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A/N: Just as a warning, this chapter has angst and alcohol. K, that's all.

Chapter 8

The downtrodden creatures woke to a dreary morning in the cave. Upon awakening they found that thirteen more of their number had died of wounds and infections during the night. The beasts stared dry-eyed at the death, something they had had more than their fair share of in the past 24 hours.

It was Farah who broke the gloom, "Shouldn't we get a move on? There is nothing we can do for anybeast, living or dead, by staying here." No one could argue with her brutal logic so they all filed up next to the aquatic entrance of the cavern and exited one by one.

Kinliv found herself in the bright, early morning sunlight and struck out for the bank. She reached it and pulled herself up onto dry land. Once they had all regrouped, they began the final stage of their journey to Redwall Abbey. The trip passed in mostly silence, all were reflecting on the friends and family they had lost. Kinliv's mind was focused on their destination. Somehow in her mind their safe arrival at the Abbey had become linked with hope for her being relieved of her depression. She knew this was a silly thought with no grounding, but still she clung to it fervently.

By noon the rose-colored towers of Redwall could be seen over the tops of the trees and the travelers' hearts lifted collectively. Their pace picked up and with a little more vigor they continued. Before long they reached the massive wooden gates. Calimb took a step forward and knocked. Shortly after, a little old mouse scurried out of the gatehouse. He blinked and stared in shock at the force of four hundred that stood before him, looking about ready to run right back into his gatehouse and lock the door until next season.

Kenafon hailed him, "Good sir, would you please let us in? As you can see we are friends!"

The gatekeeper nodded and hurried away. A second later the colossal doors opened, giving them access to the building. They massed inside and found themselves on the grounds. A middle-aged mouse approached them. He looked important for he was clad in a fine robe of deep green trimmed with gold. When he spoke it was in a smooth and melodic voice, "Good day to all! I am Abbot Boniface. I welcome you all to this fine Abbey, you will be shown to your rooms and dinner will be served in an hour in the Great Hall." Kinliv liked this mouse right off, his tone told that though he was kind, he was also powerful and power was one thing Kinliv respected.

They were led into the Abbey by several mice in habits. They progressed up a flight of stairs and into the dormitory area where they were split up. Kinliv and Farah were put into one room and next to them, in a slightly larger dormitory, resided Keem, Rowan, Kenafon and Calimb. The two squirrels took turns in the one bath that the room held, and then changed into the fresh attire that the Redwallers had provided for them. Kinliv was clad in a blood red tunic bound with a leather belt and silver buckle. To be polite, she left her rapier in the room, but stuck a small dagger into her leather boot. Farah had chosen dark green pants and lavender top. Kinliv noticed that she too had pocketed a knife.

Barely talking, the two headed down to the Great Hall. It appeared that in the arrival of sudden guests the Redwallers hadn't had much time to prepare and had simply put out quite a few smaller tables in addition to the large one positioned at the center of the Hall. They found Calimb at one of these and, once they were seated, were informed that the other three would be along shortly. As predicted, when the others arrived, Rowan sat beside Farah, Kenafon next to Kinliv, and Keem with Calimb.

Gradually, the rest of the Hall filled and soon Abbot Boniface stood to say a few words greeting the guests and a simple prayer. Then, the food arrived. Kinliv had to admit that it was the best fare she had ever consumed, yet when she bit into yet another chunk of cheese studded with all manner of vegetables and nuts she began to miss the simple traveling food of which she was so accustomed to. She glanced over at Keem, Kenafon and Calimb and noticed that they too seemed to be experiencing the same thoughts. Rowan and Farah, on the other hand, seemed to be having the time of their lives. They were giggling madly and sampling everything in sight. Kinliv felt the now familiar boiling of her blood and she unconsciously ground her teeth.

Desperately Kinliv looked her eyes and her eyes fell on a plain brown pitcher. She grabbed the object, brought it to her face, and smiled grimly as the sent of alcohol reached her nose. She poured herself a goblet of what turned out to be strong ale. She brought the cup to her lips and took a gulp. She didn't particularly like alcohol, but anything to act as a distraction, ever temporarily, she would take without complaint. She often drank after she killed, but hadn't been able to of late. She took another gulp, letting herself surrender to the intoxicating fluid. From behind her she heard the sound of a beast clearing their throat and she spun around a tad unsteadily. She saw an old mouse with a strict expression staring at her disapprovingly.

"You're far too young to be drinking something so strong," he scolded. "Why don't you have some barley water or strawberry fizz instead?"

Kinliv merely gave him a dirty look and took another swig defiantly. She couldn't stand older beasts who thought they knew what was good for her. He didn't know her and she wasn't going to let him push her around.

"Really now, you'll make yourself sick!" he exclaimed, beginning to lose his temper. It was clear that from his manner he was used to being obeyed.

