A/N: Here is chapter 6. At first it was going to be two chapters, but it seemed too short wherever I cut it, so I left it as one. So enjoy the extra length, I guess. Start your countdowns friends, baby boy Karev will be coming, starting in chapter 7, and really appearing in chapter 8. He's not the only twist to come, so hold on folks, this story isn't going to end just when he arrives. Thank you all very much for reading and for continuing to review! It means a lot, and I really do appreciate reading your thoughts.
It started with the sounds of movement up stairs. Footsteps. Toilets flushing. Shower water. A screech from a little girl. Mumbling nonsensically, Alex blinked, only dimly aware that April was stirring next to him, before he turned over on his side, letting sleep overtake him once more.
A short time later it was other noises that filtered in. Muffled talking, the clanking of dishes in the kitchen, laughter, and the sound of chairs scraping across a wooden floor. Then there was singing. Freaking singing!
"Rockin' around the Christmas Tree! Let the Christmas Spirit ring..." Jesus Christ.
Groaning, Alex shifted and squinted as he slowly woke up in an unfamiliar bed. Completely opening his eyes, he could make out Amber in the far corner of the room on the air mattress, bundled up with a mountain of blankets. She was starting to stir too, sitting up, with her hair all tangled. She scowled out at the dimly lit room and reached for her cellphone, pressing the button that allowed her to check the time.
"Oh my god," Amber moaned, flopping back down onto her pillows. "It's 6:42 am!"
"Damn..." Alex agreed.
"It'll still be Christmas Day at 10."
"Mhmm..." Alex grumbled, twisting around and pulling his head beneath his pillow.
"They're freaks, Alex! All of them."
"I know," he nodded, even though he knew his sister couldn't see.
All freaks. That was true. They were crashing in the spare bedroom on the first floor of the Kepner farm surrounded by freaks. Amber wouldn't know that though, because this was her first time spending a holiday with them. Christmas in Ohio with April's family. And it seemed like everyone and their mother had spent the freakin' night. So that they could have breakfast and open presents together first thing. Tradition. Yada yada. Blah blah. They were all there. Joe and Karen. Kimmie, Wendell, and their kid. Libby, Mike, and their kids. At least, Alex and April had an excuse to be staying there. They were from out of town. And there weren't really any hotels in Cook, Ohio. The rest of them were just crazy. At least Deigo and Alice had had the common sense to spend this year in Chicago with his family. Otherwise, Alex was sure they'd have ended up cramming someone in the barn.
But to be fair, except for the sleep deprivation, Alex knew that he and Amber didn't really have much to complain about. Holidays here sure as hell beat what they'd known in Iowa. Beat what they'd experienced at Thanksgiving. No beatings, no kidnappings, no crazy. Here, waking up to a cold space next to him bed didn't make his heart stop.
So what if Mike ribbed Alex about being an Iowa State Alum? And who cared if Kimmie kept mentioning that she'd read in the paper that the local clinic was short of doctors? Or if Libby and Karen looked like they were about to burst from keeping the babies gender a secret from Joe until he opened his gift? Or that Wendell kept commenting about youth defiance and irresponsibility somehow relating it all to the blue died streak in Amber's hair? Whatever.
There was good food. Nice people. April was happy, if a little hormonal (not that he had the balls to actually mention the hormones to her face). Amber built 'architecturally sound' snow forts with the nieces (not that Alex understood how something made out of snow could actually be architecturally sound). All in all it was okay compared to what they had known before. Even if the Kepners were all freaks.
Faint giggling and the creaking of the door made Alex roll over and sit up. One of April's nieces, basically one of his too, if he thought about it, Tiffany, peered through the doorway.
"Sneak," he teased, biting back a yawn.
"Um..." excited the 6 year old leaned on the door and hopped from foot to foot. "Are you waking up yet?"
Amber groaned again, and Alex slowly pulled himself out of the bed, "Do we have a choice?"
"Well, we have breakfast..." Tiffany offered hopefully. She looked at her feet and whispered, "And...Gramma said we can't open anything until everyone in the family is awake."
The truth comes out. Scratching his stomach and pushing his feet, Alex padded over to the open door, "They are holding your presents hostage? That's a low blow."
He yawned and stretched, wincing at the amount of aches and popping joints he had. Tiffany looked up at him hopefully, hanging on the door handle. What the hell? It wasn't like there was much of a shot at sleeping in anyway. Smiling down at her, Alex said, "I suppose for your sake we can drag ourselves out there."
"Speak for yourself," Amber's voice was muffled by her blankets. "I'm not a member of the family and I don't wanna be if it means I have to get up this early."
Tiffany's face fell and she said earnestly, "But Amber! We like you! Please?"
"Come on, Amber," Alex added to the plea. "Think of the presents..."
Sighing dramatically, Amber sat up and untangled herself from her bed, stumbling over to the door. Rubbing her eyes she regarded Tiffany seriously, "Fine, I'll get up. You owe me, squirt."
"You're getting up?" Tiffany looked like she was about to burst. Smiling she turned and ran down the hall, past wall that Alex called 'museum of Kepner' because of all the pictures hanging there. Amber and Alex winced as the girl screeched, "They're getting up! Everybody is awake now!"
And so, reluctantly, Alex and Amber experienced their very first Christmas with the Kepners. When they made it to the living room, Alex almost laughed when he saw them all. Awake and bushy tailed and talking up a storm. Settling down on the couch, he grinned as April came out of the kitchen carrying a steaming hot mug. He playfully grabbed the cup out of her hands as she curled up next to him.
"Hey! This isn't coffee..."
"No, it's peppermint hot chocolate, and it's mine! And Merry Christmas to you too," April huffed, grabbing the mug back and slapping the back of his head.
"Oh yeah," he looked sheepish and kissed her cheek. "Merry Christmas, April."
April glanced up from the mug and held his gaze for a moment before they both cracked up. In fairly short order everyone filtered into the living room and the present opening commenced. Alex hated to admit it, but it was kind of fun. Everyone opening their crap, kids running through the discarded wrapping paper, and all the women, except Amber, ohing and ahhing over the gifts at increasingly higher pitches. Even Amber seemed like she was having fun, once she had a cup of coffee in her.
