Author notes:
I do not own Harry Potter or any other original works mentioned here.
My writing still sucks. You have been warned.
Chapter version 1.1
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Weasleys are EVIL, yes CAPITAL letters. Charlie is most harmless out of them all, minor smuggler that has little to no contact with Harry. Twins are weapon dealers selling their inventions to all sides during war, Harry learned about it in his 7th year and using his Boy-Who-Lived persona he terminated partnership ('if V. learns about it he will burn your shop to the ground with you inside, I cannot put you in danger because of some money'). Percy is worst of them all – he is a... Bureaucrat!
Causing more chaos is close to impossible, destroying Ministry would actually IMPROVE situation and going after random people (which Harry can do with ease) might or might not be part of the 'fix the hellhole' plan.
I hope this chapter is only slightly bad.
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"I want you Harry to use wealth you gathered and political power of house Black and Potter to fix the hellhole known as Magical Britain."
"And how am I supposed to do that? Should I walk into Wizengamot and say 'hey guys, I'm creating new political block, who wants to join?'"A little sarcasm could be heard in Harry's voice when he said that.
"It would probably kill several people from asphyxiation, too much laugh can be fatal. I was thinking you could use your alter ego, you have one to move freely around, right? "Harry nodded." 'Sell' proxy rights to him and use money you 'obtained' from Gringotts to buy back Potter-Black holdings, purebloods are now stripped for cash and will sell without problems."
"Yes... John Doe, Wizengamot member..."
"You named your alter ego John Doe?" Andromeda couldn't stop her laugh. "What did goblins said about it?"
"They charged me extra for creating a vault under false name." They both laughed.
"No, John Doe won't do, it's too obvious fake. But you can use some other better sounding name. We will claim you came from US, they have different schooling system there so no one will be able to check the truth.
"And that's the whole plan? Get Potter-Black seats and some companies?"
"Of course not, that's the first step. After that you can use Lord Nabilius to cause chaos and mayhem, targeting Malfoy and other people you don't like. If you do enough damage Malfoy won't have money to rebuild and without money his allies will abandon him and start fighting each other for leadership. As for Dumbledore I don't have any good ideas how to deal with him, maybe if we knew who the Chosen One is and managed to convince her to help us we could do some damage to Dumbledore's support base, but it's a shot in the dark."
"Oh, I know who the Chosen One is, my good old friend Hermione Granger."
"What did she do to you to cause such treatment?" Everyone in wizarding world knew that Chosen One has to work as a prostitute to gain power to defeat Lord Nabilius... they also speculated that said girl is muggleborn so most people saw no problem with that.
"Besides informing Dumbledore about everything I did? Well, she was always nagging me about giving people with authority proper respect, if I got Galleon for every time she corrected me saying 'professor Snape' I would double Potter fortune. Not to mention blindly believing in Dumbledore. I told her many times how my so called family treated me, yet she always insisted that I should go back because 'Dumbledore knows what he is doing'. So now she is on receiving end of prophecy and can learn by herself that Dumbledore knows what he is doing."
"I hope you aren't that angry at my daughter, she was part of that Order group."
"No, it wasn't her fault that she ended up with wrong crowd, her husband on the other hand is on my list. Now assuming I will follow this plan, there is still one more thing – how am I supposed to pass for someone else on a daily basis? I do have some disguise but it won't work very well on people who know me."
"Oh, that's easy. You can become Metamorphmage, I have ritual to do this in one of books that I ekhm... 'took' with me when I left family. The common knowledge that it's inherited trait was disinformation done by Blacks to protect secrets of the ritual, after all if it's inherited trait no one will look for possible ways to gain it. The ritual is illegal in Britain and other ICW countries but we can exploit loophole in law and do it on a ship on international waters, laws against such activities don't apply there."
"In other words I am supposed to be nice businessman during day and evil Dark Lord who attacks poor ex-Deatheaters during night?"
"Yes, that sums it quite nice."
"I'm in."
For Harry it was quite good deal, he will have some fun with other people he hated and can even rebuild Potter and Black families this way. Of course it will be quite some time before anyone will learn the truth, but the satisfaction that he did all that right in front of everyone will be even better. Harry called service to extend his stay and canceled flight to Japan, he also asked for boat rental service. It took about half an hour to rent a boat that Andromeda considered good enough for the the ritual. After that Andromeda returned to the wedding party to have some fun watching her poor nephew, Harry on the other hand continued with his plan and went to visit several brothels.
Next day Harry met Andromeda and her husband Ted Tonks who was going to help operate the ship, after exchanging pleasantries they went see the ship. The ship was 40ft long motor yacht, at least that's what Harry has been told by Ted as his own knowledge about ships was close to none. On the yacht they have met owner's representative who ensured that people renting the ship have someone qualified to operate it. Both Ted and Andromeda had necessary qualifications thus after some paperwork and loading some supplies they have left the harbor and sailed toward sea. As soon as they left Thames River and had no people around to watch them Andromeda started preparations. The ritual required small circle where person will be located, several candles placed in strategic positions and a potion which was easy enough that nine year old could and did brew it. The 'evil blood magic' was used in potion that required blood of person who undergo ritual and several drops of blood placed on ritual circle. Andromeda told Harry that most blood rituals were quite easy and that was the reason they were banned, governments were afraid of them. For example there was ritual to obtain animagus form, normal way required meditation, several potions and most importantly – time. The ritual method required circle, potion that can be brewed by average second year Hogwarts student and took less that half a day, the only drawback was that person needed some training in using animal form, something that during 'standard' route is obtained along the way. Harry wanted to become animagus but Andromeda told him that he had to wait several months for the next ritual, doing it earlier could cause significant problems.
After leaving British territorial waters and finding a spot where they won't be disturbed the ritual begun. Harry cut his finger, several drops of his blood fallen on places Andromeda specified then he drunk the potion (blood was added during brewing process) and muttered short incantation in Latin. The result wasn't very spectacular, no light shows or gates of hell being opened, everything that happened was candles burning out one after another in an express time.
"And... that's it?" Harry asked after last candle was gone.
"Yes, Black family are experts on rituals. I have ways to modify this and other rituals to involve very impressive firework and other kind of effects, but complexity also is increased."
