Harry's Ultra Large Kind

by witowsmp

Harry Potter, Hogwarts student, the Boy-Who-Lived, fighting to save Hermione Granger's life. Then an accidental exposure to troll blood alters his body chemistry... (It's not a complete crossover, but I think it's close enough to be of interest to Hulk fans.)

5. 5 Don't Make Me Angry

Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.

Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 5 – Don't Make Me Angry

The sound of birds singing woke Harry Potter up. However, he kept his eyes closed as he breathed in the scents around him. He could smell grass and quickly realized he was lying in a bunch of it. He also realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes and caught onto what had happened. "I changed again," he muttered to himself.

He spent a few moments trying to remember why he'd changed, and then it came to him. "Malfoy." He was beginning to wonder if he'd seriously hurt or even killed Draco as he finally decided to open his eyes. He was surrounded by trees, although they were all blurry due to his lack of glasses. "I wonder what forest I'm in," he mumbled before he was hit from behind by a red light. He fell forward, unconscious, only to be levitated by the Auror that had followed the Hulk from a distance, once Malfoy had contacted the Ministry.

-HULK-

He woke up again, not knowing how long it had been, in yet a different place. He opened his unaided eyes to see he was inside a small cell, lying on an uncomfortable cot, and dressed in prison stripes, although he still had his green friendship bracelet on. He sat up before hearing a scratchy voice from the cell across from his own.

"You're awake, Harry."

"Y-yes, I am. Who are you? Where am I?" he replied, beginning to feel a sense of dread.

"Where you are is a simple question. You're staying at the same luxury hotel I've been at for the past twelve years," the man answered ruefully. He had messy black hair and a dark, shaggy beard. His prison clothes appeared very old and worn out. "Azkaban prison."

"Azkaban? I've heard this is horrible! Even Hagrid was afraid of it!" Harry's panic increased exponentially. Then another horrible thought came to him. "Did I kill someone? That's the sort of thing you've got to do…"

"No," replied the stranger. "The guards said you broke a Malfoy's shoulder, which is probably healed by now, but, but they also said you're some kind of monster."

"They know," interrupted Harry with fear in his voice. "I turn into some kind of troll. It usually only happens when I'm hurt, but, but not always."

"You mean, it's true? I thought the Malfoys were just making it up."

"Yeah, but Draco started it. He's the one who started cursing people."

"Makes sense if the boy is anything like his father Lucius."

"Yeah. This year, Lucius tried to kill every muggle-born in Hogwarts."

"Sounds like him. I take it there was no proof or he'd be here, too."

"Right in one. I did trick him into freeing a house-elf, though."

The stranger started laughing. "I wonder what he told Narcissa happened to the elf."

"Narcissa?" asked Harry.

The man seemed to hesitate for a moment before responding. "His wife, my cousin, formerly Narcissa Black."

"And you are?"

"You haven't heard of me? The man who supposedly betrayed your parents to Voldemort? According to rumors, Voldemort's right-hand man? Your godfather - Sirius Black."

"Godfather? Hold on. Betrayed my parents? You…"

"Supposedly!" Sirius emphasized. "I'm innocent, and maybe if I EVER get a trial I could prove it…or maybe not. The point is that they just locked me in here and threw away the key."

"Like they're probably doing to me?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "I'm sure they're labeling you a half-breed monster right now, making it illegal for you to live. Do you have any idea how…hold on. Lie back down. The Dementors are coming. Try not to think."

"What are Dementors?" asked Harry.

"You'll find out," replied Sirius wearily. Harry couldn't see very well, but it appeared that his godfather got smaller and furrier.

-HULK-

At the same time, a woman at the Ministry of Magic, dressed in all pink, was smiling evilly as she proudly looked at the latest piece of legislation she'd pushed through, with the help of Lucius Malfoy, of course.

"The newly discovered species designated as weretroll, a human who can become a troll-like creature, is a dangerous XXXXX class monster that should always be incarcerated or killed. Anyone found guilty of attempting to create one will be sentenced to life in Azkaban."

There were more details in the treatment of this non-human filth, but the first paragraph set the tone very well. Dolores Umbridge placed her copy of the bill in her handbag and giggled at the euphoria of a job well done.

-HULK-

Harry Potter: The Boy-Who-Became-a-Troll

By Rita Skeeter

Eleven-year-old Harry Potter, the famous Boy-Who-Lived, has somehow become a troll-like monster. That's right – troll-like. He was chatting with his best friend, Draco Malfoy, on the Hogwarts Express, heading home after an enjoyable year, when suddenly he went into a daze.