Biting his lip, and gently resting his hand on April's bad knee, Alex remembered the last Christmas his whole family had spent together before everyone got carted off to foster care. Amber had been maybe 4 or 5, and Aaron had been closer to 9, and he'd been a young teen. Something like that. And his dad had gone out and gotten all shit faced the night before. He'd come home late and started beating on their mom. Alex could remember creeping into Amber's room and soothing her back to sleep with promises that it would all be okay, Santa still came to houses where Daddies yell, and wanting to walk out there and beat the snot out of his father. It wasn't that many months later that he'd done just that. And then their dad had left and their mom couldn't cope, and he and Aaron and Amber had all gone onto the system.
Freakin' A. Some childhood. Moments like this really drove home to Alex exactly how different his family and April's really were. Even now, sitting here at Christmas, even with everyone being almost obnoxiously welcoming, it still felt a little bit like he and Amber were out of place. Like they didn't fit in. Maybe it was just because last time he was at the farm, he'd hit it off with Alice and Diego, the members of April's family who weren't here now, but Alex was more than a little worried they never would really fit in. At least 'May' wouldn't have to worry about that. This was going to be his kid's extended family no matter what.
And one thing was certain. Alex would never ever ever allow his own son to experience a childhood like his. Never. He'd leave before it got close to anything like that, if it came down to it. A frown appeared on his lips as he thought of his mother. That wasn't the kind of life Alex would let April have either. He'd take himself out of the damn equation the second he thought he was turning into one half the guy his dad was. Not that he'd told April any of this. Alex knew he'd come a long way or whatever from the kid he'd been back then, but a small part of him was still terrified that when it came right down to it, he'd turn out to be like his father. And he didn't actually think it was going to turn out that way really, it was just a possibility he thought about sometimes. He just knew he'd never let his son and April have crappy lives. One way or another.
Alex was pulled from his thoughts be a particularly excited shriek from the woman next to him as she unwrapped a gift.
"Oh Kimmie!" April squeaked, carefully pulling out what appeared to be a scrap work blanket and holding it close to her chest. Oh boy. Alex braced himself and laid a hand on his fiancee's shoulder. Here come the waterworks. Sure enough, soon April was full scale blubbering.
"April-showers, even in December..." murmured Wendell, which earned him a withering glare and a sharp retort from his wife.
"She's pregnant, leave her alone." Now freakin' Kimmie was crying too, along with Karen and Libby. Even Joe Kepner was dabbing at his eyes.
Alex shrugged and pulled April close, exchanging a look of utter confusion with Amber across the room. His sister looked from person to person questioningly.
"What the he-eck?"
A look from Libby, caused Amber to re-route the vocabulary choice she'd made, making Tiffany and her big sister Claire giggle. Alex didn't freakin' know what was going on. It was just a quilt or whatever. He should have explained to his sister that tears were a pretty routine part of things when April and at least one of her sisters were in the same room. Seemed like that anyway.
"Alex," April said, wiping her eyes and holding out the quilt. "It's...special. For the baby."
He nodded, wincing a little bit, and took an edge of the cloth. There were patches of green, yellow, white, and purple. Some seemed to have faded images of animals, lambs or something...and he wasn't an expert, but Alex was pretty sure he could make out faint stains. It just didn't seem like the sort of thing April would be all gaga about. Not all mismatched, patch work, and stains. Right?
He replied tentatively,"I can see that..."
"It's made of all our baby blankets, from when we were little," she continued, taking the quilt and rubbing the yellow patch against her cheek. "Thank you so much, Kimmie."
"Well, we thought, since you two live so far away...it'd be a way to connect all of us to the baby," Kimmie sniffed. "Even if we can't always be there in person."
"Uh, that's nice. Thanks..." He hadn't even gotten the words all the way out before it was blubber city all over again.
Alex supposed it was kind of sweet. He wasn't really the sentimental type, and he didn't know what it was like to have a family like this, but it kind of made him happy to think that his kid would. His boy had a bunch of crazy aunts who already loved him so much. And that wasn't even just looking at April's sisters, or even aunts who were related by blood. Mer and even Cristina totally counted.
Joe's gift was saved for last, and by the time April laid the square wrapped package in her father's lap, Alex thought she was about to pee herself with excitement. Then again, he supposed he should be more generous, considering that she did have a small person pushing on her bladder and so it would be perfectly reasonable if she did have to pee. Or whatever.
"What's this, Ladybug?" the old dude asked April as he carefully began to unwrap the gift.
Amber rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, "It's tacky."
His sister had made no secret of the fact that she thought their plan (more April's than his) for the baby's big gender reveal with Joe was a little lame. Alex thought it was a little lame too. A blue framed ultrasound, complete with a helpful arrow and happily printed letters proclaiming 'it's a boy!". It was one thing for him to carry around a copy of May's ultrasound in his wallet, or for April to hang it on the fridge. They were the parents. What exactly anyone else would do with copies of it was beyond Alex. However, he did know that Joe was a strange sort of guy. He'd tried to explain to Amber that Joe was just the sort of person who'd love a lame gift. And he'd love the surprise of finding out he was having a grandson. He was a puzzle.
"It's from me and Alex, Dad," April grinned and nudged Alex, resting one hand on her belly.
If there was one thing Alex wanted to remember from the whole freaking holiday, it was the look on Joe's face as his held the small picture frame in his lap, and the ramifications of what he was looking at slowly dawned on him. First he scrunched his nose, and fished a pair of thick framed glasses out of his ratty bathrobe's pocket.
"It's one of the ultrasound pictures, right?" he said quietly, brow furrowed, lifting the photo closer to read. Then his jaw dropped, and his eyes kept flicking back and forth, reading the text again and again. He blinked rapidly, and words seemed to catch in his throat. Karen perched on the armrest of his chair and looked down at the frame.
"Look, Joe. A grandson!" Mike, Wendell and the nieces all perked up too. April's mother and sister's had done apparently kept them in the dark as much as Joe.
