Los Angeles, USA; 2005

Phase II

"But where were you
When it all came down on me?"
Fire coming out of a monkey's head, Demon Days/

/"Don't go over the edge."
Don't get lost in heaven, Demon Days.

Crashing from bar to club to party with Murdoc, they almost felt like best mates. New York and LA and Miami were starting to all look the same. They didn't stick together all night, Murdoc was always chatting someone up, but he never went on to somewhere else without 2D. And sometimes he didn't even seem to hate him all that much. It was one of those rare times, so seldom in their career, that he and Murdoc were true friends, bandmates in it together. Or maybe 2D was just was the kind of cheap glamour everyone associated with fame, that everyone needed a slice of at some point. The lights were too bright, people's perfume and cologne too strong, but didn't mask the stench of sweat, and there were too many people who were strangers rather than friends. And the sad thing was, 2D was rather used to it. Even enjoying himself. This was the best his relationship had been with Murdoc since Paula.

Murdoc had been acting...indifferent, at best, to 2D's new found backbone but sometimes, like now, 2D liked to think he saw the difference. Respected him for it in his own way. Murdoc may have gone out with him in the past, but wouldn't have been seen dead with him in a place like this, however smashed he was. He'd gone up a notch in Murdoc's eyes, he was sure of it. His eyes sought out Murdoc as he thought this.

That night, Murdoc was in a bad way, even for him. He had been trying to get 2D to have a threesome with him and his hooker friend, and 2D had been drunkenly laughing it off. As he was sobering, though, it was starting to make him feel uncomfortable.

"Murdoc? The taxi's 'ere to take us to Cheryl's," 2D said diplomatically. The taxi was actually to take them back to their hotel, where 2D could deposit Murdoc in his room and lock himself in his own.

"Been lookin' for you," he mumbled drunkenly. Then 2D's words seemed to process in his brain. "Wha'? Who?"

"That girl, remember?" he lied innocently, taking Murdoc by the arm and trying to get him through the crowds. It was harder than he expected, and he thought he might be drunker than he realised.

"You liar. You're taking me home. I know you, D."

2D took no notice. He'd fall asleep in the car and then forget everything when he woke up.

Sure enough, Murdoc came pliantly enough, and then 2D had to drag the barely conscious Niccals to his bedroom. Murdoc kept saying, "D...D..." but 2D took no notice of him. He just wanted his own bed. "Got to talk to you, shithead," he said now, barely intelligibly.

2D unhooked his arm from his shoulder and eased him onto the bed. "In the morning," he stumbled back to the door, and stared at it in bemusement when it wouldn't open. He struggled to think through the fog of alcohol; had it locked itself? Had Murdoc somehow locked it from under 2D's arm? Was he completely fucking retarded?

He turned back to Murdoc, but found the older man to be dead to the world. Even in that state, Murdoc managed to look good as he slept; he didn't snore, and his mouth was closed. When he was that quiet, he was almost beautiful. 2D shook his head a little, snapping himself out of it. When the door still didn't budge, and because he was drunk, he flopped onto the other end of Murdoc's bed and fell into a stupor himself. He couldn't snap himself out of it. He thought he'd got a bit of sense since he'd been gone, but he knew, deep down, that he would still do whatever Murdoc wanted him to. He loved Murdoc. Did he? He loved Noodle and Russel. And Murdoc was his best friend. But he wanted him. It was making his head hurt.

2D woke up to five frantic messages from his mother. Now sober, he found that the door opened easily enough; he must have been really out of it. He left without waking Murdoc, and didn't see him again until a good month after the funeral.

Back in Kong, the atmosphere wasn't great. Noodle and Russel were subdued, quiet, their thoughts going out to their absent bandmate. The lamb missing from the herd. Murdoc wasn't spending too much time in Kong; he left his winnebago only when he ran out of food, and to check their messages. He was sure Noodle would knock if 2D called, but still. The rain annoyed him, loud enough to make TV or music unenjoyable. It was always fucking raining here. Kong was like a modern, more fucked up Wuthering Heights.

