A/N: Here is chapter 4. I have no real excuse for the lateness. This chapter has been drafted and ready for a while, but I just wasn't sure it was exactly what I wanted it to be. Oh well. It ends on a bit of a cliffhanger, so I will do my very best to post the next chapter as soon as it is finished, regardless of how I feel about it. Thank you very much for reading, and let me know what you think.

Arms crossed and head tilted to one side, Alex stood in the dimly lit x-ray room, glowering at the scan in front of him. Ellie Andersen, 7 years old, came to the hospital that evening with sudden slurred speech and loss of motion on the left side. He'd known this patient's prognosis was probably not very good, and he was damned if the scans he was looking at just made everything worse. Kid had a brain bleed. Which sucked for her. Which meant she needed emergency surgery. Which meant he'd not be going home slightly early as he planned. In fact, it meant Alex would be really late.

He leaned outside of the small x-ray room and gestured to one of his interns, "Dr. Lacey, page neuro right now, I need a consult."

When the young intern didn't move as quickly as Alex thought she could, Alex growled, "Sometime this year would be nice! MOVE!"

The frightened woman jumped and began to run, and Alex smirked to himself humorlessly. He figured that actually it was probably a good thing for him not to be going home early. Lately, it seemed everything was pissing him off. Not so good for keeping his fiancee calm. He'd fight with April about getting married. Or rather, he'd fight with her about getting married right now. About having a freaking wedding. It was like she just didn't get that Alex didn't really care what the deal was about getting married. Well, more he didn't care about the wedding part.

He'd go to the damn court house with her right now if she'd go for it. But no. Of course April wanted some traditional shindig with her family and cakes and everything. And she was trying to figure out if they could get out of Meredith's house. Alex didn't know why she was so fixated on crap like that. He thought they should really worry about the baby, and getting settled with that.

They just didn't have the money for the rest. Not yet. Not until they were full attendings at least. Hitting that point would give both of them a substantial pay increase, much bigger than the increase between being a resident and being a fellow. April was the one who was good with budgets. She should know that.

Granted, Alex did feel guilty that a lot of their budget actually had to go to his crap. They both still had med school loans, but the bulk of their finances went to dealing with his family. Paying for Aaron's care, his mom's nurse, and Amber's school. At first he hadn't really been willing to take April's help on the money side of things. You weren't supposed to need your girlfriend's help with that. But then they'd been shopping for Amber's first dorm room, and Alex had been about to say no to a mini fridge with a microwave, and April had just grabbed his hand and said she'd get it. That she didn't mind. So many things April didn't mind. He was freakin' lucky.

It still made Alex angry. April wanted a wedding and their own place. And right now, especially with the baby on the way? There was just no way they could afford everything. And that was all his fault. In the end, they probably would get stuck. His family and all their stuff would probably mess up the kid somehow. Damn it all.

His mood also wasn't helped by the fact that it looked like Lucy freakin' Fields would steal his thunder yet again. The grant money had been received, and the board wanted planning for the first phase of teaching to get underway in the coming summer. Smack dab in the middle of when Alex knew he'd be starting diaper duty. So, instead, for at least this phase, Jennings and the board had chosen to leave at least that first part of things in what the dude called "capable hands".

Traitorous shark is more like.

Having a kid was great and all, and Alex was looking forward to it. Mostly. It was just...it would have been easier if they'd gotten pregnant after he'd figured out the Africa project. Or after they'd had their wedding. Heck, after they'd finished paying for the stupid wedding...

But that wasn't to be, and even though all it seemed like all the crap was building up or whatever, when Alex he thought of the fuzzy images he'd seen on the ultra sound, his future giggly fiesty little girl, it was enough to make him forget about his worries. Mostly. He felt bad that he felt like he did. Alex was already turning out to be a crap Dad, resenting his kid before they'd even freakin' been born. He was no good.

His frustrations apparently hadn't disappeared enough that Mer didn't notice when she entered the room, Dr. Lacey in tow, and began scanning Ellie Anderson's X-rays.

"What have we got?"

"I think this kid's got a grade 3 brain bleed. Probably has had it for a while, slow going. She came in tonight and she's already lost motion on her left side and had slurred speech."

"Oh dear," Meredith sighed, reading through the chart. She turned to the young resident and shook her head, "Go get her prepped for surgery. Then talk to the parents. See if she had any blunt head traumas. Could be anything. Something small. She probably didn't even lose consciousness."

