A/N: I'm baaack! Long time no see friends! (Special hello to folks who pmed to check in. So sweet!) Here is chapter 8. Later than I'd planned (sorry) but Grad school is picking up and I wanted to make sure I got you all the best chapter possible. (Besides, Alex and April have been waiting nine months for this day, so a few weeks pales in comparison...) Debated how to write this chapter, ultimately erring on the side of this being Grey's and what's Grey's without a little drama? Hopefully it works for you all. Full disclaimer: not only am I not a medical professional, I have never given birth. What follows here is based off of conversations and internet research, so accuracy is not at all guarunteed. Those of you reading, I thank you so much. This is so AU from the way things have turned out on the show, it's nice to know that people are still interested in reading this version of things. I appreciate every review you send, and I will do my best to get the next chapter out to you much sooner than I did for this one.

Alex ran a tired hand across his face, and leaned over and squeezed April's hand while she rode out another strong contraction. They'd come to the hospital late the previous night, once Dr. McCaw had helped them determine that this was, in fact, the real deal and not braxton hicks contractions. Now, it was early afternoon, and neither of them had been able to get any sleep. April's contractions in the beginning had been hard for her to identify, mostly because he'd screwed things up so immensely that she'd been too preoccupied with other things to pay attention. Once they'd made it to the hospital however, April's water had broken, and then labor intensified in earnest, and the pain was bad, despite slow progress on dilation. Not that both surgeons didn't know that long labors weren't unusual for first time mothers. It was just hard. Hard for Alex to see and even harder for her to feel.

Watching April writhe and moan on the bed, Alex felt even worse than he had when she had gone to Avery's to cool off after their fight. He felt guilty about everything. It was his fault that the baby was coming now, no matter what McCaw or anyone said about babies coming when they want to. The due date wasn't for two weeks, and Alex knew that his crap and fears making April stress was probably the freaking reason that the labor had started now. He was a doctor, and he knew that stress could trigger a lot of things late in pregnancy. He wished he could take it all back. Hide all his crazy from her again. It was better that way.

Now Alex had to shove his guilt and his frustrations and all the crap dragged up by the previous night out of his mind. Because right now, he needed to be here, in the moment, with April.

The contractions were much closer together now, and April gasped, whimpering again, her body tensing in pain, having barely gotten respite from the last wave. She scrunched up her face and gripped his hand tightly, curling up and panting raggedly. Alex winced as his eyes darted to the monitors by the bed. This was a big one. His brow furrowed. Both April and the baby's heart rates were looking good though. He leaned closer to her and used one hand to wipe the hair off of her sweaty forehead. He felt so freaking useless. Because he didn't remember any of the breathing crap from their classes, and nothing he said or did would change the fact that this pain was a necessary part of the process.

When it was over, April's body relaxed slightly, and Alex offered her a few ice chips from the plastic cup that sat on her bedside. After taking sliding the ice into her mouth, April moaned, "Ow..."

"I know," Alex did his best to offer comfort. "But you're doing really good. Do you wanna try to walk again?"

Walking the halls of the hospital had helped April get through her contractions earlier on in the day. They'd walked a lot. Alex would support her, guide her IV, fend off nosy co-workers, and keep her gown back closed while she shuffled along with her cane. That had seemed to really help, and it was something Alex could make happen. She had opted to forgo and epidural, so if she wanted to walk again now, she could. The only issue with walking had been her bum leg. It was already swollen and in bad shape from the last months of pregnancy and hours of walking in the morning hadn't helped. It had hurt bad enough earlier that April had asked to lay down again. He was willing to do whatever would help the most.

"N-no..." April replied, brow furrowing as she grunted in the beginning of another contraction. Alex swallowed and scooted his body onto the side of the bed, letting her rest her head on his shoulder as this contraction ran it's course. He'd honestly expected her to be louder. He'd expected April to scream bloody murder through everything. She'd only started to get louder now, and even that was not as much as Alex had heard in other births. He found it a little unnerving. Then again, way back when they were trapped in the earthquake he'd had to persuade her to scream. Maybe that was what made Alex nervous.

