last word, looking distressfully at Edward, but forcing the word out.
"But we could--," Kim finally paused, not sure what to say. What argument could she give? Her mother was right.
Crossing her arms, she turned away from both of them and wandered slowly to the window overlooking the town. "If only they could see him like I do," she said gently.
Edward walked after her, but her mother came directly behind her and laid a hand on Kim's shoulder. "But they can't. They can't see past appearances—"
"That's it!" Kim exclaimed, turning to face her mother and a surprised Edward. "Mom, we can take him back. All we have to do is change how he looks a little…" She looked at Edward and walked slowly towards him, her mother not stopping her this time. "Edward," she said imploringly, "will you come back with us?"
He looked at Kim, but didn't hesitate to nod and say in his ever-soft voice. "Yes."
"Kim," her mother cut in again, "you know I would love Edward to come back but we can't do anything about his hands."
"Yes we can," she said, spinning to face her mother but holding one of Edward's arms, as if she were to slide her hand into his but both of them knowing that she couldn't. "That surgeon—remember, from the show you two were on? Ask Mrs. Peterson; tell her, I don't know, I want a nose job before college. He can give Edward real hands."
Peg looked from her daughter's pleading face to Edward's hopeful eyes and finally her shoulders dropped in resignation. "If you two will risk it," she said, "I'll find that surgeon."
* * *
Edward laid down, somewhat frightened of what could happen, on the bed, his hands flat at his sides. The blades clattered against the metal tabletop and startled him but the doctor pressed a hand on his shoulder. "Just lay down boy, it will be all over in just a few hours."
"You know," he said, preparing the anesthetic to make Edward sleep while he was operating, "I heard about you. Must be strange, growing up like this." He nodded towards Edward's hands before coming back to him. "I heard you were dead."
"No," Edward said, his eyes following the doctor's hands and his voice trembling slightly. Could they be turned in before he was even out?
The doctor smiled at him warmly, reaching for Edward's elbow and cutting open the strange suit the inventor had made for him. "Don't worry," he said as he slid the needle into the soft skin of his inner elbow, "your secret's safe with me."
When Edward finally awoke, he was still in the operating room, and the kindly surgeon was standing above him, looking at him with pride. "You're done boy," he said, and the surgeon's hands trailed towards Edward's hands, which he was clearly proud of having accomplished.
Edward leaned forward, and pushed himself up on the metal table. Slowly, he brought his hands up in front of his face and stared wide-eyed at them. He moved as if in a dream, turning his hands slowly to see the palms, to examine his fingernails, moving his fingers, admiring the new ability for him to make a fist or curve his fingers. It seemed almost surreal, that he was finally, completely human.
"You like them?" The surgeon said.
"Yes," Edward said, still staring at them, familiarizing himself with his new body parts. His left hand was the slightest different shade of white, and a part of him suddenly realized that he had a real person's hands. "They're not—" he started, a small gasp of horror.
"No," the surgeon chuckled, "they were donated, before the people died. Don't worry about anything having happened to them."
He slid off the table, and reached out for the surgeon's hand, shaking it firmly. His first ever handshake. "Thank you."
The surgeon pushed the door open and he walked down the hall, pushing the door open to the waiting room where Kim was sitting, almost twitching with impatience in her chair. "Edward!" She jumped up, rushing over to him, and pausing, appalled at his hands even though she had expected it.
He reached the hands up carefully, loving them but still not completely sure of them, as if they weren't really him yet. Kim stood still in front of him and he brushed his fingers along her cheekbone, sliding his hand down along her jaw and he smiled his loving smile as she leaned her head into his hand.
Her skin against his hand, he realized that this was the beginning of their happily ever after.