Part 11
Belle has never shared a bed with anyone in one way or another. She imagined that it would be quite awkward to do so, if only for the novelty of having someone so close to her throughout the night. She presumed that another person's nearness – a man's nearness – would make her too restless to lay still throughout the night, let alone actually sleep.
But before a minute has passed, she can tell that there'll be nothing easier than lying calmly at Rumplestiltskin's side. His physical closeness causes more sensations and emotions than she can possibly process all at once, but none of the kind she anticipated whenever she imagined a moment of this kind.
No matter how tired she was before going to bed and no matter how peaceful the situation turns out to be, Belle finds herself incapable of falling sleep now that she finally has the chance to do so. She doesn't know whether it's due to the particularly eventful day she has had or because of the fact that her True Love is truly hers once more, but she is as awake as she's ever been.
She isn't bothered by it at all. In fact, with Rumplestiltskin so very close to her for the very first time, she is more pleased than anything else by her wakefulness. All of this is so wonderful and new that she can't help but yearn to experience more of it.
She supposes that they have all the time in the world from now on and she is very much aware that they have already more than enough exploring of one another for a single day, but Belle is admittedly still quite impatient to get to know him a little better in this whole new way.
Rumplestiltskin's eyes are closed, but his breath is too shallow and irregular for him to be sleeping. She smiles a little at the discovery that he appears to be quite keen to be awake for the time being as well.
Her hand is resting somewhat uncomfortably at her side, which makes it only easier for her to decide to get yet closer to Rumplestiltskin. She isn't sure whether this is a good idea however, whether her touch is welcome at this moment. She has no clue whether he appreciates her reaching out for him the way she plans to and, more than that, she isn't quite certain how to achieve more nearness to begin with.
But they have come so far already, have made such progress within the course of just half a day. They have become closer in every sense of the word, have started to truly get to know each other in every way possible, and this won't be an exception.
She gingerly places her hand on his chest, not deterred when he tenses once more. It pains her to learn that Rumplestiltskin has become so unaccustomed to touches - or possibly has always been, which is something which she can't bring herself to consider just yet - and she is determined to make an end to that.
She smiles when he relaxes after a few seconds, a slight quickening of his breath the only remaining indication that he's aware of what she's doing.
Then it's Belle's turn to hesitate. Much as she'd like to touch him, just slightly more carefully and innocently than they have done so far, she doesn't really know what exactly she's doing. The mere sensation of his silk nightshirt beneath her palm, his hard chest right underneath it, is unlike anything she has ever known.
It was both strange and exhilaration to touch him like this just a few hours ago, in the main hall next to the blazing fire. But in her room, in bed, it's much more so. It's as real as it was before, as delightful, but with an increased sense of intimacy that even her bold touches didn't bring before.
Belle has never shied away from an adventure, and the mystery of the man at her side is probably the best one she'll ever know. Now that the trust and understanding has increased to a level that would have seemed impossible until a day ago, she isn't going to shy away from him in any way anymore.
Belle moves her hand experimentally, letting it find its way upwards, purposefully moving her fingers over his nightshirt as lightly as she can. Only when he makes a soft noise of the same kind as they did when touching in the kitchen and main hall, it dawns on her that she's all but caressing his chest.
The smile on her face turning rather wicked, she does it again, purposefully applying a little more pressure. She is mindful of the way this escalated before, but she supposes that it's different now that she isn't actually touching his skin.
The resulting sound which she draws from him has her questioning that assumption. Apparently, he likes being touched by her like this almost just as much as when there is no fabric to separate their skin... as if he savors each kind of touch from her with the same intensity.
She makes a mental note of this discovery, more than intend on exploring this in more detail in the near future. For now, she doesn't want to get both of them all... excited for the third time in mere hours. With some reluctance, she discontinues her exploration of him.
Instead, her hand comes to rest above his heart, its beat firm and rapid. Awed, she happily lets her palm lie right there. Rumplestiltskin covers it with his own free hand, wordlessly encouraging her to let her stay just like that.
Becoming already more familiar with his body and the way hers fits against it, Belle figures out yet another way to decrease the remaining distance between them. Shifting lightly and hushing him as he all but whimpers in protest at the sudden distance between them, she curves her body more firmly against him and moves her head between the crook of his shoulder and his neck.
His by now increasingly familiar scent envelops her again. Her nose directly against his skin, she closes her eyes and breathes in deeply, sighing with appreciation at the smell of leather and parchment and straw, and all those other things which are part of his life... of their life. She smiles against his neck, knowing that she'll wake up with this – live with this – for the rest of her life.
Belle remains lying still after that, perfectly comfortable and at ease, a peacefulness which she never quite knew before settling over her. She still isn't all that tired yet, for which she is only more grateful now that just being together like this is turning out to be more intriguing than any book she can recall.
Especially when his breath becomes deeper and more regular, the beat of his heart slowing down a little as well, she is more than happy just to be there with him, to experience the changes of his body.
