Um…it's been a while?

Just for the record. I never give up on a fic. Ever.

So it's lovely to be back, and hopefully I can keep it that way. *Misses you guys*

Especially RM(*Squishy Hugs & HEARTS* if you're still out there, 'm really sorry.)

R/E?

Thank you for your time…and ever-loving patience.

The blood under Derek's skin is seething as he watches Spencer swing his legs back and forth, as he sits on the tail end of the ambulance. A paramedic dabs at the gash that splits his forehead, Spencer's face wrinkles in a grimace from the sting of antiseptic.

The people milling around are nothing but static in the background, a second thought, an annoyance really.

The muscles in Derek's body seize as he forces himself to calm the hell down for a minute.

Spencer's safe.

He's been in worse scrapes than this.

You're just…

In hindsight, Derek wants to smack his own self for being so blind. No. Blind is a weak excuse.

In denial.

Now that's being honest.

To make matters worse…it took Garcia's prodding to make him be honest with his own damn self.

He must remember to thank Garci.

Instead he's standing a few meters away from the ambulance that holds Spencer, who is getting a bandage pressed to the wound by an anonymous paramedic that's just doing his job, but that's making Derek feel ridiculous as the slightly unwarranted, irrational jealousy comes rearing its ugly head within him.

Those could be Derek's hands.

Instead, his hands are jammed so deep in his pockets as Spencer looks up and gives the paramedic a tight-lipped smile and a nod of the head. A thank you as he hops of the back of the cab.

And Derek can't stand it any longer as he kicks himself once more for courage, (when has he needed that?) taking the few steps needed to be by Spencer's side.

He awkwardly gives him a pat on the shoulder, and Spencer jumps. Derek fights the urge to ruffle Spencer's hair and press his lips to Spencer's temple.

Derek instead looks at the ground before looking at Spencer.

"Give you a lift?" Derek's voice is soft and he can feel Spencer tense a little under his hand. Spencer shifts a little, reaching up to touch the tape around the edge of the gauze.

"Alright." Spencer says after a moment.

Derek nods, trying to quell the nervousness that has taken up space within his chest, squashing his vital organs.

He doesn't even know that he's holding his breath until Spencer's buckling his seatbelt, and Derek lets it go. He lopes his arm over the passenger seat, and can't help but notice the way Spencer flinches away. Derek lets it fall back, returning to rest on the wheel.

"Reid…'m sorry bout earlier." Derek can't make himself look over at Spencer. That feeling from before wraps itself around his heart, locking it's vice grip around it.

That feeling of isolation, of want, of need, of unworthiness settles deep in his bones as he feels Spencer's gaze rake across his face.

"It's alright." Spencer says as he study's Derek's profile. Derek's tense shoulders, his grip on the steering wheel, the way he won't even look at him.

Derek will break when he's ready.

Spencer settles back in his seat watching the city slip by.

In Virginia, it's too early for snow.

Derek wants to scream. The Kid would accept that. Accept Derek being short with him…and keep it going as if he didn't do a thing. It's not right.

"I was wrong for taking my frustration out on you." Derek says.

"Happens to the best of us. It's okay." Spencer says evenly.

Something inside Derek snaps. He grits his teeth as he drives on.

"What's got you so upset? Was it something I did?" Spencer asks. Derek looks quickly over at him before turning his attention back to the road.

"No, of course not." Derek sighs. He just needs to make it to Reid's apartment before this conversation goes any deeper. Almost there…just a few more streets to go.

"Tell me, maybe I can help." Spencer's lips quirk into a half frown.

"It's alright Kid, I'll work it out myself." Derek tries to shake him. The silence stretches taught between them.

Derek sighs again as he pulls up to Spencer's apartment.

"Here you are." Derek taps his fingers against the wheel. Spencer makes no move to get out of the car.

Derek kicks himself for letting the silence get to him. If he could just ignore this, everything could go back to normal, there doesn't need to be any awkwardness between them…

But his mouth has other plans.

"What would you do if you realized that you had…feelings for someone who would never return them?" Derek stares out the window. There's a streetlamp buzzing above the car, light flickering in and out.

Spencer fiddles with the seatbelt, mouth pursed in thought.

"Well…I'd try to work up the courage to tell them…and most likely fail because it's well, me." Spencer gives a sad chuckle as he shakes his head.

"I m-mean, the worst thing is they say no, right? Says the hypocrite." Spencer says more to himself than anything.

"Right." Derek looks over at Spencer, who worries his fingers. He gives Spencer a small nudge. Spencer looks up, wide-eyed.

"What would you say if I told you that I..." Derek's voice wavers as nerves take over; Spencer waits patiently.

"What if it was you I had those feelings for?" Derek's voice barely makes it past his lips. Spencer shivers.

"Well…" Spencer looks down at his hands at a loss.

"What if I told you that they've been there for a while, but I was too stubborn to acknowledge them, hoping they'd go away." Derek whispers.

"Why would you want that?" Spencer can't wrap his head around the information. "Why me?"

"You've got the brains, the beauty that most people would kill for. You make me laugh like there's no tomorrow. You listen to what have to say, you put up with all the shit I put out, you've always been there when I've need someone. You make me want to look forward, to have a future instead of being stuck in the here and now…you're…just…" Derek's heart aches. Spencer shouldn't have to ask that.

Derek pulls on the front of Spencer's shirt, loving the feel of the material gathering beneath his grip. Spencer shivers as he pulls closer to Derek, hand reaching to caress the side of Derek's face. Derek seals the space between them, lips brushing together.

Spencer's mouth is warm and softer than he thought possible as he leans into the kiss. He feels as if the floor as fallen from beneath him as they kiss; soft, gentle, like passing a breath between them.

Derek smiles against Spencer's mouth, kissing the crease of his lips.

"Why not you?" Derek murmurs. Spencer can't help but laugh.

Snowflakes light on the windshield; Spencer closes his eyes, leaning in for another kiss.

A/N: Kinda rusty, I know. I struggled with this.

I want to thank that Guest Reviewer who kinda poked me to finish this.

I miss you guys so much. Time for me to get off my behind and write.

If anyone wants to prompt me…please do. I need some inspiration.

Thank you so much for your time.

DA-SM