"Oh God," April whispered, her hand tightening around his fingers. "Oooh...damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!"

"You're okay. It's almost over," Alex answered running a hand down her back and frantically trying to remember anything to say. "Uh, just keep breathing? In and out, right? Breathe with me."

He took a deep slow breath in and April followed suit matching her ragged pained breaths with his own. This seemed to be one of the biggest contractions yet. Alex knew that the female body was designed to do this. Giving birth was one of the most natural processes of life. Chicks had been having babies for millions of years, and the fact that their was any human population on the planet at all meant that on a whole the whole labor and delivery thing had to be working. Otherwise they'd be extinct. Still, Alex knew it was different. When it's your own girl. And your own kid. Especially because Alex had seen first hand just how badly thing could go wrong.

Biology, for the first time since med school, gave him no real comfort.

Sensing April relax as the latest contraction faded, Alex tiled his head down and looked at her face. She was breathless, red faced and sweaty, with bags under her eyes. To him she'd never looked more beautiful. Because she was doing all of this having his freakin' kid. Their son.

"Oh..." she moaned, taking the moment between pains to regain her breaths. She turned to look at Alex and the corner of her lips lifted into a smile, "Let's just sit this next one out. Take a break...I'm sure no one would notice."

Despite it all Alex had to chuckle, "I think you probably would."

"Dang...a girl can dream can't she?" Her grin grew big enough that her dimples appeared on her cheeks. April seemed to be in good spirits. But abruptly the moment passed as another strong contraction reared it's head. She grimaced, gripping Alex's hand tightly and squeezing her eyes shut.

This time she did scream bloody murder.

After another round of contractions, Dr. McCaw strolled into the room, along with a couple of nurses to check on April's progress. Dude had been in and out of the room all the previous night and day, alternating between April and two other delivering Moms. All the while acting cheerful and wearing his stupid stork covered scrub cap. Exactly the kind of reason Alex wasn't cut out for OB. Screaming kids were one thing. Screaming chicks? Three or four at a time? No thanks. McCaw was alright at it though. Pulling latex gloves over his hands the dark haired doctor tilted his head sympathetically towards the bed.

"How are we feeling now, Mom?"

"I-" April began to answer but the spaces between contractions were now shorter than ever and she didn't have time to finish her sentence before the monitors beeped and her voice trailed off into a whine as her body tensed.

"She wants to push," Alex supplied, running his hand down her arm and relaying the information they'd talked about during the last gap between contractions.

"Yeah..." April moaned.

McCaw grinned, settling himself down for the exam at the business end of the bed, "Alright. That's a good sign. A very good sign. Let me just get a look at how things are going down here...oh right on, you are fully dilated! Baby's in a good position; his head is right there...so go ahead and push whenever you feel the urge."

Hearing the words seemed to be a great relief for April, because she immediately shifted position, panting hard, and began to bear down. For all that things had seemed to have dragged along slowly in the early part of labor, Alex felt like they were suddenly zipping along now much too fast for him to take in. As April pushed he squeezed her hand and murmured as much lame comfort as he could while McCaw coached from the foot of the bed.

After several minutes, the doctor spun in his chair and gave quick instructions to the nurses. They quickly started bringing in the karts and trays, a heat lamp, and other gear. Alex knew what all the stuff was. It wasn't like he'd never seen it before. They were getting ready for Adam. To give him his infant checks and clean him off and all of that. He'd seen it all before. But seeing it all brought home the point for Alex.

This was it. Showtime and whatever. He was about to become a Dad.

Gladys, a kindly looking older nurse Alex had always kind of gotten on with, winked at Alex as she unfolded blankets, spreading one on April's chest and laying the rest out in the hospital bassinet, "Not long now, my dears..."

April groaned and strained with the effort of bringing her baby into the world. Her face crumpled and leaned back fretfully, breathing in rapid gasps.

