Aiko: SERIOUSLY!? SERIOUSLY, Chisette?! You SERIOUSLY went with that title

Chi: I couldn't resist… XD I don't even CARE how much people will hate me for that chapter title, I freaking LOVE it XD

Aiko: -.-; I swear, I'm working with a five year old….

Chi: FOUR! GET IT RIGHT!

Jokey's eyes gleamed as he gazed into the room, lying in wait for his prey.

Vanity and Farmer suddenly staggered in, clearly drunk. Vanity planted a sloppy kiss on Farmer's cheek and then giggled like a schoolgirl. "Wanna smurf a little 'fun'...? After all, we won't be able to do this too often when Daisy comes..."

Farmer chuckled, ending with a hiccup and stumbled slightly when he kicked the door frame, "Ah d'no, shugah, "he slurred, "It wouldn' be too good'a me t' take advantage'a ya when yer drunk, ya know."

" I asked juu first, I'm takin' 'vantage'a juu," Vanity retorted, the words slurred.

"Such naughty words from a lovely mouth like yers," Farmer's eyes were hooded as he wrapped his arms around his mate. "I'm gonna have t' teach you a lesson, shugah~"

"Ohoho~!" Vanity trilled. "Juu will, will juu~?"

Farmer chuckled again, taking a little nip at Vanity's neck, and smirked "Ah think Ah-" right about then, he was interrupted by a slight crash noise, coming from the kitchen. "Wha' was that?"

"I dunno," Vanity said, shrugging.

Farmer felt himself starting to sober up and think logically for a moment. He knew there was a killer on the loose, but he made sure he'd locked the doors and windows before he and Vanity went out for drinks. Still, thinking it better safe than sorry, Farmer let his mate go. "Go wait n' th' bedroom," Farmer said softly to Vanity, running his fingers over the wooden bat that he kept in the coat closet, "Ah'm gonna check n' make sure nothin's goin' on."

"Oh, fine," Vanity pouted. "But I'm gonna hold you to that punishment~!"

Farmer smirked in his direction, giving his rear end a lewd slap as he passed him. Farmer raised the bat over his shoulder, stalking quietly into the kitchen, listening for any sounds that would indicate someone in their small cottage. "Come out," Farmer half slurred, his grip tight on the bat, "Ah know yer here, Ah can hear you!"

"Wrong," Jokey spat, appearing behind Farmer, knife in hand, "this is ALL wrong."

Farmer jumped slightly, startled by Jokey's unexpected appearance, and turned around quickly. "Dad gum, Jokey, th' hell you doin in m' house?!" he exclaimed, raising his bat slightly, "Don'chu know there's a daggum killer on th' loose?" Farmer shook his head, just barely catching a glimpse of the knife, and froze. "Jokey... Why D'you have tha' knife..." he asked, fear creeping into him.

Jokey just spat, "WRONG!" as the knife fell, plunging itself into Farmer's chest.

"A-AH!" Farmer shouted, swinging the bat, landing it in Jokey's side, but dropping it as Jokey reared his arm to swing again. "VAN'TY, GET OUT'A TH' HOUSE! HE'S HERE! TH' KILLER'S HERE!"

"Too late," Jokey spat, once again stabbing Farmer, the knife lodging itself straight into his heart. Jokey smirked as the farmhand fell, and he selected a second knife. "Don't worry, Farmer," he growled, his smile still in place, "Vanity will join you in hell soon enough."

Farmer coughed and convulsed slightly, looking up at Jokey from the ground. "H-Hell... A' least AH'M not a murderer..." the farmhand coughed again, blood dripping from his open mouth as his eyes started to glaze. "V-Van'ty... A-Ah love y-you... Sh-shugah..."

Just like that, the farmhand's body seized up, and went completely limp, never to stand again. Jokey just rolled his eyes and stepped over the unmoving form, heading into the room where Vanity was fast asleep. "F-Farmer..." Vanity's eyebrows furrowed, sensing something wrong, and he tossed and turned slightly on their large bed.

"Wrong," Jokey spat, stabbing Vanity's shoulder, just missing his throat as he turned in the bed.

Vanity shot awake, still in a slight haze from the alcohol, and he screamed. "AIEEEE!"

When he saw whose hand was connected to the knife that had stabbed into his shoulder, his face turned absolutely white. "J-Jokey!" he breathed, nearly falling off the bed, backing away to the door.

Jokey glared at Vanity. He snatched the knife up, repositioning it in his hand. "There's no one left alive to help you," he growled. "Your mate is waiting for you in Hell." He lunged again, this time stabbing Vanity in the chest.