"Then why did anyone bother to do such thing?"
"Showing off? Average person will think that all that firework means very powerful and complicated magic. Thus most people will pay Black family to prepare rituals for them rather than do it themselves. Now I know this sounds lame, but concentrate on changing color of your hair."
Harry saw Tonks doing that dozens times and when he tried himself...
"Did anything happened?" Harry asked.
"Check yourself." Andromeda gave him a mirror. What Harry saw almost terrified of him – his hair was blond, just like Malfoy's, but this is where similarities ended as HIS hair was shaped in some sort of spikes, it looked similar to some Japanese game character he saw.
"Everything fine down there?"
"Yes honey, everything went fine, Harry is learning how to use his ability." Andromeda informed Ted who was watching out for ships, Notice-Me-Not charms lost most of their power with range thus best way was hide their actions was to simply not be seen by anyone.
"Fine, I will take us back to port then."
The yacht turned around and head back to London. During that time Harry tried to learn some control with his hair, but everything he managed always reminded him of some character he saw on TV or in a computer game. The worst thing was that blond was the only 'normal' color he could manage, green, violet, blue, pink, white, silver and probably many other variations with different names known only to females. Most of the hairstyles had either spikes or was too long to be worn by male. He finally settled on white spiky hair he saw in some show named after cleaning agent.
"Nice one, but I liked the blue one with pigtails better." Andromeda decided to comment his hairstyle.
"We can still go back, I am sure we manage to brew another potion and you can have whatever hairstyle you want."
"That's not bad idea, remember how much time you spend complaining that charms do not work very well and you have to do your hair muggle way?" Ted decided to join discussion.
"Ha ha ha. I am carrying your daughter, remember?"
"Oh excuses excuses, Harry if you ever get married you should ask your wife to do this ritual, this way when she complains about hair, makeup or overweight you can always say that she didn't want easy way to fix that."
"You. "Andromeda pointed at Ted. "Watch the ship, I do not wish to hit anything and swim back home. You." This time she pointed at Harry. "Go back and try to control your hair, this is supposed to be easiest part."
"I can control them, just every time I try to change it ends up as hairstyle from cartoons that was closest to the thing I wanted."
"Then you are not controlling them."
"Fine, fine."
Harry returned to his hotel in the late evening. He still couldn't control his hair thus to hide it they opted for a simple hat. He spent most of the week in his apartment learning to use his new ability, during that time Ted and Andromeda were traveling Magical Britain and buying back Potter-Black business.
Ted proved to be interesting person from Harry's perspective. While being muggleborn thus not being eligible to be in Slytherin house he still showed multiple traits associated with that house. During his Hogwarts days he was nice guy to whom people went when they needed help, be it homework, problems with family or boyfriend/girlfriend issues. Ted would always listen to them, advise and help with their problems, most of which were centered around teenage love. With his help many people at Hogwarts found their second half, that's how he met Andromeda. One of her non-Slytherin friends told her to visit him as he might be able to help her avoid marrying Malfoy. At that point she and Ted were in their 7th year and Ted was already learning law for his future career as solicitor, he didn't care much about NEWTs as he knew that as a muggleborn he could have O in 12 NEWTs and still wouldn't get good job. Andromeda despised Malfoy as he was walking around Hogwarts acting like he owned the place, he expected everything given to him because he was Malfoy, he had ambition but lacked any skills in subterfuge and was as cunning as rock. And so Andromeda met Ted, she asked people about his 'nice, helpful guy' persona and recognized it for what it was – building connections to be exploited in future, no one would ever suspect Hufflepuff from doing so which was the reason he was very successful. When she asked him about deal with Malfoy family he told her to date a muggleborn, her family would have her disowned from Black family thus leaving her to pursuit her own goals in life. Andromeda liked the idea and next week she and Ted were dating, it took a little more than that to have her family disown her, but Ted gladly helped her in that assignment as well.
Hearing his past Harry asked Ted if Hat considered putting him in Slytherin, Ted only response was direct quote of Hat's words. "Slytherin? No NO and NO, even if I could I wouldn't do that, those poor fools wouldn't know what hit them! HUFFLEPUFF!" Harry said that Hat tried to put him into Slytherin, which at this point didn't surprise anyone.
After a week old Black business were bought back by shell companies Ted created, but Potter side of things proved to be a bit difficult.
"Windmills? Waterwheels? Horse-drawn ploughs? Is this for real? I mean I know that wizards like traditions but isn't that but too much?" Harry wasn't happy about state his family's business was in. Potters owned most crops production and food business oriented around them. At this point Harry wasn't sure if he wanted them back, fortunately Black wealth was centered around potion ingredients thus 'traditional' was best as none of them knew anything about that industry.
"Most of those is modified and efficiency is much higher than non-magical version, at least they have to be if those numbers are true."
"But HORSE-DRAWN plough? Horses Ted, non-magical world stopped using them in a large scale farming more than half a century ago!"
Andromeda decided to join discussion. "You are forgetting one important thing. Potters were purebloods. I don't say that your grandparents bought that 'purebloods are superior' crap, but they were raised in magical world and had little to none knowledge about non-magical side of things."
"So what do we do? Ministry sold all those companies at fraction of their real value, some people became very rich from all bribes that had to be given, do we buy them back at half market price? Many people will sell them as they need hard cash."
"I'm afraid we lost our chance to buy them that cheap. Goblin banks from all over the Europe bailed out Ministry by buying back Gringots. Now Ministry has money and even they know that those money have to be pumped into economy to prevent total collapse. They have started several large projects and this will keep purebloods you robbed afloat."
"Wait, why no one told me about it?" Harry was surprised at the news.
"It was all over the Prophet, don't tell me you don't read it?"
"OK, I won't. So what do they plan to do with all that money? Rebuild Hogwarts to make it even bigger castle?" Harry said chuckling, he stopped when both Tonkses didn't laugh. "They plan to do that, aren't they?" Ted only nodded. "That's great!"
"What?!" Both Ted and Andromeda shouted in surprise.
"Uhm... yes, it's great."