"You are doing so well, April. Light push," Dr. McCaw said calmly from the far end of the bed. "Perfect. He's so close. Head's out. He's right here. Just a little more..."

Alex wrapped his arm around her shoulders and whispered confidently in her ear, "You can do it."

And she did.

Alex had seen births before. Lot's of them in fact. He'd assisted and observed, and all of that. But this was different. It was different when it was you own kid. The moment was kind of surreal. One minute, life was one way. A way Alex had grown accustomed to in the past two years, even if it was occasionally rocky. He'd gotten used to it. Life being him and April. And one minute it was still like that, but the next...suddenly Adam was there. Kind of like magic. Everything changed for Alex. They were three.

McCaw lifted the slippery, wriggling baby clear and quickly suctioning fluid from his mouth. Adam seemed momentarily startled but within seconds, he was screaming loudly and Alex felt himself swell with pride. Set of lungs that kid had. His kid. He was certain he had never ever heard a more beautiful sound.

"Here's the headliner. Looking good...Okay Dad," Dr. McCaw said grinning and offering Alex a clamp. "You want to cut the cord?"

"Hell yeah," Alex rolled his eyes, but didn't even bother correcting the dude, as he reached down and took the instrument.

He'd never been one who believed in all that kumbaya circle of life crap and whatever...but he kind of got it now, as he severed the last tie that Adam had with April. Because he couldn't help but think that about four years ago, in this very hospital, Alex had been dying, trapped in an elevator with a freakin' bullet in his chest. At that moment, he'd been so sure that he was screwed. He'd been sure that he was dying. And yet now? Now, here he was alive and well, and his son had just been born.

A whole freakin' new life. Alex grinned and scooted next to April, as the nurses carefully laid their son on her chest. This was another normal part of delivery that Alex had seen before, but now felt completely different about. Parents got a little time to bond right away before the nurses took over, warming, cleaning, and examining the baby. Alex could only gaze down at his son, clearing his throat. The moment she wrapped her arms around the screaming baby, April started bawling. Typical. Because Alex was only blinking a lot because he had dust or some crap in his eyes. That was all. Really.

"Hello," she whispered, tearful but awestruck. "Hello my love...I know it's kind of scary...this is different for you, huh? It's okay."

Unable to stop the goofy idiotic grin that spread across his face, Alex kissed April on the cheek, murmuring, "You did great...look at him, April? I love you. You did so freakin' good..."

Yeah, so right now, Adam was messy and screaming or whatever, but Alex knew that he was perfect. This was the perfect moment. Possibly the best in his whole life, ever. And he just wanted to enjoy it.

April had never felt this way before. She had never felt so much love instantaneously for someone so small. Adam was the most beautiful little thing she had ever seen in her life. She'd thought she loved him before he was born. Now that he was here, April began to understand just how much more it was possible to love.

It was surprisingly, just like all her sisters had said in their conversations over the past few months. Libby and Kimmie had both had epidurals and Alice had had Gaby at home, but for once they were all in agreement (and that was probably a first). Labor hurt like a bitch. Not as bad as getting a leg crushed by 10 tons worth of building, April supposed, but it hadn't been a pleasant at all. It was more than enough to banish her disquiet over Alex and their fight the previous evening. As her sisters had told her, it had been exhausting and uncomfortable and at moments she felt like she was going to tear apart. A few times April had even felt like she couldn't do it at all.

Labor hurt like a bitch.

And yet, just like her sister's had said, the moment she heard Adam cry, all the pain and exhaustion and all of it disappeared from April's mind. Her baby was here! After months of waiting April and Alex were finally meeting their child. And all the pain and hurt seemed completely worth it.

Adam was real and solid and alive in her arms.

His screams seemed to calm down when he was laid in closer proximity to her. At least, the screams seemed less sharp. She couldn't stop the tears from falling freely and she was vaguely aware of Alex sniffling and murmuring beside her too. He was so excited. Through her tears, April grinned at him, feeling an inexplicable surge of love for him too, even though she'd thought she already loved him as much as was possible.