Kinliv ignored him, downed the rest of the ale and poured herself another goblet. A pleasant buzzing was beginning in her skull, drowning out her pain. She knew she'd have one hell of a hangover tomorrow, but at the moment she really didn't care.

The mouse raised his voice, "Now you put that glass down right now! Listen to your elders and betters!"

Something in Kinliv snapped, she stood up, wheeled around and tipped the contents of the second goblet into her mouth before slamming the cup on the table. She may have been drunk but the only thing her voice was shaking with was rage. She spoke quietly, but one who really knew her would be able to tell that she was in a furry beyond words by the way her voice a betrayed emotion and by the fact that she left out the honorary "thees, thys and thous", "So you think you are better than me, do you? You have no idea what I have been through!" her voice grew louder, "You do not even know me and you think you can tell me what to do!" she was now screaming, the eyes of the entire Hall were on her, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE SEEN! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY I DRINK!"

The mouse was stunned, as was the rest of the hall. Only Kenafon seemed to be able of movement, he jumped up and grabbed his friend's shaking arm with a muttered, "Let's go outside."

Kinliv, though still seething, allowed herself to be dragged into the cool night air. Immediately she felt her head clearing, but the white hot rage was still there. She paid no attention to where the shrew was leading her and received quite a shock when he pushed her into the freezing water of the Abbey's pond. She blinked several times and whatever cloudiness still remained in her head vanished.

"What on earth did thee do that for?" she asked, glad that her monotone was back.

"You were drunk." He responded simply.

"Yes, and I was rather enjoying it, thank thee."

He sighed and sat down, relieved when she sat beside him, "Look Kinliv, I agree with everything you said, but-"

"He had no right to say he was better than me. He does not even know me."

He ignored her, plowing on as though there hadn't been an interruption, "But, we are guests here and, whether you like it or not, we need their help."

She snorted, "As if creatures that weak could help us."

"I told you before, that they can be foolish, but they aren't all like that."

"I hope thou art correct."

He sighed, "Look they're holding a war council in someplace they call the Cavern Hole, are you coming?"

She grinned wryly, "No I do not think I shall. I do not believe they would want me to attend and Keem already knows all the plans we have come up with. Besides, I should head for bed, as you can see I cannot hold my alcohol well and I should probably sleep the rest of it off."

Kenafon respected his friend's wishes and, though they walked back into the building together, he headed back into the Hall while watching her slink back up to her room. He sat between his father and Keemin Tae. The hall seemed to settle down a bit and the food was beginning to be cleared away.

Keem leaned over asking, "How is she?"

"Better, we talked a bit."

"Did ye? Ah take it she won't be attending the council?"

Kenafon nodded, "I think she needs to mull things over."

"Ah, well yon Farah will not be there either."

"Why not?" the shrew asked curiously.

"She said that war didn't interest her and to call for her if they wanted to discuss trading, economy or politics."

"Ah."

Soon the Hall began to clear out. Most creatures heading to their beds, some to the kitchens and a small few to the Cavern Hole. When Keem, Kenafon, Rowan and Calimb arrived at the meeting they found that the Abbot, the old mouse that Kinliv had shouted at and a young female otter awaiting them. Keem's eyes shot to the magnificent sword that the otter was holding.

The Abbot introduced the old mouse first, "This is Cassus, a friend of mind, Elder and advisor." He then gestured to the sword-bearing otter, "And this is Corydalis, or Cory, she's our Abbey's warrior and the Skipper of Otters. That sword she's holding is the Sword of Martin the Warrior, our Abbey's first warrior."

"Ah've heard tales of such a mouse." mused Keem.

"I'll show you the tapestry sometime," said Cory, "Our only depiction of the warrior."

"I'd like that, thank ye." Responded Keem.

Cassus cleared his throat, something he seemed to be good at, "Aren't we supposed to be speaking of war?"

"Yes, why don't you tell us of this threat that approaches?" Suggested Boniface.

So Keem spoke, he told of Radin and his numbers and the original four questors. He explained the battle plans that he and Kinliv had formed and finally he gave a plea for assistance from the Abbey dwellers.

The three sat still for a moment before Cassus burst out, "You expect us to help you? This is preposterous! We are not fighters."

Cory argued, "It is true that we do not produce warriors, but we have quite a few young creatures that could learn to fight. And, I could get my otter clan to help. In total," she calculated quickly, "that would be an extra one hundred and fifty beasts."

"You heard the young mouse though!" Cassus snapped, "He said this Radin has over one thousand beasts! Even with these creatures we would only number five hundred fifty!"

Cory opened her mouth to retaliate, but the Abbot spoke, halting the conversation, "Ah, but you forget, the Long Patrol is coming for a visit. In fact they should arrive tomorrow. That would be another two hundred fifty creatures."

Kenafon grinned, "I've always wanted to meet the hairs of the Long Patrol, perilous they're called."