"Oh my," Joe breathed, when he was finally able to speak again. He lifted his gaze, and shifted it back and forth between April and Alex. "Isn't that something..."
"Our cousin is gonna be a boy? Boy's are icky," Claire asked, frowning.
"Pretty much," Amber whispered. "But they clean up okay."
"So, since you two aren't married," Mike said smugly to Alex, with his arms crossed. "Does that mean this kid'll carry on the Kepner name? Isn't that what they do for unmarried mothers?"
Alex fumed. Oh yeah. Real smart ass. The fact that this baby was unplanned, and that they couldn't really afford any kind of a wedding right now was still a sore spot for Alex. He realized that because of his family or whatever he had more loan debt, and expenses then most guys his age. Between his mom and Aaron and Amber, things got expensive. If April had gotten together and wanted to marry someone else with his income, marriage might have been possible sooner. And he wanted to give April the kind of wedding she'd dreamed of. And Mike didn't know crap. He kind of wanted to punch the guy, but given the setting he decided to settle with chewing his would be brother in law out.
But before he would speak or so much as move a muscle, two voices shouted, "Shut up!"
Mike shifted, uncomfortable, under the glares of both April and Amber. If looks could kill, Alex thought that Mike would have been cold and dead in the ground before he could even blink. His sister scowled and Alex realized with a mixture of amusement and pride that April was twisting her cane handle ominously.
"What are you trying to imply, Mike?" she hissed, popping the hard consonants out with all the precision and sharpness of an arrow, without letting her brother in law look away from her for a minute.
"Nothing, nothing," Libby attempted to placate the situation, and failing miserably. "We've just been trying to teach the girls that the way things should go is first marriage-"
"Oh?" April snapped. "So I am not doing things the right way?"
"Well, now I didn't say that, but frankly-"
"Alex and April can do whatever they want. No one cares! It's the freakin' 21st century," Amber rolled her eyes. "Everywhere else in America it's the 21st century. It may not have made it to Cook yet, but by the time your kids grow up, it will. So worry about other crap."
The little girls looked at Amber with something akin to hero worship and Claire whispered, "Amber yelled at Mommy!"
"Settle down everybody. Let's not spoil the moment," Joe said, still completely absorbed in his gift. It was like he only had eyes for that picture frame. He smiled slightly and shook his head, "A boy..."
His words seemed to calm everyone down and then Karen started organizing the little ones with paper clean up and ushering people in the kitchen for Christmas waffles. Soon only April and Alex remained on the couch, along with Joe in his chair with his picture. Alex still felt sullen, but April's anger seemed to have vanished with the flick of a switch. Hormones were scary like that.
April rose from the couch and went to hug her father, "Are you happy, Dad?"
Joe leaned up and kissed his daughter's cheek, "I would have been happy with a healthy grandchild of any gender."
"I know," April grinned. "But still..."
Joe looked over to Alex over his daughter's shoulder, and Alex once again got that strangely uncomfortable sense he always had around April's father. It was like Joe could read his thoughts, see his past, and knew his feelings. It made Alex feel utterly exposed. Breaking eye contact, Alex whiped at his mouth and joined the conversation.
"Still..." he shrugged. "You're used to chicks."
Easing himself to his feet, Joe only smiled, "This old farmer needs a little breakfast."
On his way to the kitchen, April's father squeezed his shoulder, speaking softly so only Alex could hear, "I always knew I liked you."
Alex gulped. Strange dude. Settling back next to him on the couch, April looked at Alex apologetically.
"I'm so sorry about all that. Mike has always been a bit..."
"Whatever."
"They're just old fashioned."
"I noticed," Alex pursed his lips and ran his hands down his knees, and trying to avoid the topic. "That's not the only thing we learned."
"Really?"
He lifted the baby quilt from the edge of the couch, and smirked, fingering the faded patches, "Sure. We've learned that you have a kid and people stop giving you presents. Everything is for the kid. Even before you have them."
They both threw their heads back in laughter before April turned to face Alex and rested her hand on his knee, "You know...I could give you a special present..."
"Oh?" Her hand crept higher and Alex jumped. That kind of present. "Oh yeah?"
Nodding, April bit her lip and fingered his chest, "Yeah..."
Alex ran his hand down April's back and leaned over to trail kisses down her neck. Hormones were scary things, but they had their perks. However, at the sound of a loud crash and a child crying in the kitchen they sprang apart. They were in her parents house. Not the place to get caught up in the moment. Her sister and brother in law apparently already thought they were bad influences or whatever. Best not to make that impression any worse than it already was.
"Well," April amended sheepishly. "...when we get back. Obviously."
Alex nodded, "Right."
Opening the door to the attendings lounge, April rubbed her back and fought back a yawn. Limping into the room, she headed straight to her lunch in the refrigerator. She stared glumly at the sandwich, bag of celery and cup of applesauce that awaited her. Pulling them out, and grabbing a water bottle, April gingerly lowered herself onto the blue couch along the lounge's back room. What she really wanted was watermelon. Hard to get for a reasonable price at the end of January. Winter and everything. Still, she wanted watermelon. Watermelon or chocolate chip cookies. Better yet, both.
At 5 months pregnant, April thought she was actually feeling pretty good, if a little bit disconcerted. She was pretty tired these days. The nausea had finally finally stopped. This meant that she didn't have to spend her mornings hunched over the porcelain toiled bowl, which meant that her knee wasn't constantly throbbing. She still had to use a cane for balance, but the reduction in sharp pains was amazing. April would take a dull ache over shooting pains any day. As the baby grew, her stomach grew, along with other parts of her body. Not useful parts, of course. Not parts that she might want to grow, like say her butt or boobs...or...no. April's fingers seemed swollen, she'd almost gotten stuck in her engagement ring earlier in the week. Her feet seemed to be growing too, and she had to loosen the laces of her work sneakers in order to feel like her circulation wasn't being cut off. Dr. McCaw said both water retention and foot growth were perfectly normal.
