A/N: Please enjoy your reading and take a moment to share your thoughts on the second chapter.
Moonlight Reminiscence
Chapter 2
Gilbert caught the other man's kinder features. It was different, but nice seeing him like this. He listened intently to the other, as if he was but a small mouse you had to be really quiet to hear. He felt the intensity and truthfulness in the Russian's voice. And by pure chance, he actually let a quiet gasp escape his vocal cords, but quickly repressed it.
"...You admire me?" He smiled, but quickly hid it out of embarrassment, not used to being admired. "That's strange...Βut you're right, we never did have many chances to enjoy peace together." He looked up at the moon before looking back at Ivan. "Besides the treaty, the marriage between two of our royalties and a few agreements between the wars really wasn't much. Before the second World War...I..."
He sighed deeply, not being so used to talking about these things so freely. "I honestly did think we had the chance to become allies, but it never happened. War kept straining things. I don't suppose it would be stranger if I said that, in a way I've also admired you? Always from afar but..." He frowned lightly, now becoming more quiet.
When Gilbert mentioned the marriage between their royalties, Ivan's heart beat a little faster. "The marriage between Charlotte and Nicholas [1] is one of the best memories I have. Although their bond was viewed with suspicion, I believe they really loved each other. And whenever I saw them..."
Ivan felt a bit unsure if he should continue. His violet eyes gazed into Gilbert's for a brief but intense moment, looking for some sort of silent encouragement. "Whenever I saw them, I wondered if us, personifications, are capable of forming such strong bonds. I need to know Gilbert...Can we love or not? Treaties and alliances are prone to be abandoned. But what about love?"
Gilbert listened as Ivan had a sudden interest in the subject of marriage. He started thinking slowly about what Ivan was saying. He wondered as well and after the Russian finished talking, Gilbert looked at him and shrugged.
"I don't know..." He took in a deep breath, almost as if trying to keep himself from letting Ivan know how he thought. "I'd like to think that. Treaties and territories are important but I think...I'd want to love." He sighed again, continuing. "Those two did always make me smile...But maybe it's just us. Maybe the others can love."
The Prussian suddenly thought about something, pertaining to their previous conversation about love. "Do you know what love is Ivan?...Do you want me to explain how I see it?"
Ivan did not hurry to answer. The questions caught him off guard and he kind of felt a little frightened- he wasn't sure why. "Yes, Gilbert. Tell me how you define love. Even if I am never destined to experience it like the married couple who sealed our alliance, I'd like to hear more about this emotion."
Gilbert twitched only slightly from the answer, a bit relieved inside that the other one said yes, but he didn't know why. His chest hurt a little. And he had no idea at all what could be causing it, knowing he didn't have a heart. He swallowed a bit before he smiled genuinely and softly began.
"...Love is something that's precious to you. It's something that you don't let others touch or hold it. Like your scarf...If I remember correctly, Yekaterina gave it to you, right? It's not just the scarf that's precious to you, it's your sister."
He didn't even wait for a response. "Love is trust..." He frowned, his voice wavering a little before finding it again and continuing. "Trust that allows someone to get close to you, close enough to let them touch those precious things that you love...close enough to share your feelings with each other." He swallowed and moved his gaze up at the moon, almost to avoid Ivan's eyes. "Love is...wanting to be near someone forever." He said quietly and continued gently again. "...Wanting to break down walls just to see them, even if it could hurt in the process."
Gilbert smiled, being happy he could tell Ivan what he was thinking. A sudden relief washed over him. He wondered though how exactly Ivan felt about the words he just said. He hoped that the Russian would understand what love was now and that he could feel happy, with whoever that he loved. A sick and twisted feeling welt up in his stomach and he didn't even look to the moon anymore. He tried to keep his gaze on Ivan, but his eyes flickered around here and there as they usually did- a habit of his. Eventually, he turned and locked his eyes back on Ivan's, regaining focus.
"It's just...I don't know why, but I feel so sure of this information. It is almost as if it's as clear as pure water and as bright and colourful as a painting of flower fields. As accurate as history. I don't know if I'm capable of love though. I understand it, but things are complicated, Ivan..." He bit his lip a little, but didn't let his gaze waver and instead kept it steady. "I don't know if you'll understand this but I really have looked up to you, for a long time..."
He let his smile fade away as he suddenly caught himself fumbling and losing his cool, not sure what the huge feeling in his chest was. He tried to decide whether to continue with his words or not. But he figured, why not? He had already opened up so much to the other...so, why not?
"You're actually the person who made things different. You changed my views and I don't only mean when you took over me after the second World War. I mean...you've been the one who's caused me to see these things, to find this understanding. It'd hard to describe correctly but...you always annoyed me but I enjoyed being around you when we weren't at each other's throats in war. And I always wished we could have been closer. I suppose...I..." He frowned and lost Ivan's gaze to stare at his hands, then at the moon. He felt physically unable to carry on with his statement.
Ivan was impressed and deeply touched by the words. An inner and almost intimidating warmth flooded his chest. He believed that he actually possessed the power to break down walls just to be with the one he loved. He realised that no matter how much it frightened him, Ivan wanted to trust someone special. It seemed to be a risk worth taking- at least that was how Gilbert made him feel.
"Still, I cannot forget that you felt hurt because of me." The Russian admitted quietly, but firmly. "Especially when I kept you away from your brother. Those older times when we didn't have to fight each other, feel like a dream now...And as I try to convince myself that they were real too, I feel some pain. But you have influenced my life a lot, Gilbert. You are an important part of my history."
Gilbert listened quietly to Ivan's depressing words at first, which seemed to turn into a happy understanding. He smiled though. In fact, he let out a relieved short laugh. But being still nervous, he focused his attention on the ground. He didn't notice the Russian moving closer until he felt the man's hands on his arms and then was pulled even closer. He looked up, even a second or so before Ivan leaned in and kissed his forehead. The Prussian didn't really move, or budge. He just stood there until Ivan's lips moved away from his forehead and he looked into those violet eyes.
"..." As he was going to say something, he suddenly lost his voice and looked down, frowning a little, almost as if out of embarrassment. "...Thank you." He finally said and looked up. He moved his arms up a little and held onto Ivan's side lightly. Gilbert could barely think. It was just that he was thinking so many things that he couldn't just think of one alone and register it.
Note: [1] Mention to Alexandra Feodorovna, also known as Princess Charlotte of Prussia, and her husband Tsar Nicholas I.
A/N: I'm happy with the positive reception to the first chapter and so is the co-writer :) Your reviews really mean a lot. Guest, I hope you enjoy the continuation too. ZodiacDOG101, thank you very much. Literacy is important in anything I share with fellow fans & writers, so I'm glad you found the writing appealing. Lucrecia84, It's so great to hear that you enjoyed the setting as well as the atmosphere of the story. Thank you!