He lit up a cigarette the minute he finished his former one, and put his feet up. Cortex was sqwarking somewhere in the haze of smoke, but he took no notice. It took a lot to make him feel guilty, and now the emotion was upon, he examined it with a kind of repulsed fascination. Taking a moral perspective wasn't him, but he was just beginning to think about when he had found out 2D's dad had died; the relief. Fuck, the relief of it. He'd had to sit down. He'd woke up knowing, just knowing someone had slept beside him, and sure enough the sheets smelt of butterscotch. It could have been a coincidence, but when he dragged himself up and no-one could find 2D, his bed was unslept in, he was sure. Then he'd found out. They hadn't slept together. He hadn't made another ridiculous pass, despite his memories of clearly thinking it would be harmless. 2D had scarpered because his dad had died, and it had been a relief. And it was only now that it was beginning to hurt.

He felt sorry for 2D. He couldn't get in touch with him for nearly a month. Neither could Noodle and Russel, but he thought they may be in private, and 2D may have begged them not to tell. He wouldn't put it past them. But it was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. He couldn't help it. He cut down on his drinking, in case 2D called or suddenly showed up. He made sure Damon or anyone would not call 2D with anything other than personal concern and bother him or there would be hell to pay.

He turned up at Kong in the rain. The taxi driver had taken him as far as the bottom of the hill, and just looked at 2D when he pointed out that he lived on top of it. And so, he trudged through the mud in the vague direction of the lights through the trees. He had tipped the taxi driver because he felt he should, he always thought he should, and berated himself for it. No reception on his phone. There was a good chance he would be killed by zombies. Worst of all, he didn't take his key, so if his bandmates were out or the doorbell was on the blink again, he would definitely be dead before morning. He blinked hard in the rain. It was nearly 10pm and it was Saturday night; if he was lucky, Murdoc would be out or on his way out.

He rang the bell and knocked, for good measure, and wasn't kept waiting long. Murdoc answered in his usual manner, screwed up expression indicating that someone had yelled at him to, "Get that fucking door, Muds!" Then he saw who it was and his jaw went slack, eyes widening. "D," he said stupidly.

2D offered him a perfunctory smile and then pushed past him, as he was still getting soaked and Murdoc showed no sign of moving. That seemed to snap him to life a little.

"He's back!" he shouted into the house. In a second, they heard two sets of movements upstairs, scampering, heavy. 2D was taking his time in getting his wet coat off, and could feel Murdoc's eyes on his back.

"Get here all right?" he asked awkwardly.

"Yep."

It didn't take long for their first argument to break out. Over supper, in fact. Murdoc learnt that 2D had walked up the hill through the zombies and was livid. "You fucking MORON!" He yelled.

"The taxi wouldn't bring me up and there was no reception on my phone! Want did you want me to do?"

"Fucking think, for once in your life! Go back to town and call from there, pay him a hundred quid to drive you up, anything! You fucking dullard, how could you walk that hill at night? You could have died!"

"Shut up!" he yelled, and without thinking flexed his arm and threw the nearest thing that came to hand, a cup. It wasn't aimed anywhere near Murdoc, but it struck their equipment and cracked it with a horrible noise. 2D covered his mouth with his hand. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Russel and Noodle inched forward, ready to save 2D at any second, but Murdoc looked merely stunned. "It's OK," he said hastily, seeing 2D was about to cry.

But when 2D was unpacking in his room, Noodle came in and sat on his bed.

"Murdoc's sorry, 2D-san."

"He hasn't said so."

"He won't," she agreed. "But he was worried for you, and that is just how he showed it. He doesn't think."

He sat in the TV room, Noodle and Russel at either side of him. Murdoc returned after a while, and didn't say a word, but sat on the carpet next to 2D's legs. It was there, sandwiched between his second family, that he felt safe. Looked after. He closed his eyes. He had no time for Murdoc.

"Jesus Christ," Murdoc cursed viciously as they backed up. "I know, 2nd floor. Fire escape."