"You destroyed the castle and now you are happy that they are rebuilding it? Ministry won't change anything, they won't finish before September 1st, but they will have enough facilities for school to open at October 1st. Building crews will work during school year to finish rest of the castle, they are supposed to finish before Easter." With magic building things was much easier... well, with magic and huge amount of money to be precise.
"Really? I mean it's not that more than quarter of Hogwart was ever used, come on we have HUGE castle and less than dozen classes are used at any single time. During my first year Dumbledore even closed entire floor without anyone complaining about lack of space. Why would they need even bigger castle? Why Founders needed such big castle? Never mind, it's good that they are rebuilding it."
"Both Founders and Ministry were megalomaniacs. But that's not the point, why are you so happy about this?"
"Isn't that obvious? I now have a chance to blow up Hogwarts... again! I was thinking about using those huge guns from battleships, or maybe rocket artillery? Stuffing it with explosives is quite boring but might work if we won't came up with anything better." Harry started muttering under his nose about ways he can blow up Hogwarts.
Andromeda tried changing the subject. "You have nearly year to plan this, now we have to decide what do we do about Potter holdings. They belonged to your family so it's your decision Harry."
Harry started to pace the room thinking. He easily could buy back everything, but at full value it would only help to fund next Dark Lord, but leaving everything in hands of those families was also out of question, those farms and rest of industry did made profit after all.
"I say we do nothing."
"Well, that's fine by me, but you..." Harry interrupted Andromeda.
"No, I didn't say we leave them alone. Ted, are there any import-export laws between magical and mundane world?"
"There are no laws, magical world is self sufficient and importing common goods is to expensive due to Galleon-Pound exchange rate, we are importing some luxury goods but that's all. Magical world has nothing to export without breaking Statue of Secrecy so there is no way to obtain pounds other than Gringotts."
"So there are no laws regulating that? Good, my idea is simple – we buy farms on mundane side and use mundane technology to grow all the food Magical Britain requires, it will be cheaper than buying back Potter properties and we will remove most of the competition from the market with cheaper prices."
"That could work in the short run, in the long run Ministry will most likely impose severe taxes on you to preserve magical business."
"Wait Ted, it could work. We can use their laws against them. Ministry can impose any taxes on any business they want, with exception of those owned by Lords. Those can be only taxed by Wizengamot and money won't go to Ministry but to Wizengamot. Usually Wizengamot gives money to Ministry to help their funding."
"So let me get this straight. Ministry can tax any business they want any way they want, presumably to ruin them, thus forcing owner to sell to some Lord who pays little to no taxes at all?"
"Yes, you only forget to mention that both owner and said Lord can bribe Ministry to set taxes how they want, of course Lords have more money at their disposal and win pretty much always." Ted had many cases like that, he always advised owners to sell as there was no way they could win using law, most sold but some were more stubborn and tried to fight in court, the court being Wizengamot newer sided with them.
"So Harry has to become Lord rather than proxy holder, we can do that."
"And how I am supposed to do that Andromeda?"
"Well, you cannot become Lord Potter as everyone knows you are last of Potters, but there is nothing stopping you from becoming Lord Castor hmm... White holding Black seat, that's how Potter family came to existence. Originally your ancestors were named Prevells, but when they made many enemies they had to disappear, Lord Prevell gave away his title to his 'distant cousin' named Potter. For several years Prevells were 'dying' and leaving all properties to their 'distant cousins' from Potter family."
"No offense, but how do you know that? It wouldn't work if it wasn't a secret..."
"For two centuries after that Potters and Blacks had several clashes... true Gryffindors would never last long against Black family, yet Potters not only survived but thrived. Due to that our ancestors started searching through archives and found evidence about this switch that could seriously harm Potter reputation, rather that use it to fight current Lord Black saw great skill of Potter family and approached them with alliance offer. Our Houses were secretly allied for the last seven centuries, that's the reason Sirius was never disowned, that's the reason your grandmother was Black... And most likely that's the reason you never went to Slytherin, the Hat recognized Potter and knew that Potters NEVER went to Slytherin, I heard that crown argument was 'no true Slytherin would ever go to that house'."
Ted only chuckled at that. "I know something about this."
"With your Methamorph skills you can pass as twenty five year old, you can claim to be related to Blacks through your grandmother squib banished from family. Your family was living in US where your father has become rich. After he retired he gave his company to you and your brother, you wanted to make name for yourself so you asked your brother to buy out your part. From your grandmother you knew about Black heritage, you changed your name to keep your family away from current problems and went to Britain. You met Harry Potter and convinced him to give you Black Lordship in exchange for money to move away from here, Potter also gave you proxy rights to his seat as he didn't know who was using it. If they ask about your education you can say you concentrated on mundane studies and only had basic education required to control your magic. US has different education system, you can attend normal school and only go to summer camps to learn about magic, OWL and NEWT level education is not mandatory."
"That's good story, but why I never passed OWLs and NEWTs in it? How am I supposed to defend myself without NEWT level spells?"
"Spam Reductor curse, I heard it worked for you during Battle, you can say that you knowledge is limited so you are using simplest spells. Or get yourself a gun. As for why, British wizards can check if you passed OWLs and NEWTs in US, it would too be hard to fake those, on the other hand they have no way to check if you attended any of those summer camps or graduated from mundane school, after all before coming here you changed your name."
"What about heritage tests?"
"The one where you put three drops of blood on parchment to see your ancestors?"
"I don't know, I only heard that there are some tests. Hermione took one to see if she's related to some wizards."
"Stupid girl. The tests are based on information stored in Gringotts archives, for obvious reasons muggles are not included. Now that those records are gone you could claim to be descendant of King Arthur and no one would be able to disprove that. There are some charms to check if two people are closely related and they work when muggles are involved, but they only give yes/no answer. You don't have to worry about it as you are related to Black family through your grandmother and that's the cover story we are using."
"Let's go with this plan then. Ted, check prices of farms in mundane world, see how much effective they are and how much land we will need to feed entire Magical Britain. When you get that numbers we will know how many Galleons we have to convert to gold to fund this."