"And indeed they are." Agreed his father, "I saw them once as a lad, doncha know? Magnificent beasts."

"Yes well, that only brings us up to eight hundred, we're still outnumbered." Said the old irritable mouse.

"Yes, but in the right conditions and with a decent battle plan we may actually stand a chance."

"You're the experts." Stated Abbot Boniface, "How much time do we have and what do we need to do?"

Kenafon thought, "Well, on the journey here I heard two birds speaking of Radin. It seems his army will rest for two weeks, so that's how much time we have to prepare. Also, we don't want the fight at the Abbey, it'll be too hard to defend and fight at the same time. Do you know of any wooded hills near here?"

Cory nodded, "Yes, there's one two miles west of here."

"Good, if we can lure Radin there and have our archers waiting on the hill we'll have the element of surprise and a height advantage. From then on we can use Keem and Kinliv's 'two-pronged pincer backed by archers' plan."

After a bit of talking and smoothing out details they all seemed reasonably happy with the plan. Cory was going to set out the next morning to find her clan who should be at their spring camp in the woods, but first she showed Keem the tapestry. The two walked to where it was situated in silence. When Keem saw the mouse depicted on it he gasped.

"Ah've seen that creature before!"

The otter looked at him curiously, "He's been dead for countless seasons."

"Ah didn't actually see him as flesh and fur, Ah just saw him in a vision." He drew his sapphire-hilted blade, "He told me how to retrieve this."

"It's a splendid weapon," the Skipper said approvingly and held up Martin's sword next to it, "They seem to be made out of the same metal, I heard it was from a falling star."

Keem merely nodded, his head was reeling. He politely excused himself and returned to his room thinking everything over.

Kinliv lay on her back, eyes staring unseeingly at the ceiling above her. She could not remember the last time she had been in a bed and then realized that she probably never had. She was vaguely surprised when Farah entered the room shortly after she had lain down. The other squirrel sat down on her own bed, next to Kinliv's, without a word and Kinliv settled into her own thoughts once more. After a while Farah startled her by speaking in a voice much softer than her usual tone.

"Do you think we'll die?"

"Of course, every beast dies."

"No, I mean in the upcoming battle."

"Oh, who can say, some of us shall, some of us shall not."

They lapsed back into silence for a bit before Farah asked another question.

"Are you afraid of death?"

"No."

Farah sighed, "I wish I could be like that, I'm terrified of the prospect. And then I keep thinking what would happen if you or Rowan or Keem died. I don't think I'd be able to take it."

This put Kinliv of balance, "Thou would care if I died?"

"Of course! We're friends, aren't we?"

"I guess."

Once more a silence passed between them. Kinliv was stunned that Farah viewed her as a friend. Once this sunk in though, another feeling took its place: guilt. She felt as though she should tell her "friend" of her feelings for Rowan. Though she used all her logic to beat down such an absurd notion, a little part of her mind remained firm on the idea. The mental battle began to eat away at her and suddenly she could take it no longer. All the secrecy, the hatred, the pain, the love. It all built up inside her and finally it spilled out.

"Farah, I believe I am in love with Rowan."

Farah did not look the least bit surprised, "I figured you were." Kinliv could not think of anything to say to this, but apparently she didn't have to because the other squirrel continued, "I knew you loved him, even from the beginning. No offence, but it was pretty obvious. Oh well, you won't have to put up with any longer, I plan on breaking up with him on the morrow."

What ever Kinliv had been expecting, it wasn't this. She gaped at the other as though she were insane and finally managed to ask, "Why?"

"I don't want you to be in pain any longer. It's been fun, but no matter what it seems like, I really don't like hurting other creatures."

"No, do not do this." Kinliv argued before she could stop herself, "Thou say thou dost not wish to hurt others, but thou would be hurting Rowan. He needs thee and thou need him."

"Do you mean it?" Farah asked, "You're willing to put up with the pain for our happiness?"

"Yes. Thou art my friend and he is as well. I care for both of thee."

"That's so…" she faded away.

"I am going to tell him though, before the battle."

"Yes you should. Just incase…"she faded away again, apparently not wanting to voice such grim thoughts.

Kinliv felt a bit better after telling her, but wondered if she had done the right thing. Her doubt was strengthened the next time her companion spoke.

"I feel bad though…about all this."

"Do not."

"I can't help it."

"Just do not, be happy."

"Thanks. I still feel bad though."

Kinliv's temper was straining, "Just do not feel bad. Be happy, though dost not know how long it will all last, what with wars and battles. Enjoy life now, I would do the same were I thou."

This seemed to settle her and soon Kinliv figured that she had fallen asleep. She wished she could join the other in the lands of slumber, but her mind was whirling. Had she done the right thing? How and when would she tell Rowan? What of the upcoming battle? Who would die? It was quite along time before Kinliv's mind settled down enough for her to sleep.

More A/N: Thanks for reviewing, this chapter and/or last.