"Yes, ma'am," Lacey replied, quickly gathering the x-rays and charts and heading out of the small room.

Alex sighed in frustration, gathering up his copy of the chart and falling into step with Meredith as they headed to the OR.

"What's up with you, Alex?" she asked, looking at him skeptically as the scrubbed in.

"Nothing. Just another fine freakin' night at Seattle Grace Mercy Death!" he retorted sharply. "Whatever."

"No," Meredith replied firmly. "Not whatever. You've been in grumpy mode all day. Look, Dr. Lacey and I will handle this surgery if-"

"I can do a freakin' surgery! There are a lot of things I can't do right now, but pediatric surgery is not one of them."

Meredith raised an eyebrow, holding her sterile hands in front of her, "I see. So you're mad because you can't do something."

Alex glared and finished sterilizing his own hands, "I'm not-I don't wanna talk about it, okay?"

He moved to walk through the sliding glass doors that lead into the OR, but Mer blocked his way.

"I'm not gonna let you in my OR unless you agree to talk some of this out. You've been a terror for weeks."

What the hell was Meredith's problem? He couldn't believe she was threatening to take him off his own peds case. Calling it her OR! Hijacking his patient.

"That's my freakin' patient!"

"I know, and I think you'll be a much better doctor to her if you talk about what's bothering you," Mer said eying him closely. "I'll perform the procedure. Lacey can assist. You'll observe; give her the chance to fly on her own a bit. And we'll talk."

Alex scowled at his friend. Where did she get off telling him what to do? But Meredith left no room for arguments. He was determined to monitor his patient, even if he didn't assist on the procedure, and the only way Mer was gonna let him be involved was on the sidelines. Correction: yapping about his personal crap on the sidelines. Oh joy.

He sighed and relented with a small nod, following a now triumphant Meredith into the OR, where the patient was prepped and under. When Dr. Lacey rushed in, Mer began the procedure allowing the happy and surprised young doctor to make the first incision on the girl's head. Turned out Ellie had taken a spill from her bike earlier in the week. Lacey said that the parents hadn't thought it was much. They said their daughter had had way worse spills before. They always made her wear a helmet. She'd gotten up right away and kept riding her bike.

Alex shook his head. Just goes to show. Life, parenthood and the whole nine-yards. It was all a crap shoot. He sat, glaring with his arms crossed as Mer and his frreakin' intern did surgery on his patient.

"A little suction please Dr. Lacey," Meredith said calmly from behind her neurology set up. "Good. Now...you see that bleeder? We're going to use a direct lateral approach to cauterize after we drain the excess fluid. Do you know why we do that?"

"Uh," Lacey fumbled. "To avoid accidentally creating a fluid build up?"

"That's right," Mer was looking at him over the top of her flashy neuro glasses. "It's not good to let things build up. It can create a sudden rupture. Not so different from real life, huh, Alex?"

Rolling his eyes, Alex groaned. Okay, so he wasn't above admitting that Mer was like a sister to him. And he kind of...loved her and whatever. But sometimes, just like with his real sister, Meredith could really make him have the urge to punch something. For crying out loud. She was getting as bad as Bailey.

"Real subtle," he grumbled angrily, staring at his feet. "You think I'm gonna get all into my person all crap in front of my intern and you've got another thing coming Mer."

"Oh, come on! This is Seatte Grace. Everyone finds out everyone's personal crap. We did when we were interns," Mer glared and tilted her head to one side, addressing Dr. Lacey. "Nice job, I need just a little bit more suction in the lower quadrant. Excellent..."

Lacey complied, and Merdith continued, "Now, tell me something Dr. Lacey: Did you know that Dr. Karev is a human being?"

"Uh," Lacey's eyes widened, but she didn't move them from the patient. "Yeah...I mean...mostly...uh...a kind of scary human being...but a human being all the same."

Alex narrowed his eyes.

"So, he's probably going through something other people have experienced before, right? Whatever his crap is, it isn't unique?"

"I don't really know if I should-I...I mean...I guess," the young intern's brown eyes flicked to Alex for a split second, "If you say so Dr. Grey."

"See, Alex?" Meredith spoke to him again, taking a long pause to work through a particularly complex point in their patients procedure. "Even this intern acknowledges that you, in fact, are not any different than the rest of us. Which means you need to deal with whatever is bothering you."

