I can't even lie to you guys, this hurt to write. I really hope you like it, enjoy isn't the right word for this. I was fine with everything in this story up to this point, but this ending it just... hurt... I'm actually on the verge of tears writing this. Enough of that, without further ado, I give the end of Those Eyes.
Twiin-Vii2iion2
...
I came to when the paramedics showed up. In a daze I held onto KK tighter before Aradia walked in and told me it was okay. At her urging, I let him go and they put him on a stretcher and carried him out. Another paramedic stayed with me to check my vitals and what not. When I checked out they let me get up and helped my down the stairs.
Much to my dismay, they wouldn't let me go with KK. Aradia ended up driving me to the hospital after they'd patched me up and cleared me. The police followed us there and sat with us in the lobby.
"I know this may be hard to answer" one of the officers said. "But we have to ask you what happened."
I nodded and then started the story from the day before at the movie theater. How the bastard showed up at my apartment this morning and attacked KK. How he... how he raped KK on my sofa. How we fought. How I knocked him over the railing on the fire escape and he fell.
"Well..." The other officer said, looking up from his notes he'd been taking. "It sounds like a clean case. We'll be in contact."
The two officers stood and left, thanking us for our time, and I was left to wait for news of Karkat. Aradia never left my side.
After almost a half hour of silence I finally spoke.
"I thouldn't have opened the door..." I said.
"Sollux, you couldn't have known." Aradia said, trying to comfort me.
"If I hadn't opened the door, he wouldn't have gotten in and KK would be fine." I rambled.
"Sollux..."
"Thith ith all my fault... I couldn't protect him."
"Sollux! Shut the fuck up!" Aradia yelled. I was stunned into silence. "Look, I'm sorry to yell but this isn't your fault." She added hurriedly. "You saved him from that monster. You saved him."
"Then why do I feel tho thitty?" I asked, tears streaming down my face as I looked down at my upturned palms.
Aradia didn't have an answer for that, she just put her arms around me and I cried into her shoulder. I cried until I fell asleep.
…...
I waited day in and day out in that lobby, barely eating what Aradia brought me. I slept in the lobby for the first two nights until they made me leave. I ended up staying at Aradia's place, unable to face my apartment yet.
On the fifth day, a doctor came into the lobby around 6 PM.
"Are you Sollux, the one with Karkat?" I look up and nod, dreading her every word. "He's made enough of a recovery that he can have visitors, but he seems to have suffered some memory loss." She spoke quickly and the words hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Memory loss?" I said dumbly.
"He doesn't remember the... event... at all" She said, choosing her words carefully. "He also has no recollection of the few weeks leading up to it."
I just stared dumbfounded. The last few weeks meant... No... No it couldn't... How could he forget me?
"Listen, I know you'll want to see him but I have to strongly suggest that you don't bring up the incident. If you do, he may have a relapse and we don't know what that could do to him." The doctor said, sitting down on the other side of me. "We believe he may have repressed the memories as a way of coping with what happened. If he's going to remember, it needs to be a slow process. I wouldn't even bring him back to the apartment for a while. Is there somewhere else you can stay?"
Before I could even turn to ask Aradia had already piped up.
"They can stay with me."
I looked down, I reached over and gave her hand a squeeze as a thanks.
"Can I thee him now?" I asked, my voice hoarse from lack of use. The doctor nodded and stood to lead me to his room. I stood in front of the door and took a deep breath. The doctor nodded at me and then opened the door. As I stepped inside, I saw him laying in the bed. I couldn't get to the bedside fast enough.
He merely looked up at me, clearly not enough energy to speak. He gave me a look of confusion, not one that he didn't know who I was, but more like he didn't know what I was doing there.
"Karkat?" I said tentatively
"How... Do you know my name?" He asked, his voice hoarse and tiny. I broke. I couldn't take it. Tears filled my eyes and I just turned and ran. I was back out at the lobby, a collapsed, sobbing mess. I rolled in on myself, wanting to be as small as possible. He didn't know me. He didn't remember anything. I was alone again. I'd lost the person I'd grown to love.
Somewhere in my self pity and depression, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see Aradia, her face sad.
"Sollux... I spoke to him a bit, explained a little, but you need to go talk to him. Regardless of whether or not he remembers you, he needs you." I slowly took her hand and she helped me up. I shuffled back to the room, my eyes dried, but red. I walked into the room and to the bedside again. Karkat looked up at me.
"Hey... Sollux? I'm sorry I don't remember." He apologized.
"It isn't your fault." I said, sitting down.
"So... I knew you from the bar. You were the guy who was always staring at me." He said, his eyes scanning my face for some sign. I let out a small, single laugh.
"Yeah, I was staring wasn't I." He smiled, happy that he had remembered something.
"So what happened?" He asked. "I don't remember anything after I confronted you."
I sighed. "Well... we thort of hit it off from there... then one night you told me of your boyfriend. The next day you left him and then thtayed with me. A few dayth later you had... an accident." I lied about the last part. I couldn't risk telling him yet.
He kept examining me, trying to see if I was lying. He must have decided I wasn't because he physically relaxed.
"Well... I'm tired..." he said and I nodded, standing to leave. "Hey wait. Could you maybe stay here? I mean, in case my ex shows up... He's kinda hot headed..."
I looked at the doctor who nodded.
"Thure." I said, sitting down again.
And so started my regular vigils over Karkat's bed while he slept, which he did a lot of. When he was awake we would talk, get to know each other all over again. After a few more days, they let me take him home to Aradia's.
…...
Over the next few weeks the cops came by to ask some questions, wrapping up their investigation. We ended up in court just to verify that it was self defense. There was no case so I received no punishment and could get back to taking care of Karkat.