So too, was the apparent return of April's acne. People kept commenting that she had that pregnant 'glow', but April really suspected it was really just a way of not commenting on the return of her pimples. They hadn't looked good on her when she was a teenager, and April certainly didn't think they looked any better now, at almost 32. No amount of cover up or facial cleansers or anything seemed to make much of a difference. Today's big offender was a lovely large red splotch on her cheek. Oh joy.
April unwrapped her sandwich and began to eat in earnest. She had a skills lab to teach in 30 minutes. Trauma certification. So far this week she'd covered skin sutures, ROC, and triage practice. She'd been doing more and more skills labs, administrative, and second stage surgeries. She supposed it was only going to get worse as she got further and further along. She was becoming less and less of an asset in high stress, face paced incoming traumas. She couldn't move as quickly as she needed to, and she tired easily. Even April could admit that. The chief had suggested she work on some articles she'd started earlier on in her fellowship. She had been meaning to finish and get published, but the slow back off from intense work in the pit made April uneasy. Between her leg and this baby, twice in the past 3 years would she be falling behind in her surgical work.
Chewing her sandwich bitterly, April shook her head. She didn't really know why, but she had always tended to be a little insecure in her surgical abilities. It was a huge part of the reason she was so methodical and precise in double checking procedures. It was also the reason the fast pace of trauma worked well for her. In cardio or neuro, you had to plan each procedure in great detail in advance, and there was plenty of time to second guess your abilities, decision, and approach. When a trauma rolled in, things were very immediate, and April could zone in on the problem of assesing and treating each patient's pressing injuries. Organize, prioritize, follow the checklist and get on with it. She'd gotten a lot better with confidence since becoming an attending, but the fact that she was backing of on OR time recently wasn't doing much to boost her confidence.
Sighing, April continued to eat. Her second trimester was proving to be less painful and vomit filled than the first but sometimes she just felt like a terribly awkward, moody, big footed, pimple faced, surgical wash out. And she was still afraid she was dragging Alex down somehow too. The board was going ahead with the whole Africa project thing, and as much as Alex didn't want to talk about it, April could tell that it wasn't going the exact direction he wanted it to. And he'd probably have gotten more of a say in things if he was the one they'd be sending to Malawi in the summer. But she'd gotten pregnant and...well, sometimes it just made her want to wallow. Which in turn made her feel guilty be cause she was having the most perfect baby and that was awesome, so she had no right to feel like wallowing. April bit into her lunch viciously.
"Kepner, what did that celery ever do to you?"
April's head snapped up as Dr. Bailey slipped into the lounge and opened the fridge. She could almost laugh at the tone the other woman was using, except for the fact that she was still more than a little afraid of the short surgeon. April vividly remembered helping the older woman once when she was drunk, and thinking that they'd forged a friendship, only to be told that the whole thing "never happened". Ever since, she could never tell 100% sure where she stood with Dr. Bailey. Based on her observations, she suspected that many people felt this way.
April shrugged, "It's a vegetable."
"Ha! That's hardly a crime," Bailey grabbed her own tupperware lunch and sat down on the couch next to April. She fished around in her lunch and handed April a handful of chocolate kisses. "Here."
Taking the candy, April slowly unwrapped a piece, "Thank you. I know I shouldn't. I feel like a total blimp."
Miranda looked at her skeptically, "Girl, before this is over you gonna to feel like the Hindenburg. Besides, little chocolate can be good for your mental health. "
"It suppose I'd feel better if I didn't have pimples, or if my shoes fit, or I wasn't so tired or-" April stopped mid-sentence, and glanced over to Dr. Bailey, trying to gauge the other woman's response. She didn't want to get off on a ramble and irritate Bailey if she didn't want to hear. But Bailey was just nodding, with her lips pursed.
Removing the lid from her plastic wear Bailey, began to eat, saying only, "Boy babies...before they're even born they can suck the life right out of you."
Was that true? What if it was? April's eyes grew wide and she swallowed. They ate in silence and April stood to leave. "I-I have to g-go run trauma cert-ification."
She had just reached the door when Bailey spoke again, "It'll all work out Kepner. Men might cause trouble from the very beginning, but your little boy will also bring you more joy than you can understand. Even if, right now, he's making your feet swell."
April was overcome with a sudden surge of affection for Dr. Bailey. She really didn't hate April after all, "Thank you so much Dr. Bailey...that really makes me feel better. It's just so overwhelming sometimes...all of this, but you're right. I was never actually sure that you really liked me but now, it seems like we're so much closer-"
"Kepner," Bailey interrupted, holding up one hand. "Go do your trauma training."
Nodding earnestly April left and quickly made her way to the skills lab. Walking in urgently, April surveyed the familiar group of 4th year residents. Olant, Chi, Rooney, Waldo, and everyone else. Sitting around looking bored. They had no idea what was coming. April felt exhilaration. Energized. Food and talking with Dr. Bailey had lifted her spirits. She burst into the room and began using her free arm to distribute trauma gowns.
Maybe she was going to end up the size of the she'd get pimples. She'd be tired and her back was going to keep aching. But she was growing a baby. And he was already wonderful. Better than wonderful. She was getting used to the feeling of his movements, and she was beginning to tell his little schedule and routine. He moved most in the afternoons and late and night. Hardly ever in the morning. Shock of shocks, given that Alex was his Daddy. She could hardly wait to hold him in her arms. Bailey was right. And she didn't hate April. Double good.
Clapping her hands and using her most serious voice, April yelled, "Charter plane was forced into an emergency landing and collided with a greyhound bus! Mass causality situation! You are all needed in ambulance bay 2."
The residents stared back at her, shocked.
"Do I need to say it again? Move! I'll meet you there. Go, go, go!"
Chairs creaked on the tile floor and her residents began to fly out of the room. April smirked as she followed their quickly retreating backs, knowing that they were really about to find a parking lot full of dummies, and an index card laden Steve Mostow when they finished their sprint. She realized that she actually liked doing this. Teaching was a lot like trauma in a strange way, and she was willing to throw herself into it while she had to. If April couldn't always be in the OR, this might actually be as worthwhile substitute for her talents. Surveying the glum faces that met her arrival to ambulance bay 2, April mused that maybe teaching was more worthwhile. She liked helping them. April thought she might actually be good at teaching them.