"We will have to buy whole supply chain, fortunately it doesn't have to be big, whole Magical Britain has less than 50 thousand people. I will also check if it won't be cheaper to build entire industrial complex from scratch, with magical construction teams we can make buildings very fast, we will only need non-magical people when installing electricity and machinery."
"It could work, many goods like pumpkin juice, are not popular in non-magical world, it could be hard to find someone producing it in quantities we require. Now Harry I suggest you came up with 'Lord White' face, visit Leaky Cauldron and read Prophet to know what is going on. I know you don't care about politics and economy but as of now you cannot ignore them."
"Fine, fine. I will check Prophet to see what I missed, but don't expect me to be interested by it. I'm leaving business side of things to you, leave mayhem and destruction to me muahahahahaha!"
"Honey, remind me why did we join insane Dark Lord again?" Ted asked his wife after they left Harry's room.
"Family tradition Ted, Nymphadora and Sirius joined Dumbledore, Bella and Cissy joined Voldemort. I didn't want us to be left out."
"You are kidding right? Right?"
"Ted, Harry raided Gringotts and blew up Hogwarts. Right now he is probably thinking new ways to blow up Hogwarts... again. The three of us are plotting how to overthrow government, if that doesn't make him Dark Lord I don't know what does."
"Well... but I still think that evil laugh was bit too much."
"Oh please, don't tell me you never wanted to laugh like that when one of your plots came to fruition."
"Well... maybe once or twice."
Next day Harry was ready to visit Leaky Cauldron as Lord White, he took face of handsome (at least according to several females he asked) twenty five year old. He kept his spiky white hair as it didn't cover his eyes. He was wearing casual mundane clothing to keep up with his 'living among muggles' image, true no one knew him right now but it should change after several weeks. He asked Tom for several older editions of Daily Prophet, ordered meal and started reading.
According to Prophet British Ministry seized Gringots shortly after it was abandoned, people didn't notice as everyone was more interested in his wedding. After the wedding various Goblin banks teamed up and bought back Gringotts from Ministry for horrendous amount of money, according to Prophet speculations Minister didn't want to sell so he gave the price that Goblins won't pay. When asked Goblin bankers claimed that they needed Gringotts to understand how Lord Nabilius managed to breach their security, with Ministry running around the bank it was impossible. That was the official story, speculations ran wild from saying that Gringotts is foothold in case of Goblin invasion to claiming that the robbery never took place and all the gold is hidden at the bank and Goblins now want to safely get it from there. After getting the money Ministry announced rebuilding Hogwarts. Due to size of castle rebuilding will take nearly a year but enough will be done to start classes at October 1st. Other projects included another round of Tri-Wizard Tournament, organizing Quidditch cup, digging two or three new levels for Ministry building and few large parties. Unsurprisingly none of those funds were meant for Aurors or St Mungos.
From other news people were still guessing identity of The New Chosen One(tm), there was even pool in Prophet with various candidates and current odds. Hermione was listed with 150 to 1 odds, Harry decided to put thousand Galleons on her, it will lower the odds but he should still get twenty or thirty thousand from that bet. Besides that there were speculations about his whereabouts after wedding, none of the were true but Harry liked the one where he escaped to France and lived with pack of veela. After lunch he went to Prophet and put the bet on Hermione, odds only lowered to 120 to 1, easy money. He spent rest of the day walking around Diagon Alley acting like a tourist... again. Due to various problems last time he had a chance to walk around like this was before his 3rd year when only person trying to kill him was escapee mass murderer.
When evening came Harry decided to visit Knocturn Alley and see if Hermione was in one of local brothels, Dumbledore probably sold her to more expensive one and that's where Harry went after changing his appearance. Inside he found matron and was given large book with pictures of girls working there doing many improper things, Hermione was among them listed as very talented muggleborn that 'joined' in recent weeks, prices for her services were quite high, but Harry had money.
One of the girls had led Harry to room and told him that Hermione will join him in a moment, while waiting Harry started checking for monitoring charms, he found some and dispelled them using overpowered Finite Incantem. That charm can undo pretty much any spell, only question was how much power is needed to to that. For weaker wizards more specialist charms were necessary, Harry had enough power to spare and little time to learn many charms, hence he learned how to overpower his spells. After removing those charms he hit most of the room with area Finite Incantem, some furniture changed from fancy looking ones to plain ones, apparently they were under effect of permanent transfiguration.
Hermione arrived wearing only collar on her neck. At this moment Harry noticed that some girls in the book he saw were wearing collars.
"You are under Imperius?"
"Yes, Master." She was speaking in monotone.
"Who cast the spell?"
"Dumbledore, Master."
"Really? What happened?"
"He told me that there was new prophecy and I need to sacrifice my freedom to save Britain from Lord Nabilius, he told me that I have to do that for the Greater Good. When I refused he took out his wand and cast Imperius on me, Master."
"Bit anticlimactic, don't you think?"
"Yes, Master."
"Well, he was probably pressed for time, many people heard prophecy and while Prophet still doesn't know who The New Chosen One ™ is, Dumbledore didn't want to risk you doing something. You would figure out the Prophecy in no time and could leave knowing how it would affect you."
Hermione was silent, Harry didn't ask a question and she was ordered to only speak when spoken to.
"So Hermione... how does it feel to be on the receiving end of the Prophecy?"
Hermione eyes widened when she realized who she was speaking with. "It's not very fun, Master Harry. I like being ordered around but sex with old purebloods disgust me."
"Tell me, how do you feel about our beloved Headmaster? He wasn't afraid of using Unforgivable curses to achieve his Greater Good, most likely it wasn't his first time. Sirius dueling Bellatrix in front of Veil and taunting her rather that casting spells doesn't strike me as behavior of experienced Auror and veteran of last war and that's only top of the iceberg."
"I think his Greater Good is only good for Dumbledore, Master."
"I could get used to that. No nagging about learning, no constant reminders that Dumbledore knows what he is doing and that we should listen to him, by the way when did you betrayed me and started informing Dumbledore about everything I did?"
"Before my third year, Master. Dumbledore asked me to help him guide you and protect you from going Dark, when I wasn't agreeing he sweetened the deal with Time Turner."