"N-NO! Y-YOU'RE LYING!" Vanity shrieked, fighting to get away, kicking Jokey HARD, right where ANY man is weakest, and scrambled out the door and down the hall, finding his poor mate face down on the kitchen floor, lying in a pool of his own crimson blood. "F-Farmer..." he breathed, paralyzed with grief and fear. "Oh, God, Farmer..."

Jokey, however, recovered quickly, and races up behind Vanity, his knife at the Smurf's throat. "Any last words, you sick faggot of a Smurf?"

Vanity's words trembled as he tried to swallow away angry tears. "F-F-Fuck y-y-you." he snarled, eyes closed, "Y-You're nothing b-but a COWARD. A Jealous, Psychotic COWARD."

Jokey laughed and drew the knife across his jugular. "Goodbye, you sick Smurf."

The fragile smurf gurgled a bit, blood pouring from the wound, and fell to his knees. "F-Farmer..." he gurgled, reaching for his mate, then falling forward and becoming very still.

Jokey laughed. "That was easier than I thought!" he cackled to Tobias as the imp reappeared.

"Hmmph." Tobias glared down at the blood welling up around their feet. "It was careless, Jokey. Look at you, there's blood all over you. You're sure to get caught now." The imp shook his head, "At least that other queer can't talk, or else you'd be in some trouble." Tobias made a disapproving noise and nudged Vanity roughly with his foot. "And you didn't even do anything nearly as good with the fag as you did to that queer Tailor. He's the biggest fruit in the whole damn basket!"

"I have an idea," Jokey purred, seeing Vanity's mirror lying on the table. He turned the Smurf over and bent down, knife ready. "I think you'll like this," he smirked, beginning to cut Vanity's face off of his skull.

Tobias cringed slightly. "You're sick!" he exclaimed, then laughed.

"Good thing, too, because if I wasn't this would probably never work," Jokey laughed.

Once he had finished hacking Vanity's face off, he carefully drape it over the glass of the mirror. "Perfect," he purred. "Let's get out of here so I can take another quick dip in the river before we find another Smurf to prank.

"Yeah, you need it." Tobias replied, walking towards the back door. "Jeez, you reek like iron."

"Sorry," Jokey shrugged. "But I don't see YOU doing any dirty work here."

"I'm just not as good a pranker as you are, Jokey." Tobias said, seeming to have defeat in his voice, "I may have good ideas, but YOU'RE the one that can carry them out the best, you know."

"Well," Jokey smirked, "that's true."

Papa smurf had to make certain nothing and no one would disturb them when he gave the explanation. Before he could tell the smurflings what was going on, he had to make sure he wouldn't be needed, checking in on Dabbler and Tailor, and other such duties. but when he at last finished, he locked the door to his lab. "I need you boys to PROMISE me, right here and right now, that NOTHING you hear will ever leave this room."

"Promise," Nat vowed.

"Swear," Snappy agreed.

"Yeah, Promise." Slouchy said impatiently.

Papa smurf glanced around a little bit before he spoke. "Have you ever wondered why pets aren't allowed in the village for more than a few days?"

"Yeah," Snappy agreed.

"Of course," said Nat, a little ruefully.

"It's mainly because..." Papa smurf tried to find the right words for it. "Very... Unsmurfy things... Often to happen to them, when all the smurfs were children..."

"What sort of unsmurfy things?" Snappy asked, while Nat looked horrified.

"TERRIBLE unsmurfy things, Snappy..." the elder smurf shuddered. "Any small insect or animal that tried to make the village its home would turn up dead, usually brutally tortured."

"Wh-what?! Why!?" Nat whimpered, horrorstruck.

"There was no reason why," Papa smurf said solemnly, "there was no reason for this smurf to do such things."

Slouchy put a hand to Nat's back, to try and comfort the horrorstruck smurfling. "Who could SMURF such a thing, Papa smurf?" he asked.

Papa smurf seemed to hesitate for a good few moments. "Jokey...and, in a way, Tobias."

"Tobias?" Snappy repeated, confused. "Who the smurf is Tobias?"

"I think I've heard that name before," Slouchy murmured, looking up at the ceiling, "Jokey said something about him this morning, remember? Something about how he's his childhood best friend or something, but he went away."

"Yes," Papa nodded, then held up the empty pill bottle. "This is the reason Tobias left. Because Tobias is no more than a facet of Jokey's personality, or a hallucination."

"I don't get it?" Snappy replied, looking more confused.

Papa smurf put the pill bottle down on the table, glancing out the window. "Jokey smurf has paranoid schizophrenia. Tobias is one of many of his most prevalent hallucinations. As well as seemingly the most violent. Jokey believes that Tobias is telling him to hurt and kill."