"Welcome to trauma certification! We are going to split up into 3 teams. Each team will be responsible for 9 casualties. You may treat your patients using only what you can carry," April rattled off, holding up a hand against the grumbles. "The evac helicopter is on its way. The object of this exercise is to get your patients on to that helicopter."
Residents were beginning to cluster in groups, already forming teams. April leaned on her cane and examined the entire group, looking every young doctor in the eye. "Certification will be determined by me based on your performances today. Remembering everything we have gone over, I want each and every one of you to show me what you can do."
Jackson and Meredith sat huddled together at a table in the back of the dermatology waiting room scrambling to finish a guest list for April's baby shower. Neither Jackson nor herself were the most enthusiastic types about baby showers. He seemed more like he'd be comfortable planning the kind of party where caterers and professional decorators would be involved, and she had a toddler at home and almost no time to do anything. But Alex was due to meet them in a few minutes so Meredith knew that they really needed to get a move on.
"Being the godparent means we'll take care of the baby if Alex and April die," Jackson said, frowning at his pen. "Neither of us signed up to be party planners."
Meredith nodded vigorously. She found it kind of ironic that April had asked her to be the godmother because of her friendship with Alex, while Alex had done basically the same thing with Jackson because of his friendship with April. Not 'asked' so much as Alex cornered Jackson in Meredith's backyard two months previous, at the New Year's party, and told him that he was the baby's godfather. And Meredith also found if rather funny that both she and Jackson would probably say that their childhoods were adversely affected in one way or another, by being related to famous surgeons. Yet, Alex and April seemed to deem them both suitable to raise their child in the event that they couldn't. A Grey and an Avery. Cristina joked that the baby aught to bump Alex and April off right away, just so they could get ahead and benefit most from the Grey and Avery legacy, plus some bonus Shepherd influence on the side, combined with the poor little orphan syndrome. Perfect for a kick ass future surgeon. Her friend's sense of humor was pretty terrible, but even Meredith had cracked a smile.
"We could just call Lexie," Meredith suggested. "Or ask the ER nurses..."
Both her sister and the nurses seemed like they were much more the 'shower planning types', compared to herself and Jackson. Although, she supposed the two of them working on it was better than Alex working alone.
Suddenly, Jackson's brow furrowed and he straightened his shoulders, "We do not need to call Lexie...last thing I need is for Sloan to hear that I needed his girl's help to plan a simple party. He'd never let me live it down. We don't need help. We can do this."
Meredith chuckled and shook her head. The competition between Avery and his mentor went on. Even after he wasn't a resident anymore. It was kind of funny actually. And it had gotten funnier since Mark and Lexie had tentatively resumed their relationship with each other. Now the competition suddenly, though unwillingly, seemed to include Mara and Lexie as much as it did Jackson and Mark. At least from the men's perspectives, anyway. Meredith new full well from talking to her sister, that the women had no part in any of it.
"Okay," Meredith said, clearing her throat and pointing her pen to the blank sheet of paper. "At the very least, we can copy some stuff from Callie's shower. April liked all those stupid games, right?"
"She did," Jackson agreed.
"And the onesie decorating?"
"For sure."
"Well, how about you write down a rough guest list and I'll start writing what I remember from the other shower."
Both of them got down to business quickly, and Meredith had to admit that the whole 'working better under pressure' thing kind of worked. By the time Alex stalked into dermatology, both she and Jackson had lists ready. She doubted Alex would suspect that they hadn't done it all in advance, rather than in the past few minutes. Jackson smirked across the table at her as Alex joined them at the table and immediately began perusing the guest list he'd made up.
"What did you invite the whole hospital?" Alex asked Jackson suspiciously.
"No, just the people April might like to have come."
"Olant, Chi, Lindtz. Freakin' residents?"
"She likes them."
"We went to showers all the time when we were residents, Alex," Meredith pointed out diplomatically. "Free food."
"That was different."
Avery rolled his eyes, "How?"
"It's no so free anymore, now I have to pay for it."
Jackson shrugged, "It's only a preliminary list. We can cut it down."
"Whatever," Alex continued reading the list. "Who the hell is Melissa...Adamson..."
His voice trailed off, and he shifted uncomfortably. Adamson. Had to be related to Reed in some way. Dead Reed. Shot Reed. Reed who she'd never liked, or gotten to know. Reed who had passed her on the way to the bathroom once in the last moments of her lift. Reed who April had cried for during Derek's surgery. And it always brought up unpleasant memories for Meredith to think about that day. The day a shooter had come into the hospital and shot her husband and many other people, including Alex and April's best friend. Meredith wasn't surprised to see that it brought up stuff for Alex too. He didn't want to think about that day anymore than she did. That day in May. May. Meredith realized that maybe April had more than one reason for objecting to Alex's nickname for their unborn baby.
"Reed's mom," Jackson said nonchalantly. He shrugged again and looked between Alex and Meredith defensively when they only stared skeptically in response. "What? She lives in the area. April stays in touch. They get coffee sometimes. I do too. I also play basketball with Charles' brother about once a month."
Alex winced, "Really? She never said...Isn't that weird?"
"It was hard at first, but...we knew their families before they..." Jackson swallowed. "Before. And I think they'd want us to make sure their families are okay. Just because they died doesn't mean we stopped being their friends. I think April would invite her, and I know Mrs. Adamson would want to come..."
Alex looked thoughtful and Meredith sighed. She supposed it made sense. It made her feel guilty. George's mother had come in for a surgery a couple years back, and what had she done? Been awkward, stiff. It was just painful. She still missed George deeply. But she realized that Jackson and April clearly missed Reed and Charles at least as much as she missed her own friend. She knew that Torres had started to stay in contact with Mrs. O'Malley again, sending her pictures and updates about Sofia and stuff. Maybe she'd ask Callie for the number. She knew George would have spoiled Zola, and it now occured to her that Mrs. O' Malley might enjoy updates on her little girl as well. Maybe even a visit. After all, Louise O'Malley lived in Seattle.