"Hmm... quite right, I doubt that McGonagall would be able to convince Department of Mysteries to lend Time Turned to thirteen year old muggleborn. If such request was done by Dumbledore they would trip themselves over to please him. I'm not very interested in what you reported over the years, the fact that we are in this situation means you didn't tell him anything important. I am still curious about something, in our seventh year you were constantly nagging me to learn dozens of spells that could help me in a fight, most of them were quite useless, either incantation was long or effect could be achieved by something simpler. Why use separate dispelling spell when Finite Incantem works fine on target? Why bother with overcomplicated and long bombardment course when overpowered Reducto can do the job just fine?"
"It was done on Dumbledore orders, Master. He told me that those spells are very useful and would help you in a fight, I learned all of them."
"And it didn't occur to you that they are crap?"
"No, Master. Dumbledore told the that they are top notch dueling spells, at that point I saw no reason to distrust him."
"Now look where trusting that old fool got you, true it was me who made that prophecy but if you were honest with me I wouldn't have to create it or at least I would have someone else targeted... maybe Neville? He missed his chance with Voldemort, why not give him a second one? Never mind, how much time it will take you to break Imperius?"
"Eight to twelve months, Master."
"And your owner isn't doing anything to prevent that?"
"No, Master. They think it's impossible to resist Imperius and did not asked me if I could at any point in time do that."
"'Everyone knows that' so it has to be true, how typical. Now I didn't came here to gloat, true I like to do it and I couldn't do that in front of our old Headmaster. No, I came here to make you a proposal. You see I have this nice project going on and I need someone to help me, I have some allies but they have their own lives and responsibilities so I cannot always ask them for help. That's why I propose you a nice deal, I will use a blood ritual to bond you to me as a slave, don't worry I do not need mindless toy, I only need that so you will be loyal to me and I won't make it permanent... Five years, that's how long you were spying on me. You will have salary and even a place to live... as soon as I get one, what? I'm living in hotel right now, five star hotel but still a hotel. When our time together ends I will require oath to ensure you won't tell secrets you learned during work and I will provide you with nice bonus so you can start a life somewhere. I will warn you now that sex will be included, I lied when I said that I think of you as my sister, you are indeed a very lovely woman that I had many fantasies about. Obviously if you refuse I will Obliviate you and then have some fun, I payed for that you know. When you free yourself I will leave you alone, one year is less than I had to spend in Dursley's care, but given what kind of services you have to provide I will call it even. So what's your answer?"
"I will join you, Master."
"Splendid. Stay here, I will go to your matron to negotiate a price."
Negotiations were easy, at first matron didn't wish to speak about selling Hermione, then Harry put a bag with ten thousand Galleons on table, matron become interested which caused Harry to put second bag and when he put third bag she agreed to sell immediately. Harry told her he will need a day or two to prepare room for Hermione so he will leave her there for that time, she was not supposed to work during this time, another two hundred Galleons secured matron compliance. He informed Hermione about agreement and left to visit Andromeda, he needed her help in those rituals.
While many people would be shocked at such treatment of a fellow human being, Andromeda only nodded and went to buy ingredients required in ritual, even Ted wasn't much shocked, Harry only heard him muttering something about Dark Lords and harems...
Next day Harry took Hermione and went to same harbor they used before. After short trip they traveled far enough for apparition to not work, for some reason it was impossible to apparate over large bodies of water. Without apparition Hermione had nowhere to run and so Harry removed Imperius from her.
Hermione jumped at Harry with fists "You bastard! Do you know what did I go through?" Before she could do any damage Harry grabbed her, twisted her arm and dropped her on the deck.
"Know? No. Suspect? Yes. I wouldn't go with this plan if all it did was slightly inconvenience you."
"How could you do this to me? I thought we were friends!"
"How? It was quite easy, some polijuice bought from Knocturn Alley, Trelawney's hair, voice changing charm and place where Dumbledore is. Despite being master manipulator and politician he is quite gullible when it comes to prophecies or maybe he didn't want somebody else to take the glory for killing another Dark Lord? Who knows."
"But why? Why would you do something like this to me?"
"Revenge my dear. You were Dumbledore little spy for five years, you deliberately gave me useless spells and didn't bother to mention that there are books on Occlumency in restricted section, heck you didn't even mention that you have pass to restricted section, was that reward for spying on me? I doubt that Dumbledore would allow such thing for anyone else."
Ted decided to join their little argument "Hermione, what do you know about magical laws? Nothing probably, or enough to not get expelled. You see, what you did is punishable by our laws, spying on Lord with seats in Wizengamot is severe offense if done by muggleborn, your friend Ronald would get away with small fine because he is pureblood while best case scenario for you would couple decades in Azkaban, worst case? You could spend rest of your life in that brothel. Everything according to our laws, all Harry had to do was inform DMLE about your actions. Do not think that Dumbledore would protect you, he sees you as an expendable pawn."
"What? Who could make such laws? It's horrible."
"Purebloods, so what will it be? Are you going with that ritual or should we drop you off and inform DMLE about your little affair?"
Hermione was defeated, with limited choices she went for lesser evil. "Fine, I agree."
Harry helped her to get up and asked Andromeda what they are supposed to do.
"Again, it's quite simple. I have made a potion, you both put three drops of blood in it, make sure it's three, more will cause ritual to be permanent while less will made effect less than perfect."
Hermione frowned. "How can you make mind control less than perfect?"
"With one or two drops you could try to creatively interpret Harry's orders, cause him indirect harm or simply slack off. With three you will have to work for him to the best of your ability. After you add blood you will read this." Andromeda handed both Harry and Hermione papers with short incantation. "Hermione goes first, then Harry."
They stood inside circle. Andromeda cut her finger and several drops of blood landed on drawings.
"Why did you do that?" Hermione asked .
"Because we don't want all magic detectors in western Europe to go crazy. Now add your blood and start reading this."
"I Hermione Jane Granger swear on my life to serve and protect Harry James Potter to the best of my ability until he releases me from my oath."
"I Harry James Potter accept service of Hermione Jane Granger as my vassal." The potion started glowing white and vaporized within seconds.
"Congratulations, I pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride Harry."
"WHAT?"