"We were just talking when Harry went into some sort of trance. His skin turned green and he grew to the size of a giant. He growled at me and roughly pushed me into a wall, where I broke my shoulder," reported young Malfoy, who urged us to lock the creature in Azkaban for his own good, with tears in his eyes.

The rest of the Daily Prophet article went on to say how dangerous Harry was, and how legislation was being prepared so the Ministry could properly deal with the newly-named weretroll. In the meantime, he was being held in Azkaban.

Professor Dumbledore opted to read the rest of the article later as he contemplated this latest development. He soon opened the cabinet that contained his Pensieve in order to review a prophecy he'd heard long ago. He watched as the image of Professor Trelawney began to speak.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies."

For the first time since the prophecy was given, Albus Dumbledore questioned his own interpretation of it. "I always believed the power was love," he muttered to himself. "What if it's this transformation, instead?"

-HULK-

At the same time Dumbledore was reading the Daily Prophet, someone else was reading it, too. She was sitting at the table eating breakfast while looking through the magical newspaper that had been flown in by owl. Her parents were fascinated by the paper, staring over her shoulder as she read. Her mother asked, "Hermione, isn't that Harry Potter one of your friends from school? But if he is, isn't he twelve or thirteen?"

"Yes, and he's still twelve. His birthday's the thirty-first of July," she replied as a few tears started to run down her cheeks. "It's my fault! He took a curse meant for me!"

"And this curse turned him into…a monster, if the paper can be believed," asked her father.

"It couldn't have," she replied automatically. "Diffindo is the severing spell. It cut him."

"Someone tried to cut you?" asked Mrs. Granger, sounding concerned.

"Yes, that git, Draco Malfoy. Anyway, Ron told us that Harry had changed a few times before."

"Do trolls actually exist?" asked Mr. Granger as he looked at the article more closely, having picked it up from the table.

"Yes, I've seen one," answered Hermione before clapping her hand to her mouth. She had never discussed the dangers she'd faced at Hogwarts with her parents, trying to sugar-coat the few things she couldn't completely hide.

"When?" asked both her parents together.

She swallowed as she decided that she wasn't a good enough liar to convince them it was at a magical zoo. "Er, well, you see, in my first year, a troll sort of got into the castle on Halloween and Harry, with Ron's help, kind of saved my life."

"How did something like that get into the castle? Why weren't we informed?" demanded her father.

"Is that when you became friends with them?" asked her mother, realizing the timing of the event.

However, Hermione wasn't listening to either of them. Instead she was replaying that incident in her mind, remembering that the monster's nose had been bleeding…onto Harry…who'd been a bit scratched up. "Some of the troll's blood got into his blood!" she exclaimed, standing up. "That must be it!" She then concluded sadly, "So it is my fault. This happened while he was saving me." Then, a determined look came back in her eyes. Her parents had seen this virtually every time she had a piece of homework in her hands. "First, I'll write Professor Dumbledore. He might know what to do. If he doesn't, I'll find a cure."

-HULK-

Hulk's Identity Discovered

by Xenophilius Lovegood

This reporter's own daughter, Luna Lovegood, has discovered the identity of the creature known as the Hulk. It is none other than Harry Potter. She was sitting in her compartment on the Hogwarts Express with her friends, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Ginny Weasley, when Draco Malfoy, longtime nemesis of Harry and his friends, burst uninvited into the compartment, throwing insults and ultimately curses. He shot a cutting curse at Ms. Granger, but Mr. Potter heroically jumped in front of it, triggering the magnificent transformation.

"It was the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed," Luna stated, "even better than the lights that wrackspurts give off when viewed with a specterscope. Harry's skin turned a lovely shade of green, which matches a friendship bracelet I gave him perfectly. Then, his muscles grew and his shirt got ripped in the process…" The rest of Luna's statement might be better shown in a different publication. After the transformation was complete, Harry simply slapped Mr. Malfoy, who'd had much worse coming to him, and left the train. Unfortunately, he was arrested before an interview could be secured. One can only guess the origin of Harry's Ultra-Large Kurse.

"I hope that Harry gets to see the Quibbler in Azkaban," commented Luna to no one in particular as she looked over the new magazine her father had just printed. He was at the Ministry working on getting an interview with Harry. The picture she'd taken of Harry at his birthday party, as well as a drawing she'd made of the Hulk, was displayed with the article. "I hope he gets new glasses, so he can see the print. I wonder if they serve pudding there."