"We won't cut her from the list then," Meredith said finally. Jackson nodded, but Alex still seemed to be miles away. She nudged him, "Right, Alex?"
He seemed to come back from them and he nodded vigorously, "Yeah, whatever."
Clearing his throat Alex, quickly read through the list of activities and supplies Meredith had come up with, which honestly was just a rip off of Callie's. He nodded and said, "This looks good. But I want to have it at the house, not the hospital."
"Okay," Meredith agreed.
"We'll have it at the house so there is absolutely no need to drive the next day. Cuz driving worked out so well after the shower for Torres..." Alex's face held a hard serious expression and radiated from his eyebrows right down to his frown. It would have been funny, except it was a hundred percent true. After the last baby shower that any of them had cared about, Arizona and Callie had had a huge car accident and Sofia had been born early and they'd both almost died. It was not an event any of them were eager to repeat.
Going over the rest of the list, Alex seemed to be satisfied with what they had so far. Before leaving he suggested a party date near the end of march, and offered a sincere 'thanks or whatever' for all the help they were giving, revealing to Meredith just how nervous he was about the whole thing. Alex rarely thanked people. At the sound of his pager, Alex rushed away, leaving Jackson and Meredith to pack up their notebooks alone.
"We're so good at this..." Jackson commented, sliding his pen into the pocket of his lab coat.
Meredith laughed, "Procrastination? Absolutely. Shower planning? Jury's still out."
Be that as it may, she couldn't resist meeting Avery's hand in a triumphant high five.
Alex rolled away from April and they both stared at the ceiling breathing hard, riding out the afterglow. Hell of a good morning. Resting her head on his chest, April giggled.
"No giggling," he teased, brushing her hair behind his ears. His comment only made her breathless laughter continue.
Since freakin' new year April had been more interested in screwing than he had ever known her to be. Which, according to the unappealingly thick book about pregnancy and fatherhood April had given him, was actually a fairly normal thing. Scary hormones and whatever. Not that he'd read the book or anything. Sure, he'd skimmed a few pages, but it was all crap he'd learned in med school anyway. And...whatever. It was just not the April he'd gotten used to when it came to sex. He wasn't used to her being all stomach, and hormones, and...attitude. It was great and all, but Alex didn't always know quite what to do with it. Especially when he had a million things on his mind and she freakin' woke him up by...
He jumped as April's hands began to roam again, and her lips pressed to his. He kissed back and it all was starting again, but for some reason Alex couldn't get lost in it. Maybe he wasn't sure how safe it would be that quick again and everything, or because they both had shifts at the hospital today...it wasn't like he was worried about that board meeting he had at 2. The one that would teleconference with Nambosi and freaking Lucy Fields. The bitch who had weaseled her way in on his project. Not once, but twice. He wasn't worried or pissed about that at all.
Sensing his reluctance, April pulled back and watched him closely, "Alex?"
"We'll be late," he said gruffly, swinging his legs out of the bed to get up.
April awkwardly scooted after him, mindful of her leg, and getting more and more twisted in the bed sheets. She bit her lip and ran her eyes up and down his body hungrily and retorted, "Not if we hurry."
Today was not a day Alex could afford to be late or even close to being late. Because he needed time to go over his notes before the meeting. So he knew everything in and out. Because Lucy freakin' Fields was skyping in and he was damned if he was going to look like an idiot in front of that bitch. He had to be at his top game.
"Quickie smicky..." Alex said pulling his hand away, and padding his barefoot way to the bathroom.
"Alex," April tried again. "We won't be late...I want-"
He turned around and snapped, "Look, I don't want to screw again right now, okay?"
"You don't want to because...you don't think I'm... att-ractive anymore. I look like a whale..." April stammered tragically.
Shit. There it goes. That wasn't the problem at all. He still thought she was hot. Very hot. And it was their baby and all. That made it hot too, somehow. Her growing and changing body was not the deal, heck, if it had been he'd have rejected her advances the first time, earlier that morning. Not that she could see that right now. April looked crest fallen, and teary eyed, she quickly gripped the sheet and pulled it around her body. Alex winced and held his hands up in apology. He didn't need her to start crying and whatever. He didn't mean to make her feel bad. To make her cry. He made his way back to the bed and reached a hand out to her bare shoulder.
"Look, I didn't mean-"
And bam! The tears changed. Her face flushed and she got angry. April pulled away from, grabbing her cane from the side of the bed and heading to the bathroom, taking the damn floral sheets along for the ride, "Obviously it's such a chore for you. Don't worry, I won't bother you again."
"April!" The door to the bathroom slammed, and he heard the shower water start running. Alex threw himself back flat on the bed and sighed.
Crap.
They were late anyway. And April gave him the freaking silent treatment the whole ride to the hospital before disappearing into the pit as soon as she left the locker room. So, of course the whole day when Alex should have been worried about kicking ass in the board meeting, he found himself overly concerned with wondering whether April really meant it. Would he'd be sleeping in the spare room for the foreseeable future? And what if he never got laid again? Later in the day as he and Robbins waited for their board meeting Alex eyed her carefully. She was going over her notes, just like Alex knew he should be. He gulped. The fact that he was about to ask what he was about to ask proved just how freakin' desperate he was. But, honestly, she was the only person he could really ask who'd been in his position before.
"Uh..." he stammered uncertainly, drumming his fingers on his stack of folders. "So...when Torres was pregnant...was she...did you notice...that...she wanted more...?"
Arizona blinked and her eyes lifted from her papers and stared at him in confusion, "Are you asking me what I think you are, Karev? Right before our teleconference? Really?"
"You know," Alex continued, speaking slowly and making crude gestures with his hands. "Did Callie get horny or whatever...? And mad...a lot?"
"I'm not sure this is something we should be talking about."
Alex was sure he'd done it again. Pissed off a chick in his life for the second time in a row that day. Her mouth remained open, and something near the corner of her eye twitched, and he was sure she was going to yell and bite his head off. He slumped dejectedly and looked at his hands.