I had to take a second job outside of coding to pay for the medical bills and other such stuff. We ended up staying at Aradia's the entire time. Karkat wasn't ready to go back to the apartment. We were staying in two seperate rooms, we'd become close but it was clear that Karkat didn't want to take that next step until he remembered his lost time.
It was months after the incident when Shit really hit the fan...
…...
I walked into the house, relocking the door behind me and tossing the key Aradia had made for me on the table next to the door.
"KK, I'm home." I called, expecting him to come down, He had been a little more eager to talk recently. I went into the kitchen to get a snack and it wasn't until I had prepared the snack that I realized KK had never come down.
Trying to push the panic down I looked through the first floor and couldn't find him. I went to the stairs.
"KK?" I called again, heading up. I went to his room and knocked on his door. "KK you in there?" I asked. No answer. I opened the door slowly and found an empty room. My heart nearly stopped in my chest and I tore into the room, looking everywhere as if he might suddenly appear. I found nothing of course. I started to tear through the second floor calling out his name. He was no where to be found.
I grabbed my phone and quickly called Aradia.
"Come on... anthwer dammit..."
"Hello? Sollux?"
"Aradia! Thit... it'th KK... I Can't find him..." There was silence on the other end for a second.
"You can't find him?"
"I came home from work and he wasn't here. I can't..." I stopped midsentence, staring at the note on the front door that I had missed. It was on the inside.
It read:
"Sollux,
I went to see your apartment. I want to see if I can remember.
Karkat."
"He went to the apartment." I said in disbelief. There was a pause.
"Are you sure?" I could the panic in her voice.
"He left a note." I said, immediately grabbing my keys. "I'm going after him."
"Hurry Sollux... I get off in ten minutes, I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Yeah." I said and hung up, running out the door and off in the direction of my apartment. This was not good. What if he did remember. What if he had a break down. This was not good.
I got to the apartment faster than I ever thought possible. I tore through the front door and ran up the stairs two at a time. I reached my apartment and the door was open.
"Karkat!?" I yelled, rushing. "KK where are you?"
I heard a small sound from the bathroom and practically sprinted over to the door. It was locked.
"KK open the fucking door!" I yelled, panicked. I heard a small whimper and stood back from the door and kicked it in. I ran in and saw far too much blood surrounding a small shape in the tub. "Fuck." I whipped out my phone and called 911.
"911 operator, what is your emergency?"
"I need an ambulance sent to my apartment! My friend is hurt. I need help."
"Calm down sir, what is your address."
I told her my address and she told me that help was on the way. I ran to Karkat's side and grabbed his wrist, applying pressure, trying to stop the blood from flowing.
"God, no you fucking idiot. Don't you fucking die on me you thithead. Don't you fucking dare." I leaned over him and kissed his forehead, tears flowing. And I stayed there until the paramedics arrived to take him to the hospital.
…...
After hours of working and blood transfusions, the doctors managed to stabalize but he wasn't able to have visitors for another day. As soon as they would let me in, I visited him.
As I walked in he was laying on his side, facing the wall.
"KK..." I said tentatively, walking up to him. "You okay?"
"I remember."
"KK..."
"He... he... I..." He started to shake and I reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. As soon as I had touched him he jumped, pulling away from me and spinning around. When he saw it was just me he relaxed but still wouldn't let me touch him. An aching pain shot through my chest.
"It ithn't your fault. The athhole wath a monthter and he got what he detherved." I said sternly. Karkat merely looked at me.
"He raped me..." He said. "He... made me worthless..."
"KK... You aren't worthless..."
'Yes I am... I wanted to die..."
"KK..."
"WHY WOULDN"T YOU LET ME DIE!? NO ONE"S GONNA WANT ME EVER!"
"BECAUSE YOU MATTER TO ME!" I screamed, rage and sadness wracking me. "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I CAN"T LOSE YOU! BECAUSE I WANT YOU! BECAUSE I NEED YOU!" I collapsed into the chair and put my head in my hands. "Why doesn't that matter to you?"
There was silence for a while.
"Sollux I didn't think.."
"WHAT?! DIDN"T THINK OF ME?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I COULDN"T TAKE IT?! EVER SINCE I WALKED INTO YOUR ROOM AFTER THE INCIDENT AND YOU DIDN"T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I WAS!" I knew I shouldn't be yelling at him but I couldn't stop. "KARKAT I LO... I love you..." I whispered.
Karkat just sat on his bed for a while. He finally got up and walked over to me.
"Do you really?" He asked, his voice small, frightened.
"With everything I can love you with..." I said, my heart breaking at the fact that I had scared him. He studied my face, then did something I hadn't expected. He threw his arms around me and burried his face in my shoulder. I felt his body shake as he wept into my shoulder and apologized over and over. I just stroked his hair.
"I forgive you." I said but he just kept apologizing until he couldn't stay awake anymore. I laid him back on his bed and sat by him all night.
…...
Karkat's recovery was slow and never complete after that. He grew to let me touch him, but no one else could except Aradia. He would freak if anyone touch him other than her or me. It cost him a few jobs and I was constantly working to pay off the medical bills and other bills.
We moved in permanently with Aradia, paying rent even. Neither of us could bear to stay in that apartment ever again. I moved all my stuff out and left the furniture. I couldn't bring any of it with me except for the bed.
KK eventually moved into the same room as me, but our nights are often interrupted by his nightmares and night terrors that I have to calm him down out of.
It has put a strain on us, but I need him and he needs me. We've managed to make this existence some semblance of happy together. But it will never be the same. Never again.