-HULK-

At the same time, in the horrific prison, which, incidentally, did not serve pudding to inmates, Harry was learning what a Dementor was. He began to feel a chill in the air shortly after Sirius stopped talking, and was now feeling more depressed by the moment. He sat down on his cot and squinted, trying to make out the appearance of his host. This seemed futile in the dark room, because all they seemed like to him were black cloaks with hands.

As one got closer, he began to hear a female voice screaming, "No, not Harry. Take me instead!"

-HULK-

Padfoot, even in dog form, wasn't completely immune to the Dementor's aura, especially today. He had to watch his godson being exposed to that foul creature, and was unable to do anything about it. Harry looked as though he were about to pass out, when suddenly his eyes changed. Even though the dog could only see in black and white, Harry's eyes seemed to be glowing. There was no mistaking it when his body actually got bigger, and the prison stripes were stretched to their limit and ripped open.

The creature got up and roared at the Dementor, who (being blind) hadn't seen what had occurred. It did flinch at the roar, and when his godson broke the door to his cell and pushed it right into the Dementor, it began screaming in pain. The Hulk turned, apparently looking for the exit, when Sirius decided he had to help his godson. He barked loudly, gaining Harry-troll's attention. He stared at the dog for a moment before taking the door to Sirius's cell in one hand and ripping it off its hinges, tossing it at the already pinned Dementor, who screamed again. Padfoot then followed the Hulk, who created his own doorways wherever he pleased, and before he knew it, for the first time in twelve years, he was free.

-HULK-

Sirius Black and Harry Potter escape Azkaban

By Rita Skeeter

Just yesterday, the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Become-a-Weretroll was sent to Azkaban prison, where he could be helped in a safe environment. No sooner had he begun to acclimate to his new surroundings when he endangered us and himself again by changing into his monster and attacking a guard. The weretroll did considerable damage to the prison during his escape, but that's not the worst of it. While he was escaping, he let Sirius Black out of his cell.

Many of you will remember how that, eight years ago, Sirius Black murdered fifteen muggles and one wizard with one spell. The wizard, Order of Merlin recipient, Peter Pettigrew, was confronting Black for betraying James and Lily Potter to You-Know-Who. That's right, Sirius Black was the worst of the Death Eaters, and now he's free to terrorize us once more, as well as teach young Harry how to best murder with his unique curse.

"There's no way to prove that Black and Potter are together," explained Minister Fudge, who looked flustered. "In fact, it would be foolish of Black to stay near Potter, because if the boy found out how Black had betrayed his parents to their deaths, the weretroll would kill him, and in this case, I'd say he deserves it." Both escapees are to be considered armed and extremely dangerous. The Minister has informed the muggle minister of this occurrence, in an effort to save their mundane lives, but their leader wouldn't believe him. "He said I was making this up and basing it on a cronic brook hero, whatever that is."

"I do hope poor Harry isn't with that Sirius Black," announced Molly Weasley, whose eyes were filled with tears as she read the morning paper. "This just gets worse and worse."

"I'm sure the lad's all right," replied Arthur. "Of course, you know he won't contact us."

"He can't believe we'd turn him in!" shouted Ginny, who was crying as much as her mother. She had by now learned the truth of what happened in the Chamber of Secrets, how Harry, in his troll form, had fought and killed a basilisk for her.

"Whether we will or won't is irrelevant," answered Arthur. "The Ministry is watching our house. If he gets within a mile of here, they'll catch him."

"And then he'll just escape again," commented Ron with a grin. "There's no way they can hold him."

"That's what I'm afraid they'll realize," Ron's dad replied grimly. "Then they'll try to kill…"

"We've had quite enough talk about this matter at the table," interrupted his wife. "Breakfast is getting cold."

Meanwhile, unnoticed by the rest of the family, a certain rat began slowly making his way toward the door. With Harry and Sirius together, Peter Pettigrew was not going to risk them realizing his identity.

-HULK-

Harry woke up, yet again, this time inside a cave. Sirius Black was standing near him, but he was too blurry for Harry to see his expression. "Harry, how are you feeling?" Sirius asked.

"I'm feeling fine, although I can't see well at all without my glasses. Where are we?"

"Not that far from Azkaban. You turned into that troll right after the Dementor arrived and broke out. I managed to get you to free me and followed."

"Oh," he replied, not sure what to say.

"An Auror followed us for a while, but I managed to bite him on the leg, take his wand and Obliviate him."

"You bit him?" he asked, a bit repulsed.

"Yeah. You have your form. I have mine." With that, he transformed into a huge black dog.

"Wow! That's cool," replied Harry before his godfather changed back into a man.

"How else do you think I could keep up with you as the, what did they call it, weretroll?"