Ted started explaining "Well, this is so called magical marriage, now vows are different but idea is the same, man is lord and female is his vassal, although marriage vows do not have that escape clause so I might be wrong."
"I can't be married! I didn't have a career, I don't have any masteries." She noticed that everyone was chuckling. "That was a joke right?" Besides Hermione everyone was laughing.
After a while Ted managed to stop to the point when he could speak. "Gryffindors, no wonder Dumbledore can feed you any lie and you come back for more. By the way, the whole 'spying on Harry is crime' was also a lie, there is law like that but Harry would have to work in his official capacity as a Lord for that law to apply."
"How could you do that to me? You were Hufflepuff!"
"Our houses don't define us Hermione, Pettigrew was Gryffindor and look how he ended up. Claiming that one minor event in our childhood shapes our entire personality is silly."
"Hermione, you can get mastery, I won't stop you from that. And you can have a carrier, we could buy one from French, it's not that they will ever use it, and bomb pureblood's mansions with aircraft and gunships. Also if you are interested you can obtain some rare and unique abilities while working for me... would you like to be Methamorphmagus? It would certainly help if no one knew your true identity while working for me, I won't be acting as Harry Potter in public now."
"A career Harry, like a chosen pursuit; a profession or occupation. Not an aircraft carrier." Hermione looked at him.
"I knew that." He tried to reassure her.
"Of course you did, As for Methamorphmagus, you have to be born with that ability, Nymphadora said..." Hermione started her lecture mode, but before she could explain Andromeda interrupted her.
"My daughter used blood magic to gain this ability when she was twelve, people at Hogwart were bullying her because her true form looks like Bellatrix Lestrange. We told everyone that she 'awakened her abilities' because blood magic is illegal, now we are exploiting loophole so there is no problem. Besides Methamorph you can become animagus without all that annoying meditation, potions and whole 'turn parts of your body into your animal' thing. There are many more rituals, you can use one to gain instant telepathic communication between people, this is where whole Soul Bonds myth originates. You can get ability to see magic, turn into shadow, improved apparition where you don't risk splinching yourself and many more. How do you think Voldemort gained ability to turn into black smoke and fly around? Blood rituals." Andromeda finished her explanation and looked at Hermione to see two huge puppy eyes looking at her. "Harry?"
"Yes... you can learn all that, I planned to give you all the books I got to organize them. After stealing Hogwarts library, Dumbledore personal library and several others I have more books than I will ever need."
"Can we go back now? I want to start organizing the library." Hermione was jumping from excitement.
"What about second ritual?" Andromeda asked.
"Oh, will it take much time?"
"Two minutes, then you will have to learn how to control changing."
"Wow, it's fast..."
"My twelve year old daughter managed to do it alone without my help."
"Why wasn't more Methamorphmagus in your family?"
"Chameleon blood is quite rare in Magical World, in mundane world you can find chameleons in a Zoo..."
Andromeda helped Hermione and when they finished Ted turned yacht toward London. Hermione was sitting and quietly mumbling about all those books and how she will organize them going through pros and cons of various library organization systems. Harry on the other hand had a new idea.
"Andromeda, I was thinking. I will need a place to live and maybe using large yacht would be advantageous, no apparition when you are on sea, no one will notice anything unusual when we leave for a while to do some rituals and we won't have to rent boat every time we wish to do something."
"We can even put it under Fidelius." Hermione added when she heard that. "What? The charm might work on large boats, there is minimum and maximum size of objects you can hide and target can't have active wards because Fidelius will disable them. We could..." Ted tried interrupting her several times until finally shouting her name made her to stop.
"Is she always that bad? Never mind, we can't use Fidelius. How do you think we will enter port if no one can see us? Not to mention that Fidelius might not work on mundane detection methods like radars, we could even start new Flying Dutchman myth."
"Oh... I didn't think of that."
"While yacht can be useful as a mobile base of operations and home we will also need some office for our business. Would you like to buy one or order it to be build? Japan has a shipyard that uses magic to speed up building and they are building modern ships from modern materials with enhancements rather than ships from Age of Sails you could expect from ICW contractors."
"Ted, how do you know so much about this?"
"What? Can't I have hobby? Why do you think I got license to use this ship? Andi, now that I think about it we also have some Galleons, we can sell them in mundane world and get ourselves a yacht."
"What do you mean sell Galleons in mundane world? You cannot do that, there are enhancements on them and Statue of Secrecy..." Everyone was laughing at Hermione's words, Ted only uttered 'Gryffindors' and went back to steering ship. Andromeda went to explain poor Hermione what they are doing and how they are doing that. Harry went to Ted and started discussing parameters of their yachts, they agreed that making two same ships will make things easier as Harry wasn't as knowledgeable about yachts as Ted, he only wanted one and had money to get it. Both men heard shouts from Hermione 'HE is Lord Nabilius?' or 'He did WHAT?', the second one repeated itself several times.
Hermione started living in Harry's apartment. If hotel had any objections they kept them for themselves due to Harry's seven digit bank account. Most of the time she was training her new ability and preparing business plan for their new company. She pointed out that land in United Kingdom is expensive and with cheap sea transport they can start farms outside country, presumably somewhere in Eastern Europe where farms are closing due to changes in local economy after fall of Soviet Union. They should still keep all production in Britain due to mundane export-import rights. Harry wasn't much interested in details and told her to do best and make it work.
Harry on the other hand checked when is the nearest Wizengamot meeting and started preparing for it. He went to Knocturn Alley to purchase yet another wand, this time he used hie new identity of Castor White. Besides wand he got himself professional wand holster and set of poisoned knives just in case. After getting weapons it was time to get proper attire.
Harry as Castor went to large shopping mall and shoved girl working there a picture, from her reaction Harry aka Castor figured out that she recognized the person on the picture. He told her to get him such outfit, she looked at him and nodded. After three hours of walking around Harry got all the clothes he wanted, good thing that no pureblood will recognize that he is essentially cosplaying.
Next Wednesday Harry was ready, Wizengamot session was starting at 10am and Harry decided to be fashionably late and have his grand entrance. Hermione even found a charm to make a cloak billow!