April didn't know long they gazed at their baby before Dr. McCaw and one of the peds nurses leaned over to them. April reluctantly allowed the nurse to scoop Adam up. She didn't really want to let him go.

"We're just going to clean him off and do his newborn checks, okay? Get him dressed and under a heat lamp. We'll just be right over here with him," the older woman tilted her had to the kart set up in the far corner of the room.

McCaw squeezed April's shoulder gently, as he moved back down to the end of the bed and began peering between her legs, "And we've got some stuff to finish up with for you..."

April blinked fuzzily. Yes. How could she have forgotten? The final part of delivery. Far less glamorous.

She reached a hand to Alex's arm and looked pointedly at the nurses in the corner as they checked Adam, "S-Stay with him okay? Please? You have to stay with him. Promise?"

He kissed her cheek again and stood up, "Okay."

April didn't want her baby to feel alone with strangers, even for a minute. She thought from his perspective it was probably all frightening enough, being out in the world. It must feel too loud, and too open and too bright. At least he'd recognize Alex. Maybe. It took April a moment to focus on the nurse that was next to her now as the woman patted her arm comfortingly and teased, "Your first lesson in motherhood, dear. You're work is never done."

When she'd finally processed the joke, April pulled her mouth in a half smile. She figured the exhaustion of the labor must finally be hitting her. It felt weird. But she didn't spare much time to think about it as she could hear Alex and the nurses talking over Adam's continued wailing. She just wanted to hold her baby close and comfort him.

"Apgar is a solid 9...look at this big beautiful boy...opening his eyes. He's so alert..."

"And a big mouth!" Alex said proudly. He turned back to April and grinned, "Everything looks great, April. He's got ten fingers, ten toes, two balls, one-"

"Al...-lex!" April scolded breathlessly blinking as the room seemed to move strangely slowly. By the time her words escaped her mouth, Alex had already turned back to the hospital bassinet. She was feeling less and less aware of the goings on in the room around her. Dr. McCaw peered up with concern in his eyes, turning to a nurse and gesturing for more pads. April felt strangely disconnected from the flurry of activity that was going on at the bottom of the bed, even though of course, intellectually, she knew it was happening to her.

"And it's out, but I'm seeing a lot more blood loss than I'd like to...I need more pads," The tone of his voice, uncharacteristically serious, and the bright red blood that covered his gloves would have alarmed April if she didn't suddenly feel so disjointed. It actually took her a moment to register that it was her blood. Dr. McCaw spoke again, directing the nurses, "Push more oxytocin in her IV. Start uterine massage now, we need to slow this down..."

Suddenly the nurses were pressing down on her abdomen, making nausea rise in her throat. April gasped and tried to pull away. Dr. McCaw spoke kindly to her, with a discernible note of concern, "This is going to help with your rate of blood loss. Try to stay awake for me, okay? You might be feeling a bit faint..."

"I-I feel funny..." April tried to explain, realizing for the first time that the periphery of her vision was rapidly shrinking, and that her limbs suddenly felt as though they were weighted down by lead and like she'd been standing outside in a snow storm. "I'm cold..."

Adam was still crying and it was as though the sound gave April actual physical pain.

Blinking seemed to do nothing to stop the progress of the black spots in her field of vision. Something clicked in April's mind. She might be out of it, and but she was still a surgeon. She was loosing too much blood. This was acute postpartum hemorrhage. She remembered making the flash card in the first year medical school. It had been on the green card stock, the last of the supply she'd brought with her from home, purchased with Kimmie at the general supply store in downtown Cook. She'd written it alone in her room, while Greta and Lauren and her other housemates had gone out to coffee shop together to review. Without inviting her. April had told herself that she preferred to study alone anyway.

The clear, looping, and precise lettering of her own handwriting spiraled through April's mind: "Though generally rare, defining postpartum hemorrhage (PPH) is problematic and has been historically difficult. Waiting for a patient to meet the postpartum hemorrhage criteria, particularly in resource-poor settings or with sudden hemorrhage, may delay appropriate intervention. Risk factors include multiple gestation, abruptio placenta, prolonged labor, and large babies."