Rolling his eyes, Alex sighed. He would have busted her chops a little bit for messing with him during a surgery, but all through the procedure, Ellie's vitals and heart rate were holding stable. The green and red monitors remained calm and constant, and it suddenly hit Alex that he never really stopped and appreciated just what a good neuro surgeon Meredith was turning out to be. In the end, he was pretty sure she'd end up giving Shepherd and his sister more than a run for their money in the field. She was pretty good. Still, it didn't mean he was gonna go into all his fears and worries with her now. He'd been working hard to keep it in. To suck it up. He wasn't sure what would happen if he let any of it out.

Cutting into Alex's momentary distraction, Mer continued her annoyingly obvious attempt to bait him by talking to his intern, "Dr. Lacey, did you know that Dr. Karev and his fiancee are having a baby?"

"I..." Lacey fumbled, briefly glancing up to look at Alex once more. "I had heard that, yes."

"It's enough to make anyone nervous..."

At the word fiancee Alex couldn't help but groan a little bit. If only he could freakin' afford to make April his wife. If only she'd get over the stupid 'big wedding' stuff. Do it quick. At the courthouse. Like Mer had. He still didn't want to talk about it, but Alex was sure that Mer wasn't about to let him get off the hook without saying something. Maybe if he gave in just a little bit, she'd back off on the rest.

So he mumbled, "Lucy Fields is heading up the on the ground teaching pilot program at Nambosi clinic; she gets to set it up. I'm still important or whatever, for strategic planning and everything...but Jennings is gonna let the first round of teaching go to her, since she's already there. And she gets to choose which doctors are coming here to learn..."

"I'm sorry, Alex," Meredith said sympathetically. "I know that project means a lot to you."

Alex shrugged, "It's whatever.

"It's one thing you can't do," she observed quietly as she and Dr. Lacey continued working.

"Bleed is controlled," Mer said triumphantly. "Let's close. Have you talked with April about any of this Alex?"

"She is supposed to avoid stress," he answered. "She's making enough on her own, so I am not about to go out of my way to add to it anymore than I already am."

"Oh? April's stressing?"

Alex gave up. Meredith wasn't about to let him get away without fully disclosing what was bothering him. It pissed him off. He sniffed and shifted, pulling his feet closer to him so that his shoes squeaked on the tile OR floor. Maybe she'd know what to do. She was a chick after all. Though Alex thought that similarities between Meredith and April were few and far between.

"She's freaked out about having a wedding before she gets too big. Like that's gonna happen. She's already starting to...well...and NO. We can't just go get the dumb papers and everything like you did," Alex glowered. "What's the deal with chicks and big weddings anyway? It's not like we could afford what she wants..."

Meredith lifted her head slightly, as she carefully stitched up their young patient's incision. Lacey, listening as she assisted, shrugged and mumbled, "It's a girl thing Dr. Karev...you go to enough weddings and wear the ugly bridesmaid dresses over the years, all you really want is your turn..."

"I don't need your two cents Dr. Lacey!" Alex snapped, rising as Meredith finished dressing Ellie.

The intern shrugged again, "Just saying."

He ignored her and looked at Meredith, "She ready for recovery? I can give the parents an update while you move her..."

"Yes, I think so," Mer said, placing her instruments on the tray beside her. "Dr. Lacey why don't you get Ms. Anderson here settled in recovery? Give her parents a rough update and tell them that Dr. Karev and I will be out soon to give them some more specifics."

They all three quickly scrubbed out, and soon Alex and Meredith were standing in the hallway outside the OR.

"Dr. Lacey is right, you know," Mer said softly. "About women and weddings. It's normal."

Alex said nothing, opening his copy of Ellie Andersen's chart and scribbling updates in it. This particular surgery, like most brain surgeries, had taken a while. His plan to leave in the early evening was well and truly kaput, as evidenced by the darkness outside the hallway windows and the empty quiet hallways. It was quiet enough that you could hear the November drizzle on the roof, if you listened for it. Night could be really slow at Seattle Grace. On good nights.

Meredith began updating Ellie Andersen's chart, while Alex added his own thoughts.

"It was a good clean procedure," Mer said. "With follow up and rehabilitation, she has a good chance to make a full recovery."