He arrived to Ministry and ordered personnel to guide him to guide him to Wizengamot meeting. Ministry employees did nothing, but as soon as he showed his ring they were nearly killing themselves over right to guide him around. Harry was only ten minutes late when he opened doors to Wizengamot chambers with a kick. Everyone inside saw person wearing a charcoal suit, leather riding boots, a red cravat, and a long red duster. He was also wearing a red fedora with a wide, floppy brim and a pair of circular, wire-framed sunglasses. (A/N Yes, Harry is dressed like Alucard from Hellsing.)
"Hi everyone. Bailiff show me my seat." Harry walked in and spoke to the Minister. Everyone inside started talking, Harry saw some familiar faces, besides Malfoy's Inbreeds he saw Neville, Arthur Weasley, Susan Bones and several other people who he saw at Hogwarts but didn't remember their names. Some of them were sitting with parents or guardians and some like Neville or Susan were alone.
"Hey, bailiff do your job or I will ask the Minister to fire you!" Harry was truly enjoying this.
"You arrogant brat, I am the Minister! I will have you arrested and thrown into Azkaban for this insult!" Pissing off Minister, check.
"Wow, you people are so poor that Minister has second job as bailiff? Damn, I didn't think that destruction of one bank would hit you that hard."
This time it was Dumbledore who spoke. "My boy, this person is indeed the Minister and he is not working as bailiff, we do not have one in this chamber."
"I am sorry Minister, I thought that by sitting next to this guy in center you are the bailiff. It makes some sense to make bailiff sit in center so he can see entire chamber and keep order. By the way, I do not swing that way mister bailiff so please do not call me 'your boy', people might misunderstand." Minister only smirked, Dumbledore on the other hand was becoming angry.
"Young man, do you know who I am?" Pissing off Dumbledore, check.
"A bailiff? No? Then sorry, I do not know."
"I am Chief Warlock Albus Percival Brian Wulfric Dumbledore."
"Which one is your name and which is your title?" Dumbledore was close to explode.
"My title is Chief Warlock, and my name is..."
Harry raised his hand. "Don't repeat it, we do not have all day. And you are a chief? You people are still divided into tribes? So Wizengamot is just fancy Tribal Council? I thought that Magical Britain has... well not modern, but at least not centuries outdated political system." This caused nearly entire chamber to become outraged, it was fine with them when Dumbledore and Scrimgeour were ridiculed.
Some older man shouted to arrest Harry immediately. Piss off Wizengamot, check.
"Young man, who do you think you are to enter this sacred chamber and insult everyone inside?"
"Castro White, forty something Lord Black, I even have this cool ring." Harry shoved everyone his hand where they could see Lord Black's family ring.
"Mister White, current Lord Black is Harry Potter. I do not know how you got this ring but I am sure it was done by illegal means and I will have to order Aurors to arrest you."
"And I don't care Chief, order your Auroras to arrest me, heck you can even order them to do belly dance in which case I hope you have some cute females there. As long as I have this cool ring I can shoot first as questions later, do you HAVE enough Auroras to apprehend me?" Good thing Harry got himself two illegal guns earlier, well illegal on mundane side. "So where is my seat? There?" Harry noticed a place with his fake name on it.
When Harry was going to his seat, 'accidentally' elbowing Lucius Malfoy on the way, Dumbledore and Scrimgeour were discussing new turn of events. Scrimgeour wanted him arrested but Dumbledore pointed out that Harry's words were true – only way to arrest him now is to have vote in Wizengamot and while Harry insulted that body, he also insulted Dumbledore which will give him some support from Dark families, Neutrals on the other hand liked when he insulted Minister so it will be unlikely to get enough votes from Dumbledore supporters only. Even if they did pushed for that, he as a Lord could postpone vote for a month and bribe enough people to vote against it, so Dumbledore advised Minister to ignore annoying boy, he won't do anything alone and to get allies he will need to behave.
Harry got to his place and sat. He put his legs on a desk in front of him and took out a book. He didn't recognize people he was sitting next to. One was middle aged blond guy, on the other side was some old guy who didn't even looked at Harry. Harry turned to the blond man.
"Hey, is this always boring like this? Chief speaking to Minister and ignoring the rest of us? Oh, sorry. I didn't introduce myself, Castor White current Lord Black... or should it be Lord White now?" Harry held out his hand toward blond man.
"Cyrus Greengrass." Cyrus shook his hand. "No, Chief Warlock usually doesn't ignore fellow Lords, I suspect he is trying to calm down the Minister to not order your arrest Lord... Black. Or White, it depends how you came into possession of your title. If you are related to the Black family you can change name of your lordship, if you just bought it from Potter you are stuck with Lord Black."
"Wow, I didn't know that. How do I go about changing the name? My grandmother was non-magical and was kicked out from Black family so I think I qualify as related."
"Well then, all you have to do is inform Wizengamot during a formal session about the change. Some people might demand proof that you are related to Black family and with Gringotts records gone it might be difficult to provide such evidence."
Dumbledore has finished his argument with Scrimgeour and restarted proceedings.
"Lord and Ladies, please cease your discussions and return to next point of our session before we were... interrupted. Is there anyone wishing to propose any new motions?" Dumbledore was looking at Harry, he didn't try Leglimency as Harry was wearing glasses with charm that stopped passive Leglimency.
"Uh yes, Chief Dumbledore. I wish to inform this illustrious body about change of name. Lordship known as Black shall be known henceforth as White. Anyone who wishes to dispute this shall step forward now or be silent forever." Whole hall was silent, no one was suspecting that Harry will say something serious. Silence didn't last long as one of the younger members started shouting.
"I won't allow that! This bastard comes to this sacred place, ridicules our sacred traditions and now he demands that? I shall not stand idle when our way of life is trampled by this mudblood. I Lord Draxus Nero Lestrange challenge so called 'lord' Castor White to honor duel! What will you do now mudblood?" Harry looked at shouting man. He looked like twenty something, he had hair similar to that of Bellatrix Lestrange and from his face Harry could see similarities to Rodolphus Lestrange.
"First of all Draxi, according to your own naming standards I am a half-blood as both my parents were magical. Secondly I accept."