The condition was hard to predict and very dangerous. And if April was diagnosing herself...this would fit the bill.

Just her freakin' luck. April almost felt like laughing. In the past 24 hours, not only had she just experienced one of the most painful fights of her relationship, and given birth to a baby, but she was also probably bleeding out. On top of all her other wonderful previous life experiences, such as tripping over her dead best friend, facing down a shooter, and almost losing her leg in an earthquake. Clearly the universe had it in for her.

As her vision blacked out even further, April felt tears fill her eyes and the sound of her son's cries was all she could focus on. She just wanted to hold him again.

"What the hell is going on?"

"We're going to need 700ML, type O blood!"

Just one more time. She wanted to hold Adam just one more time. The words rolled around in her head as her vision suddenly faded out and April slipped into blackness.

"Everything looks great, April," Alex said, watching as the nurses cleaned off and checked over the baby. "He's got ten fingers, ten toes, two balls, and one-"

He was so wrapped up in watching Adam, that he didn't quite notice just how long it took April to chastise his crassness. When she did, Alex had already moved on focusing on taking in every detail about their new son, and he didn't notice her tone. He didn't notice a lot of things. Besides, April had specifically said to stay with the baby, and they were both alive and kicking so it was okay. All he could see or wanted to see at that very moment was Adam.

"You clean up pretty nice. Huh, little dude?" Alex said, in cooing goobery tone of voice that would have made him cringe back in the day. He carefully cupped the crown of fine reddish hair that covered Adam's head, attempting to comfort the infant as the nurses did his foot prints.

"Yeah you do...yes you do," Gladys smiled and cleaned the black ink of of the baby's feet. "Have you guys picked out a name for him?"

"Adam," Alex replied titling his head and smiled as his son gripped his index finger with surprising force.

"That's nice," the kindly nurse crooned. "A nice strong name for a nice strong boy. None of this Pilot or Blanket nonsense..."

Alex had seen many newborn babies in his time as a resident. Mostly sick ones, premature ones, and all that. His memory of Sofia at birth was the most clear. She had been miniature, so tiny, and blue. Limp. He remembered Robbins had had to rush right in and get the heartbeat going. He'd assisted on the same procedure hundreds of times with countless sick infants. Adam was nothing like those kids. He was a giant compared to Sofia, both in weight but also in length. It surprised Alex just how long Adam's limbs were; his arms and his legs, even the baby's fingers were elegant and sturdy. Good for surgery, if it was ever something his son wanted. Adam was also constantly in motion, making jerky experimental movements with his head, arms, and legs.

The baby's screams hadn't slowed much at all, which made Alex eager for the nurses to finish the newborn checks and whatever. Adam was still wailing and scowling up at them, his wrinkly forehead revealing just how displeased he was with the whole situation. He knew it wasn't a bad thing that Adam was crying that hard. It was actually a good indicator in young young babies. It meant that it was more than safe to say that his lungs were fully developed and clear of residual fluid. Medically Alex knew this, but he realized he really didn't at all like to hear his own kid cry. It kind of made his skin itch. He just wanted to pick the baby up and tell him it'd all be okay. Alex hadn't gotten to actually hold Adam yet. And he kind of thought he could tell that Adam wouldn't oppose the idea either. At least, judging by how tightly the baby was gripping Alex's finger.

The sound of monitors freaking out behind him, brought Alex back from his little bubble of baby-only awareness and he whipped his head around to the bed. April was surrounded by a flurry of nurses, and McCaw with his scrub mask on near her legs, surrounded by used pads, each covered in blood, Alex realized. Far too much blood. And April wasn't talking anymore, and she was pale and it looked like she was passed out and holy crap this couldn't be happening. She wasn't...she couldn't be...But then again Alex had seen April in a dire situation before. He knew what it looked like. Maybe she had a placental abruption? Acute postpartum hemorrhage? Sudden cardiac distress? Ruptured blood vessel somewhere? Seizure?