"I dunno Mer," Alex added sadly. "You didn't see her when they brought her in. Her speech was-"

"Ellie Andersen is very young, Alex. Similar cases I have treated have had very positive outcomes. Full or almost full recoveries."

"But what if the bleed opens up again? Or she falls off her bike again? Or some kids hits her upside the head at school and-"

"Alex!" Mer cut into his ramble. "None of that has happened. It probably won't happen, and we can't operate as if it's a foregone conclusion...but so what if it did? You're the one who always says 'there is something we can do'. If there are complications, we will deal with them. What else is bothering you?"

"Nothing. Whatever," Alex glared at the chart, determined to stop letting his problems continue to mess with his head. He had patients to worry about. He was startled when Mer abruptly grabbed the chart out of his hands.

"It's like pulling teeth! Alex tell me, just tell me? What is it? Is April's stress making you worry? Did you guys find out something about the baby? Are you...just tell me!"

Alex exhaled, "The baby's fine and all, it's just-April...she's all stressed that you are gonna evict us or something. Keeps trying to find places for us to move...and it's getting to me a little too. I mean, what kind of Dad am I, if I can't even afford to move to a different place?"

"What? Alex, you know I would never-"

"I know that! It's her," Alex gestured emphatically, trying to find a way to explain it, even though he thought his girlfriend's fears were a little ridiculous. "April thinks we're depriving you of rent income or whatever...since it's just the two of us and you could be renting to more people or something. She feels bad. So, she looks up these rentals and apartments in our price range, but they're all in dumps or super old or small and whatever. And we can't afford better because I have to pay for Aaron's home, mom's nurse and Amber's freakin' tuition."

"Well, you tell her that that is one thing she should not be worrying about," Meredith said quietly. "I'm not trying to make money. Honestly...knowing you guys are in the house...it's better. Means more to me. Means a lot feels like I am keeping it in the family. So you guys can stay as long as you want. I absolutely mean that."

Her words took Alex off guard a little bit. He figured she was just letting them stay until they got their money situation figured out. But it seemed like her reasoning ran a lot deeper than that. He looked at Meredith skeptically, "Oh yeah?"

She looked a little wistful, "I think...I think you guys can bring a happy childhood to that house...and I am all for that. I think you are going to be a much better father than you think you will be Alex. I do. So really. Don't worry. Either of you."

Closing the chart Meredith rested a hand on Alex's shoulder, "There might be a thousand what-ifs, but in the end things will work out, Alex. I know it's hard, but try to cut April some slack. Cut yourself some slack."

Alex only nodded, suddenly feeling grateful that his friend had pushed him to talk a little. It actually felt better to get some of the crap out in to open and off his chest. He felt lighter. Way less pissed. Go figure.

Cutting them both some slack sounded like a good idea. Damned hard to do, but Alex thought it would be worth trying. So, things weren't perfectly lined up yet, and they had a baby on the way. Whatever. It wasn't really a bad thing, and it wasn't really anyone's fault. You just keep on going. Do your best. They would. Alex knew they would. Thinking of Ellie Anderson's he realized that they were probably tearing themselves up over their daughter's injury. He could picture them, in the waiting room, all weepy and freaked out. But there was no way to know at the time that their daughter's fall had caused a bleed. They'd done their best, and brought Ellie to Seattle Grace the moment they'd suspected something was wrong. They did their best.

He cleared his throat and moved down the hall, glancing back toward Mer, "You're right. And you know, I think we outta tell the Andersen's to cut themselves some slack too. I guess...I guess when you become a parent or...get close to becoming one, it's easy to be really hard on yourself."

Easily matching stride with Alex, Meredith grinned, "True story."

April sighed and reached to the coffee table in front of her, grabbing her glass and taking another swig of ginger ale. What she wouldn't kill to have a beer right now. Either that or a Twinkie. Actually...now that she thought about Twinkies, to her appetite, that was actually the more attractive option. Reaching to the table again April grabbed a baby carrot and took a sharp bite.

That was the thing about her life now, right? She couldn't just do what she wanted to do. Pregnant women shouldn't drink. Her mind spun with the memories of articles and cases she'd seen that dealt with fetal alcohol syndrome. Nope. Not a path she was interested in. And Twinkies? Well...they were almost as indestructible as a cockroach, and April really didn't think it was a good idea to ingest something that has a potential shelf life of more than 50 years. Especially not with a brand new baby growing inside. And the thing was, April normally didn't even like Twinkies at all.

