Hi, sorry for the kinda late update. I just got back from the holidays. Oh and thanks for all those reviews, I can't believe I reached 122 already:D okay, here's chapter 10! But believe me, it will not be the last chapter.
PS: I'm sorry to write this to Ghiminaruho. But I thought you said that you will update 'When Love Finds It's Ways' on December 10? I waited until December 11 (I'm up all morning) for the update but you still didn't update until now, 30 December, 2006 (The day I'm writing this chapter). And you hurt me a lot, because I've been waiting like crazy here:(
Oh well. Here goes chapter 10;
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Natsume stepped out of his car.. Tsubasa noticed him
"Ready, Hyuuga?" He asks
But Tsubasa never waited for Natsume to answer. Instead, he quickly attacks him as soon as Natsume stepped out of the car and closed the door, making Natsume fall backwards. And he didn't stop there. When Natsume stands up again, Tsubasa punched and punched, he slapped and kicked, as he shouted, his screaming broke the night away. He keep punching and slapping, and kick, without any target at all. He just plainly attacked Natsume. He curses, loud and clear. And Natsume, having no plans to attack him back, fall back wards once more. His eyes and cheeks are swollen, with bruises and scratches on his hands and legs. His mouth was bleeding, and as he got dizzy, forcing him to close his eyes.
But within the darkness, his past became crystal clear. He could remember it all, the small village where he used to live. It contains many memories, including his first love… the girl that he killed. Sends to the heavens! Until now, Anna's family still blames him for the reason their only daughter was killed. Her mom even called him a murderer, and warns every mother not to let their daughter to get close to him. While the truth is, at that time, when Natsume heard the news that Anna was in a coma, he prayed and begged to god to let him and Anna switch places. He felt quilt, especially when in the end, Anna dies, never regaining consciousness. It really seems that wrong really loves his company. Stabbing him when he was awake, and night mares him when he was asleep.
Like that is not enough, it seems like everybody is racing to break him down. The village was small, no doubt, and news spread fasts. But to end or to make them forget it, it seems like it will never, ever happened. Doors and windows are banged as people saw him; cold glares stares at him everywhere. Nobody even bothers to speak to him, except if they were forced to. Not even one friend wants to be beside him. He was alone. Solo. Nobody wanted to be with him! NOBODY!
Then he decided to take a shortcut. After two, yes, two, slashes of knife on his hand didn't end his one and only soul that he has, he started to take drastic measures.
Me: Just to let you know, I had no intentions to made this ever so damn dramatic, or a Shakespeare version of Alice Academy/ Gakuen Alice ;)
He flew his motorcycle at the place he took Anna's life. And yes, he got sends to the emergency cabin in the hospital. He was in coma, but God didn't think it was his fate to die at that day. He opened his eyes as soon as he regained consciousness. But in the end, he learned a lesson. As he woke up and his mother hugged him, eyes swollen because she had been crying all the time, and the first sentence she whispered to him
"Natsume! Thank god, oh, thank god you're awake! Natsume, you are not alone. Your dad, Aoi and mom will always be there for you, even if the whole world is against you, we'll be there for you. Always!"
After that day, he never play motorcycles or as a street boy. He learned to respect his life, and learned that his parents and his sister will be sad if he die. He learned to love them. And to free his mind, his dad asked to be moved to Tokyo, the city where he lived now, in hope that a city this big and never sleeps will slowly erased his past. Suddenly, a splash of water made him opened his eyes. Tsubasa was kneeling next to him, crying without any sound, and as he spoke (more like a whisper) made Natsume felt worse
"She… she was my most precious cousin, I had been with her… since she was very little. Everyday we go to and back to school together. I am the one she finds when she was scared. When she was sad, then she had to move to another village! Every week or two she would write to me. We chat and phoned each other almost every night, then one day, she stopped calling and wrote letters. She was never online, a week after that, I found out she was dead!"
Natsume winced. That last sentence his said went straight into his heart…
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Mikan's POV
I called and called Natsume's cell phone for the thousandth time already, but he still doesn't answer! Damn! Where in the world could he be? Then, suddenly, I got an idea. I quickly text Ruka;
Ruka! I need your help.
It's and emergency.
Call me A.S.A.P!
My hand phone vibrates in just a few seconds. I checked the screen. Ruka! Yes!
"Ruka! Hell yes! Thank god!" I shouted as I click the 'answer' button
"Whoa! Slow down! Whats the 911?" Ruka answered as I told him all the details (Well, except the part that Natsume, uh, kissed me, of course)
"…And he told me not to get in the mess, but I cant possibly do that! So can you help me find him ne, Ruka?"