Her smile against the skin of his neck broadens at the knowledge that he is falling asleep. Whether he intended to or not, it means a lot to her that he lets her see him like this, as vulnerable and defenseless as he can be. The fact that he finds sleep so easily poses the question just how much – or rather, how little – he has rested since she left, but she is soothed by the expectation that Rumplestiltskin will spend much more time in bed than he used to now that she has returned.
He mutters in his sleep, some words unintelligible but others clearly her name, expressing the love he feels for her. Belle already knows for certain at this point that their love is mutual, but it strengthens her heart nonetheless to hear him like this, subconsciously repeating his promises of love and affection while he is completely unguarded.
His words become louder, almost pained, confirming that he wasn't exaggerating in the slightest when he told her just how much he missed her, that he would be lost without her... wouldn't be able to live.
She understands now why he hasn't slept since she left him. If he's like this while she is right next to him, she can barely bring herself to imagine what it would be like if he were to think that they would never have this... that they would never have seen each other again.
There are other things though, so many other things to haunt him as he drifts into her sleep, becoming only more restless as he does so. There are other names, so many of them, names of people and places and things she doesn't understand.
He mutters in his sleep and probably would be tossing and turning quite violently if her embrace wouldn't prevent him from doing so.
She recalls that he worked throughout the night more often than not even when she just began working for him and they barely knew one another, when she wasn't featured in his nightmares yet.
Belle wonders whether it has always have been like this for him. She can only hope that it hasn't, but even if that were to be the case, he might as well not remember it.
She doesn't dare imagine what else plagues him at night, when he succumbs to the darkness of sleep at last. She might not know the nightmares of the Dark One, but he doesn't have to face them alone any longer.
She caresses his side, lightly enough not to wake him and firmly enough to ensure that a subconscious part of him becomes aware of her touch. Rumplestiltskin whimpers in response, tightening his hold on her. His fingers are splayed over the small of her back, seemingly wanting to touch as much of her as he can to reassure himself also in his current state that she is actually with him.
Belle mutters words of support and encouragement, relieved when he calms down almost immediately, the movements of his lips and body alike mostly ceasing. She closes her own eyes again as he drifts into a more quiet and peaceful sleep, awaiting the moment that sleep overtakes her as well and marveling at the bright future ahead of her in the mean time.
It's nothing but a certainty to her that not all nights will end like this. There will be a time that his past and future doesn't haunt him every moment, either awake or asleep. She'll be there with every step and when the time is right, they won't be holding onto one another to silence his nightmares.
With Rumplestiltskin sleeping soundlessly at her side, his hand never leaving her waist, it's only too easy to think of other things that they might do in this very bed, things that couldn't differ more from fear and discomfort.
Due to the wicked wanderings of her mind as she dares to imagine what else the two of them could do in the very bed they are currently resting in, Belle assumes at first that his hand is only moving in her fantasy. Yet, there is nothing imaginary about the way he shifts against her and his actual fingers dig into her hip.
He turns on his side, his face coming so closely to hers that their noses are almost brushing. Before they do, before she can wonder what might happen if their lips were to touch accidentally, he rolls her over with a strength she always presumed he had but never experienced at his hands before. She ends up on her stomach, with him half on top of her.
Belle tenses at the unexpectedness of it all. She trusts him more than anything or anyone else and she doesn't fear his intimate touch in the slightest. If anything, she is looking forward to it very much indeed.
But this isn't what she envisaged when she allowed herself to wonder just a minute ago, and they agreed that tonight was too early to do anything but rest together. Of course, he actually warned her for something exactly like this. She may not have thought him capable of going too far accidentally, when the control he holds over himself wanes in his sleep, but Belle isn't entirely certain of this any longer.
He is pushing against her, guiding her onto her other side and growling lowly as he does so. He pulls her flush against him, his front pressed against her back from their toes to the crown of their heads. One of his arms comes to rest across her waist, like an iron band holding her tightly against his chest.
She is about to wake him, just in case this might lead to something they'll regret later, but he goes still again before she can do so.
He mutters her name with a contentedness that has her sighing with happiness and couldn't differ more from his earlier distress, just like the yet more pronounced sensation of his breath against her neck.
Belle relaxes again immediately, very pleased to notice that Rumplestiltskin remains peaceful. Throughout the following minutes, she becomes more at ease than she was at any point during the day... or at any day since the ogres made an end to her peaceful and pleasant childhood, years earlier than it should have been.
It's clear to her now that whatever inhibitions which prevented him from giving in to his desire for her through the day are somewhat lowered in his sleep. But Belle doesn't mind in the slightest. Everyone from her old life would be shocked at the very least if they were to see her like this, intimately held by a man who she isn't married to or even engaged with.
They probably wouldn't consider Rumplestiltskin to be a man at all, his reputation as gruesome as it is at least partly unjustified. But none of that matters for the night, not when there is nothing but happiness in her closeness to her True Love.
Indeed, Belle is in bed with the most feared man of all the lands, his entire body wrapped possessively around hers, and there's nowhere she'd rather be.
The End
Thanks very much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story. I've got a few other Rumbelle fics coming up - keep an eye out for them ;)