"Not until you..." she whispered softly, looking downwards and running a hand across the small bump of her stomach."You really need to get better taste in foods my little love. Twinkies are not good for you."

That was the other thing about her life now. Technically, April was never really alone. The thought made her smile. It really was kind of strange to think, but it was true. Her baby was always there. And according to her medical experience in addition to all three of the books she'd read about pregnancy, at around this time, 15 weeks, the baby was beginning to develop a sense of hearing. At least, the tiny ear bones were formed. So, April didn't think it was too weird to start talking to them. It couldn't hurt. At least, when she was alone, and no one would tease her for acting crazy.

Laughing humorlessly, realized that she could understand why people would want to call her crazy right now. Maybe she was. Here she sat, bare feet resting on the coffee table, laptop resting on her thighs, with the tv blaring one of her favorite musicals. Her hair was a mess, her knee felt like it was swollen to the size of a softball because she'd landed on it funny at work today, and her jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped because somewhere between the weekend and today they had stopped fitting comfortably on her belly. She didn't think she quite looked pregnant to anyone who didn't already know she was. More like someone who'd eaten a few too many Twinkies.

On a whole April was sure it was quite the sight to see. She must look super sane, and super attractive. Not. No wonder Alex didn't seem to want to marry her anymore. Okay, that wasn't completely fair. No matter what, Alex had already seen her at her worst. And being trapped in the rubble of a collapsed building was definitely way worse than being cranky and more than a little bloated. He'd already seen the worst and stuck around. No, it wasn't that Alex didn't want to marry her. He just didn't think they could afford to have a wedding right now. And deep down, as infuriating as it was, April knew that he was right.

April squinted at her laptop screen, willing the numbers that filled her excel spread sheets to work out somehow. They were already carpooling most of the time. Maybe if she shrank their travel budget? Then again, she wanted her child to have the chance to know her extended family, and grandparents. And both Alex's and her family lived far away in the Midwest. He was not as keen on visiting his family, although she had twisted his arm for them to go to Iowa at the end of the month to see his mom for Thanksgiving. So Alex would potentially support a travel budget cut, but April found it unacceptable. It seemed like a poor decision to shrink that just now. She didn't want to take the opportunity to see family away from her baby before she was even born.

She flicked the spreadsheet again. What if they cut cable? Alex might actually want to kill her if she got rid of his various sports channels. Cable networks were the only ones that showed real wrestling, not that 'WWE crap'. Alex did really seem to enjoy coming home and watching the stuff. Somehow it relaxed him, in spite of all the violence. April didn't really get it. And technically it was Mer's house and she set up the cable line anyway, so it probably wasn't even possible to cut without going through her. After all, their friend technically owned the home.

Asking her parents was a possibility in the back of April's mind, but she didn't really like the idea of asking them for money help. She'd been paying her own way since she went to college on merit scholarships and small jobs. It would feel like a huge step back to get help now. And it wasn't like her mom and dad had that much money anyway. A teacher and a farmer. Not exactly high paying jobs. Besides, April was about to be come a parent herself, so it would feel wrong to still depend on her own right now.

Swallowing hard, April bit her lips and let her fingers hover uncertainly over the keys. There was just no way to make all the numbers do what she wanted them too. It was all pretty ridiculous actually. She knew that it was not feasible to plan a wedding before she was huge and even less possible that they would be able to find a good place and move too. April knew that...it was just...

She'd always imagined that things would play out differently. When April had thought of herself having a child, she'd imagined the typical American dream. She'd be married and they'd live in a nice house and everything would be settled. It was what her family had taught her. It was just how the Kepner's did things. All her sisters had gotten married and been pretty well established before they had kids. She'd been at each of their weddings. And it was the same deal for her cousins. You got married, and your whole family came to the wedding, then you had kids and that was that.

And they were already starting to pester her about when this wedding was going to happen. April's sister Libby had already made it quite clear to her, in the usual indirect and mildly condescending way, that she didn't really approve of April and Alex having a baby so soon. She still thought April needed time to adjust to her leg and her fellowship and everything. Kimmie kept delicately pointing out how quickly time was going to get away from them, if they didn't act fast. Her mother had sent her a few wedding planner recommendations, just in case "You two happen to think about having the wedding in Ohio." Carefully mixed in among those were housing listings for the greater Columbus area, as her mom would say, "Just in case".