They ran for the seldom used fire escape and made it to the 2nd floor unscathed. The undead were still mostly making their way up the hill, and Murdoc had not yet taken any shots at them. Noodle was armed with a sword and 2D his switchblade, while Russel had been too surprised to get anything. The 2nd floor was a moment of genius on Murdoc's part; the lift did not go to the 2nd floor, never had, the stairs had been blocked off long ago by an error of design and so the only way up was the way they had taken; the fire escape. Murdoc told 2D and Noodle to watch this door while he and Russel checked around.

The 2nd floor was deserted. It was an odd, no man's land to their home; an empty, chilly corridor with 2 storerooms and a bathroom attached. The lift hadn't come up here when they first moved in and they had never bothered getting it fixed, and so never bothered coming up. They bypassed it on the way to the roof, and Noodle occasionally dumped shoes up here when her own closet became ridiculous, but that was it.

"All right," Murdoc said, when they returned to Noodle and 2D. "We'll barricade this with shit from the storeroom and wait for the phone reception to come back. Damon or someone'll notice something's up at some point and come and get us. In fact," he cut himself off. "Shit. We'll have to raid the kitchen before we make a barricade. I think they're blankets and stuff, but- "

"There's food, too."

Murdoc looked at 2D like he'd grown an extra head.

He continued apologetically, "There is. The lady at the cafe told me. There's not much room in the kitchen because we keep so much of our junk in there, so most of it is stored up here."

"But I didn't see..." Murdoc stalked off midsentence to a storeroom. Noodle and 2D stayed to guard the door. Russel still looked bewildered. "You beauty!" Murdoc shouted to 2D from the room. He ran back out and slapped 2D on the back. "There's a roomful! Plus loads of other junk. Come on, let's get barricading. Noodle, you stay by the door."

"But what if there's a fire?" 2D asked worriedly.

"Shut up, D." When the others didn't defend him, 2D knew he had probably deserved it.

"There," Murdoc exclaimed, when they were done. "They won't get past that lot without making enough noise to wake the fucking Queen."

"This is kind of cool," 2D murmured, almost to himself.

They looked at him, exasperated, and didn't comment.

2D followed Murdoc to the balcony, where he stood with his rifle. "Fuck," the bassist said as he took in the attack. "They can't climb, can they? Why the hell didn't we run for my Bago? We'd be out of here by now and on our way to the airport, back to Hollywood, instead of holed up here living on bread and biscuits," he said vehemently.

"Does it still work?"

"Of course it still works!" he snapped impatiently, though it hadn't moved in so long he couldn't be sure.

Something suddenly occurred to 2D. "Will Cortez be all right?"

"Of course he will, you dimwit, he can fly." Though he was secretly a little touched that 2D had thought of the bird. After a bit he went to make another sharp comment, when he glanced at 2D and saw the look on his bandmate's face that he was still getting used to. "I keep forgetting your dad's died." he said quietly.

"So do I," he said sadly. They watched the zombies below them.

Murdoc stirred. "Come on."

"I'll come in a minute."

"Don't mope. It'll make you feel worse."

"I know. I'll only be a minute."

Murdoc sighed. "A minute," he conceded, and tapped 2D with the rifle - a little too hard, but it was as close too affection as he got.

2D watched them all morosely. He'd been trying to be optimistic, for the others as well as for himself, but he couldn't help feeling that this was sort of due. They were paying for their behaviour in the States. He shivered, and went back inside.

Murdoc and Noodle kept first watch, while 2D and Russel slept. 2D couldn't sleep though. When he got up for water, he found Noodle had fell asleep against the wall, and Murdoc was letting her. He glared at 2D.

"Go to sleep, you moron. I don't want to be ripped apart when you're on watch."

2D didn't bother arguing. He stepped past and got himself a bottle of water, and an extra blanket for Noodle. Murdoc rolled his eyes as he covered her.

"You all right?"

"Peachy. Go to sleep."

He slept by Murdoc instead of where he'd been by Russel, and was surprised when Murdoc didn't stop him. He slept into an uncomfortable slumber.

It only took a day for rescue, which meant they had just about the perfect zombie experience when you think about it. No harm, no lack of food, not even that much panic. The others didn't quite see it that way, though. They went on hiatus, splitting up for what they didn't realise would be five years.