"Fine. Whatever. It's not like I have anyone else to ask..."
"What do you mean?"
"No one else's...er...partner has been pregnant before," he mumbled. "I can't ask Shepherd because Zola's adopted. Bailey'd kick my ass if I tried to ask her ex-husband any of this crap. You've been through this..."
Winkling her nose, Robbins sighed and nodded, conceding his point, "Well...you have to remember that April's, what? About 26, 27 weeks?"
Alex nodded and Arizona continued, "That's farther along than Callie ever was..."
She'd been 23 weeks pregnant when the car accident happened. They both swallowed. Alex scratched his chin. That was a sobering thought. He remember how messed up Robbins had been back when the accident had happened. Sloan too. He'd known it was all a crap shoot then, but now that Alex was about to become a father himself, it all seemed way too real. He'd hate to think of his son, their baby, all hooked up to tubes and wires and everything like Sofia had been.
"But," Robbins said finally. "If my advice can help you at all, I guess I'll try. What exactly happened? You know what? No. I don't wanna know that."
They both shuddered in relief. They couldn't look at each other so they both stared straight ahead. Alex cleared his throat and sniffed. This had to be one of the most uncomfortable conversations he'd ever had.
"To answer your first question: yes. She was...a little horny at times...and that's normal. And I also have to say yes to the second one. We fought a lot when she was pregnant. A lot of it was legitimate, but some of it was just hormones. Growing tiny humans, that's a lot to deal with."
"So...Callie didn't stay mad?"
"Not really. Most things pass. Unless you really pulled a jerk move."
Alex nodded. Arizona's words made him think that maybe he hadn't royally screwed thing up that morning. It was just hormones and stress and it would all pass. Of course, the conversation had taken the time he'd needed to go over his notes, and before he knew it, he and Robbins joined the rest of the board in the conference room. And Alex didn't really know what the hell he was thinking in the meeting. Because it was there that he probably, no definitely, gave April a legitimate reason to be angry, if she ever found out. When she found out.
It was freakin' Lucy's fault really. Alex had felt his anger boil as soon as he saw her face appear on the skype monitor. All thin-lipped and mildly condescending. And then Jennings had started to talk about the project's recent approval to become a non-profit foundation. A non-profit foundation that listed Alex, Arizona, and Lucy as the founders. As if Lucy's part in all of the was as important as his. Or Robbins. Bullshit. His jaw grew tighter by the moment.
Then the board had gone on about the preparations to get things started in Africa for the summer. And Jennings kept commenting about how freakin' busy Lucy was going to be, setting up the on the ground in Malawi, and picking the students and all that crap.
Jennings stared down the long table at the group, "I think it is important to build our reputation among other surgeons in the states. There are a few conferences this year where it would be an excellent opportunity to let other doctors know exactly what we're all about. I think you surgeons are the best people to do that. Dr. Robbins is already committed to attend the American Academy of Pediatrics Conference in October. Now, although Dr. Fields is the only one currently able to advance our interests in Africa, I think it is important to be represented at the American Pediatric Surgical Association at the end of May."
On the screen Lucy blinked and lowered her eyebrows, seemingly flipping through a date book, "That's May 29th-5th of June in Phoenix...well, that's when we had planned to have the first pupils come to the clinic. I could bump that back a week and fly to the states..."
"We could fly you back-"Jennings continued, but Alex shook his head, interrupting him. "Yes?"
Alex huffed, "That's dumb."
Jennings tilted his head, "Really Dr. Karev? I think that it's important to have a presence at these meetings. Dr. Robbins is already willing to go to one. This year, your availability is limited-"
Glaring at Lucy, Alex crossed his arms. Maybe he just didn't want her to have it. Maybe he didn't want to feel like he was getting edged out of a project he cared about. He didn't know what the hell had gotten into him, but he kept talking, "I said I couldn't go to Africa."
Murmurs spread across the conference room. Lucy was looking at him closely. As much as she could through skype, anyway. Robbins looked at him sharply, mouthing, 'have you talked to April?'. Alex ignored her and pressed ahead.
"I said I couldn't go to Africa. I never said anything about the United States."
"Well, Dr. Karev," Jennings said, scribbling in his notebook. "That changes things. We can put you down for the APSA..."
"Don't you think that's cutting things a little close, Dr. Karev?" Arizona said pointedly. He chose to ignore her.
"Do it."
Alex didn't know why he said it, and he kind of zoned out for the rest of the freaking meeting. Robbins was right. April's due date was what? May 16th? What if their baby was late? He could miss the birth. And even if he didn't, his son would be very very young while he was gone. Did he really want to leave April all by herself for a week with the baby that soon? Did he even want to go? Not really. Only in the sense that it was important for this foundation. Honestly he knew it was dumb. But the project meant so much, and Lucy was cutting in on his territory. And it was like the whole thing was leaving him behind, and he just couldn't let that happen.
When the meeting was over and they were shutting down the conference call, Lucy gave him a small nod and said, "It's good to see you, Alex."
"Whatever."
His mind was on other things. Alex ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know if April would be okay with him going or not. Maybe. Maybe not. He did know that the thing that would make her more hurt then mad was the fact that he'd agreed to go to the conference without even talking to her about it. Without really even sparing a second thought to his fiancee or their future child. Crummy Dad already. No surprise there. He should just freakin stop Jennings and take it all back. Tell him travel was out of the question. But Alex didn't. He only shoved his hands in his pockets and watched the middle aged man leave the room. He was tired. Maybe he'd just let crap happen. Deal with the consequences later.
Robbins was looking at him, "What are you thinking? If you don't talk to her..."
"It's work."
"Callie and I talked about my conference before I agreed to go! And I didn't go away to one until Sofia was several months old. This might actually be a jerk move, Karev."
Whatever. Robbins didn't know everything. He'd deal. He would. Somehow.