"So it's Tobias's fault Jokey is killing?" Snappy asked.

"Yes, but no." Papa replied. "There's a missing piece to the puzzle. Jokey had been mostly stable on the medications up until Greedy was killed and Jokey no longer ate the food- that's how the medications were administered, via meals- there's another factor playing into this, but I'm not entirely sure what."

"I don't have any ideas..." Snappy trailed off slowly.

"J-Jokey has someone in his HEAD making him TORTURE and KILL people?!" Nat choked out in terror.

"In his head, to us, yes. But not to Jokey." Papa smurf's face was very serious. "But to Jokey he's as real as you or me. Tobias can even hurt Jokey in some ways, as well."

"What does that mean?" Snappy asked.

"Just what I said," Papa smurf replied, "Tobias is as real to Jokey, as I am to you. You can feel it when I touch you, and in his mind, Jokey can feel it when Tobias touches him, or does actual harm to him."

"So, could Tobias... Break a bone, or something?" Snappy inquired curiously.

"It's quite likely." Papa smurf nodded. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," Snappy said truthfully. "It seems pretty weird, you know?"

"It is," Papa smurf nodded in agreement. "The mind is a dangerous and amazing thing, smurflings. And when something's not alright with it, terrible things can happen."

"N-no kidding," Nat stammered.

Right at that moment, all four smurfs nearly jumped out of their skins at the loud sound of knocking. Handy's desperate voice called through the door. "PAPA SMURF! PAPA SMURF!" The door made a few clicking noises, as if someone was trying to open it, even though it was locked. "PAPA SMURF, THERE'S BEEN ANOTHER KILLING!"

Immediately, Papa rushed right to the door, unlocking it and letting Handy inside. The distraught writer looked as though he had seen a ghost. even his usually bright yellow pencil looked paler. "What's happened, Handy?! Who's been killed?!" Papa asked, looking scared of what he'd hear next.

"It was Vanity and Farmer," Handy choked out, "th-they went out for drinks with Grouchy and I, and I went over to check and make sure they made it home okay... the door was wide open..." the smurf's eyes widened, and he shook fearfully. "Oh god, Papa smurf, I think I'm going to be sick!"

"He's getting braver," Nat whispered. "He's never tried a double killing before..."

"You're right." Papa replied, "Since Gargamel and Azrael, every kill have been singles... what was so different about Vanity and Farmer?"

"I guess one was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." Slouchy shrugged.

"Maybe," said Snappy thoughtfully. "We should explore the scene, just to see if J- I mean, the killer, left any clues.

"Are you three sure you want to come along?" Papa smurf asked very seriously, "Judging by Handy's reaction these are NOT a clean kills..."

"None of them were clean killings," Snappy said. "The worst was Azrael; this can't be TOO much worse."

"Yes, I suppose you're right," Papa smurf replied with a shake of his head. "Right then, to the crime scene."

Snappy and Slouchy followed, Nat trailing behind a bit apprehensively.

The scene they entered on was a gruesome one. Blood dripped from the bedroom to the kitchen, there was a terrible stench of death in the air. Papa smurf almost had to go back outside to keep himself from being sick. Snappy pressed on, Nat and Slouchy following a bit more reluctantly. When they saw the grisly sight, Snappy felt his jaw drop and Nat turned, being violently sick in the corner. Slouchy Swallowed back the feeling of vomit in his throat, and looked down at the floor. "I guess Farmer was killed first." he muttered, "Then the guy went in the bedroom, where Vanity was sleeping... attacked him, but he managed to get at least out to here... and the whole f-face thing... that was after he died... there's not a lot of blood around the e-edge..."

Nat wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Y-yeah... G-guys... We have to catch him, before he can do this again..."

"We still don't know WHERE he is, though..." Slouchy pointed out disappointedly.

"We KNOW it's him," Snappy said, frustrated. "Why can't we just tell the others that?!"

"BECAUSE," Papa smurf replied. "If we tell the others, there'll be a panic. And Jokey will run, and we won't find him again until he takes more lives. The best we can do for now is try and find him ourselves. Snappy, Nat, go find Hefty. We'll need someone strong on our side."

The two nodded, dashing off in search of the village strongsmurf.

The smurflings quickly found Hefty hard at work chopping wood, and rejoined Papa smurf and Slouchy to find Jokey. "Remind me again, why do we need to go find Jokey?" Hefty asked, suspicion in his voice.

"Because he hasn't been seen all day, and I'm afraid something might've happened to him." Papa replied smoothly.

"Yeah," said Snappy. "We don't want the killer to find him before we do. But you should be careful anyway, insane he comes after you."

"Insane?" Hefty cocked a confused eyebrow.