Yeah sure, Mom. Spend you're entire childhood dreaming of moving away from Cook only to come running back. It wasn't that April hated her home town or anything. Really. It was a nice place. It was just too damned small. And people never seemed to leave. Or stop talking. According to Kimmie, news of her pregnancy had already spread through the small town of Cook Ohio, as well as to all of her aunts. Apparently it already causing quite he stir among the aunts. Because as Aunt Martha had supposedly said, "April always did seem to put the cart in front of the horse. She was always a funny girl." So far, only her Dad and youngest sister Alice hadn't pestered her about anything like that. They'd only been excited about the baby. Anywhere else, it wasn't a big deal. In Seattle it certainly wasn't. But Cook was small enough and old fashioned enough that having a baby before you got married was practically a scandal.

April slowly lifted her finger to her laptop and with a single click the nightmare of her budgeting spreadsheet disappeared. Her sisters, Cook, and the extended Kepner network would just have to deal with it. So what? People had babies without being married all the time. She was one of the lucky one's who did it with the love and support of her child's father. April realized that she shouldn't worry so much about it all. She shut the laptop and set in on the coffee table. Leaning back, she settled in to finish the rest of The Music Man and resolved to tell Alex she was sorry about being so fixated as soon as he got home, even if he was working late.

When the door quietly opened a few minutes later, April glanced up. Alex had said he had an emergency procedure, so she thought he wouldn't be home for hours. Sure enough, it was Amber's familiar form that appeared in the living room, laden with a backpack, drawing board, and a familiar Karev scowl.

"Hi," April said smiling. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, well..." Amber shrugged, unceremoniously dropping her stuff on the floor. "I wasn't expecting to get sexiled. Again. Gotta crash here for the night. Living with Tara blows. I miss Quincy. She needs to hurry up and get her ass back from Turkey."

"Ah," April said sympathetically, scooting over on the couch, and allowing the young woman to slump down on the couch next to her. "How long is she studying abroad?"

"Until freakin' Febuary," Amber moaned. She glanced over at April's baggie of carrots and glass of ginger ale, raising one eyebrow. "Still barfing?"

"Not as much. I'm eating them because carrots are healthy."

Grabbing one and taking a careful bite Amber rolled her eyes, "April, this is probably the only time in your life that you'd be able to get away with eating whatever you want. Eating for two and all that..."

Shaking her head vehemently, April said, "Being pregnant is not an excuse for not eating healthy. Studies show a babies nutritional habits might be-"

"Whatever," Amber cut her off, kicking off her shoes, and lifting her legs to the coffee table. "What are we watching?"

"The Music Man, have you seen it?"

"Nah."

"It's good."

"Sure..."

They watched in silence for a moment, and April looked over to Alex's little sister. She had come a long way from when they'd met the previous year. She was doing well in college, with a B+ average, and had seemingly adjusted well to living near Alex in Seattle. Amber was a lot like her brother, even though neither of them would admit it. She was slow to warm up to people sometimes, but she seemed to like April well enough. And she'd made friends in college. Aside from the occasional brush with her professors, oh so typical of Karev's and authority figures, Amber was doing alright.

After a beat of watching the movie, Amber smirked and glanced in April's direction, "You know you're putting me in a terribly awkward position."

"Hmm...?"

"I've never been anyone's aunt before. I may screw it up...it's not like you're having a practice baby."

Though the smile played at the young woman's lips, and the tone of her words reflected humor, April could tell that deep underneath it all, Amber probably genuinely did feel as nervous about the whole baby thing as April and Alex did.

April tried to sound reassuring. After all she was an aunt herself four times over. Granted, she lived in a different state from all her nieces, but she did try to be as involved as she could, "It's not that hard. You'll be fine. You get to play with the kids when they are fun, and hand them back when they get cranky."

They both laughed, and April realized that being unable to leave Meredith's place wasn't so bad. Even if they were preventing Meredith from subletting out to other people. It was nice that the house was close enough to the University that Amber could take the bus to get there on her own. She often showed up to utilize the washer and dryer or to eat a free meal and hang out. It had enough rooms that Amber could stay there if she wanted. It was as much a home, April supposed, as any other place they could move too. Maybe even more of one.

