Hello everyone new and old! Sorry this got out reaaaallllly late but I'm getting swamped at school and life (blah blah) so I gave you guys a smallish one. I can't guarantee a timetable on the next chapter but this fic is coming to a close soon!

Drop a review and tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: Any recognizable themes or characters belong to their rightful owners.

Okay, here we go!

"The End Days"

Chapter 7: "Head First"

"Ian knows there are words that can warm the numb"

-;- -;-

Ian didn't handle his own mess like he told Mandy he would. He kept to himself in bed, not eating with the Gallagher brood but waiting until everyone was asleep so he can sneak leftovers. His behavior isn't lost on Fiona and Lip, they try to get him out, up and talking but Ian is a steel trap now, locked up, with one certain someone holding the key.

-;-

It's Saturday and Ian is festering in bed for the seventh day straight when Lip walks in yawning a little too loudly and plopping down Ian's legs.

"What the fuck, Lip?" Ian groaned.

"Dude, do we need to put you on suicide watch? This is turning into bullshit." Lip responded, rising off of Ian.

"What do you know? Just leave me alone."

"Ian, you're my little, big brother; I don't like seeing you torn up over somebody like Mickey. He did it, he got married a week ago, when are you going to get over it and him? Huh?" Lip looked Ian right in the eyes as he spoke. Ian knows he's right, he shouldn't mope, but it hurts so much.

"I'll get up...eventually."

"Eventually, Ian?" Lip raises a brow.

"Yes, today I will get up."

"Today?" Lip says in a teasing voice, Ian couldn't help but chuckle at his older brother's antics.

Ian sits up in bed and throws the comforter off of him, "I'm up, I'm up."

Lip just smirks in his success and walks with Ian downstairs to eat breakfast.

"Well hey, Ian. Nice to see you up and at 'em," says Fiona as she flips the last pancake on a plate for Carl. Ian knows Fiona is trying to compensate for her being in the dark about Ian's personal life by not treating him like a mental case. He appreciates it but he hates himself for making her worry.

"Yeah, I'm better," Ian responded, the quick look between Lip and Fiona wasn't gone unnoticed by him.

-;-

Ian turns on his phone for the first time in his seven-day funk and sees a lot of encouraging messages from Mandy and a few from Casper asking 'what he was up to'. He will reply to Mandy soon but he is thinking about what to do with Casper. Ian feels used by Mickey in a way and he doesn't want Casper to feel that either because Ian's pretty sure the rich kid wants a relationship but he only wants to fuck.

Ian continues to let his mind race in the shower and naturally he thinks about Mickey; he chuckles because the last time he allowed himself to think about Mickey in here, after he beat him up, go figure, he jerked off to thoughts about him. He wants, needs a romantic relationship with Mickey but all he gets is guilty jerk-off sessions but he can't deny his body its needs.

He begins to stroke himself, slowly speeding up with the pace of Mickey's mouth taking him in but he loses his erection quickly when his imaginary Mickey had his wedding ring.

"Shit," Ian whispered.

Ian almost jumped and busted his ass in the shower when he heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Ian, hey man, get out the shower and come outside," Lip's muffled voice sounded through the shower. Lip's footsteps walk away from the door and Ian sighs aloud.

He knows it Mandy. She's probably pissed he had his phone off for so long. He dries himself and throws on sweatpants and a grey long sleeve thermal and heads out through the kitchen door, barefoot and all. He steps outside and sees Lip standing in front of the steps smoking, they meet eyes and Lip nods his head to the side of the house where Ian can't see. He raises a brow and heads in that direction, Lip going back into the house.

Ian gets a little nervous about why Mandy was being secretive like this; did Fiona ban her from the house? Are her and Lip on a break? Did something happen to…him? He rounds the corner and audibly gasps, he was wrong. It wasn't Mandy standing there, it was Mickey.

Mickey looked like he aged a year since the wedding. His hair was a little longer, more to grab, and his facial hair is a little thicker. Ian thinks he looks damn sexy but he can't dwell on that now. Mickey actually came to him. He also looks expectant, like he prepared something to say.

"Hey, Gallagher," Mickey said, finally. His voice is small but on the surface you wouldn't guess he was that nervous.

Ian spoke, guarding his voice, "Hi."

They stared at each for another minute and the wind picked up, Ian's feet are freezing. He looks up at the grey clouds and it eerily reminded him when he was on the ground after Mickey had hit him. Mickey cleared his throat, regaining Ian's attention.

"So, I'm a shit," Mickey offered. This is him apologizing; Ian wants more, he almost says more but remains silent to let Mickey find his words, "You don't have to fuck with me if you don't want to anymore." He then kicks at a rock that was in front of him, making sure not to make eye contact with Ian.

Ian is a little stunned but then a little angry; Mickey placed the ball in his court again, Ian has to make the decision as to whether they continue with whatever this is. He is tired of making the decisions, Mickey is once again copping out on having to fight for what they have.

Ian shifts on his cold feet, "Forget about what I want. You tell me if you want to keep fucking around."

Mickey had the nerve to slightly wince when Ian said "fucking around."

Mickey speaks on it, "Why do you have to say it like that?"

Ian snort humorlessly, "Is that not what you just said; actually no, isn't this what this is? Fucking around?"

"You know that isn't what I fucking mean," Mickey gripes, shaking his head.

"So what do you mean?"

"You know- shit! You know what I'm trying to say, don't make it hard," Mickey is becoming flustered, his face is turning red and Ian can't decipher if it is from anger or embarrassment.

Ian swears under his breath and walks up into Mickey's face, unmoving, "You know what? I do know what you mean but you're going to fucking say it."

Mickey eyebrows raises almost comically at Ian, "I um…"

"Fucking say it, Mickey, what do you want? Or I'm walking away." Ian stares down at him, making Mickey squirm a little from the intense gaze.

They stare at each other and Mickey breaks first, looking down and rubbing his top lip. Ian feels a lump forming in the back of his throat. Mickey won't say it. Ian's eyes water and he has to turn away. Fuck him, Ian starts to walk and he hears Mickey exhale heavily behind him, Ian ignores it and starts to round to the back of the house.

"Gallagher…" Mickey weakly says, Ian wants to stop but he keeps walking.

"Ian!" Mickey shouts this time.

Ian freezes at the sound of Mickey saying his given name; it's been so long since he did.

"Ian." Mickey chokes one more time. Ian is undone and goes on autopilot when he turns on his numbing heel and walk back around the house to where Mickey still stood in the same spot, eyes glazed over with tears.

Ian walks up to Mickey again and forces him to make eye contact, "What?"

Mickey exhales another shaky breath and looks at Ian once more, this time with a resolve fixed on his face that Ian has never seen before.

"I want you to accept the fact that I'm going to be married for a while; I want you to know that it doesn't mean shit," Mickey starts, Ian keeps quiet, his mouth slightly hanging open in awe.

Mickey continues, "I want to…see you still, I wanna fucking have something with you because um…" Ian's heart begins to pick up speed.

"…because I love you," Mickey finishes. He looks away from Ian now and takes two steps back.

Ian blinks three times in a row, digesting what just happened.

Mickey says he loves me.

He said it.

Love.

Mickey makes eye contact once more, looking expectant. Ian has to act now.

"Come here," Ian says although he walks up to Mickey, he grabs his bearded face and tilts it up and kisses him softly. They don't move, just a touch of lips and Ian feels Mickey's hands come up and caress the back of his neck the cold metal of his wedding band making Ian shiver. They break apart from the kiss and slowly open their eyes, breathing.

Ian whispers, "I love you, too."

-;- -;-