"Okay, I'll try every place that I could think of. Huh? Wait. You what? Oh, okay, hey Mikan, you still in there? Hotaru wanted to talk to you…" Ruka gave the phone to Hotaru
"Wait-how come you're with Hotaru?" but Hotaru is already on the phone
"Baka" She greeted- typical Hotaru
"Hotaru!" I greet back "How come you're with Ruka?" I asked
"Long story, so what's with you and that Hyuuga-boyfriend-of yours?" She asked back. I can feel my heart ached at the sound of 'boy friend'
"Well-" I started
"I say you should not get into the mess, as he said" She said calmly, cutting me off
"But!" I protested
"Or what makes you so fond of him that you wanted to help him? Don't you realize what he's doing with you?" Hotaru asks again
Okay, that made me speechless, but I'm still going to look for him
"But Hotaru! HE IS MY BOYFRIEND! I need to uh, help him" I lied. See? Told you I was a good actor…
"Fine, fine, Ruka and I will help you. As long as you promised, if we have tried finding him until 9 o'clock, and he is still no where to be found, then the three of us will give up and return home. Deal?"
"Deal" I answer
End of Mikan's POV
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Back to Natsume and Tsubasa
"I didn't do it on purpose, Andou. It was an accident" Natsume whispered
Tsubasa's eyes flashed anger instantly "Really?!! You do know that if two people rode a motorcycle, the one in the back has a bigger risk than the one in front, don't you?! And you do know that it was raining, right??!!!!! And anyway, why must it be her? Why must it be Anna??? Why must it be my cousin? You have tons of girlfriends!" He shouted
Long time ago, even though Natsume is only a street-racer, there are tons of girls who are willing to be his girlfriend, squirming all over him like flies as if he was a Formula One Star. And Tsubasa is not an idiot, who full believed Anna when he told him by phone that Natsume wasn't a play boy even though he has a lot of fans. (When the truth was, Anna is correct).
"She was my first" suddenly Natsume broke his thought
"What the!" Tsubasa cursed as he punched Natsume's face, making him winced in pain
"What do you mean, first? First in what? You are talking to me, not to a girl! First in the second round? How many girls in one round? Twenty?" He cursed
"I'm trying to change here!" Natsume whispered
"Oh, so it's how many? Thirty- no, fourty, maybe?" He shot back again
"Andou..." Natsume started to say
"Shut the hell up! This is not a time for you to defend yourself! It's way too late for that" He said as he kicked Natsume's leg, making him fall
"I did not do it on purpose! But if you think that is not enough then…" with as much as he could gather, Natsume reached for his pocket and pulled out a pocket knife
"Okay, fine, fine, you did not do it on purpose. Even if I do kill you here you still said you did not do it on purpose. It's true that you never rode a motor cycle anymore, no wonder you freak out when I took Mikan on a motorcycle. But don't you think Mikan has a risk of death inside a car?" Tsubasa said
Natsume did not want to answer that question
"Shit. Don't you dare die before you answer my question!" He cursed
"She would never die" Natsume whispered
"Ho, really? But I thought you said you wanted to change? Is this it? You and Mikan went everywhere together. You hug her in front of a thousand people. You held her hand, went to the library together. Eat in the canteen together, do projects together. You practice basketball, she waited for you near the side benches. She's busy in the school council, you help with small jobs in the meeting. It's like you are Siamese twins, you know what? I think you guys would instantly get married after high school" Tsubasa continued talking
"Is that what it looks like?" Natsume asks
"Yes! Even though sometimes I see Mikan not very happy, why? she knows you're an asshole? Or is she another one of you're hopelessly devoted fan that she is willing to do anyting for you?" he asks
"MIKAN.IS.NOT.LIKE.THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Natsume screamed as he punched, kicked and slapped Natsume until he is the one laying in the ground
"I'm trying to improve myself here, listen to me!" He hissed
"But if you do want to change, and first you tried to kill yourself, then move here, and you got a new girl friend in an instance? What a fun way to change, eh? Move here and find a new one, while the old one you buried deep in the ground!" Tsubasa shouted
Those lines also stung. And it hurt a lot, for Natsume
"Hey Hyuuga, did you know that my aunt, Anna's mother, still cries hysterically every night? And did you know that my uncle, Anna's father, had packed and donated Anna's bag, clothes, shoes, and all of Anna's stuff? He donated it all over the place, doesn't matter to who it ended up with, so his wife can forget about how tragic is that incident. You do know that Anna is Mr. Misaki, her social studies teacher's favourite student right? He doesn't believe that she's dead, and he kept on calling her in the absent list! And if Mochu wasn't stopped, you'll be dead by now! All of these people are suffering because of you, while you here are having fun with your girlfriend, but claim that you are changing!"