"Fine! We shall fight tomorrow in Ministry's dueling hall!" Lestrange ended with a smirk on his face, Harry suspected that if he agreed to that he wouldn't be fighting Lestrange but some dueling champion under polijuice. That plan won't work.
"And look who is now trampling over your traditions. Isn't it my right to choose time and place? Don't you know your own traditions?" Lestrange smirk disappeared from his face as Harry continued. "I do not think we need to wait for the next day, I have my stick... wand I mean, with me and I am ready. What do you say about here and now for place and time? Scared?"
"I accept. I am not afraid of some upstart half-blood. To the death, no Unforgivables."
"And I wanted to let you live." Harry stepped onto his desk and jumping on desks he got to the center of chamber. "Come here Strange. This party suddenly became much more interesting."
Harry noticed that Dumbledore remained silent most likely expecting 'Castor' to die making lordship return to 'Harry' and by extension to Dumbledore. It was only logical explanation when person preaching forgiveness and nonlethal combat ignores people who will fight to the death in several moments.
Lestrange got down and stood there.
"Chief Warlock, please create proper dueling arena and secure it. I wouldn't want for … accidents to happen."
Dumbledore stood up and started muttering some spells. The central area was enlarged to about fifty meeter in diameter, height of walls increased from less than meeter to more than ten also all exits were gone.
"Lord Lestrange, protocol requires me to ask you to resolve that matter peacefully. Would you wish to do that?" Dumbledore didn't even pretend that he wants this matter resolved without bloodshed.
"If this half-blood gives his title to me and swears allegiance oath to Lord Lestrange I will consider this matter resolved."
"Lord White, what is your answer?"
"Killing curse is cheaper and faster, but as you are afraid of using them Reductor curse will have to be enough."
"Fine you half-blood bastard, EVERYTHING goes." Lestrange looked at Dumbledore. "I remind you Chief Warlock that honor duels between Lords are exempt from law about Unforgivable curses."
"Very well. My Lords, please stand in designated spots. I will fire red sparks which will be your signal to begin. After that only one of you will leave this arena."
Harry and young Lestrange entered area lighted by Dumbledore and waited. As this was not sporting duel but fight for life they both started with their wands and other weapons inside holsters. With everything goes both men could use any weapon they brought into arena, only rule was not using help from outside during fight.
Harry looked relaxed and even pretended to yawn several times. Lestrange was in some sort of dueling pose waiting for signal, his eyes wee also aimed at Harry the entire time. When Harry started playing with his nails Lestrange finally had enough.
"Stop that already! Dumbledore give the signal."
Dumbledore waited several seconds and fired red sparks.
Avada Kedavra
Lestrange started incantation and snapped his fingers, before he finished wand was in his hand and Killing Curse was flying in the arena. Harry lazily made a step to the right and started to walk, spell passed next to him harmresly. This enraged Lestrange even further and he started to fire one Killing Curse after another, all of them missed as no one ever taught Lestrange how to aim at a moving target. All spells were aimed at a point where Harry was at the moment of casting. Lestrange received training from dueling champion, in such fights opponents are standing in small circle and there is no such thing as a 'moving target', hence no training to hit one.
"You should play more Quake. Set up." One of activation methods of Harry's holster was voice, there were few others but Harry wanted to keep them secret.
When Lestrange slightly tired he switched to other spells, all were cast non verbally so Harry didn't even know what all those colored beams of light did. Harry was still walking around Lestrange and still didn't have to dodge or shield himself. After getting to opposite side of arena where he started Harry lost patience.
Reducto
Harry never understood
Reducto
those purebloods, they
Reducto
learn dozens of spells
Reducto
and use all of them
Reducto
during fight.
Reducto Reducto Reducto
All you
Reducto
truly need is
Reducto
one good spell that
Reducto
you can practice over
Reducto
and over
Reducto
again.
Reducto Reducto Reducto
The last one was too much and Lestrange shield failed him. He was tossed at the wall and fall on the ground. Another thing Harry never understood - only members Voldemort's Inner Circle ever dodged. Well, maybe he shouldn't be so harsh to them, after all due to the curse there was no good defense teacher in Hogwarts since seventies so there was no one to teach young generations those basic things like... dodging.
"What kind of wizard are you? Using only one spell? Did you even went to magical school?" In face of defeat Lestrange tried to anger Harry hoping for some mistake to exploit, unfortunately for him Harry had to live through seven years of Draco's taunts, he was now nearly immune to that.
"Hmm... now that I think of it... no I did not went to magical school, in US you can skip a magical school and only attend some magical summer camps if you do not wish to live in the Magical World."
"Ha! Primitives, you can't even afford proper magical education. Did you learn this spell through a correspondence course?" He tried to laugh but it's hard to do that with several broken ribs.
"Curses! You exposed my secret source of magical knowledge! Now I will have to kill you."
"Reductor curse again? You thi..."
Avada Kedavra
Lord Draxus Nero Lestrange was dead. "See? I know two spells."
Reducto Reducto Reducto
"What are you doing Lord White?"
"Making sure Chief Dumbledore. You British have that weird ability to not always die when hit by Killing Curse." Harry walked to Lestrange's body and kicked him several times. "Yup, he's dead."
"So, anyone else doesn't like that I changed the name of Black lordship? No? If I knew that there is so much fun during those sessions I would come here as soon as I got my title."
Entire chamber was silent.
()()()
On the other side of the Earth certain person started laughing maniacally.
"Muahahahahaha... MUAHAHAHAHAHA...MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"
()()()
Author Notes
1. In this fic Dark Magic doesn't have any psychological effects on it's users.
2. 99% wizards are incompetent in combat, with one good DADA teacher every six years (and said teacher was deatheater in disguise) how can ANYONE not get killed in first seconds of a real fight?
3. Killing Curse sucks. It's not a battle spell, 6 syllables and a PAUSE, you could throw 2 reductors at someone as you do not need pause between them. In some fic I read that Voldie fires off AK in 0,5 sec... does this mean that most powerful wizards would auctioneers? They speak very VERY fast.
4. Why Reducto only? As certain martial artist said "I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks once. But I fear the man who has practiced one kick ten thousand times."
5. Blood magic is supposed to be overpowered, that's the real reason government banned it.