Chapter Five: Music Starts Playing Like The End of a Sad Movie.

Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie,
It's the kind of ending you don't ready want to see.
Cause it's tragedy and it will only bring you down,
now I don't know what to be without you around.

- Breathe by Taylor Swift.

Her mouth opens numerous times to utter some sort of response, but each time she comes up dry. Her mind is racing with a thousand different thoughts, all telling her something different and all pushing to be released. Again, Quinn can't speak though. All she can manage is staring numbly and blankly at the woman sitting in front of her. After several minutes of that, she glances to the man sitting on her side, who has also yet to say anything. She supposes that this isn't the best reaction from them.

But part of her feels angry. Angry at the world, angry at Finn and Rachel, and angry at both the man and woman in this room. She wants to ridicule them, she longs to bitch and yearns to scream in frustration at every single person she knows. She feels isolated and alone, without knowledge of how to stop that feeling. She doesn't know if she'll ever be able to and it scares her more than death itself.

"I know this is a lot to take in," Quinn jumps at the sound of the voice, returning to reality quickly. "But this is what Rachel and Finn wanted. If you are very certain that you do not want to do this, it can be arranged that the grandparents take over. When I spoke with them, they expressed strong wishes of doing just that." She has a tone of business, but there is a touch of warmth and empathy that Quinn welcomes. She can't be much older than Quinn, with dark brown hair, a short upturned nose and crooked teeth that she would have gotten rid of years ago. She speaks again, and Quinn wills herself to look anywhere but at the womans teeth, "That said, you two are perfect candidates given your steady jobs, age and strong relationship with Brooke."

"It—it's just a lot to take in." Sam speaks first, his voice strangely hoarse. He's not about to cry, but his voice has a strange tone to it. Quinn looks at him and then back down at her hands. He said all she has to say: it's a lot to take in. He clears his throat and starts apprehensively, "B—but I would I like custody of Brooke. I'm confident that it's the best option for her, as she won't have to be uprooted hugely and…" He trails off, eyes going to the floor. After a few minutes of them waiting on him, he shakes his head, "I'm sorry. I can't talk about this right now."

"Quite understandable. Alright, well I will leave these forms for you and I'll give you both a call shortly to discuss this further. It would be best in Brooke's interest to finalise this as soon as possible."

Quinn only nods, shaking the woman's hand and offering her the best smile she could. It isn't much. She and Sam stand, barely acknowledging each other as they exit the room. Quinn is so wrapped up in her own thoughts that Sam's presence doesn't even affect her; the silence between them doesn't rebound on her. She welcomes it. Silence has evaded her lately, mostly because she avoids it. (Avoids it to avoid thinking. Distractions are noisy and numbing.)

It's been three weeks. Yet, things don't feel easier. They feel different – she definitely feels different – but not easier. The only place she's been is work and home. She hasn't spoken to any of her friends, though some tried, and she certainly hasn't sought anyone out. It's better this way.

"Um, I guess we should talk about this." Quinn realises with a start that they're in the parking lot, and Sam is standing in front of her with his hands in his pockets. His eyes are unfocused, looking into the distance, but it isn't long before he redirects his those blues to her. "You haven't said anything."

She's surprised to note he's correct. Quinn hasn't spoken a word since she found out, and furthermore, she didn't even notice. Perhaps being alone is affecting her more than she originally thought. (There seems to be some sort of cheap victory in that.) "I—I guess not."

He lets out a frustrated sigh, "Quinn, I need you to talk to me about this. I want to take Brooke, but I don't think I can without you."

She nods, but doesn't say anything. Quinn can see he's getting visibly pent up by her lack of response, but she just feels so empty. She never knows what to do, what to say or what she wants anymore because all of her conflicting desires. She want's to be loved, but doesn't want to get close; she wants to talk, but doesn't want anyone to see; she wants happiness, but doesn't want the risk of getting hurt again. She wants Brooke, but she doesn't know if she can handle it. Her voice just above a whisper, Quinn finally addresses the point, "I don't know if I can do it, Sam. She—she's so like … like them. I'm a mess."

His eyes soften. She knows he understands, but can't bring herself to ask him how he's doing for fear of the question being returned. "We're all a mess. But you and me, Brooke needs us. She loves us and we have to pull through for her."

"How can you be so strong?" It slips out before she can even stop it, and she's genuinely interested in the reply. She wants to be that.

"I'm not. I'd do anything to be as strong as you are." He replies, but the words are said quickly. He doesn't want to talk about it either. Before she can utter how ridiculous that is, he hurries on, "Are we going to do this?"

"Do we have much of a choice?"

He grins half-heartedly (it's empty, hallow and lacking the warmth he usually exudes), "Not if we would like to remain unhaunted."

She returns the false smile and nods, "I'll see you soon then." He does the same gesture, and they get into their respective cars before driving away. She doesn't quite understand what she and Sam are doing, how they're acting. Eventually, their past is going to catch up on them.

Eventually, they'll have to worry about living arrangements and when each of them has to collect Brooke and such. Her job can be flexible at times, she supposes.

Quinn is in a bit of a daze at the moment. She can't really grasp what's going on, and definitely not what she just agreed to, and at the same time she can't escape all that's going on. The walls are closing in on her, but it's time to start pushing them back. Squaring her shoulders, Quinn enters her apartment.

This is Quinn Fabray, she takes nothing lying down. She can feel the HBIC coming back, but it's not something she relishes, nor is it what she wants. There's an anger heating in her bones, a frustration that is clawing its way through her body and an utter fury at the world. What in the world did Finn and Rachel deserve for this? Yes, Quinn has done some fucking awful stuff in her life, but what in gods name did Finn and Rachel do? They don't intentionally hurt anyone, Rachel's an avid Jew, Finn helps children at orphanages and their child is an angel. How could someone decide their fate was to leave early? It's not fair. It's not fair.

"It's just not fair!" Quinn screams, and then pulls the mirror off of her hallway wall and throws it against the wall across the way. It shatters into pieces, the shards of glass soaring threw the air and landing all across the corridor. Her chest heaves as she falls back against the wall, a little of the insatiable anger leaving her. But it's not enough. (It will never be enough, but she's not ready to deal with that.)

There's a warm substance trickling down her arm, and Quinn wipes it carelessly. It takes a moment to notice that there's blood all over her left arm, and a rather large gash on her leg.

(She's ashamed when she realises it made her feel better; made her feel in control, and slightly liberated from the emotion of fury.)

Sorry it's such a short chapter folks, but I'll try and update quickly as compensation! I'm usually one for rather long chapters, so I'm irritated with the lack of length in the chapters of this story. No worries, I'll start to write more each chapter or update quicker. On that note, I'm terribly sorry for the long delay in updates. I went into college and lost interest in the story, especially since Sam left the show. The small Quam moments on the show now though reignited my feeling for this story, as well as reviews. Thanks so much for those :) This is going to be a bumpy ride by all means, but I hope it's at least a good read!

Thanks for reading, and reviews are like Sam and Quinn working together in the christmas episode :D
CN