There were any number of things that could be going wrong. Alex knew all of them. He kicked himself; he should have anticipated something like this. Stress and all that. He should have been paying more attention. Maybe...It just wasn't fair.

Gently extracting his hand from Adam's grip, Alex spun on his heel and strode over to the bed feeling his panic rising.

"What the hell is going on?" Alex demanded, glaring at Dr. McCaw.

The OB ignored Alex, instead turning to the nearest nurse and requesting blood packs. Alex felt his heart seize up in his chest. 700ML? Freaking A.

McCaw said firmly, "Let's get them outta here, please?"

"Tell me my wife's freaking status!"

The words had left his mouth without much thought. Alex had never called April his wife before. She wasn't. Yet. Technically.

But April was as good as his wife. In every way that mattered. She was the mother of his child, and if there was one thing Alex was certain about in this moment, it was that they were supposed to be a family. The three of them. No matter what kind of crap he thought, or didn't think. Adam should have a mom and a dad. If she...if...He realized that for all his stupid, irrational fear that things between them would fall apart, he'd never anticipated that he might be in this whole parenting thing alone. He'd always thought he'd lose April and Adam. He knew he'd be left behind. Just not like this.

"Tell me or I swear to God I will kick your ass!" Alex bellowed again at the OB, making McCaw wince, the nurses give him freaking pity looks, and startling Adam just enough that there was a pause in his crying. And of course April was sill unconscious, so she didn't do anything. Alex gulped. Behind him Gladys was wrapping Adam up and wheeling his little cart out of the room.

McCaw's eyes lifted to Alex's for a fraction of a second, before speaking briskly, "April's having some blood loss, Dr. Karev. More than I am comfortable with. That's why she passed out. The baby, he's quite large, so it seems the placental blood system between them was pretty extensive. But I'm on it Dr. Karev, we've got more blood coming. I know what I am doing. Just let me do my job."

Alex opened his mouth to protest, as he felt the hands of the nurses pulling him toward the door. He wanted to know more. What was Dr. McCaw's plan? His rate of success in this situation? Good outcomes, bad outcomes? Would April...would she make it? He needed answers.

"Come on, Dr. Karev," Gladys called from the hallway. "We're almost done with Adam now. He could use a little Daddy time I should think..."

"Go on," McCaw said evenly. "I'll take good care of her."

Alex swallowed. He knew he had to leave. He knew what it was like as a doctor to have some crazed and freaked out family member watching your every move like a hawk. It could mess with your game, and that was unacceptable right now. And April had asked him specifically. 'Stay with Adam' she'd said. She'd made him promise. He was damned if he would let her down any more than he already had.

With one last look at the flurry of activity surrounding April's bed, Alex allowed the nurse to lead him to a small room with a rocking chair in it down the hall. He paced back and forth as Gladys carefully dressed Adam now that all his checks were done. Clothes didn't seem to be his favorite thing either. Alex figured his son was finding the outside world to be a little much.

The old nurse looked up at Alex sympathetically, "Opinionated one, this little guy. You two will have your work cut out for you..."

Wincing at Adam's screams, Alex glowered, "I hope so."

"I've seen worse complications over the years," Gladys added. "Nothing to do now but wait. Keep the faith."

"Whatever," Alex shrugged, digging into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He hated waiting. He'd never been a guy who put much stock in faith, or wishful thinking or crap like that. It never amounted to anything anyway. And all the good things in his life seemed to come with a price. Maybe even including his son.

He'd give anything to be a wishful thinking sort of person. Alex would give anything to know that April would be okay. He'd give anything to make her okay. He'd put up with folding clothes and helping to plant flowers in the yard. He'd write and mail thank you letters for crap he didn't even like. He'd go with her to all the freakin' stupid counselling and whatever she wanted him. He air out all his crazy family crap and reveal everything. If it would help. If she'd live. Screw his insecurities and his anger and conferences and all that. Alex would do anything if she lived.