"IN CASE! I'm pretty sure he meant to say IN CASE." Slouchy elbowed Snappy in the ribs.

"OW!" Snappy protested. "I know what I said!"

Papa turned back to them. "Shh! Both of you stop that this instant, we're supposed to be looking for Jokey! Not drawing attention to ourselves!"

"Sorry, Papa Smurf," the Smurflings recited obediently as Nat rolled his eyes at them.

"Good." Papa replied, facing forward again, "Now all we need is to find Jokey, and everything will be-"

Just then, the five heard an ear splitting cry. "It came from this way!" Slouchy pointed to a grove of bushes not far from where they stood.

Nat dashed over, Snappy on his heels and the others hot on their trail. Snappy pulled back the fronds to reveal Jokey sitting on Grouchy's chest, preparing to hack him apart.

"'I hate knives, I hate Jokey'," the Smurf mimicked in a tone filled with malice. "Does that mean you hate living, too?"

"I-I-I D-D-D-DON'T h-h-hate l-l-living!" Grouchy managed, shaking underneath the prankster turned serial killer.

"JOKEY! Put the knife down!" Papa smurf spoke calmly, slowly approaching him, "Grouchy didn't do anything, let's just put the knife down, and we'll talk like two smurfs."

"HE'S LYING!" Tobias roared in Jokey's ear, "He's just trying to get you unaware, so he can prank you too!"

Jokey glared at him. "Tobias says you're lying," he growled. "Tobias is always right; LIAR!"

Papa smurf drew Jokey's attention away from the others, and tried to lure him away from Grouchy before Jokey could make a move with the knife. "I'm not lying, come over here and see for yourself!" Papa smurf held up his hands. "See? No potions, no weapon, no nothing. I just want to talk."

"Liar," Jokey hissed again. "What should we do to him, Tobias?"

"Prank him, Jokey! Prank him before he gets you!" Tobias dug his nails in his shoulder, "You IDIOT! HOW could you let them get you!?"

"Jokey, Listen to me!" Papa smurf tried to reason with him, "I don't want to use force, but I will if I have to! Drop the knife, and let's talk about this like to civil smurfs."

"You won't prank me," Jokey spat. "I'll prank you first! I won't let you get me before I get you!"

With that, Jokey lunged at the elder with surprising speed, knife ready. Thankfully, Hefty had been watching the entire conversation, and was ready for when that happened. in one swift motion, he grabbed the delusional smurf, immediately knocking the knife from his hand and getting ahold of his arms. "You're not 'pranking' ANYONE, Jokey!" Hefty told him, "NEVER again!"

"Let me go!" Jokey screamed. "Let me go! Let me go NOW! I have to!"

"I warned you, Jokey," Papa said softly, taking a capped syringe from a pocket in his hat, and quickly poking it into a vein on Jokey's neck. "I didn't want to use force, but you left me no choice." On that word, he pushed the plunger, emptying the barrel completely.

Jokey felt his movements going weaker and his eyes beginning to flutter closed.

Papa smurf patted Jokey on the head, much like he did when he was a smurfling. "Just rest, Jokey... it'll all be over soon... shh..."

"Don't you fall asleep, you little pussy!" Tobias growled at Jokey, his voice fading with his consciousness, "Don't you DARE fall aslee..."

But Jokey was already gone, tumbling head over heels in an ocean of blissful, calming darkness.

Papa gave Jokey a few final soft pats to the head as the struggling smurf finally went limp. "There we go, my little smurf," his voice was gentle and calming, "It'll all be done soon... shhhh..."

Papa smurf made his way to where Grouchy sat, looking absolutely terrified. "Grouchy, are you alright? He didn't cut you or anything, did he?"

"H-he gave me a few nicks," Grouchy replied shakily. "The worst one is this one, on my shoulder." He pointed to a cut that was more of a long, shallow scratch than a cut.

"That isn't so bad, "Papa spoke gently, "Come with us, I'll get you a disinfectant for the cuts."

"Y-yeah," Grouchy agreed. "I'm just glad you turned up when you did..."

"So are we..." Slouchy nodded. "So are we..."

Chi: WELL! By show of hands, how many of you think that I am one sick puppy? Why, ALL of you? How on smurf did THAT ever happen?

Aiko: Oh, come off it, Chi-Chi. You can't take ALL the credit for that.

Chi: No, no, I cant…. You're a sick puppy too! :3

Aiko: and damn proud of it!

Chi: I'm guessing that the next chapter is going to be the final chapter/epilogue. God. I'll be glad to be done with this! T_T my poor stomach!

Aiko: Aw, man up, girl!

Chi: *just curls up in a ball* I don' wanna…. T_T

Aiko: -.-;