That's it. Natsume finally spat out the truth..
"She… is not my girlfriend" He said bitterly. There, he had just let go of the most closest person in his life right now
"huh?'' Tsubasa asked, confused
"We are not in a relationship" He repeat
"Then… All these times?" Tsubasa was definitely shocked. He did not expected this
"Just a drama! We were acting!"
"WHY?" Tsubasa asked
"Because I wanted to change, and with that, I need a shield" He explained, but deep down hurting inside
"So YOU USED HER?" Tsubasa shout
"HELL NO! she knows the truth!" Natsume shouted back
"And she agrees?" Tsubasa asked
"Not really" Natsume hissed
"So you forced her??? DAMN!" Tsubasa shouted
"Damn, you are a weasel! How dare you be so unkind to a girl like MIKAN? Why don't you just asked Koko or Ruka or Yuu to be your girlfriend, as a bi-sexual, girls will fend of quickly!" He shouted
"I didn't think of that… I guess" Natsume's head was falling, his bangs covering his eyes
"but why does it had to be MIKAN? Is it because she was small? Petite? So you could easily crushed her if she did not obey?" Tsubasa kept on talking, which Natsume answered with silence
"JUST A DRAMA?" he shouted, as he punched Natsume on the heart
"You know what? Give Mikan to me" Tsubasa hissed at the hurting Natsume
"What the hell?" Natsume hissed back
"You hear me. Mikan, give her to me!"
"The hell. She is not a toy!" Natsume shouted
"BUT YOU SAID SHE IS ONLY A SHIELD!" Tsubasa shouted back
"But you can't! because I, because I, I love … her" Natsume whispered
Suddenly, Tsubasa snickered "Which part hurt the most?" He asks
Without any thoughts, Natsume pointed at his right-chest
"Well then, SORRY!" He shouted as he punched his right chest, as Natsume falls back, leaning on a tree for support
"I'm going home! Needed a shield? Just a drama? Enough. Mikan is going to be mine!" he shouted
"Andou!" Natsume shouted, but Tsubasa was already gone. With all of his effort, he went to his car, but drove home to treat his wounds…
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At Mikan, Hotaru and Ruka
"It's 9 already Mikan. And they are no where" Hotaru tells her as the three of them sat on Mikan's home terrace, the meeting point after the search
"I guess… a deal is a deal, we all have to gave up" Ruka reminded her, as Mikan stays silent
"We are going home. Bye Mikan! See ya!" Ruka patted her back, since he knows what she is thinking. So does Hotaru.
"Yeah, see ya" Hotaru stands up to, as their car drove away, Mikan went inside her room
"Natsume… Please, don't die, please, please, please… I… love… you…" She wishes as she falls asleep
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Natsume was lying down on his bed, resting, his wounds are all bandage already. Though his mom panicked and his sister went hysteric; he lied, telling them that he fell of a flight of stairs, avoiding worries, holding a piece of paper. Remembering a few days ago, when he was in full thoughts about his past, and suddenly on the way home, Mikan gave him a piece of paper…
Flashback
"Lost in thoughts, huh?" Mikan asked on their way home from school, as Natsume gave a small smile
"Is it about your past?" Mikan asks again, which Natsume answered with silence
Mikan nooded her head, she knows it's a yes
"Hey, I brought this for you, maybe it could calm your thoughts, read it, okay?" Mikan said finally, as she pulled out a piece of paper
"A poem?" guessed Natsume, confused and surprised
"No way, I'm way to nice to give you a poem!" Mikan joked
"It's a song" She said
"A song?" Natsume repeated
"It's a really nice song. It calms me. Maybe it'll work on you too?" She smiles
"What If I don't want to except this?" He asks
"YOU HAVE TO" Mikan eyes flashed with anger
"Haha, okay, can I read it?" He asks
"Sure" Mikan hands him the paper
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Mikan wa right. It was indeed a very touching song, and Natsume head was bent down as soon as he finished reading.
End of flashback;
That was the second best present Mikan ever gave her; the first one was the first time she sees him smile, she told him;
"See? You can smile! Don't be so tightly wound. We only got one life to live, Natsume!"
And Tonight, as Natsume read the song all over again… he smiles, the best smile he could ever shown… And he re-read his favourite line out loud
" I'll be there for you through it all… even if saving you sends me to heaven"
It erases all his pain, all his thoughts, all his depression, just for tonight, as he repeat the line once more in his head before he falls asleep, still holding the paper…
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Reviews. Longest Chapter, ever! See ya next chapter :)
Oh and… HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE !! ;D
Double Kisses,
J