"The Quibbler calls it the Hulk. I think I prefer that."

"Hulk, it is," he replied with a grin. "That will be your Marauder name. Mine's Padfoot."

"What's a Marauder?" asked Harry, figuring out that Padfoot had to do with the dog.

"What your father and our friends called ourselves. Your dad could turn into a stag, so he called himself Prongs. Our friend Remus was a werewolf, so we called him Moony." His expression suddenly became cold. "Then, there was Peter Pettigrew. We should've known what he would be when he learned to turn into a rat. He committed the crimes I was accused of, and faked his own death so he could get away."

"He betrayed my family to Voldemort?" asked Harry, beginning to look angry.

"Yes," he growled. "but you'd better calm down before the Hulk makes an appearance."

Taking a deep breath, Harry nodded, "I suppose so. It seems anger and pain can make me transform."

"It's really none of my business, but what memory did the Dementor bring up that made you transform?"

"My mum pleading with Voldemort for my life," he replied grimly.

Padfoot sighed sadly. "That's their effect. They take away all your happy memories and make you relive your worst."

"I guess that's not a good idea, when dealing with me," Harry replied with a smirk.

"I guess not, kiddo. You do know they'll have everyone looking for us, don't you?"

"That makes sense. I guess we should try not to get caught."

"Stick with me, and control your temper, and we should be able to keep one step ahead of them."

-HULK-

Daily Prophet

September 1, 1993

Hogwarts Year Started, the Ministry Still Clueless

By Rita Skeeter

It's been nearly two months since the Boy-Who-Became-A-Weretroll and Sirius Black escaped Azkaban, and still the Ministry hasn't found any clues as to their whereabouts. This reporter couldn't believe it, but Minister Fudge suggested posting Dementors at Hogwarts, just in case Harry Potter decided to visit his friends. Fortunately, that idea was shot down by the Wizengamot, where it was pointed out that if Potter hasn't been stupid enough to visit his loving family, his mother's muggle sister and her husband, Vincent and Patricia Dudley, he won't be stupid enough to try to visit his friends at Hogwarts.

"Well, that's a relief," commented Hermione as she read the newspaper on the Hogwarts Express. After spending most of the summer researching trolls and blood and anything else related to Harry's unique problem, she'd had absolutely no success. Dumbledore hadn't been particularly helpful either, his response indicating to her that he didn't think Harry's problem was all that bad, almost fated. In any case, she didn't know what else to study until she could actually examine Harry's blood. She had packed a microscope in her trunk, just in case.

"What is?" asked Ron glumly before biting into a chocolate frog. He hadn't quite been himself since his rat, Scabbers, ran away.

"Both that Dementors won't be stationed at Hogwarts, and that Harry still hasn't been caught."

"They wanted to put Dementors at Hogwarts?" asked Ron, looking shocked.

"Minister Fudge wanted to. The Wizengamot stopped him."

"That is a relief. Dad once visited Azkaban, and wasn't the same for days."

-HULK-

Elsewhere, Xenophilius Lovegood pointed his finger at a map of the Forest of Dean and declared to no one, "That's where they are!" He'd waited to reveal this guess until Luna was gone and he was alone. He didn't like how much his daughter was attracted to the Hulk. He simply figured that if he were on the run, he'd hide out in the huge forest.

-HULK-

In the Forest of Dean, a big black dog was sniffing the ground, hot on the trail of a deer. For the past few months, Padfoot and Hulk had been living off the land, keeping a low profile in the huge woods. Sirius figured that even if Harry transformed, as long as he stayed in the forest, no one would find out. He also knew that the Ministry of Magic didn't track magic done in the forest because there was no way to determine who performed the magic, since virtually any wizard could be in the forest. Therefore, he'd taught Harry to hunt with a wand they'd liberated from a drunken wizard who was staggering out of a nearby pub. They'd also acquired glasses for Harry that, while not his prescription, helped him somewhat.

The man-dog figured out the direction the deer had gone and hurried after it, while Harry, wand-in-hand, ran after him. It wasn't long until the black dog caught up with the resting deer, who prepared to bolt, only to be struck by a well-aimed stunning spell from the Boy-Who-Lived's wand. The dog quickly turned into a man. "You're getting quicker with that," he commented.

"Thanks," Harry replied, grinning. "Hunger is a real motivator."

"I guess we'd better prepare it, before the deer wakes up."