When the movie ended, both April and Amber headed upstairs and crawled into bed. She was just dozing off when she heard Alex creep into the bedroom. He tiptoed around the bed and began to undress. April shifted and rolled over to look at him.

"Hey."

"Oh crap," Alex mumbled. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I'm awake," she smiled at him, curling close as he climbed into bed next to her. "Amber is here tonight."

"I know, I almost killed myself tripping over her crap when I came in," Alex ran his hand along April's shoulder. "You guys have fun without me?"

"Of course."

"You feel okay today?"

April sighed and snuggled closer to him, "Yeah. Alex? I...I know I've been a little, well, annoying about the wedding and everything. I know right now we can't really-"

"No," he interrupted. "I thought about it...and I talked to Mer. I get it. I do."

This surprised April. She was the one who was about to tell Alex that he was absolutely right. She'd realized she was being more than a little unreasonable.

"Really?"

"You want your shot. It's not really my deal, but I understand. You probably got stuck going to all your sister's weddings and your friends. You just want your turn," Alex pressed his forehead to hers. "And you'll get it. We'll have a great wedding. With your crazy sisters, and cake, and your Dad walking you down the aisle and all that crap. Just not until..."

"After the baby," April finished his sentence. "I know. I was about to tell you. I was just being...unrealistic. Blame Ohio. I just didn't want to be different. It's fine. I know you love me and this baby, and that really is enough. And I like living here, so if Mer's okay with that for the time being then-"

"I talked to her, it's fine."

"Then," April took a deep breath feeling two of her biggest worries vanish completely. "It's all okay. Really."

"Things will work out," Alex nodded, reaching down to gently pat her belly. "And we'll have little May with us at the wedding."

"May?" she asked in horror.

"That's the due date. I thought that's what your family does, right? I figure we can stagger our girls," he reached down and tickled her playfully. "We'll have May, June, July..."

April knew full well that Alex had previously said that her name was a little lame. She'd never really enjoyed being called the same name as the month she was born, it caused people to wish you a happy birthday for an entire month, and she couldn't see herself inflicting similar fate on her own child.

"Absolutely not! You're joking."

He only smirked. April realized that out of all of this she hadn't even begun to spare a serious thought to baby names. Her mind started to race.

Rita Karev rung her hands in her lap nervously. Alex swallowed uncomfortable and sat back on the creaky couch. The house had hardly changed at all. It was still dingy. Suffocating. It made Alex want to soft sounds of clattering pans and laughter filtered in from the kitchen. At least April and Amber seemed to be having a good time.

His mom swallowed and twisted her hands again, as her eyes darted in the direction of the kitchen, "It's too loud. D-Don won't like it."

Alex bit his lip and exchanged a weary expression with Rita's home care nurse, Peggy. She'd told them that morning when they'd arrived that Alex's mother was having a bad spell. She was always worse in the winter months. It sucked. They just had to keep her calm, and try to pull her back to the present day.

"Mom," he said gently. "Dad's not coming back."

It was like she couldn't keep still. His mom kept bouncing her leg and twisting around. She looked confused. Well, of course she did. Alex had no idea what year Rita thought it was, but obviously it was one where their Dad was still around to beat on her. It was messed up. Messed up that years later, long after Don Karev skipped town, Rita still lived in fear of him.

She tried to stand, but Alex put a gentle hand on her shoulder. Her panicky gaze met his and she mumbled, "It's too loud."

"Rita," Peggy cut in, trying to pull the older woman back to the present. "It's Thanksgiving tomorrow. You are going to spend it with your family. That is your daughter in there."

"Amber?"

"Yeah, and your daughter in law, April. They are getting the food ready for tomorrow."

Fiancee and daughter in law was a distinction Alex had decided not to push. He figured by the time his Mom learned who April was, they'd probably be married anyway. Confusion still laced his mother's features, but the conversation did seem to bring her a little closer to reality. The movements of her hands slowed and she nodded slowly.

"You got married and didn't tell us. Aaron said-Aaron said she got cancer...and left..."

"That was Izzie, Mom. You never met her. This is someone else."