April sighed and observed Alex out of the corner of her eye. He sat next to her on the couch half watching some basket ball game while she skimmed through her book of 1,001 baby names and meanings. Things had been awkwardly silent between them since the morning. Every time April had tried to start conversation, it failed. Alex would only reply with one syllable words. She'd been angry that morning, but now, April only felt mortified. She really didn't know what had come over her. She'd just...really wanted to...and then when Alex hadn't, she'd...gotten ridiculous and hot and bothered and pissed. And Alex was clearly still feeling sore about it. She'd made him feel guilty. He'd practically radiated guilt on the whole car ride home. Which made April feel even worse, because really, Alex didn't have a reason to feel guilty at all. It was just her and her desires and jumble of hormones.
"I think the Journal of Trauma and Acute Care Surgery wants to publish my article...if I can ever get it done..." April ventured, hoping to coax Alex out of his guilt induced silence. She was a little too embarrassed to actually address the whole thing directly, because she'd never been really good at talking about 'screwing' anyway, but she wanted him to know that she really wasn't mad. Not at all. And he knew she wasn't good at talking about sex.
Alex only stared at his hands and murmured, "Cool."
"How did your meeting go today?"
"Fine."
"Just fine?"
Opening his mouth Alex sighed and fiddled with the edge of the couch. He glanced at her for a moment and his eyes were dark and closed off. After a beat he shook his head and looked back to the flickering tv, without saying anything more.
That didn't bode well. April's guilt increased. Her little tantrum this morning really seemed to have shut him down. And she wasn't sure how to get past the walls. Luckily, a certain small someone did know how to. She gasped as she felt her baby twist and kick. The noise made Alex lift his head and watch her.
"He moving a lot?"
"Yes!" April grabbed his hand and held it too her stomach, waiting for the next movement. This time of evening so far had been the baby's usual active time. Sure enough, their waiting was rewarded with another kick. Watching Alex's face, April could see that beneath his haze of guilt, no small amount of awe was cutting through.
"Must feel like a flopping fish," he teased, half heartedly, making April laugh. She swatted him with the name book.
"No." That wasn't it at all, but April was hard pressed to find the words to describe how it did feel when her son moved. She felt like she could almost guess his moods, and what limb he was using. Of course, she was probably wrong.
Alex chuckled, and looked away from her again. April groaned and tried to get more comfortable on the couch. She hated when he was like this. He could be so...ridiculous sometimes. He didn't make sense on a good day, and she was at a loss as to how to snap him out of it.
"So," April tried again, opening her read notebook and skimming her list. "I've been thinking about names, and I have a few ideas. You want to hear them?"
Alex had been pretty hands off when it came to names, saying it was too early, or that it wasn't that big of a deal, or joking that they should just stick with May. He'd acted content to let April do most of the thinking on that front, so long as she wasn't picking any 'wuss' names. Now, she hoped to pull Alex in.
He seemed to come out of his shell a bit once again, "I wouldn't mind naming him after your Dad...Joe's a solid name."
Grinning April nodded, and said, "Okay, I had it as a middle name for a few..."
Alex shrugged, "Like what?"
"Ryan Joseph. Zachary Joseph. Anthony Joseph."
Alex was more engaged now. His scrunched up his face, "Nah, I don't like Zach. Foster brother named Zach once...he was a real piece of work."
April nodded and crossed the name out on her list. It wasn't one she was really keen about anyway. Actually, that was really the problem. April wasn't particularly drawn to any of the name combinations she had come up with. They were all fine, it was just that none of them felt like him. It was still easier to think of her son as May, then anything else.
"You don't like naming babies after people? Joe could be the first name..."
"Oh, it's not that I mind it so much...Alice is named after our Dad's mom. But she was dead before Alice was born, and I think it might be confusing having two people with the same name running around..."
"Oh," Alex nodded and looked thoughtful. "So dead people are fair game?"
"I guess so..." April had never really thought about it like that. Shaking herself, she continued, "I was actually thinking...we could pick an A name, so he can match...I mean, so he won't feel left out. I'm an AK, you're an AK, Amber's one...even Alice with her maiden name."
"I thought you hated matchy names..."
"I hated using months as names, but I am not opposed in general. It could be really good. Narrows our choices down..."
"That's true."
He still seemed closed off. April sighed, "You think it's dumb...it's dumb..."
"No," Alex frowned. "We were all AK's. Alex, Aaron, and Amber. It was cool. It might be cool. We could be 'Triple A'."
April nodded and began writing names down in a new list, "Okay...well thinking of A names then...I already have Anthony as an option...I also like Andrew, and Aiden...I'm on the fence over Asher..."
"What about Adam?"
April blinked, thinking over the name in her mind. Adam...Adam...Adam.
Hearing her silence, Alex ducked his head and shrugged, "It's a solid name. I dunno. I thought...Reed was your best friend. Due date's in May... coincidences and all that. If we're going for A names, it's kind of an obvious one. Maybe use...Percy as the middle name...get them both in. Wuss name's okay for a middle name. Especially if it means something...Whatever, it's just an idea."
Adam Percy Karev. April smiled. She blinked back tears at the sweetness of Alex's thought. Adam Percy Karev. It seemed to fit. Adam. Her son, Adam. Their son. She could hear it in her head. It worked. She quickly wrote down the name at the top of her baby name list.
"I like Adam," she said quickly, placing her hand on Alex's knee. "I like it a lot...I mean, if we see him and he's not Adam, we can go with Ryan, Joe, or any of the other names, but right now he feels like Adam."
April had thought, since he'd opened up and been thoughtful, that his guilt and tension from this morning had passed. They basically just picked their kid's name for crying out loud. But when he spoke again, Alex sounded as closed off as he was at the beginning of the night.
"Cool...cross naming off your freakin' list then."
"Right."
Swallowing, April crossed her arms and watched Alex. What was bugging him? Why would he hold a grudge against her for this morning? Or what else could possibly be bothering him? Africa stuff? Family stuff? Surgery stuff? She didn't know and Alex wasn't interested in telling her.
Finally, Alex stood up from the couch, rubbing the back of his head and heading toward the kitchen, "I need a beer."
April stayed where she was, watching him leave. She felt a small, kick and moved her hand to the spot, whispering, "Oh, Adam. Sometimes, I don't think I understand your Daddy at all..."