CHAPTER 6 THE TRIALS OF CANDY MAN
With a WOOSH the dimensional portal opened and
Amanda gasped she was in the mirror dimension
"So this is
where Candyman lives" she said "YES!" Candyman said
and said "NOW BEGIN THE TRIALS"and he disappeared.
THE FIRST TRIAL
"AMANDA!" Candyman said "THE FIRST TRIAL IS BEGINNING YOU HAVE TO PASS THIS TEST TO PROVE TO ME THAT YOU TRULY DESIRE THE SKELETON KEY"
Amanda blacked out and when she woke up she was back at the Rave.
"Mmmm, you
feel so good inside me" Jenny said as Brad lifted and seperated
her sweaty legs and smashed his pelvis into hers.
"I really
like the way your resistence gets me hard" Brad complimented
Jenny as she unclasped her bra and swung it over her head.
It
landed on the shoulder of a man standing behind her! A black man with
a hook hand!
Jenny started to go down on Brad and as she slurped
she heard a whistling noise and then SHUNK! Brad's blood poured down
on her head in torrents. She screamed and looked up just in time to
see Candyman's hand clasp around her temples and squeeze them
together so that her brains squished through his grimy fingers. Her
body quivered and she let out a huge fart as her bowels loosened
before Candyman threw her down on top of Brad's headless
corpse.
"NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!" Amanda screamed.
"What are you doing we're fucking let's get back to fucking please I want to fuck you" her boyfriend said "NO WE HAVE TO STOP THE MASSACRE THAT IS GOING ON." and she ran out of the tent.
She
caught up to Candyman just as he was eviscerating Micky the
nerd.
"Candyman!" she screamed "What is your trial
I desire the Skeleton Key enough of these games! I won't let you kill
these people again they've already been killed by Jason and Freddy
lay off won't ya" and Candyman smiled.
"Amanda! he smiled "you passed the first test! If you failed you would have just stayed back and made love to your boyfriend like in real life but instead you confronted me, that's good it shows you have COURAGE."
So saying a light appeared in the Skeleton Key in his hand.
NOW BEGINS THE SECOND TRIAL
Amanda found
herself in a plain white room and there was a box in the middle
so
what did she do but she went and started fiddling around with it
then the box began to go WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR and different parts of
it raised up and locked into place.
"OH NO IT'S THE BOX FROM HELLRAISER!" Amanda said but she was too late and Pinhead was there. "Amanda" Pinhead said "I HAVE SUCH PAIN TO SHOW YOU!"
and then a bunch of chains rocketed out of the ground and stabbed Amanda's flesh and Pinhead walked slowly around her as she was suspended in midair "WHAT FLESH YOU HAVE AND I WILL INFLICT PAIN ON IT OR SHOULD I SAY PLEASURE" Pinhead leered at Amanda, hid beady black eyes glistening in the blue toned hell they now inhabited.
"What is this, Candyman" she
thought to herself "some kind of trick?"
"I DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR YOUR KINKY SHIT" she yelled at Pyramid Head and
then she kicked him in the balls, which made all the chains go away.
"YES! THAT IS THE PLEASURE I WANT!" screamed Pinhead in
ecstasy "HURT ME MORE!" and Amanda slapped him across the
face then pulled him by the ear and shoved him into the gaping maw of
hell, then she went and kicked the box in after him. She heard
Candyman clapping behind her.
"YOU HAVE PASSED THE SECOND TRIAL AMANDA" Candyman said smiling, "You have shown me that you possess POWER." and a second light on the skeleton key lit up. "Now the third trial"
THE THIRD TRIAL COMMENCES
Amanda found herself standing alone with Candyman "What is the third trial" she asked
"The third trial is" he said "you have to answer this question: what is it that I want the most? Me, Candyman, give me what I want the most."
Amanda was stumped how the fuck was she supposed
to know what he wanted
She looked at him, his big black broad
shoulders, his handsomely chiseled face his big hook and she thought
about it.
