Sometimes he wonders how would it be to have a home and a real family. Carnie people aren't exactly known for their settled lifestyle, and his so-called father is more of a slave driver than anything else.
He never allows other people to get too close to him, for fear that they might break his heart like his mother did when she ran away.
That's until he meets Angela.
xxx
He doesn't know his real name, admitted his mother ever bothered to give him one. She dropped him off at the carnival shortly after his birth, and he's never heard of her again.
Ronald the lion-tamer nicknamed him John Doe once, and that's how everybody has been calling him ever since. When they don't just call him bastard, that is.
Ron's beasts are the only friends he's ever had.
xxx
After a long tiring day of work – that's how he refers to his psychic act – he's always happy to come home to his family. He usually tiptoes to Charlotte's bedroom and drops a kiss on top of her head, before sliding in bed beside his wife.
His steps sound hollow in the quiet of the hall tonight. He walks upstairs and pauses when he finds a note taped to the door.
Dear Mr. Jane, it says. And all of a sudden he doesn't have a home anymore.
xxx
He thinks that someone has to pay for what he's been through in his childhood.
(People at the carnival have always known he's the reason why Alex's wife ran away.)
So he starts killing random women, as a sort of punishment for what his mother has done to him. When his half-brother dares to speak about him on TV he's quick enough to grab the chance to punish him as well.
He's the last thing his sister-in-law and niece see before their blood drenches the immaculate sheets.
xxx
"You can't kill me. I'm your brother, Patrick."
"That's a lie."
"You know it isn't. I've never seen our mother, but I've been told I'm her spitting image anyway."
"My mother ran away when I was three."
"That's because she got pregnant with someone else's child. But she brought me back to the carnival before disappearing again."
"You killed my wife and daughter. I don't care who you are."
Their guns go off at the same time, and blood is thicker than water indeed as it mingles on the floor.
xxx
"Am I dead?"
"It's been touch-and-go for a while – but no, you aren't."
"What about Red John?"
"He passed away before we even arrived on the scene."
"Was he really my brother?"
"Perhaps we'll never know."
In the silence that follows he can hear his own heartbeat and the ticking of the clock that fills his hospital room. She stands there alive and beautiful, and suddenly the words tumble out of his mouth.
"I want to go home. With you."
"You can't. Doctor's orders."
"Will you wait for me?"
"Have I ever done anything else in the last ten years?"