The screen on his phone revealed 5 missed calls from Ohio, texts from Mer, Avery and Dr. Bailey, and a call from his sister. It had been a while since he'd updated any of them, and he surely didn't feel up to it now. Alex sniffed and shoved the phone back into his pocket before digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. Nothing was working out like it was supposed to. Like he thought it would.

Alex settled down in the rocking chair and carefully took Adam into his arms after the nurses had finished with him. He'd never felt this way ever before in his life. It was weird. He'd known this little person for all of 20 minutes and already it was as though Alex's whole world had shifted on his axis. It was sappy, but Alex didn't care. He loved his son more than his own freakin' life. The baby was now neatly clothed in a white hospital onesie, wrapped in a blanket, with a small blue cap covering his head. He seemed to have finally settled down, and his cries quieted to coos as soon as he rested in the crook of Alex's arms. He and April made a baby. This was his son. He had a kid.

Holding the baby close, Alex rocked the chair slowly. Adam was still awake and alert and he squinted up at Alex with watery newborn eyes. Alex knew that newborns didn't have very good eye sight, but it seemed like his son was trying to drink in as much as possible. He was mesmerizing. Freaking perfect.

"Hey there buddy," Alex said softly. "Uh, I'm your Dad..."

Adam yawned, and blinked sleepily up at his father. Alex was sure he had the baby's attention. He offered his finger again, and smirked sadly as the baby took a tight hold of his finger. Poor kid wasn't even a hour old, and crap was already not going his way. Karev curse.

"I guess you're probably wondering where your Mom is..." he continued haltingly. "Don't feel bad about that though. I know she wants to hold you too...it's just she's a little busy right now...but she really loves you...and...you'll...we'll see her soon."

With any luck. The wolds elicited another blink, and a small trail of drool fell from his Adam's lower lip. Alex sniffed and shifted again, using the blanket to wipe the corners of the baby's mouth.

"Your mom is great; she's gonna to spoil you and kiss you and snuggle and all that crap. She will...if she...she will."

Alex was keeping the faith. Or at least trying his damnedest to. Because of Adam.

"Look, I'm going to level with you, okay, Adam? You might not have really hit the jackpot when it comes to Dads...it's true. I'm doing the best I can. I'm gonna take care of you. I, um...I don't know that much about being a father or whatever."

Alex paused, frowning in thought before continuing, "Then again, you don't know much about being alive either, right?"

Adam cooed, smacking his tiny lips, as his eyes started to droop with sleep.

"We're both new at this. We'll help each other out..." Alex rocked back and forth, watching as his son drifted off. It was a small epiphany, but it made Alex relax a little.

After Adam had fallen completely asleep, Alex just sat and watched him. He didn't know how long they stayed that way. It felt like he and the baby were in limbo. At a bizarre crossroads, with two very different lives ahead of them. One with April. Another without. He knew which one he preferred. Which one he was freakin best able to handle.

A gentle knock at the door made Alex's head snap up, catching sight of Dr. McCaw. He blurted, "Please tell me she's okay..."

"Yes, April is absolutely fine," the doctor replied, smiling. Alex breathed a huge sigh of relief, and Adam wriggled against his chest.

"We got the bleeding stopped and transfused some new blood. She'll need to take it easy for a few weeks and she is at risk for anemia, but that's nothing too serious," Dr. McCaw said, "She's asleep but you can take the baby in and have him see Mom now, Dr. Karev. "

"It's Dad..." Alex corrected, hanging his head sheepishly. "I'm a Dad now. And she's gonna get to be a Mom... because of you...so...uh, thanks or whatever..."

"No problem. Turns out, I'm actually pretty good at what I do," McCaw clapped Alex on the shoulder and winked, before heading out the door.

Alex shifted and looked down at Adam, who remained fast asleep in his father's arms, "Let's go see Mama, okay? We're gonna go see your Mama..."