Two deer steaks were on a fire, with the rest under a stasis spell, when a strange man Harry recognized (after squinting a bit) walked into their campsite. He was wearing sky blue Wizarding robes, along with a necklace that had a strange symbol on it. He was carrying a standard school trunk. "Hello, Harry," he called out. "It's good to see you again. Sirius Black, it's nice to meet you. I'm Xenophilius Lovegood."

"How did you find us?" asked Harry, looking concerned. Sirius was reaching for his wand.

"Where else would you be?" he asked, sounding like it was the most obvious place for them to be. "I only waited this long because Luna would've insisted on coming along, and I'm not sure how I feel about her attraction to you."

"A-a-attraction to me?" asked Harry, now even more nervous.

Sirius laughed, "That's my godson!"

"Anyway, she took your trunk home after you left the Hogwarts Express, figuring you wouldn't want the Ministry to have it, so here it is. She fixed your old glasses, so they're in there as well. She made me promise not to look through it."

"Thanks. These glasses aren't as good. Just set it down there," replied Harry, genuinely grateful.

"I'd like to start our interview," stated Xeno, sitting on the grass.

"What…" Harry started to say.

"Sirius Black, how difficult is it for an insane murderer, such as yourself, to stop himself from killing Harry in his sleep?"

"I don't want to kill Harry!" shouted Sirius, looking upset.

"Obviously, your fear of the Hulk has helped you overcome the urge to finish the job you started with his family."

"I DID NOT BETRAY THE POTTERS!"

At this pronouncement, Xeno looked deeply into Sirius' eyes. "You're telling the truth. I can tell. I guess Doris Purkiss was right then. You are Stubby Boardman. To think, I was going to put off interviewing her. Tell me, Stubby, are you still in love with her?"

"Who? What?" asked Sirius, looking confused.

Xeno shook his head sadly. "That's what the Dementors will do to you, long term. You won't remember your loved ones, or even your own name."

"I'm not Stubby Boardman!" Padfoot declared.

"Of course not, Mr. Boardman," Xeno replied, winking.

"Mr. Lovegood," interrupted Harry. "He really is Sirius Black."

"That's only what he believes. He's forgotten himself. Anyway, there's no point in asking him anymore questions. So, how do you enjoy having so much power, Harry?"

"I think there's a lot of reason to talk to Sirius. He's got important things to say that he'd love to have printed in the Quibbler."

"My dear boy, I have nothing but pity for Mr. Boardman, but I have my paper's reputation to think of. I can't just print interviews from people who've lost their minds or memories. I only use credible sources with verifiable facts." Sirius started laughing at that statement. "Poor fellow. I hope he recovers. Anyway, Harry, about your power?"

"I don't like turning into the Hulk. I don't want to."

"I understand. A lot of times we do things we wouldn't normally want to do," Xeno agreed. "Desperation will push a man…"

"I'm not desperate to change!" Harry yelled, his face turning red. "I can't control it!"

"Then you wanted to stay in Azkaban, but were forced out by the Hulk?"

"No, I didn't like that, but that doesn't mean…"

"The Malfoy boy cursed you, so the Hulk hit him. You were locked up, so the Hulk escaped. It sounds like it's doing your bidding to me."

"Shut up! I AM NOT…"

"Harry!" shouted Sirius, while glaring at Xeno. "Control your temper!"

Taking a deep breath to calm down, Harry glared at Xeno.

"Mr. Lovegood, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

"So, are you saying anger helps you transform."

"Interview over!" shouted Sirius, grabbing Harry's arm, along with his trunk, and apparating away.

After sighing sadly, Xeno said to no one, "Oh well. I guess I'll get more answers next interview. Maybe by then Stubby will remember his name. I'll have to floo Doris to set up an interview." He then pulled out his wand and levitated the two steaks that were now finished onto a plate they'd left behind. "It would be a pity to waste this."

-HULK-

At the same time, in a different country, a runaway rat had just found his real master and explained the situation to him. "Wormtail, we must leave at once for England. We must find Harry. I need his blood."

-HULK-

Author's Note: I really don't understand why almost everyone has forgotten that in Half-Blood Prince, Dumbledore told Harry that the Trace was a myth created by the Ministry. I understand why people like Hermione and Ron believed it in Deathly Hallows, since the Ministry wanted underage people to believe it. Dumbledore told Harry that the Ministry only tracks locations, like 4 Privet Drive – places where there is a magical minor but no magical adults (which usually is muggle-borns). That's why Dobby could get Harry in trouble in Chamber of Secrets, and why the Order didn't use magic like apparition to get Harry out of his house in Deathly Hallows. Any magic performed there would've been attributed to Harry. The worst part is that Harry himself didn't seem to remember this fact in the seventh book.