"TIME IS RUNNING OUT MY DEAR AND IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF I HAD TO -PENETRATE- YOU." he said with a wink as he raised his hook hand
then she remembered what every black man wants the most
She slid up to him and started sucking gently
on his ear. "Yeah baby" Candyman said "That's it."
She took off his coat and pants and he cut hers off with his hook
hand and then he ground into her so hard that she felt like a hammer
was pounding her pants "OW she said" "SHUT UP AND TAKE
IT WHITE WOMAN" he growled at her and bit her tongue so that it
bled.As they lay there in the sweaty afterglow he said "How
did you know? My origins are that I was eaten by bees because I had
sex with a white woman, so I love white women, that's what I want the
most." Amanda blushed and didn't say anything.
"Well
whatever" Candyman said "You passed the third test and
proved to me that you have WISDOM." the third and final light on
the key shone and he passed it to her.
"Use it well fair Amanda" Candyman said and opened the portal to the real world.
"SO! THAT'S THE WAY OUT, EH!" IT WAS FREDDY KREUGER AND JASON VORHEES
"Amanda" Candyman said "go on get out of here, don't worry about me I'll show them they're messing with the wrong guy here! JUST GO!" and Amanda escaped through the portal.
Candyman glared at the two monsters "I don't know who you are, but this is MY WORLD!"
Freddy
sneared and raised up his gloved hand "Welcome to MY WORLD,
bitch!"
Jason leveled his machete at Candyman.
THEN A BATTLE BROKE OUT
Freddy screamed and ran up to Candyman who teleported behind him and impaled him with his hook hand. Freddy wagged his finger at Candyman and turned into a liquid mass that reformed as a fully healed Freddy "WAAAAAH AHAHAHHAHAHA!" Freddy snickered.
"What sort of devil are you!"
Candyman said and then opened his mouth so that a bunch of bees shot
out.
"GO, MY BULLET BEES!" he screamed and the bees
embedded themselves into Jason and Freddy. Jason having dealt with
bees before was unfazed, but Freddy was caught up in bees. Jason ran
for Candyman and swiped at his head, but Candyman ducked and did a
leg sweep that floored Jason, who flipped back up with a roundhouse
that caught Candyman on the jaw and sent him flying. Freddy looking
on mused "NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A JAWBREAKER! AAAAAAH
HAHAHAHAHAHHA!"
Candyman snapped his fingers and the ground
beneath Jason turned into a pit of honey, but meanwhile Freddy got
away from the bees and he ran up and slashed at Candyman who
deflected his hand with his hook hand. The two parried and thrusted
like Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny, it was an epic battle to never be
forgotten.
Candyman landed a blow by smacking Freddy right in his
ugly mug, and it looked like Candyman had gotten the upper
hand.
Suddenly Jason rocketed out of the pit of honey and landed right on top of Candyman, covering him in honey. Candyman shook off Jason but Freddy saw his chance, he turned into a swarm of bees, each one had Freddy's face, and they landed on Candyman and started eating him "OH DRAT NOT AGAIN!" was what Candyman's eyes said but his mouth said nothing because it was filled with honey and bees. Jason looked on confused as the bees disperesed, because Candyman was nowhere to be found. The bees swarmed together and reformed as Freddy. "BURP!" Freddy said, "I HOPE I DON'T GET CAVITIES! AHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH!
I LOVE CANDY!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
GLAD YOU COULD INDULGE MY SWEET TOOTH! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
THE CANDYMAN CAN!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" and then he grew greatly in power, because now he'd eaten Candyman and gotten his power.
"Well at least the trip here wasn't a total waste" he said to himself then turned to Jason. "Listen Jason I don't see any need for us to fight any more but let's have a friendly competition." he said "out in the real world that girl we saw is in the house we're going to go to so let's see who can kill her first and whoever kills her first has to wear a dress for a week." Freddy and Jason shook on it and followed Amanda into the terribly real world so terribly real for her!