Laughter came from the kitchen again, and Alex leaned back, only just able to make out April and his sister. She had just started needing to wear maternity pants, and Alex grinned at the clearly visible curve of her stomach. He was glad that Amber seemed to really like April. It was good for both of them. And April had a lot more patience with Amber then Alex thought he would have on his own. And she was the one who convinced them that they needed to visit their mom for the holiday. So far, she'd been pretty good with Rita, acting completely unfazed by the fact that the woman didn't yet remember who she was. Currently, April was standing at the counter talking to Amber, and whatever they were talking about, it was cracking them both up. It had been a long time since anyone laughed in this house.

Suddenly his mom turned to face him, "Where's Aaron?"

"He doesn't live here anymore, Mom. He's not coming for Thanksgiving," Alex said sadly.

"He grew up. Didn't he? Like you."

"Yeah." Not so much.

Currently Aaron lived in a residential mental health facility. And to be quiet honest, Alex didn't know if Aaron would ever come back. Even if he got better. He didn't think Amber would ever be ready to face their brother. After all, he'd tried to kill her with his bare hands. That sick scared feeling began to creep up in his chest again, and Alex willed himself not to think about the possibility that the baby might be crazy. He had been affectionately referring to as May because it annoyed April. Alex couldn't stand the thought of little May inheriting this kind of stuff from him. But there was no way to know, and it was too painful to think about so he pushed the thoughts away.

Rita started rocking herself again, mumbling, "Don's not going to like it."

Bastard probably didn't give a damn at all.

The rest of the night went okay, all things considered. They ate dinner, and his mom only confused April for Izzie once, and after dinner, Amber had gotten Rita to look at some of the sketches she had done of buildings she'd designed for classes. And for a few minutes, Rita was all the way there. She knew who they all were, and why they were there. She told Amber that she was proud of her and Alex found himself freakin' chocked up. But it was just-the way his sister puffed up after hearing their mother's praises. It was too much. It was enough to coax Alex into letting his guard down.

Which was probably a big mistake.

Peggy the nurse went home, wishing them all a happy holiday, promising to be back on Monday after spending her days off with her own family. Amber helped their mom get into bed, while April and Alex went about getting their couch bed set up. And they'd laid on the lumpy mattress and listened to the quiet house, and Alex had freakin' thanked April for pushing the issue and making them come here. Because she was kind of right. It was hard to face his mother's condition and all, but that didn't mean that he and Amber should just forget about her. Or pretend she wasn't as sick as she was. And visiting her might help her stay in better touch with the real world. He whispered all these things and they'd fallen asleep, and Alex had let his guard down.

Mistake.

Much later, he awoke with a start. The house was dark, and freaking cold. The space beside him was empty. Alex didn't immediately sense that anything was wrong. April peed like a racehorse these days, waking up more than once in the night because she had to go. It wasn't unusual for Alex to wake up and find her absent. He rolled over and his brow furrowed. Her cane still leaned neatly by the side of the bed. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. That was a little weird. April was usually pretty good about using her cane. Dr. McCaw had told them she had to be careful about falls.

Maybe she really had to pee. Alex rubbed his eyes and sat up. The house was damned quiet. And damned cold. Too quiet. Too cold. Alex couldn't remember what had woken him. He got out of bed and cautiously made his way down the hall. The bathroom door was open, and the light was off. April wasn't there. Instantly, Alex was awake. He began moving urgently down the hallway, opening doors as he went. Amber was sound asleep in her room, but his mom's room? It was empty.

"Hey," Amber's sleepy voice reached his ears. "Wha's goin' on?"

Heart thundering in his chest, Alex didn't take the time to answer her as he turned on his heels and headed back down the hall. Where the hell were they? April wouldn't go any further than the bathroom without her cane. He knew that. She was being extra careful. He walked back through the living room. April wasn't in the house. Her shoes were still by the front door, and her coat hung from the coat rack. His mom's stuff was still there too. And he couldn't shake the cold fear that was beginning to fill his body. Damn it.

"Alex?" Amber pressed again, walking up behind him. "Where's mom?"

When he reached the kitchen his panic grew. There were drawers open, and a single pan lay in the middle of the floor. Alex knew why the house was so cold. The side door was wide open, revealing the icy, snow dusted alley way, and letting the cool November air rush in. No other signs of his mom or April. Alex cursed himself. Something wasn't right. He'd let his guard down. His mother was unpredictable. Rather her disease was. Like Aaron. He'd let his guard down.

Big mistake.